Chapter Eighteen - Thalia
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Thalia
THE SIZE OF Owen’s house matches the size of his ego. I thought our house growing up was plenty big, but this is the definition of a mansion. He went through contract negotiations before last season, and the salary increase was more than enough to cover their upgrade. Once you add in Blake’s career as a biomedical engineer, I’m shocked it’s not bigger.
We’re sitting in one of the living rooms drinking wine I got Blake after one of my many trips to France. Owen is sipping a beer, listening to me tell Blake a story about a prank I pulled on Penelope the other day before she left for France. Zeus is snoozing on the floor at my feet.
“So for all the talk Penelope makes about eating better, if there’s a container of Oreos in the house, they’re gone by the next morning. I’m not sure what it is about them, but she’s addicted.”
Blake tucks her legs underneath her, while balancing her glass. “She lectured me last weekend for getting pasta at lunch instead of a salad. ”
“Exactly! And she’s always complaining about the Oreos being in the house, but I buy them because I like them. There’s no hope in even trying to hide them because she’s like an Oreo bloodhound and can find them anywhere! I even tried hiding them in a box of tampons in my bathroom!”
Owen looks at me in disgust. “In a box of tampons?”
“Dude, it’s not like they were used ones?” I roll my eyes, because my brother is ridiculous. He’s twenty-seven and stuck in the brain of a tween boy.
“You keep those in a box too?” He gapes at me, and now I’m really questioning his intelligence. Blake looks just as horrified when he sits next to her.
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Babe, do you think girls collect used tampons in a box?”
He looks between the two of us, his cheeks turning red. “I don’t want to talk about tampons anymore.”
“I think we should show you a demonstration of how to use a tampon, and maybe you’ll see that the disgusting part is you being disgusted,” I say pointedly, and Blake gasps.
“Oh my god, can we actually?”
“If you love me, you’ll talk about literally anything else, Blake,” Owen practically begs.
“It’s because I love you that I’m doing this so you don’t sound like an idiot in front of anyone else. You have a brain, so why don’t you try using it before speaking?” Blake asks, and I grin widely. I fucking love having her for a sister-in-law. “Hold my glass, I’ll be right back.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I ask as Blake walks out of the room.
“Nothing! You’ve said stupid shit too. ”
I sip my wine, thoroughly amused by the direction today has gone. “In case it wasn’t clear, tampons are wrapped in toilet paper and thrown in the trash can. We don’t save them.”
“Some people do some weird things, you can’t blame me for asking,” Owen tries to defend himself. He’s not wrong about that, though. There are people who do weird things.
“I absolutely can blame you because you not only grew up with a sister who has been having her period since she was thirteen, but you’re also married to someone who has a period every month,” I retort, shaking my head. “I’m revoking your sibling status.”
“Too bad, you’re stuck with me just like I’m stuck with you.”
Blake walks triumphantly into the living room with a tampon in one hand and a clear water bottle in the other. “Ready?”
“I think I’m getting a phone call actually—” Owen tries to protest, but Blake sits in front of the coffee table as I live my absolute best life. This is exactly what I needed today.
“So first you unwrap the tampon, and you place the applicator at the opening of the vagina,” Blake explains, holding up the blue applicator for Owen to see.
“That goes in you?”
“No, it sits in our underwear and magically catches all the blood.” I snort, taking a long drink of my wine.
“Be kind. We’re doing an anatomy lesson for a reason,” Blake scolds me.
Owen shakes his head. “Hang on, I definitely know my way around a vagina so I’m not sure this anatomy lesson is needed. ”
I choose that moment to take a drink of my wine, wanting to not think about my brother and one of my best friends in bed together. I love how happy they make each other, but I don’t need to think about them naked.
Blake’s cheeks flush red, and she glares at Owen. “Then you slowly push the tampon into the vagina, and it becomes a beautiful flower, collecting all the menstrual blood.” She holds the bottle up to Owen, the tampon rapidly expanding in the water. His face pales as he tilts his head to look at it.
“You guys really keep those in you?”
“There are other options with pads, Diva Cups, or you could free bleed, but most people frown upon that one,” I add in, savoring the taste of the wine as my brother’s brown eyes widen.
“God, I’m so glad I’m not a girl,” he mumbles, dragging his hands over his face. “I think you need to show Eric that so he takes extra good care of you during that time of the month. No wonder you guys are so pissy; I wouldn’t want to walk around with that in me,” Owen says, motioning to the water bottle.
“I don’t need a man to take care of me during my period, but I would love to hear if he knows as little as you did prior to this,” I muse out loud. The idea of a man helping with tasks while I’m incapacitated with my monthly friend is nice, but I’ve been dealing with it since I was a teenager.
Owen’s face turns red and he combs his fingers through his blond hair. “Shut up, Lia.”
I stick my tongue out at him. “Shut up, Owen,” I mock, drinking more wine so I can pour a new glass.
“Yeah, we’re not even thinking about having kids until you stop acting like a child, Owen,” Blake says, shaking her head at him. Then she turns to look at me. “You’re childish, too, but I still love you.”
“Hey, what about me?” Owen chimes in, and Blake smiles.
“I’d love you more if you didn’t keep me up at night with your snoring.”
He nods once, seeming to agree with her. “I can’t really help it, but I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom tonight?”
“I love you a little bit more.” Blake beams at him, and I watch as his face melts into one of adoration. That’s how he’s always looked at her. It’s hard not to be jealous of their relationship, especially when part of the reason I’m flying solo tonight is that I needed a break from Eric to spend a night without him. I’m not sure it’s a good sign for our relationship.
“I love you too.”
I pretend to gag, redirecting their attention away from each other. “You guys are so cute it’s going to make me throw up.”
“But you’re with Eric, so there’s no reason to say that,” Blake adds, getting up to sit next to Owen on the couch as he wraps an arm around her shoulders.
I shrug noncommittally, grabbing the bottle to pour more wine in my glass. My movement causes Zeus to pick his head up to nudge my leg with his wet nose. God, I forgot how nice it is having a companion.
“I guess.”
“What does that mean?”
If I’m being totally and completely honest, I’m starting to think that Eric and I might be better off friends. I like being with him, but it doesn’t feel like I know it should. I’m not doing either of us any favors if I pretend to feel things I don’t. You can’t force something that isn’t meant to be.
“I think I’m going to break up with him.” I feel awful saying it, but almost like he can understand English, Zeus licks my hand happily, thumping his tail against the carpet. I’m not sure what beef there is between Zeus and Eric, but Zeus won’t give him the time of day.
“But I thought things were going well?” Blake asks, her eyes widening in surprise. I avoid picking at the hangnail on my thumb, instead threading my fingers through Zeus’s fur.
“They are. I just…it doesn’t feel right.”
Owen’s face softens. “Is that because you’re still hung up on Bash?”
“No, this isn’t about him,” I insist quickly, hoping to make that abundantly clear. “My life doesn’t revolve around Sebastian fucking Walker. I swear, I gave Eric a chance; the sex is good, the emotional stuff is good, but I’m not good.”
“If it really isn’t working, then I vote you should tell him. Honesty is the best route to take,” Blake says, intertwining her fingers with Owen’s.
I wonder if she’d be saying that if she knew Kiera cheated on Sebastian. “I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
“It sounds like you have, though. What does he think about you quitting the wedding?” Blake asks, finally bringing it up. I know she’s been dying to hear what finally was my tipping point, but she’s been resisting from asking. I appreciate it, but I knew her patience couldn’t last forever.
“Eric thought it was a great idea. I never should have agreed in the first place, but he wasn’t upset because that stupid dinner was the whole reason we got back together.”
Owen clears his throat, hesitating as Blake shoots him a look. “Why did you quit? ”
“I didn’t want to be a part of the shit show, nor did I want to contribute any more than I already have.” Vague, but honest. They don’t really want to know the real reason why. Blake is unfortunately friends with Kiera, and Owen and Sebastian are like brothers. I want to stay out of it all completely.
“And Zeus?” Blake asks, and I do feel guilty about that, but not enough to give Zeus back. The texts from Sebastian switched the day after I quit from frantic texts asking what happened to asking for a daily update about Zeus. I’ve obliged, and sent him pictures every day, but he hasn’t asked anything else.
“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. He had Zeus full time for years; it’s my turn. By the way, do you have any edibles?” I change the subject from one extreme to another causing Owen to laugh.
“We haven’t had edibles since college, but nice try. Lia, why won’t you just say what happened between you and Kiera?” Blake says, and it’s tempting to throw Kiera under the bus.
I chew the inside of my cheek, the metallic taste of blood telling me I bit too hard. “I hope Kiera can find someone else.”
Just kidding. I hope her secret comes out, but I won’t be the one telling anyone.
~
Since voicing my thoughts about potentially breaking up with Eric, it’s all I’ve been able to think about. So I called the one person who can always make complete sense of everything .
He picks up on the second ring, and I smile hearing his voice. “Hey, Lia, what’s cracking?”
Sebastian’s relationship, my relationship, my mind because of this secret. Everything is cracking. “My heart because you’re not here, Chris,” I respond playfully. One of the best things that came out of Duke was my unexpected friendship with Chris.
His deep laughter rings through the line, warming my heart. “Always the drama queen.”
“Always. How’s my favorite guy?”
“I’m assuming you’re talking about Henry and not me, but he’s good. All he talks about is going to the beach. He loves the ocean.”
I smile at the thought of the little boy I’m smitten with. “Of course I’m talking about Henry. I can’t stand you. Make sure you teach him about mermaids.”
“I’ll do my best to make sure he knows mermaids are real, but I’d like to remind you that you called me,” Chris teases.
“Oops. My mistake. I was trying to call someone else to tell them about my midlife crisis.”
I imagine that Chris is shaking his head right now because I’m only twenty-six; it doesn’t classify as a midlife crisis yet. “Can’t be a midlife crisis. It’ll have to be a quarter-life crisis unless you’re an impostor pretending to be a lot younger than you actually are.” Exactly.
“You know, you don’t always have to be so literal,” I say sarcastically.
“You’re so full of shit; quit stalling and tell me what’s going on.”
“Can’t I call to just call? ”
He laughs again. “You said you’re having a midlife crisis. So spill—who are we gossiping about? Sebastian or Eric?” Chris feigns a gasp. “Oh god, is it both of them? Honestly, good for you if it is.”
“If I wanted to talk to a teenage girl, I’d call Blake’s little sister. I called you for that great advice you like to hand out occasionally. But first, I wanted to ask how things have been with Allie?”
In the mess of everything going on, I have thought about Chris’s marriage. It makes me wonder if getting married is even worth it someday. I was lucky to grow up with parents who stayed together.
It takes Chris a few moments to respond, and my stomach sinks. I had hoped it would be a better update. “We’ll figure it out.” Its the resign and exhaustion in his voice that tells me things aren’t going the way he wants it to.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly. I mean it.
“It’s okay, Thalia. You’ve got enough of your own problems that you don’t need to be worrying about my marriage.”
I rub my temples. I want to be there for my friends when they need me, regardless of whatever bullshit I have going on in my own life. “It’s what friends do. Just know if you ever need a place to go, we have a spare bedroom here. Plus, Owen has that huge house if you’re willing to put up with the stupidity that comes out of his mouth. You have places you can go if you can’t stay, Chris.” I feel awful saying it, but I want him to know explicitly that he can come here.
He clears his throat, his voice thicker. “Thanks. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, though.”
“I know, buddy. ”
“Just have to have a little faith.” Chris laughs bitterly, and it makes me want to jump a flight to Florida, but with Penelope in France, I have to stay for Zeus and the gallery. “So what’s the root cause of your not-so-midlife crisis?” he asks, circling back around.
“I quit the wedding, and kept my dog,” I blurt out quickly. I still don’t feel guilty for quitting. I don’t think I should feel guilty. I’m not really sure, but he called me earlier today after a week of only asking for updates about Zeus, but I’m avoiding it.
“Congratulations on finally growing a pair, Lewis. I’m proud of you.”
I instantly smile because I’m proud of myself too. “I feel like a real badass. He called me earlier, but I avoided it, and now I’m overthinking about whether I should ignore it or not. Sebastian is probably just calling to ask me to reconsider quitting the wedding.” Chris falls silent, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me nervous. “You still there?”
“Yeah. I was just thinking about the conversation I had with him when I was there. Are you sure that he’s calling about the wedding?” Chris asks carefully, and now I’m confused. Chris never said anything about having a conversation with Sebastian.
“What other reason would he have for calling me?”
“I thought maybe I got through his thick skull,” he answers vaguely, and my brain spirals further at the possibility of what that could mean. “But regardless of what Bash is doing, I really am proud of you for standing up for yourself. Do you want to call him back?”
“I don’t know. It’s so complicated, Chris.”
“Is it really, or are you making things harder than they need to be?” he asks annoyingly, but I can’t blame him for it. I do have a history of making things with Sebastian harder on myself.
Unfortunately, it is that complicated this time.
“For once, I’m not making things harder than they need to be. I’m going to break up with Eric.”
It feels like the right thing to do. Regardless of how things play out with Sebastian, I want to give myself the chance to find that kind of all-consuming love, even if it takes the rest of my life. Unfortunately, that’s not Eric.
“God, who are you and where is my Lia?” he teases, and my laughter comes easily.
“She’s growing up.”