12. Reghan
12
REGHAN
I’d lost count of how many people we’d spoken to. People were coming and going. Some were curious about what we were up to and approached us. Others we had to knock on doors near where the victim was last seen. The longer we were here, the more frustrating it became. No one had witnessed anything. The people who had cameras had limited visibility in their footage.
Barrett had tried to go into cop mode repeatedly by asking questions that sounded right out of training he’d received years ago or honed from being on the job for so long. I had to keep interjecting and putting myself in front of the people while he hung out behind me. It didn’t matter what the plan was; as soon as local citizens started talking, Barrett tried to dig a whole lot deeper, even though they didn’t have any information.
At least no one figured out he was a cop, not with me standing beside him. Nothing about me screamed police. I kept my gun hidden under my coat and didn’t stand stiff and proper. I stayed relaxed so no one thought I was there to interrogate them. I was just trying to solve what happened as a concerned citizen and a friend of Barrett’s.
By the time we said screw it and knew we weren’t going to get any further, we were starving. There was a diner a few streets over that we’d passed.
We entered and were greeted with the scent of cooked meat and a dessert case that was packed full of pie and cake slices. There was a sign on a gold pole stating we should wait to be seated. A waitress breezed by us carrying a tray of food and said she’d be right back.
The looks we got from the locals were nothing I wasn’t used to. Not being a small guy, people tended to stare. Add on that Barrett was fucking beautiful; yeah, we were going to be talked about once we left. Not only by the people we spoke to but the ones in here too.
While we waited, I texted Lawson so he could get into those personal cameras to make sure the footage of us disappeared. He would also comb social media to ensure videos hadn’t popped up of us. We didn’t need Barrett’s boss wondering why he was walking around with me. And while Barrett should get a medal for how easily he pissed me off, I had no desire to see him lose his job. By the sounds of it, he needed it. I was glad we used fake names when we introduced ourselves earlier.
The waitress returned and led us to a table in the corner. Barrett and I both went for the back seat to face the diner. My jaw ticked, not liking the idea of being unable to protect us. Barrett must have seen it because he relented. I was able to have a view of everyone, including the door.
“What can I get you to drink?” she asked.
“Tea with honey,” Barrett said.
“Coffee, please,” I told her.
“I’ll be right back with those. Inside the menu, you’ll find our daily specials. Our soup of the day is chicken with wild rice, and our vegetables are steamed broccoli and carrots.”
As soon as she was gone, I asked Barrett, “Are you sick?”
“What? No.”
“You ordered tea. I didn’t figure you for a tea drinker.”
“I’m not, but we’ve been talking all day, and my throat is dry as hell.”
I nodded. That made sense.
There was no point in me picking up the menu. Diners all had the same food, and since I didn’t eat meat, my options were limited.
It was only a few minutes before our drinks were placed in front of us and she was ready for our order.
“I’ll have a cheeseburger, well done, and a side of fries,” Barrett said.
“Everything on it?”
“Please.”
“And for you?”
“Can I get an omelet with tomatoes, spinach, and cheddar?” I asked.
“Home fries?”
“Yes, please.”
“I’ll go put your order in. It shouldn’t be too long.” She breezed away with a coffeepot in hand to refill others as she went.
Barrett leaned forward, putting his arms on the table. “We’re at a greasy diner and you order an omelet?”
“I’m a vegetarian.”
His eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Why is that shocking?”
“Because of the size of you. How much do you eat to stay like that?”
“There are plenty of ways for me to get protein.”
“You eat eggs?” This was a common question people asked when I said I was a vegetarian.
“Yes, and dairy. I’m not vegan. One day, maybe, but not yet.”
“Interesting.” He leaned back in his seat with a grin. Those fucking dimples popped and made my cock stir.
I thought back to the first time I met him. I was instantly attracted to him, but then he opened his mouth and irritated the shit out of me.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked as he stirred his tea.
“You.”
“I’m right here.”
“Do you remember when we met?”
“You were trying to be all tough, protecting your boss, and I couldn’t resist ruffling your feathers.”
“You were cocky.”
He shrugged. “I usually am.”
“You kept stepping closer even though I told you to back up.”
His smile grew. “I usually do the opposite when I’m told to do something. I’m fun like that.”
“You acted as if you were untouchable. That no matter what Jordan or I said, you were above us.”
“Now, hold on,” he said and lowered his voice. We were both leaning on the table, close enough to whisper without anyone hearing us. “I have never thought I was better than you or Jordan. Not once. I don’t care who you are or what you do. Sure, I come off cocky, but that’s not really me, and you know that.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” I wanted to tack on back then, but something held me back from saying it. Maybe if I didn’t, he’d elaborate on what he was hiding. There were still pieces of his past I didn’t know about, ones he hadn’t shared.
“You’re telling me I set the tone for our relationship? Or was it your reaction to my perceived attitude? Because the way I’m looking at it, we’re both at fault here. Jordan and I didn’t hate one another or try to go for each other’s jugular. Yet from day one with you, I was the enemy.”
“Aren’t you?” I couldn’t help it. He was still a detective, and I was still a killer.
The smile slipped from his face. The mask, however, didn’t drop in its place. I wanted the real Barrett. Maybe I’d finally get him. “After all this time of me doing… Ya know, for you know who, and you still think that?” Barrett leaned away and slouched against the seat. “Whatever, man. I’m not sure what to do to make you think of me differently, and honestly, what’s the point? You’re still going to judge me.”
“It’s not just that. Whenever we saw each other, you reinforced my first impression. You had to outdo yourself each time. Be more of an asshole. More of the guy I didn’t want anywhere near me because he was so fake I couldn’t read him. Don’t you get that? I have a job to do and part of it is reading the people around me. If I can’t get a read on you, I’m going to assume the worst.”
“What about me? I’m supposed to bare my throat so you can look at me like a specimen under a microscope? Sorry, but you didn’t need to know everything about me. Your boss did, and he was fine working with me. You should have taken that cue. Once again... you were judging me.”
It took everything in me not to reach across the table and fist his shirt so I could get right in his face. Instead, I whispered, “Fuck you, Bear.”
That was when our food was dropped off. We ate in silence. I was on autopilot. My stomach had been growling when we walked in but had since turned sour. Food was needed though. If I screwed up my eating habits, I could trigger a migraine.
Every bite tasted like I was eating air. I didn’t enjoy the meal or the company. The more I ate, the more irritated I became until we were done, the bill was paid, and I stomped out of the building with fury in every step.
Fuck Barrett and his bullshit. I tried to get him to trust me, and all he did was prove why it was a bad idea. Once my ass was in my seat, I slammed the door shut so hard I winced. I shouldn’t have done that. The last thing I needed was to break the door. I had no time for that.
Barrett got inside much gentler than me. The fire had left him. Whatever. He could sit and stew or not.
We got back on the highway heading south. The sun was slowly setting, and thankfully, the traffic was lighter since we were going in the opposite direction of the commuters.
About fifteen minutes into the drive, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”
I almost ran off the road at the shock of him apologizing. I turned the wheel and then had to jolt us back into the lane. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not going to say it again,” he growled. Fair. I wouldn’t ask him to repeat it. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t make him work for it.
“What are you apologizing for?”
His head dropped against the seat, and his eyes closed. “Everything, okay? I did what I did out of necessity, not because I hated you or didn’t trust you. Well, I didn’t trust you then. Now’s a different story. I just… I have shit I need to handle at home, and if the world knows, that puts it at risk.” There was a lot he wasn’t saying, but this was still more than I’d gotten from him before.
“Do you have a kid?”
“No, but…”
“Okay, here’s how this is going to happen. I’m not going to repeat what you tell me. I won’t even tell my brother, which is a big fucking deal. Raiden and I are close, so me keeping something from him won’t be easy, but I’ll do it if you’ll trust me.”
“I want to.”
“Jordan knows.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind he did, but with that came the knowledge that my boss knew more about the man I desired than I did. It hurt. I wanted to be the one who held Barrett’s secrets—only me.
“He does because he dug into my background to see what there was. I didn’t blame him. A man like him has to protect himself. Plus, he had to find ways to keep me in line, ways to bribe me if need be.”
“Tell me.”
“I have a brother.”
“Okayyy.” Why was that such a big deal?
Barrett sighed. “He’s my responsibility. I provide for him. If something happens to me, I need to know he can afford to live. Every day I’m doing my job is a day I might not come home. He’s this amazing artist, but that doesn’t provide a full-time income, so he works part time and devotes the other part of his life to his art.”
“And you take care of the bills.”
“Plus, his health insurance. I pay for it out of pocket since I can’t insure him through work. He’s not a minor, and I'm not his guardian.”
“But Jordan pays you well, so you should be fine.” I didn’t want to think about Barrett getting shot, or worse, while he was working, which was why I kept to the topic of money.
“He does, but I can only take so much from him. If he were to pay me a shit ton every time I did something for him and I deposited it in the bank, that would raise flags. There would be no way for me to explain it. If the amounts stay smaller, I can pass them off as doing work on the side. The less flags, the more people stay out of my personal life.”
That made sense and wasn’t a thought that had crossed my mind. Barrett worked for the police department. He couldn’t have all this money in his accounts, nor was it safe to keep actual cash where he lived. What if someone broke in and stole it, hurt him and his brother?
“I get it now. You fly under the radar so your brother is safe and taken care of.”
“Yeah.” Barrett sounded so tired, so worn down. How long had he been doing this?
I was tempted to take the next exit just so I could pull over and gather him into my arms, but Barrett wasn’t the type to want pity, even though that wasn’t what it would be.