Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN_
JAMIE
While waking up next to Angel every day for six weeks, I’ve been waiting for the novelty of it to wear off. It hasn’t. I’m not sure it will.
Some days, like today—the very last day of the Eleven tour—I stare at her, at her soft lips, her golden skin, and the annoying voice that’s been invading my brain lately appears once again: she’s way out of my league.
This doubt only recently started, and I’ve been trying to ignore the intrusive thoughts, but they’re only getting louder and louder the closer we come to the end of her contract with Eleven.
I’m used to being insecure in relationships—okay, my last relationship—but that had more to do with the way I was treated.
Raffy made me doubt myself. Angel has done nothing but treat me like an equal, with respect, and she lets me do my job while she concentrates on her own.
I didn’t realize I had the idea of a perfect person for me, but I do, and she’s it.
I think that’s why I’m suddenly insecure.
I’m in serious trouble of getting in too deep, which means I could be heartbroken, or worse, I could end up hating her like I hate my ex.
Angel’s just so freaking beautiful, and it’s impossible to fathom someone who looks like her, is as fearless as she is, and is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met could be interested in me.
And that’s not even a low self-esteem thing.
I might have insecurities like most people, but deep down, I know I’m fucking awesome. Angel’s just awesome-er.
“You’re doing it again, weirdo.” Angel’s dark brown eyes flutter open.
I swear her sniper background gives her a sixth sense when it comes to being watched.
“I can’t help it. I’m creepy, what can I say?” Creepy is better than explaining that I think she’s too good for me, right? It’s better than saying, I’m in way over my head with you, and I want to hold you close and never let you go after only knowing you for six weeks.
“Don’t you have boy band members to wrangle?
Last show and all that.” Angel buries her head under her pillow to block out the daylight, but all she’s done is remind me that after tonight, we won’t have this forced proximity to each other.
No obligation. Not that she’s had to spend every night with me, but maybe she’s been doing it to keep the peace. No messy breakup.
What’s to stop her from walking away and saying thanks for the fling? When we started fooling around, she said she wants more, but … what if she’s changed her mind?
And why am I so fucking torn up over it?
When I don’t answer her question about wrangling a boy band, she lifts the pillow off her face. “What are you thinking about?”
She must be able to sense it—my doubt. Or know that I’m too in my head to answer her simple question about work.
Abort, abort! Deflect, deflect! “I’m wondering if we have time to get off before I have to do said wrangling of boy banders.”
“Mmm” is all she says, but I feel the heat of her stare on me. That assessing gaze. “That sounds like a lie, but if you want to try to distract me with sex, I’m not going to say no. I won’t forget about it, though, so you’ll have to tell me eventually.” She rolls to face me.
“Eventually works.” Or never.
Maybe I can drag out the sex until I have to leave and then be super busy all day so we don’t get a chance to talk. I could totally hold out.
As if reading my mind, Angel gives me an evil smile, and when she shifts so she’s on top of me, kissing her way over my neck and moving down, I realize there’s no way I could hold out.
Not with her. She pulls down the front of my tank top to expose my breasts and teases a nipple with her tongue.
Angel has worked out exactly how to drive me crazy and get me going and how to do it in the least amount of time.
I’m desperate before she even reaches my stomach, still tasting my skin with her tongue and now using her hand to palm my breast.
Come on, Jamie. Hold out, hold out, hold out.
Angel pulls down my sleep shorts and lifts my feet to slide them all the way off.
Instead of putting both feet back down, she shifts so one of my legs goes over her shoulder.
My breath catches when she lowers her head.
The second her mouth closes over my clit, I know it’ll be over all too soon, and then I’m going to have to tell her the truth.
I’m falling for her.
Angel’s on a mission to break me, and she’s going to break me as fast as possible.
Maybe this is the real reason I don’t want things to change now that the tour is ending. She’s the only person I’ve ever been with who can get me so close to coming within a minute of feeling her touch. Her mouth on me.
One finger slips inside me, and another follows a few seconds later. She sucks on my clit, sending sparks through my entire body.
She doesn’t slow down, she doesn’t take it easy, and while our sex life has been more than eye-opening and a fun exploration for me, this is a whole new level.
I let out a string of curses as I contract around her fingers, and she pushes me over the edge. I swallow my moans, my gasps, and try not to let her see how ruined I am because of her.
It doesn’t work. “Fuck,” I cry out and slump back against my pillow. “You don’t play fair.”
She kisses her way back up my stomach and rests her chin just above my belly button. “So, what were you thinking about?”
I sigh and run my hand over her cropped hair. “I … I guess I’m overthinking what happens tomorrow.”
Angel lifts up completely now. “Tomorrow? You get a fucking day off. Finally.”
“Are you forgetting I live with Harley? Unless I find a place to hide out or move into, I’ll be at his beck and call.”
It’s subtle, but I feel it when her whole body goes rigid on top of me. “Is this your way of asking to move in with me?”
Shit. It did sound that way. Or at least hinting at letting me stay with her. “What? No. No, no, no. I just realize how that sounded. Moving in is—”
“Too soon.”
I nod. “Agree. Way too soon. But … I mean, I do want us to continue to see each other.”
“Is that what you’re worried about? That I’ll ghost you as soon as you’re no longer my duty?”
“Well, not … worried, but it might have crossed my mind. If we could maybe have a few days where I’m free of Harley, where I could stay over at yours because I don’t have a new apartment yet … but I’m not asking for more than that. I know you’re hesitant about getting serious.”
“I’m not hesitant! I’m … cautious.”
“Is there a difference?”
“Yes. There is. And to prove it, not only can you come stay with me for a few days, I’ll even give you a week.”
The sigh that leaves me is heavy with relief, though I’m not sure it should be if Angel’s only offering this to prove me wrong. Eh, that can be one-week-from-now Jamie’s problem. I just bought myself at least seven more days of Angel.