35. Chapter 35
Chapter 35
“ O h, Jane, I know you mean well,” I said while scanning the greeting card aisle at Target. “But I’m fine. I’m back home, back to reality, and I’m not going to act on this … well, crush. That’s all it is. He’s not interested in … I mean, besides, he has her now. Oh—oh no, Jane, I’ll have to call you back.”
I hung up as I heard a familiar voice calling my name and saw Annie tentatively walking toward me.
“Annie,” I replied, taking a deep breath. “Hi.” I tried to smile but failed.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” Annie said, her face cautious but smiling. She smoothed her hand over the front of her casual yellow dress, which likely didn’t need smoothing. Annie looked perfect, as always.
“Why?” I asked, furrowing my brows. “Can’t I shop like anyone else?”
Annie’s eyes widened as she took a small step back. “Of course, sorry, I just meant that it’s a strange coincidence because, well, I was just thinking about calling you. And here you are.”
I winced, inwardly berating myself for being rude. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so defensive.”
Annie shrugged. “It’s fine. I get it. Things did not end well between us.” She paused and sighed. “I was a total jerk, actually.”
I couldn’t suppress a laugh. “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. That was just so … blunt.”
Annie smiled again. “Yeah, that’s me.”
I didn’t speak for a moment, looking at my shoes. “I miss that.”
“You do?” Annie arched her eyebrows. “I have been realizing of late that it’s not one of my better traits. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure that out.”
“Well, bluntness has a time and place. Sometimes I wish …”
“You wish what?”
“I wish I could be like that. Sometimes.”
“Oh. Well, maybe I could teach you. I could be the mentor for once.” Annie’s lips curved into a tentative smile.
I returned the smile. “I’d like that.”
After an awkward silence in which they both looked elsewhere, Annie blurted out, “Can you forgive me, Viv?”
I nodded slowly. “Only if you forgive me.”
“I was the awful person, not you. It’s the freaking redhead temper, right? No, I don’t have an excuse. You were just looking out for me and trying to protect me from another terrible guy, as always,” Annie said with a sigh. “I sure know how to pick ’em.”
“But I could’ve tried to get in touch with you after that. Instead of giving up on us so easily,” I admitted. “I just … I don’t know. Maybe I needed space. Not from you necessarily, but from everything. Things weren’t going well with Gregory, and that ended terribly. I’m sure you know that. They both played us for fools, and I was just as gullible as you were, maybe more so because Gregory made it pretty obvious from the start that he was just an asshole. And—”
“Viv, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you and that I pushed him on you. I was a little too wrapped up in myself to see what was happening or what could happen with a guy like that.” Annie sighed. “I wasn’t being a great friend either.”
My mouth slowly curved into a smile. “OK, so let’s stop being crappy friends to each other. Deal?”
Annie laughed with arms outstretched. “Bring it in.”
“Well, this is playing out like a scene in a Hallmark movie.” Eyes twinkling, I waved my arms to the side. “And we’re literally in the greeting card aisle.”
Annie giggled. “Oh, the horror. At least it’s not a Christmas movie. Speaking of horrors, you have heard about poor Ellen, right?”
I tilted my head in question. “ Poor Ellen?”
“I know she kind of took advantage of us, and she was kind of horrible when I quit,” Annie admitted with a sigh. “But I feel so bad for her, don’t you?”
I stared at her, not comprehending. “Why would I?”
“Oh wow, you didn’t hear?” Annie’s eyes widened. “Have you been on social media, like, at all?”
“No, I needed a break. I didn’t even read any of my emails or messages from Ellen, I was so furious with her.”
“I’m in awe,” Annie said, mouth gaping for several seconds. “I tried to go off the grid for a while, but I was too weak. OK, but anyway, so she was having an affair with some no-name guy at the gym. Her husband found out and not only confronted the gym guy but also got in touch with the gym guy’s wife. The wife just happened to be one of those influencers on Instagram and TikTok with literally millions of followers. Within hours, the story was everywhere. Ellen had to resign, and she’s said to be taking a spa vacation somewhere. Can you believe it? I mean, I feel for her, but then I also don’t.”
“Wow, that is insane. I actually wondered if there was a gym guy on the side. There was a weird late night in the office one weekend … but anyway, just, wow. She kinda sold me out to Greg, but still, I do feel sorry for her. That’s a hefty consequence for one bad decision.”
“No kidding. If only all the two-timers paid such a price. Like the garbage men we dated. But let’s not go there … So are you ready to check out too?” When I nodded and turned to walk with her, Annie added, “Good, because I need to update you on my life. I finally found a good guy, if you’ll allow me a humble brag. It’s been agony not being able to talk to you all this time!”
My heart sank. Her new guy must be Jack. As much as I’d missed Annie and felt genuinely happy about resuming our friendship, that was one major hurdle I hadn’t had a chance to process yet. How on earth was I going to handle seeing two of my best friends in a romantic relationship together, all while I was in love with one of them? It might have been easier if I could hate Annie, but I knew deep down that wasn’t possible, whether we were still friends or not.
“Viv? Are you OK?”
I shook my head. “Yes. I mean no. That is, yes, I’m OK, but I just remembered I’m not done shopping.”
Annie smiled. “Oh, no problem. I can tag along while you finish and gush about my new man.”
“No!” I bit my bottom lip. “I mean, I would love that, but I, well, it’s just not really the right time. I still have a lot of things to buy.”
Annie looked down at the small basket in my hand doubtfully, and I added awkwardly, “I should probably go get a cart, actually. Since I need a ton of stuff.”
“It’s fine, Viv. You can just tell me if you don’t want to talk. Remember, bluntness? You can start now.”
“No, it’s, it’s not that,” I said, scrambling for words. “I just—it’s not the best time. It’s hard to explain.”
Annie studied me for a moment and then threw her arms around me. “It’s fine, Viv. We’ll catch up another time, I hope. I’m just glad we got to talk. Really glad.”
I forced a smile and nodded. “Me too.” After an awkward moment of silence, I added, “I’ll text you soon.”
Annie looked a bit doubtful but then smiled lightly as she turned and walked toward the checkouts.
Somehow I managed to get home before the tears fell. Loud, messy crying and sniffling that I was thankful no one would witness.
I had to somehow be OK with my very best friend, also the man I was in love with, dating another close friend. And I had no idea how to do that.
As I wiped away my tears a bit later, I remembered that the new job started tomorrow. My heart raced, as the thought of a new job was overwhelming, given all the emotional wreckage that was currently my life. Then again, I realized, work could be my salvation. Temporarily, of course. I just had to think about work and not about my devastating love life. Simple, right?
Once my tears finally dried and my puffy eyes became less puffy, I suspected I’d left the phone in the car. After retrieving it from my car, I was almost back to safety in my apartment when a warm hand lightly landed on my shoulder.
“Vivi, so glad I caught you!” Jack said. “How was your trip?”
I turned reluctantly, afraid to look at him, afraid he would see.
He’d see all the love in my eyes, all the pain, the heartbreak.
I swallowed thickly as I dared to meet his eyes. “It was good. Really good.”
“You look tired. Or … something.” His brows were wrinkled in concern as he pulled his hand away casually, obviously (thankfully) unaware of its effects on me. “Are you all right?”
“I’m tired, Jack. And tomorrow is my first day at the magazine, so I need to turn in early.”
“Right, that’s so exciting! Let’s celebrate your first day tomorrow night, OK?” he suggested with a smile.
“Uh …” Why had it taken me so long to notice—or to admit to myself—that Jack had a gorgeous smile?
Now is not the time.
“We haven’t done anything fun together for a while, and it’s the perfect excuse to celebrate,” he continued. “Dinner or takeout and maybe an Austen movie at your place? You name it.”
I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes. Why did he have to make this so difficult? Just when I most needed to avoid him, he wanted to spend time together and do, well, things that would be date-like to almost any other two people. Things that would remind me of what I’d never have with him.
I needed to decline this invitation.
Just say no, maybe offer a raincheck.
“Well, I … sure,” I heard myself saying. “How about we order in with a movie, but not Austen … I am taking a break from Austen.”
So much for declining—you’re hopeless.
“A break from Austen?” he said, his mouth gaping. “Wow, I’m sorry. You’ll have to tell me all about this later. So, what time should I come over?”
“Um, I’ll just text you later. You bring the takeout?” I inhaled deeply and forced a smile before asking the dreaded question, with my voice only a little shaky. “Should we, um, invite Annie too?”
“Annie?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “We can, but I thought you and her …”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that. We’re fine now. I ran into her yesterday, and we’ve reconciled. I can invite her if you’d like,” I said, my forced smile feeling painful.
“I mean, sure, if you want to.” A muscle ticked in his jaw.
I didn’t know what to make of his response, but I couldn’t think about that now.
“I really need to go, Jack, but I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said abruptly. As I walked backward the few steps to my door, I forced a smile. “It really was great to see you!”
Once safely inside my own apartment, I slumped down onto the couch, burying my flushed face in my hands. But before I had much time to marinate on this new misery, my phone buzzed with a group text.
Jenn
Viv, Jack, please tell me you have no plans tomorrow night?!
Jack
We’re celebrating Vivi’s new job, of course!
Viviana
It’s just some takeout and a movie at my place. Want to join us, Jenn?
Jenn
No, Kieran and I have strep. And my leg hurts :(
Thing is, we planned this whole date night, and apparently it’s all nonrefundable. Any chance you two would use it tomorrow night? It’s just dinner, upscale-ish
My heart slammed in my chest. A faux romantic dinner for two? With Jack? I wouldn’t survive it. I needed to say no. Staring at the screen, I waited to see what Jack would say. Two minutes passed with no response.
Jenn
Oh come on, it has to beat takeout on Viv’s couch.
Jack
Sounds good to me, but we’re celebrating Vivi, so whatever she wants. :)
I winced.
Of course he’d punt on this.
Viviana
Maybe Annie could come too? Or instead?
Jenn
It’s dinner for two, Vivi. I think Annie is busy with her own job hunt anyway. She texted me asking for a reference today.
My hands were shaking as I tried to think of a message to type. Why wasn’t Jack speaking up on Annie’s behalf? Surely he’d rather do a romantic dinner with his new girlfriend instead of his awkward, moody best friend.
Jenn
Come on, you two. I just need two people who like dining out to go dine out, on our dime. This should be easy. You’ll seriously break my heart if you say no, and I’m sick. How cruel can you be? ;)
Jack
Well, when you put it like that …
Viviana
FINE. I’ll go if Jack wants to.
Jack
This conversation has been such an ego boost.
Viviana
Sorry, Jack. It’s been a long week, or month. See you tomorrow. And thanks, Jenn. I hope you and K feel better.
Jenn
Have an amazing first day tomorrow, Viv!!!