Chapter 49
Chapter Forty-Nine
RYDER
A s soon as Elizabeth’s tongue touches mine, I’m done for. My desire for her overrides my conscience. I’m tired of fighting this. Tired of always being the one to walk away. Tired of watching Jay take what should have been mine. Because she’s always been mine, even when she wasn’t. If this is my one opportunity to kiss her the way I have fantasized about, the way I crave, I’m taking it. Consequences be damned. Jayson be damned.
I seize control of our kiss. Elizabeth needs to know what I’ve been holding back all these years. What could be hers if she takes the chance, takes that leap with me. So, I lay my heart bare, giving her everything I have in me with this kiss.
I cuff her neck to angle her head, delving deeper into her warm, luscious mouth. She tastes like sunshine, and I’m instantly addicted. I want more, and apparently so does she.
Her little mewling moans are driving me fucking crazy. I stand up with her clinging to me, her mouth ravenous as it licks and kisses along my neck and face. She’s as hungry for me as I am for her. And neither one of us is willing to stop.
Our bodies slam against the wall, pressed so intimately together, you wouldn’t be able to tell where she begins and I end. She grabs at my shirt, ripping at it.
With my weight molding to her soft curves, I shift her higher with one arm, while reaching over my shoulder with my other hand to pull my shirt off. Her light green eyes spark with desire. She releases her grip from around my neck to explore my bare chest. Her hands mold to every inch of my skin, mapping every muscle and dip she finds.
“I’ve always loved looking at you. You’re beautiful, Ryder,” she says in a husky voice.
Her hands feel incredible. She splays her fingers wide over my upper torso and rubs her thumbs across my hardened nipples. My cock jumps and expands painfully behind my zipper, begging to be buried deep inside her.
Elizabeth reaches down and lifts the hem of her shirt, eyes like wicked verdant fire lighting me up, daring me to touch her in return.
A flash of red catches the light, and like flames doused with cold water, my goddamn common sense rears its ugly head and tells me to apply the brakes.
“Elizabeth, we can’t.”
God, that’s so painful to say. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
“What?” she asks, utterly confused.
Because I’m a bastard, I press a kiss to her neck before I release her. God, she smells good. I guide her long legs from my waist and slowly lower them down until she’s able to stand.
“We need to stop.”
“Why?” she asks, that one word filled with the pain of rejection.
I gently tug her shirt back into place and carefully pull out the chain dangling around her neck. I lift it up with a finger and hold Jayson’s promise ring between us, making sure she sees it. The four red rubies mock me, reminding me that Elizabeth is not mine to take.
“This is why.”
She looks down at it and tucks the necklace back under her shirt.
“Ryder, my heart has been as much yours as Jayson’s since the day we met. And I’m done letting everyone make decisions for me. I won’t do it anymore. Jayson keeps making plans for our future. Plans I don’t want.” She rubs her fingertips across her forehead. “How do I know what I want if I’m never given a chance to decide for myself?”
Elizabeth encircles her arms around my waist and rests her cheek against my chest.
“I want you, Ryder. I want to be able to explore what this is between us. I don’t want to live with any more ‘what ifs.’ Watching Marshall try to run you off the track…something snapped inside me. The thought of losing you, of not having you in my life…” She chokes up, not able to continue.
My pulse is hammering so hard it shakes my body. The words my dad said to me come back. He told me that Elizabeth needed to be given time to figure out what she wanted. She needed to be allowed a chance to choose her future.
“What about Jayson?”
“I love Jayson.”
The dreams that were beginning to swirl, scatter at her words.
She brings her lips up to mine and says, “But I love you, too. So much. I need you, Ryder. I need to know our ‘what if.’ Things can’t continue the way they are now.”
“Jayson isn’t going to sit back and allow you to be with me and not him. You know that. And I’m not sneaking behind his or Julien’s backs.”
“I would never do that, and I would never ask you to. Jayson already accused me once tonight of lying to him. I won’t keep this from him. The only thing I need to know right now is, do you want to be with me?”
“God, yes,” I answer without hesitation. Because I can’t resist any longer, I pull her face to mine and kiss her. “I love you, Elizabeth.”
Her breath hitches and tears spring to her eyes. “That’s the first time you have ever said that to me.”
We hold each other for a while, suspended in our own reality, one that not even time can penetrate. Dad comes in an hour later to tell us he’s closing shop. I help Elizabeth into her car, and because my dad is watching, I don’t kiss her good night like I want to. Instead, I press a kiss to her forehead.
“Are you ready for this?” she asks.
I link our pinkies. “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”