CHAPTER FIFTEEN
It was easier said than done to keep control of his feelings, and Jude should have been glad for a break from the estate and the possibility of running into Angela. Except he was surrounded by things that made him see his own life in stark contrast.
He looked around the cozy space, taking in all the little things that made it a home for his best friend, Cooper, his wife Melanie, and their kids.
The framed pictures on the walls and the mantle over the fireplace. The lamps on the end tables. The knitted blankets draped over the back of the couch and the arm of the overstuffed glider. The plants in front of the window.
So many things that this home had that his didn’t. He had only one picture in his whole house, and it had been taken shortly before his dad had passed away. They’d been standing side by side, smiles on their faces.
Neither of them were big smilers, but they had gone fishing and managed to catch exactly nothing. Still, it had been the best day of his life because they’d spent time talking and laughing in ways they didn’t when they were tied up with work.
But that day, his dad had banned all talk of work. It had meant that for the first hour or so, silence had been more prominent than conversation. Soon enough, however, conversation had begun to flow.
His dad had shared memories of growing up, and the times he’d spent with his dad and older brother out fishing or hunting. His dad—Jude’s grandfather—had passed away from cancer shortly before his own dad’s heart attack. His grandmother had passed when his dad had been a teen.
So, like Jude, he had been raised by just his dad.
By the time they had returned to shore that day, their cooler empty of the sandwiches and drinks they’d filled it with, Jude had smiled more in those hours on the boat than he had in ages.
It seemed that his dad had cherished the time as well because he’d convinced Jude to set up his phone to take a picture of them together. Though he’d grumbled about it at the time, he was glad he’d done it.
Not long after that, his dad had passed away. The hole he’d left behind was a constant reminder to Jude of his dad’s absence, but the memories of that day had sustained him. And he liked to think that his dad would be proud of the man he’d become.
“Did you shoot anyone this week, Uncle Jude?”
Jude smiled down at the eight-year-old boy as he shook his head. “Not this week.”
“Dad didn’t shoot anyone this week either.”
“That’s good,” Jude told him. “Just the way we like it.”
Alex held up his hand, showing Jude what he held. “I made that yesterday.”
Jude took the Lego figure and turned it over in his hand. “You did a great job, buddy.”
“I didn’t even need help.” The boy grinned. “Right, Dad?”
Cooper Sullivan walked in carrying his five-year-old daughter. Chloe gave Jude a wide smile and a little wave.
Both children had light caramel-colored skin, a perfect blend of their parents’ skin tones. Cooper had lightly tanned skin, and his blond hair was cut short into a crew cut. The kids had loose dark brown curls, and their eyes were a light grey.
“That’s right,” Cooper said as he set Chloe down. “You did it all by yourself.”
“Good job,” Jude said as he handed the figure back to the little boy.
“Let’s head out onto the back deck,” Cooper said with a tilt of his head. “I’ve got to keep an eye on the steaks.”
Jude followed him through the kitchen, where Melanie was prepping some food. She handed Cooper a tray with steaks on it, then told the kids to put on their winter clothes if they wanted to play outside.
The back porch was screened in, so it was still chilly, but Cooper had no problem barbecuing even in the middle of winter.
Jude shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat, watching as steam billowed from the barbecue when Cooper opened the lid. He quickly slapped the steaks onto the grill and closed it.
The back door swung open, and the kids came barreling out. They headed down the steps, then followed a path in the snow to the play structure Jude had helped Cooper assemble the previous summer.
“So how’s work?” Cooper asked as he leaned against the railing of the porch.
Jude shifted his weight, his breath forming small clouds in the cold air. "Busy. Duncan's daughter is back."
Cooper's eyebrows shot up. "The one who was kidnapped?"
Jude and Cooper had connected several years earlier when they’d both volunteered to work security at a church Christmas event.
Jude hadn’t been super involved at the church, but every once in a while, they had need of his particular set of skills.
Usually at Christmas and Easter and once during the summer when they had large events open to the public.
He and Cooper had hit it off, and over time, he’d revealed bits and pieces of his life and his job, knowing he could trust the man. Cooper and Melanie had become close friends. The only ones Jude had allowed into his life.
"Yeah. Angela." Jude kept his voice neutral, but something in his tone must have caught Cooper's attention because his friend studied him more closely.
"That's got to be intense for everyone involved," Cooper said carefully. "How's she adjusting?"
"Better than expected, I think. It’s overwhelming for her, but she seems resilient." Jude watched Alex push Chloe on the swing, the chains creaking in the cold air. "She and her sister both."
"Sister?"
"The people who abducted her had adopted another girl too. Angela considers her a sister." Jude paused, then added, "Duncan's treating her like family too."
Cooper nodded thoughtfully. "That's good of him. Must be hard for all of them, figuring out how to be a family after all this time."
"It is." Jude watched the kids as they tossed snow at each other. "Duncan's asked me to handle her security."
"Makes sense. You're the best he's got." Cooper glanced at the grill, then back at Jude. "How's that going?"
The question seemed casual, but Jude knew Cooper well enough to recognize the underlying curiosity.
“Pretty well,” Jude said, not sure yet if he wanted to share the struggle he was having with his emotions. Cooper might be his best friend, but Jude still kept things pretty close to his chest. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been so involved in hands-on security training.”
“Are you out of shape?” Cooper asked. “Getting your butt kicked?”
Jude gave a huff of laughter. “No. I’m not out of shape, though Annie manages to drop me occasionally.”
“So you’ve had to get out from behind your desk,” Cooper said. “And you’re struggling?”
“Not struggling,” Jude told him. “It’s just that my days look different now.”
Cooper took a minute to flip the steaks. “Is it weird to have someone around who looks like Annie, but isn’t her?”
“Not really,” Jude said. “Though they are biologically identical, it’s not hard to tell them apart. Their hairstyles are different, and their personalities are not the same, which shows up in their mannerisms and such. None of us would ever mix them up.”
Jude gave Cooper some details about Jim and Craig. Duncan had contacted someone in the Serenity Point Police Department so that they were aware of what was going on. However, their main interactions with law enforcement had been with the FBI.
All talk of work ceased, however, when they sat down to eat. It was a noisy, somewhat chaotic meal, with the two kids eager to talk about whatever they deemed important in their world.
Jude soaked it all in, having long accepted that something like this would never be his. The homey environment. The cozy warmth of the home. The chatter of children. The home-cooked meal. The love and affection that flowed between Cooper and Melanie.
In the past, he’d appreciated stepping into their home and being part of their small family for a short period of time. But that day, being there made him wonder what his life might have looked like if he had opened himself up to having a family.
Early in their acquaintance, Melanie had tried to set Jude up with people she knew. Cooper’s sister. Melanie’s older sister. A cousin. A friend from church.
Rather than waste his—and their—time, he’d told Melanie he wasn’t interested in blind dates. She’d still tried sporadically since then to set him up, but he’d politely declined.
“I have someone who wants to go on a date with you,” Melanie said as she passed him a basket of fresh dinner rolls. “She’s sure that you’re her soulmate.”
Jude lifted his brows. “Say what?”
“She thinks you’re her soulmate,” Melanie said with a grin.
“Even if I believed in soulmates, it seems a bit weird that someone who hasn’t even had a conversation with me thinks that is what I am to her.”
Melanie laughed. “She spotted you at church, and when she saw you talking to me, she figured that getting close to me would mean she could get close to you.”
“As a cop who has seen stalker situations, I’d recommend that this be a stern no from you, Jude.”
“Even if she weren’t delusional, I would have given a stern no.”
The idea of dating her twisted his stomach, for some reason. Yeah… for some reason. He knew the reason, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“I told her that you were unavailable,” Melanie said. “Just be aware and maybe don’t make eye contact with her.”
“You’re going to have to show me her picture so I know who she is.”
“I honestly don’t think she’s harmful,” Melanie said as she brought up a social media account with a picture. “She’s actually very sweet.”
The woman in the photo was attractive enough—blonde, mid-thirties, with a bright smile—but Jude felt nothing as he looked at her image. No spark of interest. No curiosity.
"Thanks for the warning," he said, handing the phone back to Melanie.
"You know," Melanie said, studying him with that perceptive gaze he sometimes found uncomfortable. "You used to at least consider these setups. Lately, you’ve just shut them down immediately."
Jude reached for his water glass. "I'm just busy with work."