Chapter 22
twenty-two
Lachlan
“ I want to get a whole bunch of strawberries!” Rose exclaims as we’re in my truck on the way to Virginia Beach.
Ainsley twists in her seat so she can see her. “Did you know that your dad and I went to this festival every year when we were kids?”
Rose grins. “You did?”
“We did. It was my favorite thing to go to. I would eat so many berries that I would have the worst stomachache, then they’d make me ride rides and get sick.”
I shake my head. “I think you have that a little backward.”
“I remember it perfectly.”
“You do?”
She nods. “Yup.”
“Well, as I recall, you wouldn’t listen to any of us when we warned you about eating from the containers as we walked. You’d just pick and refill, pretending like no one saw you tossing the tops of the strawberries on the path—which was a crime since you were stealing,” I say with a hint of smugness.
“Please, arrest me.”
“If I could, I would.” I continue telling Rose the rest of the story. “Then we’d walk around the festival, where you’d spend the entire time feeling like shit, and we’d have to skip going to all the fun events because you would cry that your stomach hurt so much and you needed to lie down.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Lies. You and Caspian would keep filling my containers as we walked, and then you made me ride that horrible spinning and twisting ride.” She drops her voice to mirror mine. “‘Come on, Ainsley, all the big kids ride the ride.’”
Okay, maybe we did that once or twice, but only because she was always talking and telling us how we should take her on the rides. At least if she was gnawing on the berries, she was quiet and we could plan how we were going to ditch her.
It wasn’t my finest hour, but I was twelve, so ... I give myself a pass.
“And you kept eating them,” I remind her.
“You were mean and—I say this again —annoying.”
“Yes, and you’re just . . .”
“A delight,” she finishes.
“You keep saying that, and I keep wondering if you know the definition of the word.”
Ainsley sticks her tongue out at me and Rose giggles.
“Daddy, I don’t want to get sick.”
“No, baby, I won’t make you eat them. We’ll make Ainsley eat them again, so she can remember how much she loves strawberries.”
“Or ...” Ainsley draws out the word. “We can make your dad eat them all and see if he gets sick. What do you think?”
Rose taps her lips and I inhale. “Hey! I thought you were on my side?”
She giggles. “How about no one gets sick? And we ride the rides? And we eat the cake and strawberries?”
Both Ainsley and I glance at each other. “That sounds perfect.”
We drive the next two hours, having to make three stops because Ainsley needed a soda, then to pee. The last time was because she thought she left her wallet at the previous stop—she didn’t. Since then Rose has been chattering nonstop to a very attentive Ainsley.
“And then Rickie told Veronica who told Maddy that she didn’t really like me. I liked her, but she was mean to me, so now I don’t like her. But I love Maddy, she’s my friend.” Rose is moving on to her next topic.
“Wow, but maybe, just maybe, Rickie didn’t say that. Did you ask her?”
Rose sighs heavily. “No.”
“I understand that it hurt your feelings, but what if she said she didn’t like roses, not Rose West?”
My daughter seems to ponder that and then shrugs. “I’ll talk to her.”
Ainsley looks to me with a smile. “And you said I was a menace. Ha!”
“You are a menace. Both of you.”
Ainsley and Rose fist-bump.
We head over the bridge-tunnel, which fascinates Rose more than anything. “Are those ships, Daddy?”
“They are.”
“Did you know my daddy and your grandpa were on those ships?” Ainsley asks.
“They were?” Rose’s voice rises. “I didn’t know that!”
Ainsley looks to me for a second, disappointment flashing in her eyes before it’s gone, and she turns back to Rose. “When we were little, we’d get to come on board and see the ship. One time I got to ride on the ship.”
Yes, the tiger cruise, which was literal hell for me. I hate the ocean, and for three days I was trapped on the metal can, floating aimlessly.
Maybe aimlessly is a stretch, but it felt like it to me.
The only bright spot was that Ainsley and Caspian came too. Her father wanted to start a program where navy families were able to see and experience what their sailors did. Since her dad was the Admiral, my father fell in line and was the captain of the ship that piloted the program. Which meant my family had no choice but to go, because we were taught to lead from the front.
We ate in the galley, we worked various jobs with sailors who sure as hell didn’t want to be there, and we drove the ship.
“Daddy, can we tell Grandpa I want to ride on the ship?”
The muscles in my chest constrict at the thought of talking to my father. He calls, sends gifts for Rose, and leaves long-winded messages asking for me to hear him out.
I don’t need to hear anything. He is the reason my mother chose to leave this world. She didn’t have it in her to fight, and it was because he left her long before she got sick.
Which means she left me and Rose.
So, no, I don’t need to listen to any bullshit.
Ainsley cuts in. “You know what? We can ask my daddy. He still has lots of friends here.”
“We’re not going to see the Admiral, just you.”
There’s no way with the surprise that’s coming that we’re going to her father’s house.
She shrugs. “If you’re in town, it would be rude not to stop by. He wants to see you both.”
I clench my jaw because if I don’t, I might ruin the surprise.
Besides, the absolute last thing I want to do is go by our old homes. My father will probably be there, and then I’ll have no choice but to talk to him.
“No, we don’t have time. We need to get to the strawberries before they’re all gone. Maybe you should call him and have him meet us there,” I suggest.
She snorts. “Considering I’m staying there tonight, that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Besides, I indicated we’d be there for dinner.”
“Did you?”
“I want to go see the Admiral,” Rose says, crossing her arms over her chest. “I want to go on the boats.”
“Ships.” We both correct her at the same time and then laugh.
We’re going to talk about all of this later. “Why don’t you tell Ainsley about your teacher,” I suggest, letting it drop for now .
Rose obliges, telling her stories about her friends, her class, and that Briggs is now her friend and he isn’t being stupid anymore.
We enter the town limits of Pungo, and it’s like being torn back in time. Nothing has changed. There are strawberry fields everywhere and people walking around, picking berries and heading to where the festival is.
“Okay, let’s make a plan,” Ainsley says. “I say we do the rides first, then pick, then eat.”
“Absolutely not. We have a short amount of time, and we’re here for the strawberries. If you remember these people line up early and always get the good ones. We need to pick first, for several reasons.”
She purses her lips. “This is a ploy. I can smell it.”
“I promise it’s not.”
It really is. She’s got a big surprise coming in about two minutes.
I follow the line to the lot we’re parking in and lowkey send a text while she’s putting sunscreen on Rose.
We’re here, meet you at the front entrance.
I slide my phone into my pocket, not waiting for a reply, and walk to the front. We’re standing here, Ainsley is holding Rose’s hand, and for a moment I can see what life would be like for the three of us.
Ainsley writing on the back porch, Rose playing outside while I work on the yard. Then we’d eat, put Rose to bed, and I’d make Ainsley very happy at night.
A baritone voice breaks me from my stupid fantasy.
“Excuse me, do you have a barf bag? My sister is prone to puking at these events.”
Ainsley turns around, eyes wide. “Caspian! ”
“Hey, Berry!”
She launches herself into her brother’s arms, and he laughs, taking a few steps back from her assault.
“Easy, you maniac.”
She laughs and then steps back. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see my baby sister and ...” Caspian looks down at Rose, who is bouncing. “I came to see this girl!”
He lifts her up into his arms, hugging her, and she giggles. “I missed you, Uncle Caspian!”
“I missed you more!”
I may not have had any siblings, but I got a brother anyway. He puts her down and we clasp hands and then hug like men do, banging our hands on each other’s backs. “Good to see you, man.”
“You too. I’m glad this worked out.”
“Same.”
Rose and Ainsley are standing there with huge smiles. Ainsley comes back, looping her hands around his arm. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Lachlan thought it would be fun to get you sick again.”
She shakes her head. “I bet he did.”
Caspian chuckles. “It’s been a really long time since we’ve all been together. I didn’t realize just how much I’ve missed it.”
It’s been four years. Four years of me trying to pretend I didn’t have feelings for Ainsley MacKinley. Four years of lying to myself and to everyone else. I lost more than just the girl I cared about. I lost my friend.
“Come on, Uncle Caspian! Let’s go pick strawberries before they’re all gone!” Rose, who appears to be done with this little reunion, exclaims.
There is no one, other than me, who compares to her uncle Caspian. He has been there, a constant in her life since she was born. When her mother decided that motherhood wasn’t in her future, and I was given the choice to take Rose, it was Caspian and Ainsley who were by my side.
My mother and father were supportive. Disappointed at the same time, but proud of the fact that I wanted to step up and raise my daughter.
When I needed to go to the fire academy, Caspian babysat Rose all the time. It definitely didn’t go unnoticed, and the two of them have a special bond.
All of us enter the strawberry patch, and we find a row that doesn’t look too picked over.
“Is this one good, Daddy?” Rose lifts one up.
“It is. You can put that in—” She eats it before I can finish. “Your mouth.”
Ainsley laughs. “Don’t eat a lot, silly. You remember the story about a bellyache?”
Rose drops the new one she picked.
I sigh. “Put them in your basket, Rose.”
Caspian runs over, scooping her up, and she giggles. “Come on, Rosie Posey, let Uncle Cas show you how to do it. I bet we can pick more than Ainsley and your dad.”
“Is that a challenge?” Ainsley asks, always taking the bait. “Because I will kick your butt!”
“We are going to beat you!” Rose taunts.
Ainsley crosses her arms over her chest. “You too? Well, I bet that we can fill our baskets before you can.” Her eyes meet mine, and I’m just a pawn in this MacKinley war, just like it’s always been.
Although usually I’m on Caspian’s side. So this is a slight change.
Ainsley grins. “Three.”
“Two.” It’s Caspian this time.
Rose claps her hands. “One!”
Caspian and Rose rush off, but the spot they picked to start at clearly doesn’t have any. Ainsley and I head over a few rows and start filling our cartons.
“We have to let Rose win,” Ainsley says, and I smile.
“Why?”
“Because you fuckers never let me win, and I know what it feels like to always be defeated. ”
Her statement stuns me. While she says it with a laugh and probably meant it as a joke, I hate that we did that to her.
“We should’ve let you win.”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. I’m just fine. In fact, I’m winning all the time now.”
I take a step toward her, very aware that her brother and my daughter can easily see us, but this is important.
“We were cruel.”
She shrugs. “You were teenage boys and I was ... irritating.”
“Still.”
“Lachlan, seriously, I just meant that sometimes girls need a win and Rose will be happy. It’s a good thing. Please don’t let that offhand comment ruin today. So far it’s been damn near perfect and ...” Her hand rests on my chest, and I wonder whether she can feel it pounding at her nearness. “If we were staying together tonight, you’d so be getting a blow job.”
“Really?”
“A long one,” she says with a grin and then takes a slow bite from the strawberry in her hand.
What I wouldn’t give to be that piece of fruit right now.
“Maybe you should sneak over to my hotel tonight. I can convince Caspian to keep Rose in his room.”
She runs her tongue over her seductive, sweet lips. “Maybe I will.”
Ainsley is like a siren, and I’m going to answer her call, even if it’s the worst idea in the world.