Chapter 16
Chapter sixteen
Miles
Atlas was going to tell me something massive.
I could sense it. In all the months we’d been together, I’d learned their tells.
The heavy slump to their shoulders, the weighty sighs, the way their near-constant sunshiny effervescence seemed to dim .
. . I could read them better than I could read even Claudia at this point.
And I knew that whatever they had to say—whatever had been bugging them all night—would change everything between us.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. “Daddy?”
They jerked a bit when I broke the silence and turned to me, the interior lights fading out as we sat. I could only barely make them out in the moonlight, the moon just a sliver in the sky. “Yes, sweet boy?”
I took a breath. I didn’t want to know, but I knew I had to.
Fuck. This was gonna be bad, wasn’t it?
“What’s wrong?” I ventured. “Something’s been up with you all night.”
I heard more than saw their sigh wrack their body, despite my eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness. “Can we go inside to talk about it?” They fumbled blindly for my hand, and I placed mine in theirs.
Squeezing, I forced a smile into my voice. “Sure, Daddy.”
We solemnly exited the car at the same time, and every step I took toward Atlas’s adorable home added to the rocks in my stomach. I felt like I was walking to my execution.
Once inside, Atlas kicked off their heels by the front door as I toed off my dress shoes. They sauntered into the kitchen to grab us a few glasses of water from the pitcher on the countertop then joined me on the davenport.
After a long, pronounced gulp and a slow, deliberate movement to set their glass on a marble coaster on the coffee table, Atlas turned their entire body toward me. Their breath caught before they spoke. “A-A few things happened today that I want to share with you.”
I swallowed water around the lump in my throat then set my glass down as well. “It’s something big, isn’t it,” I asked, though my intonation was flat. It wasn’t a question, because I knew the answer.
They nodded, and I could feel my heart start to break. This would be the end of us. I just knew it. “Jeb pulled me into his office before I left today. They let me go.”
I gasped, my eyes shooting wide. “What?! How could they . . . they love you there, and you’ve done such good work for them! How could they just—how could they just fire you?”
Their eyes were sad. “Not fired, just let go. They can’t afford me anymore.”
I blinked. “Seriously?”
They nodded. “Yeah. I get it—being a former business owner myself, of course I get it—but it doesn’t suck any less.”
I just stared back. They’d shared their whole story with me over the past few months, and I knew everything that had gone down in Seattle, why they’d had to move back home to Gomillion.
I also knew they weren’t happy here, not really.
Na?vely, I’d hoped I would’ve been enough to keep them here.
But without a job and bills to pay, would I be enough reason for them to stay?
Gomillion wasn’t known for their scintillating job market.
I doubted they’d have an easy time finding another job that fit their skills in town—or even within driving distance.
They cleared their throat, and my full attention shot back to them, my gut tightening. “That’s not all.”
My eyes got wider, but the lump in my throat had grown into a boulder, and I couldn’t get any words out.
Thankfully, they understood and kept going. “Remember my friend, Chase? The one with the business in Seattle?”
I nodded warily, sensing where this was going.
“Not even an hour after I left work for the last time, he called me and offered me a position in his C-Suite with a massive salary and incredible benefits.”
My heart leapt for them even as it was breaking for me. “God, Daddy, that’s incredible!” I sobered quickly, though, as the aching in my chest overtook the joy. “But I assume he’ll want you in Seattle. When does he want you to start?”
Their face fell, and any hope I’d been harboring that I’d have a bit more time with them—that perhaps we’d figure out a way for them to stay—was dashed to the rocks like an ocean’s wave in a hurricane. “Monday.”
With that one word, my heart finally shattered, and I curled in on myself, my breaths shortening and chest throbbing. “M-Monday?” I managed to croak out, my cheeks flushing as my voice cracked. “Like . . . in two-and-a-half days Monday?”
“Yes. I need to leave on an early Sunday flight.” Despite my vision starting to go black on the edges, I noticed their hands lifting as if about to touch me before they pulled them back, seemingly rethinking it.
God, I wanted them to touch me. And I was glad they didn’t.
“I’m so sorry, baby. This all just happened so fast, and then we were at the reunion . . .” Their voice trailed off.
I didn’t want to utter a word of the horrific, unfair questions swirling through my head, so I stayed silent.
Are you actually going to go?
Am I not enough to make you stay?
Did you even want to be my Daddy?
Was everything you told me a lie?
No, I didn’t say any of that, because I wasn’t a dick. But fuck, part of me wanted to.
Because I knew they were going to take the job. They had to. They didn’t have a choice. They had no job here anymore, and this position was a huge opportunity that would be absurd to turn down.
But where did that leave me?
“Chase told me to bring you along.”
Atlas’s words were almost a whisper, but they carried in the nearly silent room. “Wh-what?” I managed, my heart racing for an entirely different reason now. Maybe this wasn’t the end after all?
Their eyes finally met mine after minutes apart. “They already have an apartment for me—one of the many perks of the job—and when I mentioned my partner, Chase told me specifically to bring you with me.”
Partner? I could feel my chest start to heave with a slow-burning rage at the word—a bit irrationally, I could admit—and the bit of hope I’d felt that we could possibly move forward together despite this was dashed under its fiery weight.
If we were partners, they wouldn’t be leaving like this, would they?
I shoved to my feet, pacing my usual lines in their living room carpet. I could feel their eyes on me as I stomped across the room and back, but I needed time to think.
And Atlas, being the wonderful Daddy they were, stayed silent long enough for me to process.
As I paced, I considered my options.
One, Atlas and I could break up. My heart ached in my chest at the mere mention of that, and I knew that was the last thing I wanted.
Two, I could move across the country with them. This idea presented its own set of problems, of course, the least of which was the fact that my job, my home, and my family were here, in and around Gomillion, worlds away from Seattle.
Three, we could try to make it work long distance.
While not very appealing, it was slightly better than option number one, so I supposed that was on the table.
But how could we be Daddy and boy over such a great distance?
I wanted to go deeper with them, get even closer, not pull away.
I knew people did it, of course they did, but if I was honest, I didn’t want that for myself.
I didn’t want that with them. Atlas had shown me I was a very tactile person and craved their touch.
I wouldn’t make it long without needing them in my arms, and I couldn’t afford flying across the country every time I needed to touch them. Nope, option three was out.
Was there a fourth option? Maybe a hybrid where we were long distance for a time until I could find work in the city they would soon call home?
Honestly, the thought of job hunting in a brand-new city made me sick to my stomach, and the prospect of building a business from the ground up—something I’d never done—made me want to crawl into a hole and hide.
Was that option five? Hiding away from the world, ignoring this until it went away?
Fuck, Miles, you know that won’t work, my brain unhelpfully supplied. You’re a fucking adult—act like it.
And yet . . . I couldn’t deal with this news. Not yet. What I needed in this moment was time.
I stopped walking—between this and the reunion, I probably would hit my move goal today—and turned to catch Atlas’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”
Their eyebrows furrowed as their head cocked to one side. “Whatever for?”
I swallowed hard. “I can’t decide right now, okay? I need some time to think about it.”
Atlas stared at me for a moment before they nodded slightly.
“Of course, sweet boy. It’s a big decision, and I never would’ve asked it of you if I saw another way.
” They pushed up from the davenport, circling the coffee table to stand in front of me, taking both of my hands in theirs.
“You’re the most important thing in my life, Miles.
I want you to know that. And if I wasn’t moving out of town, I’d want you to move in here, with me.
I was already planning to ask you before this all happened. ”
They took a breath, staring down at our hands.
“I’m really sorry about this timing, baby.
If we’d been further along in our relationship, maybe this would’ve been an easier decision.
Or maybe not.” They looked up at me, and tears shone in their eyes.
“I don’t want to lose you. But I can’t force you to uproot your entire life for me.
That wouldn’t be fair of me as a partner, say nothing of me as your Daddy.
I always have and always will want what’s best for you. ”
Tears stung my eyes as they continued.
“So take all the time you need, sweet baby boy.” My knees nearly gave out at that most beautiful of endearments, but they kept going. “Whatever you decide, I won’t be upset with you. This needs to be a decision you feel good about.”
I nodded once, choking back sobs. A stray tear escaped my eye, then another, and soon, my face was soaked. “Thank you, Daddy,” I managed in a crackling whisper.
“Of course, baby.” They reached up, swiping their thumbs across my wet cheeks.
“Chase told me he’s willing to fly me back and forth, and I have no doubt he’d fly you out if you decided to follow me after I left.
So seriously, take all the time you need to decide.
I don’t want any anger or resentment between us. ”
At that, they leaned forward and pressed their lips to mine.
My heart was breaking, but I needed this connection. I needed to know that what we had was real, that they were real. I needed a memory to hold on to when they were thousands of miles away and living a life I could only dream of.
I moaned as Atlas’s tongue prodded my lips apart, and their tongue danced with mine as they pushed me backward toward their bedroom.
I loved the feeling of this much smaller human manhandling me.
Not only was it indescribably hot, but it also made me feel tiny in the best of ways.
It made me feel wanted, too, special. It made me feel loved.
I loved this beautiful person. I loved the sunshine they’d brought into my life. I loved the way they ordered me around, humiliated me, degraded me before praising me for being their little cum slut. I loved the way they took me in hand and reddened my ass to get me out of my head.
I loved them. My heart was unequivocally theirs, and it might always have been, even back in high school when I’d longed for them from afar. That crush I’d secretly harbored all those years ago had finally become reality.
And yet . . .
I’d backstepped all the way to their bed, and when my legs hit the mattress, Atlas shoved me until I crashed backward, falling in both body and soul.
I’d fully fallen for them, and while that was absolutely true, I also knew I couldn’t move across the country with them.
I would stay here in Gomillion, in my boring life, because that was what I’d always done. That was who I was.
Miles, who never made waves. Miles, who’d always sacrificed what he’d wanted for others. Miles, who always did the safe thing because that was what he needed to do to survive.
Atlas stripped off their beautiful silky suit piece by piece, and my hungry eyes ate up the sight while my stomach rolled. Why did the thought of them leaving without me hurt so goddamn much? I knew it was the sensible decision, the right decision.
Wasn’t it?
“Miles,” Atlas breathed, and the sound brought me back to the present.
I was nearly certain I would be staying here when they left, but they would be gone in mere hours, and I determined then and there not to waste them.
If this was one of the last nights we would have together, I was going to be here with them completely.
I would give them everything I had, even if it would kill me when they left.
Because it was going to kill me whether I did or not.