Chapter 29
Korren
I wake up way too early the next morning. Fuck, it’s still the weekend. I had counted on work to give me a reason to leave the house.
My skin is tight and itching again, just like before we had sex, only this time there’s nothing I’m looking forward to that will get rid of the discomfort.
I don’t even know what I was doing yesterday, except that it was nice, and Rowan was right, it was totally gay.
Somehow it was fine until he pointed it out.
Now I’m realizing that everything I have with Dex is fake, and he’s the only person I can rely on in all of Copper Creek.
This is a very dangerous position to put myself in.
I can’t stake my future happiness on what’s basically just a fucked-up game that’s eventually going to come crashing down around us.
I make myself coffee with trembling hands and then raid Dex’s supply of cereal.
That’s another thing I’ve started relying on him for—decent food.
I literally came back from the supermarket with nothing but beans, rice, and cat food, so he’s been supplying every meal we’ve had at home since we got here.
Including paying for that dinner last night.
He hasn’t told me how much money he actually has, but I know he must be running out.
Wrapped in the patched-up down jacket I picked up at the used clothing store, I let myself out onto the porch to eat breakfast. It’s still pretty damn cold even though the sun has been up for hours now, which makes me wonder how I’ll cope with winters here. Especially living alone.
Charcoal comes bounding up to me as I finish off my cereal, and she climbs into my lap so she can rub her face against my chin.
“You’re right,” I murmur, scratching her chin until her eyes are slitted with pleasure. “I won’t be alone if I have you.”
All around, the trees rustle in an icy breeze, and birdsong rings through the forest. I decide a hike in the mountains is exactly what I need today—something physically demanding that doesn’t involve seeing other people.
I head inside to feed Charcoal and pack a few snacks for the trail—Dex’s snacks, once again. I’m about ready to slip out again when I hear his footsteps creaking across the floorboards.
Shit.
My stomach knots itself as Dex comes out of the bedroom, his hair adorably rumpled, his shirt hanging open to expose his muscular frame. I don’t even know what I’m feeling. But I know I have to start pushing back against him before this goes any further.
“Morning,” Dex says. “Did you make coffee?”
“I’m not sure there’s enough left in the pot,” I lie.
“Listen. We need to quit it with the pretending. We’re going along playing house like we’re kids, getting all cozy together, but it’s not right.
The truth is we’re both straight, and I want the cabin to myself. Besides, we hardly know each other.”
The look of pain that flashes across Dex’s face tightens the knot in my stomach. “Why can’t we come up with a different arrangement? I was serious before. I’m perfectly happy having you as a housemate. We don’t have to keep sleeping in the same bed if you don’t want, but I like having company.”
He’s begging me to stay.
That does something to me, something that makes me want to curl up at his feet like a dog and stay here forever where I’m valued and—
No. Fuck this. I need to get myself out of this situation before it destroys me.
“Well, I don’t like company,” I say harshly. “I want you gone.”
“This is because Rowan thinks we’re gay, isn’t it?”
“That’s the biggest lie of all. We’re both acting like we’re in a relationship when we’re not, and it’s fucked up, Dex. I’m done with it.”
“Then do I win the cabin?” Dex asks with a strained attempt at humor.
“No. I need this fucking cabin.”
Before he can see how much I’m hurting, I wrench my gaze from his and stalk to the door. Halfway out, I call over my shoulder, “I’m going for a hike. Don’t expect me back for a while.”
Then I set a brisk pace through the forest in the direction of town, heading for a trailhead I noticed when I was exploring the bike route around Copper Creek.
I’m praying my head will be in a better place by the end of the day. Because I’m starting to come apart around the edges again, and I don’t need Dex to witness any of that fucking mess.