Chapter 1 Healing Wounds #3
“I don’t care!” I pleaded. “I don’t want to talk to you—is that really so hard to understand?”
Why wouldn’t someone come help me? Why had I gone outside to talk to Naya when I could have just done it in the living room? Why did I have to lock myself out on exactly that day?
Monty clenched his teeth. “I’m not leaving until you’ve heard me out.”
I observed him carefully. In the time we’d been together I’d learned to see the signs that I might be in danger. If I got the least sense he might snap, I’d need to take off running.
“I’m just here to tell you that even though I’m glad to be helping out there in the garage and I’m glad your mom’s taken a liking to me, if it’s a problem, I’ll stop.”
That threw me off. Was he trying to be a good guy now?
“Leave me alone,” I murmured, shaking my head.
“I hate seeing you like this, rejected by your family over a guy you’re not even going out with anymore.”
How did he know all this? Were my parents sharing intimate details of my life with him?
“For the last time, go before I call the cops.”
“I don’t understand how you can let this Jack guy push you away from your family when you haven’t even seen him in like a year. Jenny, this is your family we’re talking about. And they’re really suffering over this.”
So he’s not just a good guy now, he’s a family therapist in training?
“They adore you,” he continued, “and they want the best for you. It may not seem that way because they don’t use the right words, but I promise you they’re worried and they want you back home. And if what you need to do that is for me to stay out of their lives, then just say the word and…”
He fell silent. The door opened and I almost fell backward, but I grabbed the frame just in time. My grandmother whizzed past me and Monty hurried away. “Get off my property!” she shouted. “Don’t you dare come close to her!”
I was surprised my grandmother had scared Monty that bad, but then I saw she was aiming her brother’s old hunting rifle straight at him. “Get out!” she shrieked, and he didn’t try to argue. “Next time, I’ll have the safety off, understand?!”
When he was gone, she lowered the weapon and asked, “Did he hurt you?”
“No,” I reassured her.
“Are you all right? Do you need anything?”
Honestly, I couldn’t have felt better. Seeing her rush to my defense had brought a smile to my face. Maybe it was the nerves. “Do you actually know how to use that thing?” I asked.
“This shotgun? It hasn’t worked in twenty years. Come on, Jenny, let’s go inside.”
We decided to call the cops. Two officers came by, but they didn’t seem to think there was a problem.
As they took our statement, they kept pressing me on certain points, and I started to wonder if they even believed me.
We had called Shannon, too, and their indifference made her so angry that once they were gone, she took it out on poor Owen, yelling at him to turn down the volume on his cartoons.
The poor kid had no idea he’d done anything wrong.
Monty didn’t try to contact me again, at least, and my life went back to its normal routine.
Gas station, track practice, dinners with my grandmother, weekend nights watching movies with my nephew, and exhaustion.
This went on until I decided to visit the college’s website one day.
Seeing the tuition, the deadlines, imagining getting back into the swing of it…
it made me so nervous, but it was also so exciting.
It had been a miracle that I didn’t flunk out that first semester, and yet there I was, clicking through registration links for the five classes I had planned to register for before I suddenly decided to come back home.
They didn’t look much harder than what I’d already done, and as I looked at loan applications, I realized, biting my lip: I can do this.
It sounded so strange to say. I lay back on the sofa and, without knowing why, called the only classmate I had stayed in touch with since leaving, a guy named Curtis.
We’d done a few group projects together.
He had a special spark, and he was funny, and he’d always made class time pass more quickly.
“Jenna!!” he shouted as he picked up. “I sure didn’t expect you to call.”
“Hey, Curtis, can I ask you a question?”
Alas, my poor friend had failed half his classes after spending most of his first year partying.
The good news, though, was that since he’d be repeating a bunch of coursework, we’d probably share some of our classes.
He was optimistic: “Trust me,” he said, “you’ll do great.
There’s just one problem, and that’s the dorms. I doubt you’ll get a spot this close to the start of classes. ”
When I heard that, I called Naya, and she was over the moon when I told her I might come back.
“You think there’s any chance you could talk to Chris and see if he can help me get back into the dorms?” I asked. “Imagine if we could be roomies again…”
“Eh…” Naya responded. “The thing is, I’m not in the dorms anymore.”
Silence. I blinked several times as I asked, “What?”
“I’m living with Will and Sue. I moved in a few weeks ago. I forgot to tell you, sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry, I’m sure it’s fun. I mean, you already basically lived there anyway.”
“Well, Will’s happy about it. Sue’s a different story… But listen, I’ll call Chris and see if he can pull some strings.”
“Thanks so much,” I said.
She was back on the phone a few minutes later with the bad news: “They’re all full. But I talked to Will and Sue and we came up with a solution.”
She sounded bubbly, and I thought I could sense where this was going. “Naya…”
“Just come live with us!”
“But…”
“No buts! We’re all friends, and now there’s an empty room!!”
“Yeah. An empty room that belongs to my ex-boyfriend. I can’t!” I protested.
“Jenna, come on… It’s been almost a year since he was last here. He’s probably settled in, ready to make France his home. Do you honestly think he’s just going to show up now?”
“With my luck, yeah.”
“You want me to text him and ask?”
“Naya, it’s not just that I’m worried he’ll come around, it’s that I don’t want to sleep in his room. It’s intrusive. It’s weird. If someone did something like that to me, I’d be furious.”
“Whatever…” she replied. “How about if we bought a sofa bed? It would at least give you somewhere to crash while you’re looking for a room… Chris told me if something opened up at the dorm, he’d call right away.”
We talked on and on for probably an hour, and predictably, Naya wound up convincing me it was a good idea.
So soon afterward, there I was: I’d quit my two jobs, my bags were packed, and I’d made the first payment on my tuition.
My grandmother had sewn me two wool hats, Shannon had brought over clothes from my parents’ house, and Spencer was downstairs playing with Owen while he waited for me.
I could hear them laughing from upstairs.
As I looked at myself in the mirror, Shannon sat on the bed behind me, asking, “So, are you nervous?”
I wondered… I don’t know if it was just me, but nothing looked good on me that day. I was a disaster. My clothes sucked, my body sucked, my hair sucked. I took off what I was wearing and threw it into the pile on the floor. I had gone through what felt like a million outfits in record time.
My sister seemed to find the whole thing hilarious, and said, “Never mind, I don’t know why I even asked.”
“Why does everything look so terrible on me?”
“It’s just how you see yourself, hon, because you’re worried. I’m sorry, scratch that, it’s your clothes. It’s time to update your wardrobe. Thank God I picked you up a few things at the mall.”
“My clothing is fine,” I grunted.
“Jenny, you know I love you like no other and you’re the best sister in the world, but your fashion sense is, um…”
I rolled my eyes and kept looking, finally managing to find a red sweater I used to wear my first year of school. “How’s this one?” I asked.
“Obviously I like it, because it’s mine.”
“It was yours. It’s mine now.”
“Sure,” she replied. “If I can have your platform boots and your blue necklace.”
“Why don’t you just take everything else while you’re at it?
” I asked. I was too tired to argue. The red sweater didn’t look terrible, at least. I’d end up keeping it, along with a few other garments I’d packed.
My sister spent hours throwing clothes at me, and I’d either fold them or cast them aside.
I doubted I’d make a splash back at school, but at least I wouldn’t have to go naked.
Neither Shannon nor I could get the suitcase to close, and I had to sit down on it as we each pulled one zipper, meeting in the middle.
In the meanwhile, Shannon asked me to explain something to her: “It’s been a year since you’ve seen your old friends, right?
Naya, Will, and Sue…with everything that happened with a certain young man I won’t name…
aren’t you worried about running into him? ”
“No,” I lied.
“But you’re sleeping in his room.”
“They’re getting a sofa bed for the living room. I thought about asking to share Sue’s room, but I dropped that idea almost immediately. And I won’t be freeloading this time, I’m paying rent.”
“I understand, Jenny, and all that sounds great, but…are you going to be happy?”