Chapter Forty
Raffe
Jenny wanders aimlessly around the farm. She stops at the chicken coop and places her finger over a ladybug Jackson painted with his finger long ago. The colors are faded, but her smile is brighter than I’ve ever seen it.
“My girl is happy,” Miss Maggie says, settling in the chair beside me.
I sit forward. “Miss Maggie, I’d like to ask if I could have permission to date your daughter.”
“Oh, now you ask,” the old woman chuckles.
“Better late than never,” I tease. “Do you really think she looks happy?” I wish I was as confident as she is.
“I do.” Maggie shields her eyes from the sun, watching her daughter kneel down to study a patch of weeds. “Do you remember how curious she used to be? Always bringing home some plant or weed she’d found on one of your adventures. She’d spend hours after you dropped her off looking them up.”
“Or rocks.” I lean back in my chair, relaxing. “She was always looking up rocks.”
“And bugs,” Maggie chuckles. She wags a finger in her daughter’s direction. “We just need to keep nurturing that side of her.”
Aspen runs over to Jenny, holding the bottom of her shirt in her hands. I’m sure it’s filled with things to show her. Jenny immediately sits on the grass, and Aspen settles on her lap. Together they go through each item, holding it to the light like it’s the best thing they’ve ever seen.
“Oh my god, is that a snake?” Maggie asks, gripping her chest.
A laugh bursts out of my mouth, and Jenny and Aspen both look our direction.
Jenny smiles as Aspen holds a little garden snake up high for us to see. Jenny whispers to her, and an ornery grin pulls at the corners of my granddaughter’s mouth. She jumps to her feet giggling and starts to run toward us.
Maggie begins to protest loudly, and both Aspen and Jenny’s smiles widen.
Jackson whistles, halting the little turd in her tracks. “Don’t you dare be chasin’ your grandma with that thing.”
Her head falls, but she’s still grinning.
She walks back to Jenny, both of them hardly containing their amusement.
Aspen backs herself up and drops onto Jenny’s lap like she’s done it a hundred times.
The sun cuts through the trees, and both of them squint against the light. It’s enough to take my breath away.
“Those two are going to be trouble,” Maggie complains, but the tears in her eyes tell a different story. She’s happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen her.
“Well, I wonder where they get it from?”
Maggie waves a hand in front of her face, blushing. “Oh, they do not get it from me.”
My phone rings, and I pull it to my ear. “Hello.”
“I told that woman of yours to be here at two,” Dan grumbles, forgetting pleasantries.
I look at my watch. “Oh, yeah, shit. We lost track of time.”
“Get your asses moving then.”
“Oh my god,” I whine. “I hate rushing. Don’t rush me.”
“Then pay attention to the damn time!”
“Alright. Alright.”
When I hang up, Maggie gives me the side-eye. “You’re stalling. I’ve seen you check your watch at least a hundred times today, and we both know Jenny has absolutely no concept of time.”
“I’m worried that the warehouse isn’t the right place for her to stay. You yourself said she seems happy here.”
“I said she is happy. Not seems.”
“Okay, well, what if she isn’t happy at the warehouse?”
“Then we find somewhere where she is. Raffe, sometimes you just have to make a decision and go with it. After sleeping on it last night, I think this is what’s best. I want Jenny to spend as much time here as she can, but she needs more.
She needs a life of her own. I’m afraid if she stays here, she’ll never leave. ”
Jackson looks at his phone, his mom, me, and then his phone again. He types as he walks toward us. I don’t know how he manages not to trip on any animals or toys in the yard. “Dan says you and Mom are supposed to be at the warehouse. Lily is waiting for her.”
Maggie chuckles.
“Yeah, I know. She’s just having such a good time here.”
“Bring her back tomorrow. Just because you guys live at the warehouse doesn’t mean you can’t come over anytime you want. You know that. You’re here every fucking day.”
“Okay. You’re right.” I slap my hands down on my knees. “I’ll go talk to her.”
Aspen is already on to something else by the time I approach Jenny. She laughs. “That was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Did you see my mom’s face when Aspen started running toward her?”
I shove my hands in my pockets and smile. This is my Jenny. The girl who is full of life and spunk.
“I was sitting too close to her to laugh, but it was kind of funny.”
She begins to meander around the yard again, so I follow. When she pauses to smell Willow’s roses, I take the opportunity to bring up the time.
I scratch my head. “So, it’s after two, and Dan is chomping at the bit for us to get over to the warehouse.”
Jenny straightens. “Oh, we should probably get going then. I don’t want to keep them waiting.”
“I’m sorry. It’s my fault we’re late.”
She reaches out and touches the side of my face. “I’ll be okay, Raffe. You’ll be with me every step of the way.”
“I will.” I place my hand over hers, enjoying the warmth of her touch. It’s one of the things I’ve missed most about not being in a relationship.
“Just let me say goodbye quick, and then I’ll be ready.”
She hurries around, saying goodbye to everyone, even stopping to give a few chickens a pat on the head.
Willow steps up beside me. “Here are her things.” She hands me a bag.
I peek inside, finding her apron and a wind chime.
It breaks my fucking heart.
Jenny and Jackson join us beside my truck.
“Go on. Ask her,” Jackson says, amusement lighting his face.
“Ask me what?” Willow says, giving him the stink eye.
Jenny shakes her hands out in front of her. “Would … would it be okay if Garfield lives here? It’s just that he’s used to nature, and Aspen’s already fallen in love with him.”
“Yes!” She claps excitedly. “I’ll never turn down an animal.”
“Unfortunately, she’s not lying,” Jackson says, rolling his eyes. “I told you she wouldn’t say no.”
Jenny’s shoulders fall in relief. She looks back at her orange cat. He’s sharpening his nails on a tree while Aspen studies a patch of mushrooms growing on it. “Thank you. I know he’s going to love it here.”
“I’ll meet you guys over there,” Jackson says.
“Oh, you don’t have to …” Jenny begins to say.
He places his hand over her mouth. “I’m the president of the club. When someone new moves in, I like to be there. Plus, you’re my mom. I want to show you around.”
She blushes, and tears pool in the bottom of her eyes. “Okay, we’ll see you there,” she says, and then she turns to me.
This is harder on her than she thought it would be. She’s silently asking for help. I place my hand at the small of her back and gently push her toward the truck, helping her inside.
When I get in beside her, we both wave to Maggie, Willow, and Aspen one last time. “Ready?”
“Not really.” She laughs sadly. “But the fact I know Lily is there waiting for me helps. Dan said she’s going through a bit of a rough patch. I hope I can help in some way.”
“I’m sure just seeing you will be a relief to her. It was for me.”
A flash of regret pulls at her features, but it passes quickly as she stares out the window. “It’s so pretty here. Dan showed me around the downtown area last night. It was a good time to go. The streets were quiet.”
“It’s not always quiet at the warehouse,” I tell her. “So remember you have your room, or there are some nice walking trails out back in the forest.”
I point out Billie Rose’s cabin as we pass. “Petey and Katie live a little ways down, but you can’t see their cabin from here.”
When the warehouse comes into view, she scoots to the edge of her seat, her eyes wide. “I’ve always wanted to see this place.”
“Dammit. Everyone knew you were coming today. I don’t know why there are so many people here. I asked them to give you some space.”
She giggles, looking at all the activity. JD has his damn smoker going, there’s at least ten guys working in the shop, and Dan is standing at the front door with his arms crossed over his chest.
“He looks pissed we’re late,” she says, but she doesn’t look worried about it.
“Yeah, he is.” I reach over and tap her knee. “You don’t seem as overwhelmed by all of this as I thought you would.”
“It’s just like I pictured it,” she says, her gaze following a couple of guys pulling out with their old ladies on the back of their bikes.
Dan starts toward us when he sees we’re not getting out of the truck.
“He’s perfect for Lily, isn’t he?” She watches him storm across the lot, not the least bit intimidated by his glowering form as it approaches.
“He waited a long time for the right girl to come around.”
I hop out of my truck to head him off. “It’s my fault,” I tell him as I round the truck to open Jenny’s door.
“I know it is.” He pushes around me and places his arm across Jenny’s shoulders. “Remind me to buy you a watch,” he says, guiding her toward the front of the building.
She laughs, not taking offense. I also like that she doesn’t blame me, even though we all know it is my fault. But it’s nice to know she has my back.
He keeps her laughing all the way to and through the front door. It doesn’t leave her any time to back out.
The minute we step inside, her mouth falls open. Dan brings them to a stop, letting her take a minute to soak in the warehouse. It’s hard to explain, but the warehouse is the heart of the club. This is where we all come together.
She spins in a slow circle, swiping tears from her face.
When her gaze stops on the bar, she rushes over to it and runs her hand over the smooth polished wood.
Her eyes trail over the bottles on the shelf, pausing on the ashtray that still holds the cigar Bill smoked on before going to pick Billie Rose up from her school dance.
“It’s one of many little memorials you’ll find around here,” I tell her, hugging her from behind.
“He made this,” she says, her voice cracking.
Dan and I both laugh. “I’m not surprised he told you about it. He told everyone who walked through those doors he built this bar.”
She bites her lip and takes a step back. “Bill made all of this so familiar for me.”
Jesse and Dirk walk in the door along with Jackson. Their conversation stops, and Jackson rushes forward. “Are you okay?” He tosses Dan and me with an accusatory glance.
“Oh, Jackson, this is just so wonderful. I know I keep saying this, but it’s exactly as Bill described.”
Jesse looks at me. She hears it too. Jenny loved Bill. I wait for the jealousy to rise, but it doesn’t. He was the first good man she’d been around since we were trafficked. I can’t blame her for loving him. Fuck, I loved Bill.
Suddenly, Lily appears from the balcony. The two women stare at each other for a long moment before Jenny is running up the stairs two at a time. She stops a few feet away, and again they just take each other in.
“Oh my god,” Jenny cries. Then she drops to her knees in front of Lily and wraps her arms around her waist. “You’re pregnant.”
Jesse slaps me in the chest. “What the fuck did she just say?”
“How did she know?” I whisper. I mean, I knew, but only because Dan confided in me one night when we were drinking together.
This shows me just how close the two women were.
Dan turns to the group. “I guess the cat’s out of the bag. Um,” he scratches his head, “yeah, so, Lily and I are having a baby.”
Dirk whistles low. “Hoe-lee fuck.”
“We were going to announce it this weekend.”
“That’s … a lot,” Jesse says quietly. “How are neither of you freaking out?”
“We have been, but we’re slowly coming around to the idea. I mean, we always wanted more kids. It just didn’t happen, you know?”
“Until now,” Jesse jokes, a bubble of laughter coming out of her. She covers her mouth. “I’m sorry. I just … oh my god, a baby?”
He nods.
She walks over and hugs him. “This kid is going to be the luckiest. You’ve got this. You’re an old pro at this parenting stuff.”
He taps the end of her nose. “Stop. I may be old, but at least I’m not a grandpa yet.”
“Hey, I’m a grandpa,” I say.
“Me too,” Dirk tells him.
Jackson laughs. “You’re all fucking old. This is great. Finally I know something before Elijah does.”
Soft cries float over our heads, and we all look up. Jenny and Lily have fallen to the ground in an embrace.
“Lily’s been having a hard time with this, so I’d appreciate it if you all could give her as much encouragement as you can.” He looks away from the pair. “And I want her resting as much as possible. Doc says she’s healthy, but I know the risks at her age.”
Jackson walks over and shakes his hand. “Looks like we’re going to get to be new daddies together. Congratulations, brother.” He pulls him in for a hug, patting him on the back. “When’s she due?”
“December,” Dan answers, wiping his eyes. “I’ve been so fucking stressed.”
“You’ve got the club, brother. You’ll all be fine,” Jackson assures him.
I’m proud of my son. He knows how to comfort his friends and family.
My gaze goes back to the two women still hugging.
There’s a part of me that’s still angry at Rachel for keeping all of us apart, but maybe this is how it was supposed to be. It doesn’t matter now, because this is how it is, and it feels pretty darn good.