Chapter Twelve
It was almost sensory overload for Aaron.
The store was packed with wall-to-wall items. Yet it was orderly and accessible. It offered every Age Play item he’d ever dreamed of—and then some!
There were adult-sized rocking horses, playpens, cribs, and changing tables made to accommodate people even as big as him. Diapers were plentiful, and many of them had cute, colorful prints.
A selection of water guns and other toys lined a whole wall.
Clothes took up a large chunk of the space.
By the time their shopping excursion was finished, the couple had shelled out a few hundred bucks.
“I shouldn’t have spent that money,” he said as they walked the short distance back to their cottage.
The store had promised to deliver their stuff, so Aaron only carried one bag of a few items they wanted right away, knowing the rest would arrive in a little while.
“You only live once,” Amber said. “And how often are you at a store that caters to Littles? Anyway, we are doing good financially. It’s fine.”
He nodded, but deep down, still felt uncertain. It wasn’t just about the money, either.
His mind kept drifting back to the guys at the station. Were they out fighting a fire right now? Helping with a medical emergency? Or maybe they were just sitting around, busting each other’s balls the way they did, watching a baseball game on TV or something.
What would they think if they knew where he was?
More than that, what would they think if they knew what he was?
Entering the cottage, he put the package down on the table and stood there looking at it, almost resenting now what he’d bought.
The feeling of Amber’s hand taking his jerked him from his thoughts.
Her voice was soft and comforting. “Honey, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry here. Just let go.”
“But…” He sighed, shook his head, and then offered her an apologetic smile. A moment later, he continued. “How do you always know what I’m thinking?”
“I don’t always know. But I do most of the time.” A wink accompanied the statement.
He chuckled. “Okay, so how?”
Amber gave him a little shrug. “I know you better than anyone. And you know me better than anyone.” She squeezed his hand.
“It was obvious when we first got here that you were excited. But now that you’ve had some time to process everything, all that self-doubt you feel about being Little is coming back. ”
Aaron nodded.
“Do you like being here?”
“I love it!” he said genuinely. He didn’t even have to think about that one.
“And you want to stay?”
There was no question about that answer, either. “Absolutely.”
It was an honest answer. But that didn’t mean all his doubts and fears had been instantly eradicated.
“How do I get back to…like I was…or what I felt…when we first arrived?”
There was a pause as his wife thought it over. Finally, she said, “I think you play through it.” She smiled knowingly. “Play being the keyword here.”
Aaron thought about it for a moment. “Like, I just jump in and fake it until I make it?”
“That’s exactly right. Hey, you won’t have to try very hard.
You were so excited when you realized where we were earlier.
And the look on your face at the store, when you saw all the stuff, was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.
” She stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him, and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
“That was just a half hour ago. I promise you, you’ll get back there. ”
Amber was right, Aaron realized.
Of course, she almost always was.
And how did she know exactly what he’d been feeling? Had it been that obvious that his anxiety was returning?
Perhaps. It was bigger than that, though.
They were that close. Like she’d said, Amber just…knew him. Intimately. And he knew her. What they shared was beautiful.
It was beautiful that she’d planned this whole thing just for him, too.
And while he knew it wasn’t about appeasing her, he didn’t want to let her down by wasting their time worrying about what people who weren’t even there would think about him.
Or by fearing his anxiety would return. What was the worst thing that could happen?
He had a panic attack? They could deal with that if and when it came.
Right now, he might as well live in the moment. After all, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It would sure be a damn shame to waste it.
With that in mind, he reached in the bag and pulled out one of the packages of diapers they’d bought. “Can I wear one of these?”
They were the thickest diapers the store sold. Plastic-backed and promising to be extra crinkly.
Aaron felt super Little just holding them.
“Of course.”
A moment later, Aaron was naked and on top of the changing station that was built into one of the cottage’s walls. The puff of baby powder that gently fell between his legs felt cool and comforting, and when the aroma reached his nostrils, it further put him at ease.
“Boy, it sure was time for a change. That diaper you were in was soaked! I should have checked it. Now, lift that cute booty up. Mommy needs to slide this diapee under you.”
Aaron happily obeyed, and a moment later, as his bare cheeks lowered down onto the soft cotton, he couldn’t help but sigh.
“Aww. How cute are you?” Amber playfully bopped his nose and then got back to getting him padded. “This is so thick!”
She was right again. That was the thickest diaper Aaron had ever had the pleasure of wearing!
“Remember the rules—all tinkles go in your baby pants. No big boy potties for you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, already sliding into Little Space just as Amber had suspected he would.
“As thick as these diapers are, they can hold whatever you give them. So, this rule will be strictly enforced. I’d hate to paddle you on vacation.”
Aaron didn’t want that either, so he made a silent vow to obey Mommy.
“We only brought one outfit back,” Amber continued. “So, you’ll have to wear the shortalls for now until the store delivers the rest of our stuff. Once you’re dressed, we’ll walk around some more and maybe you can find friends to play with.”
The thought of being Little with others both excited and terrified Aaron.
Could he actually do it? It was something he’d always dreamed of. Would he be able to really follow through, though?
Amber was startled by a knock on the door, but Aaron had been so lost in thought that it didn’t even register until a moment later.
“I better get that.” He started to rise, but his wife just put a gentle hand on his bare chest and chuckled.
“What?” he asked.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
He looked down to remember he was only wearing a diaper. Laughing too, he said, “Yeah. I should put something on first.”
“You stay here. I’ll get the door.”
“But—”
“Honey. We’re in a resort. It’s safe. I’m okay answering the door. You’re here to protect me if I need it.”
Aaron blushed, feeling silly. “Yeah. Probably just someone from the store, anyway, dropping our stuff off.”
That guess proved to be correct. He listened as Amber thanked the delivery person and expected to hear the door closing next, but instead Amber said, “Well, hello, Little Miss Millie. What are you up to? Besides being cute.”
Aaron heard the other Little giggle. He marveled at how easily Amber was taking to this whole Mommy thing. At first, he figured she forced it just to go along with his desires. But it sure seemed to come natural now.
“Hi, Auntie Amber. Wait. Is it okay if I call you that? It’s just sort of what I call the other Bigs around here. Aunt or Uncle.”
“I’d love for you to call me that.”
Millie giggled again. “Does Aaron want to come play in the water war? I’m outnumbered! I could use some help.”
“I don’t know. But I can ask him.”
Stepping deeper in the cottage and now facing him, Amber said, “Did you hear the invitation?”
Aaron’s mind was spinning.
This was it! His chance to play with another Little for the first time! It was something he’d dreamed about for so long. Never connecting with anyone else like him, he’d felt lonely for much of his life. Here was an opportunity to change that, though.
He had to take it.
“I’d love to.” Though the tone in his voice didn’t quite match the eagerness of his words.
“You’re going to have so much fun,” Amber told him reassuringly. “Come on. Let’s get your shortalls on, cutie. It’s time for you to go make some friends.”
Aaron smiled.
He could do this, he reminded himself.
With Mommy in his corner, he could do anything.