Chapter 33 Grace
GRACE
Strawberry Springs Neighborhood Watch
Jade Clark: Hypothetically, is it illegal to drive around the square forever?
Comments:
Marjorie Brown: Like in circles?
Tammy Jane: Technically, it would be in a square.
SherriffMike Finch: Jade, don’t.
Jade Clark: I said hypothetically! It’s not like I’m trying to set a record or anything . . .
Dean left the next morning.
He said that he needed to meet with someone back in the city. I had no idea if he meant Nashville or Knoxville.
I didn’t like the idea of either one. I didn’t like him being gone at all.
When April had flirted with him, it reminded me of all the other women he must have talked to before and during his time with me.
How some of them may have even been after we’d met.
He wasn’t tied to me even though we were a team and I’d been going back and forth on what to do ever since that fateful night after I’d been sick.
He’d seemed so out of it when I mentioned that she was cute, and I knew that he’d been thinking of her.
So, I made my decision.
And I fucking regretted it.
The idea of him doing the things he’d done with me to anyone else made me feel ill. But I had no influence over him. I couldn’t tell him not to see anyone else, and I knew that we weren’t together. We would never be together.
That had been what he’d told me.
Why was I having such a hard time accepting that? People didn’t change. They didn’t get happily ever afters. I was under the impression that he would only ever see me as a woman he’d been with.
I had no right to be jealous, but I was.
I wallowed in it for two days. But the final straw came in the form of a familiar face walking in the shop.
After only meeting his mom once, I’d hoped I made a good first impression. But then we had our phone call, and had been texting ever since. So when she ran up to hug me, I nearly started crying. I only barely held it together.
“Hello,” she said with a smile. “It’s so good to see you. How do you feel?”
“I’m . . .” Losing my mind? No, not a good answer. “Mostly okay. There’s a lot going on . . . obviously.”
“No kidding. But look at you. I didn’t know you were showing yet!”
“I feel huge,” I said. “It’s a bit of a habit to try and hide it, even though everyone knows.”
“Don’t worry about hiding a thing. You look beautiful.”
“What did you come into town for?”
“After you sent me those ultrasound pictures, I just wanted to see you. It gets a little lonely living all by myself.” I could relate. The house had been eerily silent ever since Dean left. “How did the most recent ultrasound go?”
“It went great.” With the baby, at least. I didn’t want to think about him not talking to even his mom. “Everything’s normal, though the baby is a bit big.”
“That can happen with PCOS. At least you passed your glucose test.”
I blew out a breath. “Did he not tell you that I failed the first one?”
Her eyes widened. “No, he didn’t. I almost wish I lived near him so I could easily track him down and get all this information from him.”
“He was more worried about making sure that I wasn’t losing my mind. That was terrifying, but everything was okay in the end.”
“I’m so glad to hear that.” She pulled me into another hug. “I do have an ulterior motive for being here. None of the pictures said if it was a boy or a girl. Did you mean for that to happen?”
I shook my head. “We still don’t know, actually. Crossed legs.”
“Dean did that to me. We didn’t know until he popped out!” She laughed. “The mystery was kinda fun.”
“That does seem fun,” I replied as I thought about it. “How did you decorate his nursery?”
“A lot of gender-neutral things. We went with yellows and grays, things like that. Yellow wound up being his favorite color for a while.”
I hummed. Now that that room was free again, the idea of making it a nursery was back on my mind. If Dean was busy with another woman, then I might get started on making it for the baby.
“Have you not started on the baby’s room yet?” she asked.
A sinking feeling pulled me out of my thoughts. I’d been putting this off for a while. “Oh, um. I’m getting to it.”
Virginia’s eyes narrowed, and it felt like she was reading me.
“And also, Dean stays in that room.” If he ever came back to stay.
“Is it a two-bedroom house?”
I winced. “Three. One is reserved for my sister, unfortunately, so that one’s not available.”
“I see. He can always sleep on the couch or something. The baby needs a room.”
“I’m sure he’d do it too, but I have a feeling his time staying here is done. He’s back in the city busy with something.”
“Oh.” She frowned. “I was hoping to see him.”
“Maybe he needs a break from me.”
“It might just be the town. He’s not a fan of close-knit communities like this.”
“I’ve gathered that. Though I don’t know why. People can be annoying here, but it’s not all bad.”
“Some of them can be more judgmental than helpful. Unfortunately, Shady Acres grew that way over time. I think he’s a little scarred. He’ll be back when he’s feeling better.”
“Or he’ll be back when he’s done with his flavor of the week.” I muttered it, and I instantly felt some of the bitterness I’d been fighting creeping up on me. Virginia’s eyebrows raised, and I turned to her with wide eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Are you—”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I said. And especially not with his mom of all people. “Dean’s been clear, and he’s been great with helping with pregnancy stuff.”
“But if there is something he’s doing, tell me.”
It was tempting to. I hadn’t had a mother figure in so long. And I hadn’t talked with any of my friends in town about most of this. But this was his mom. She would be on Dean’s side.
But I did need to vent. And I had a whole group of women who offered to be there for me.
It was time to take them up on that.
“What if I show you the new collection of sundresses that I got instead? That might make us both feel better.”
“You drive a hard bargain, but I’ll let you get away with it this once.”
“Finally, a girl meeting,” Mollie said as she sat. “I’ve been meaning to get coffee from here since forever.”
I bit my lip as I followed. I’d texted them all, asking to meet up. I didn’t immediately mention Dean in case he reached out and I realized I was simply in my own head. But the silence for two days? I was sure I was losing my mind.
It helped that Virginia was now staying in the guest room. She’d offered to get a hotel since she came into town as a surprise, but I refused to let her do that. At least my house wasn’t silent again.
“Seriously,” Jade added. “We should do this weekly or something. Oh! Or we could do one of those clubs at the library.”
“Yes,” Wren said. “I wanna try the crochet one that’s tomorrow.”
“You wanna learn how to crochet?” Mollie asked.
“I’d like to do something with my hands that I don’t have to beat up my body for,” she replied.
“Grace,” Jade said gently. “Does that sound fun?”
“Um, yeah.” I nodded. “Really fun.”
Jade narrowed her eyes. “Okay, spill. Something’s wrong.”
“Oh, is this one of those girl meetups?” Mollie asked. “Is everything okay?”
“Did Dean do something?” Wren asked.
“Dean hasn’t done anything. Not even reach out.”
“I’ll kill him,” Jade said immediately. “No matter how much he’s done for you.”
“I think I did something,” I said. “I tried to set him up with someone that was flirting with him.” All three women stared at me like I was growing a second head. “So, bad move?”
“Honestly, yeah, considering I’m pretty sure you have feelings for him.” I loved my best friend. Except when she called me out and was right about it.
“I’m trying to be cool. I do like him, but we’re not together. And he turned down this one really nice girl just because he’s with me. I don’t have to like it but . . . he doesn’t have to give anything up for me.”
“And what did he do?” Wren asked slowly.
“I don’t know. He got quiet, he left, and then hasn’t reached out. Hell, he might be with her now.”
“Where was this?”
“Knoxville,” I replied.
Her lips pressed together in a thin line. “He does go out to jobs out there.”
I let out a sigh. “Great. So that’s probably where he is.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” Wren shrugged. “The way he looks at you speaks for itself. He has feelings for you.”
“Then why not tell me? Why keep his distance at every move?” My voice grew hard and my grip grew tighter on my tea. No. I didn’t need to think this way. “I would love to think that, but he’s just being friendly. Not romantic.”
“It’s obviously bothering you,” Mollie said gently. “So why did you set him up with someone else?”
“I think I needed the reminder that he’s not mine.
And I know this is my fault. I’m not the kind of girl who can be friends with someone I’m attracted to and never fall for them.
I was set on this path when I slept with him.
And now I’m tied to him forever. It’s almost better to .
. . break my own heart than embarrass myself. ”
“Yeah, no.” Jade shook her head. “No good comes from getting your heart broken, trust me.”
She spoke gently again, which meant she was serious. I was about to spiral over my own decisions again when Wren interrupted.
“Maybe this distance is good,” Wren said. “You can get your head on straight and then figure out what to do when he’s back.”
“I’m not telling him, that’s for sure. I know how this ends.”
I could say it all I wanted to, but there was this nagging feeling that I couldn’t shake. I felt like I was missing something, that I needed to figure him out.
And I didn’t know why I couldn’t let it go.
“We should go to that crochet night,” Mollie announced. “Because Grace needs a distraction.”
“Yeah, girl time erases boys,” Wren said. “We’re here for you.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll take you up on that girl time. I need . . . any kind of distraction right now.”
“Tomorrow. The library. The four of us are messing with yarn.” Jade slammed her hand down on the table.
“Are you gonna try to murder someone with it?” Mollie asked. “Be honest.”
“It depends on my mood for the day.”
Despite myself, I smiled. “Do you even have the patience for this?”
“Who, me? I love having patience. I’ll bring my calmness crystal and be fine.”
“Can I use this hook to stab myself?” Jade muttered a day later.
“Is the crystal not working?” I asked.
“Shut up,” she hissed.
I wasn’t faring much better. I’d made one thing. I successfully cut a six-inch strand of yarn to create a worm. My brain couldn’t comprehend how to hold the work, the yarn, and keep good tension. So a single-strand worm it was.
Marjorie, of all people, was in charge of the class. Trying to listen to her was a little like trying to track a drunk bird as it flew south for the winter. She was all over the place and fought with the yarn as much as I did.
“You have to make the yarn your bitch,” Marjorie said. “Demand respect.”
“I demanded respect and now I have a knot around my hand.” Wren held up her mess.
“I think it’s a bow. That’s your first project right there.”
Wren’s brow creased and she stared at her yarn. “Um, is your teaching method working for anyone else?”
“No idea. I forgot my glasses today. You’re all beautiful little fuzz balls.”
Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone and played a YouTube video. Jade huddled in and watched it too.
The person speaking went nice and slow. I still didn’t get it.
The door to the room opened, and Marjorie turned, ready to tell off another teen for coming into a reserved space, but instead, it was someone I knew.
“Hello? Am I too late?”
“Virginia?” I asked.
“Grace! Hi!”
“Are you here for the crochet class?”
“Yes. I just saw it on my walk to my car. I brought my own project.” She pulled out a half-finished stuffed animal. Even from a distance, I could see each stitch was done well.
“Oh, hell. You’re good at this.” Marjorie threw her hands up. “Wanna teach the class?”
Virginia laughed. “I bet you’re doing fine. I just figured I could work and listen. Maybe meet some people while I’m at it.”
“I’m Jade and I want to murder right now.” My best friend raised her hand. “And I’m guessing you met Grace at her shop?”
“I did, but I’m also Dean’s mom.”
Jade’s eyes went wide. “Oh. That’s awesome. We love your son. Never had a problem with him before or anything.”
“I have a feeling he’s being an idiot right now.”
“Thank God. We can speak freely.”
“We weren’t saying anything that bad,” Mollie added. “Most of us are trying and failing to crochet.”
“All of us are failing,” Wren said flatly.
“Miserably,” I added.
“What yarn did you pick up?” Virginia asked as she came to me. In my hands was a beautiful red yarn. I didn’t know anything about it other than it was a color I wanted to make a scarf out of.
“I have no idea,” I replied. “The label is to my right.”
I would have handed it to her if I wasn’t tied up in my own mistakes.
“Oh, honey. You might want to try a new one. You’re using a wool blend, and that can be notoriously hard for some beginners.” Virginia gave me a new yarn to try.
“Can you please help me untangle my hand?” Wren asked. “I think I’m losing circulation.”
Virginia went right over and helped.
“All right, my job here is done. Say hello to your new teacher, everyone.” Marjorie pointed to Virginia.
“I can’t just take over a class.”
“Please do. Our last teacher canceled and I don’t know how to crochet.”
“You don’t?” Mollie asked, her jaw dropped. “You told us you were an expert!”
“Fake it till you make it.” Marjorie shrugged. “Come to the front and I’ll pay you for your time. Bye!” And she was out the door.
“What just happened?” Virginia asked.
“I think you just got a job.”
She blinked and then slowly went back to untangling Wren.
“Hey, so could we start from scratch?” Mollie asked. “Marjorie told us to be one with the yarn and I think my brain exploded.”
“Uh, sure. We’ll start with a chain. Is everyone listening?”
We all agreed and Virginia continued on, teaching us how to do the basics. We followed along better, but Mollie got it far faster than we did.
“I think I’m making a scarf,” Mollie said as she held up her own work. It looked more put together than mine or Jade’s.
“Is there anything you’re not good at?” Wren asked. She was nearly buried under yarn.
“Shutting up?” Mollie said with a shrug.
Wren let out a long sigh and went back to it. She made two moves before she said, “Hey, when does this get fun?”
“About three months in,” Virginia said with a wince. “But I think you have potential.”
“Potential means failure,” Wren muttered. “I’m only good at breaking things.”
Virginia’s eyes went wide. “Oh, I’m sure—”
“She’s not being negative,” Mollie said. “She is good at breaking things. And she loves it.”