Chapter 9 #3
So this is Amity? Way to make a first impression.
I feel my cheeks get hot, but I pull my shoulders back and shake it off.
“Sorry about that, I was just leaving–”
“You are not fucking leaving Legs!” Midas roars from behind me.
I spin around to face him, my finger pointed at his face. “I’m not your woman, old lady, or property.”
“Yeah, well, that tattoo on your wrist declares you property of Ravens, so that means you have to do what the fuck I say. You might be a favorite club girl around here, but you’re not special.”
I feel all the color drain from my face at his words. He might as well have slapped me.
“Hey!” Amity shouts, making me want to die from embarrassment.
“Not cool, Midas, not fucking cool,” G growls as he moves closer to me. I don’t move at all. Even though I want to run, I find myself glued to the spot.
Amity must see how close I am to breaking as she links her arm through mine and tugs me away from G and Midas, who are now having a silent standoff.
“Hey, can you show me to the ladies’ room?”
“Ain’t no ladies’ room–” Amity’s fierce glare cuts off Midas’ voice.
She hurries me toward the clubhouse as I try to keep up.
“I…erm, well, we really don’t have ladies’ rooms. You can use G’s bathroom, though, I’m sure.” I tell her softly.
“Can you show me the way?”
I nod and guide her through the clubhouse. I hear my name being called, but I ignore it.
I try to leave her at G’s door, but she pulls me inside and nudges me to sit on the end of his bed.
She shocks me by getting down on her knees in front of me. I try to hold back my tears, but it’s futile.
A sob rips free, followed by another until I feel my whole body shaking. Amity moves and sits beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, and that just makes me cry harder.
When the crying finally tapers off, Amity gets up and comes back with a handful of toilet paper, offering it to me.
I give her a shaky smile as I wipe my eyes and blow my nose. “I’m so embarrassed,” I admit.
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Midas was being a dick.”
“He’s not wrong, though. He just put me in my place.” I stare down at the raven tattoo on my wrist, which has never felt more like a manacle than it does right now.
“You’re a club bunny?”
I look up warily before nodding, waiting for her to ask me if I’ve slept with G.
She sits beside me again. “You’re a braver woman than I am. I’d have murdered half of them in their sleep.
I laugh, some of the tension easing from my shoulders.
“Just to clear the air, I don’t care if you’ve slept with G as long as he doesn’t sleep with you again until after I leave.
I’m not big on sharing. If he decides to fuck you anyway, it will be him I’m pissed with, not you.
I’m aware you don’t have the option to say no. ” I wince, but I just shake my head.
“It’s not that bad here. The brothers are pretty respectful, as much as bikers can be.
They don’t force us. We can say no and refuse to sleep with certain members if their tastes conflict with our own.
If they like to inflict pain, for example, I’m out.
It’s not for me, but there are girls here who are into it, so it works out well. ”
“This isn’t the first club you…worked for?”
I grin at her curiosity.
“I started at the Chaos Demons’ mother chapter before going to their newer club. Then I came here. I’ve been happier here than anywhere else.”
“So what was today all about? Of course, you don’t have to tell me; it’s none of my business. I’m just not sure I understand the dynamic.”
“That makes two of us, then. Shit, I’m sorry about all this. I’m Legs, by the way. You’re Amity, right? G’s mentioned you. I know he was worried you’d never come back after the shitshow that went down.”
“I wasn’t sure I would, to be honest, but G is somewhat of an enigma. It’s hard to say no to a man that gives puppy dog eyes as well as he gives orgasms with that damn tongue piercing of his.”
I laugh again. “He’s awesome. He’ll mess up because he’s a guy, and that’s what they do, but he really is one of the good ones.”
“I think I’m starting to see that. So you and Midas?”
“Ah, no.” I rub my hand over my face before getting up and throwing the tissue trash.
“I’m a club girl, like I said, but I’ve spent most of my time with Midas for the last year or so.
It wasn’t a conscious thing, at least on my end.
I started working for him at the Pawn shop, which put us in pretty close proximity to each other.
I thought we’d developed a friendship, but a friend wouldn’t have spoken to me like he did. ”
I drift off, remembering that this isn’t the first time he’s been a dick. It’s just the first time I’ve realized how many excuses I’ve made for the man.
“I want more. G already knows this because we talked about it the other night when he told me about you. I want to find a man who doesn’t want to share me with his friends.
I want someone to come home to, someone who will still be beside me when I wake up.
I want someone to love me and only me, and I want kids.
As happy as I’ve been here, there is more to life than what this place has to offer.
As my friend, I thought he’d be happy for me like G is. ”
“But he’s not, clearly. What’s his issue exactly?”
That he can’t or won’t give me those things, but he’s not willing to let me go and find them with someone else.
“He says he doesn’t want me to go. That it’s not safe out there without Raven’s protection, and that this is my home. I told him all the reasons I needed to leave, and he brushed them off like they were nothing.”
“Well, that’s not his decision to make.”
“He seems to think it is, which is why I keep reminding him I’m not an old lady.”
“Maybe he wants you to be one, though. You said you had become friends. Maybe the thought of you leaving has made him face the fact that what he feels for you is more than friendship.”
I shake my head. “No. He has made it perfectly clear that he’ll never go there with me. He doesn’t want a woman his brothers have known intimately.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not a patch chaser. I never became a club girl in hopes of becoming an old lady.
I always knew there would be an expiration date.
There have been brothers over the years I’ve been closer to, and one or two I’d have liked to have pursued something more than a quick and dirty fuck, but I’m not that girl.
They don’t see me as worthy of wearing their patch because I spread my legs for them. ”
“And yet they all get to sleep around, and that’s okay, right? Because men are studs where women are sluts,” she hisses, but I’ve made peace with this.
“It’s the MC way. I’m not saying I agree with it, but I spent a long-time coloring between the lines. I know what’s expected of me and what’s not. I’m just over it all.”
“I think it’s brave. From what I gather from what you said, you don’t really know any other way of life, and for all intents and purposes, these guys are your family.
You’ll be giving all that up in the hope of a happily ever after with a man you’ve never met, knowing there is no guarantee it will last.”
“I don’t feel brave. I’m fucking terrified.”
“But you won’t let the fear stop you, will you?”
I swallow hard. “I can’t. If I stay and give up all the things I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl, it will eat me up. I’ll become bitter and jaded, and for what? So I can bask in the scraps of attention these guys throw my way? I had fun, but now I want more. I deserve more.’
“Then fuck what Midas thinks.”
“I agree.”
I turn when I hear G’s voice. He wastes no time walking over to me and giving me a hug.
“He’s a dick, but I know he regrets it. He’s just not dealing with it well.” G tells me, taking a step back.
“What’s there to deal with G? This really isn’t about him, it’s about me. He can fuck any club girl here. He won’t even notice I’ve gone.
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”