Chapter 4
4
Kai carried the full Crock-Pot from the sandwich shop kitchen to Beth’s small SUV. She opened the passenger door, and he placed the pot on the floor.
“Be careful going around corners,” he told her. “No hot rodding like you usually do.”
Beth laughed. “Right. That’s me. Taking the curves at ninety.” She glanced in the back seat and confirmed she had everything she wanted to take to her brother’s. She did her best to have dinner with Rick at least once a month, his schedule permitting.
She smiled at Kai. “I left you some chili in the refrigerator.”
His dark eyes brightened. “For real? Sweet! Thanks, Beth. You know I love me some chili, especially yours.” He glanced at the Crock-Pot. “If it’s not too much work to make, we could offer chili here at the shop. Maybe make it a special on Wednesdays or something.”
“We’re a sandwich shop. That’s our sweet spot.” She wrinkled her nose. “Besides, my chili isn’t that special.”
“You’re wrong, Boss. Don’t doubt yourself. You have mad skills. Your chili is delicious. Besides, people like variety. What if we got those small sourdough loaves and put the chili in there? I know the surfers would totally be into something that filling.”
Chili? She wasn’t sure, although he was doing a good job at selling her. “I’m still not sure my chili is good enough, but I get your point.” Expanding the menu was always a risk, but once it was made, the chili wouldn’t be labor-intensive to serve. If they offered a vegetarian option, that would certainly please their demographic.
“Let me run some numbers. If they work out, we could do some taste tests.”
“All right.” He held up his hand for a high five. “When the right wave comes, you gotta take it and ride it to the end or you risk being pulled under.”
“Or you can ignore it and take the next one.”
He grinned. “Naw. Take the wave. The right one doesn’t come around all that often.”
As she drove to Rick’s, she mulled over Kai’s advice. To be honest, she wasn’t a “take the wave” kind of person. She was more cautious and thoughtful—mostly because of her mother. Growing up, she’d watched their mom, Caryn, take all kinds of risks. One time they’d driven out to the desert to go on a hot-air balloon. The winds had come up as a storm threatened, causing the operator to want to postpone the trip. But Caryn had pleaded with the man, lying that it was Rick’s birthday and that he’d been begging for the trip. In truth, both she and Rick had been terrified, but their fear had never stopped their mom from doing anything.
Five minutes into the horrifying journey, a gust of wind had sent them off course, and they’d nearly collided with power lines. The operator had tried to get them down safely, but they’d ended up crashing onto the interstate and causing a three-car pileup. The operator had been charged, and their mom had barely talked her way out of also spending some time in jail. Only her sobs about being a single mother had saved her.
Agatha was so normal in comparison, Beth thought as she waited at a light. So where had her mother’s brand of thrillseeker come from? Regardless, Caryn’s constant search for dangerous excitement was one of the reasons Beth preferred stable and calm. Oh, and predictable. She wasn’t interested in fire or waves or taking chances. She never had been.
She pulled into visitor parking at her brother’s ocean view condo. The building sat right on the beach, which meant it had been pricey, but oh, so worth it. Impulsively, she pulled her phone from her bag, stepped out and snapped a picture. She texted it to Jana with a text saying, Current view!
Three dots appeared. Then she saw the return text was a motivational poster of a surfer, pointing at her. Underneath it said, Seize the day…but wear sunblock.
Beth laughed before dropping her phone back into her bag and setting her tote on her shoulder. Then she picked up the hefty Crock-Pot. After Rick buzzed her in, she managed to maneuver her way through the heavy glass door and walked to the elevator. When she got to his unit, the front door was partially open. She pushed her way inside and saw her brother on his cell phone.
“Hi,” she said quietly.
He smiled before crossing to give her a one-armed hug and a kiss on the top of the head before retreating to his bedroom, where he shut the door.
Beth set the Crock-Pot on the kitchen counter and dropped the tote next to it before glancing toward the shut door. No doubt he was on with his medical office, the hospital or a patient. Her brother worked too hard, but that was because he was dedicated to his patients. She could only hope that nothing bad was happening with any of them.
She unpacked the fixings for the salad she would assemble to go with their chili, then put the three casseroles she’d made into the fridge. She’d just plugged in the Crock-Pot to keep the chili warm when her brother walked back into the living room.
“Hey,” he said with a smile as he crossed to her and gave her another hug. “Sorry about that. I was on with the hospital. One of my patients isn’t doing well, and we were discussing possible treatments.”
“I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically. “Will you have to go back to the hospital?”
“I don’t know yet. If things don’t get better, I will.”
“One of these days you’re going to tell me you’re on the phone with a woman.”
He grinned. “I want that, too.” He pointed at the Crock-Pot. “What’s for dinner?”
“Chili. I made extra. I thought we’d freeze the leftovers. You should get at least four more meals from the batch. There are three casseroles in the fridge. You know what to do with those.”
He studied her for a second. “You always take care of me.”
“Of course.” She shrugged. “You’re my baby brother. What else would I do?”
“I’m less of a baby now.”
She had to agree. He was nearly six inches taller than her, with broad shoulders and plenty of muscle. But the need to protect, to be responsible for him, had never gone away.
He grabbed a couple of bottles of iced tea from the refrigerator, and together they walked to the living room to catch up before dinner. He didn’t offer her a cocktail or wine. Rick never drank when he was on call.
They took their familiar places—her on the sofa, him in one of the oversize chairs. The space was open, with high ceilings and a view of the Pacific Ocean. The condo had been expensive—certainly more than she could ever afford—but when she’d seen the listing, she’d known it would be perfect for him. He’d protested spending so much, but she’d talked him into it. Rick worked so hard. He deserved a great place.
She liked to think that she had, in her own small way, been a piece of his success. When Rick had gotten into medical school, they’d both been daunted by the cost. Yes, he could easily take out loans, but they would have left him a hundred thousand dollars in debt. Her Uncle Dale, Agatha’s late husband, had offered an alternative. If Beth would buy the sandwich shop, then Dale would give Rick fifty thousand dollars.
She’d been saving for culinary school—it had been her dream since she and her brother had come to live with their aunt and uncle. While she’d enjoyed working in the sandwich shop, she’d never thought about staying…until Dale had made his offer.
She’d barely taken two days to decide to buy the business. After all, she would only have been a chef at the end of her training, and the world hardly needed more of those. Her brother was going to save lives. Now, all these years later, she knew she’d made the right decision. She loved her business and couldn’t imagine doing anything different. Just as important, Rick was exactly where he was supposed to be.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I was just remembering when you got into medical school. We were all so proud.”
He gave her an easy smile. “I was mostly terrified. What if I wasn’t the smartest one in class anymore?”
“Plus the cost.”
His expression turned momentarily quizzical. “Right. That. Uncle Dale came through for me. And then I got a grant to pay for the rest of it.”
“A lucky break.” In the end, Rick had graduated without any debt. She sipped her iced tea. “I just wish you’d find someone.”
“There’s a change in subject.”
“Not really. I was thinking about how great the condo is and how you’re happy at work. All that’s left is a personal life. You need to start putting yourself out there. You’re a great guy with a lot to offer.”
“You’re my sister. You have to say that.” He shifted in his chair. “It’s not that easy for me. I never know what to say.”
“Start with hi.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You haven’t been on a date since you and Ian split. I’m not sure you’re the one I should be taking dating advice from.”
“Fine,” she said with a groan. “But take advice from someone. I need nieces and nephews in my life.”
Her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen, then frowned at the text.
Just saying hi and letting you know we’re still interested in having you join our mentor program. Could we get lunch?
* * *
“What?” her brother asked. “Something with Agatha?”
“No.” She waved her phone. “A few weeks ago, I went to a meeting for women small business owners—just to network and maybe learn a few things. While I was there, a woman approached me and asked me about being a mentor.”
He stared at her in surprise. “Who would you mentor?” Before she could protest the question, he nodded. “Oh, wait. Right. Other small business owners. Makes sense that you all network. You should do it.”
“I don’t know that I have much to offer.”
“Don’t say that. You’re doing good, Beth. I was worried when you bought the business. I thought it might be too much for you, but you’re thriving.”
“Thanks,” she murmured, wondering what he’d been worried about before. She might not be college material, but she was a successful small business owner. Although when she’d first bought the business, she’d mostly been scared, so maybe he had a point.
She rose. “Come on. You can set the table while I make the salad.”
They walked into the kitchen, then took turns washing their hands. While Rick dried his, Beth reached out and lightly touched the small scar on his cheek. It had faded with time and was barely noticeable, but she still remembered how raw and jagged it had been the night he’d gotten cut.
She’d been thirteen, and he’d only been ten and small for his age. Their mother’s boyfriend at the time had been home alone with them. He’d gotten drunk and had come into Beth’s small room, talking about how pretty she was and how there were things he was going to teach her. She hadn’t known exactly what the guy had been talking about, but she’d been scared in a way she’d never been before.
He’d reached for her, shoving her up against the wall as he pressed his hands between her legs. She’d struggled to get away, screaming for him to stop. Rick had come running.
Her small, bookish brother had gone after the guy, trying to pull him away from Beth. The boyfriend had turned on Rick, which had been terrifying enough, but then he’d pulled out a knife and had cut him on the face. Blood had spurted everywhere. Beth’s and her brother’s screams had caused the neighbors to start pounding on their apartment door. The boyfriend had fled. Someone had taken them to the ER, where Rick had been stitched up and she’d been questioned by a very kind social worker.
“You’re the best brother ever,” she said quietly.
“You’re the best sister.”
They’d always been there for each other, she thought. Theirs was a bond that could never be broken.
* * *
Jana refused to let herself change more than twice before her date with Rick, but she really didn’t know what to wear. She took a quick selfie and texted it to Beth.
Does this look like I’m trying too hard?
* * *
Beth answered immediately. What does that mean? Are we not supposed to try? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? I doubt he’s sweating what he’s wearing. I know it’s a girl thing and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. Oh, and no, BTW. You look amazing. That’s the one.
Rant much? Jana sent a smiling emoji so Beth would know she was kidding.
You’re right. That was a tear, huh? Wear the dress. You look fab.
Thanks. What are you up to tonight?
* * *
Three dots appeared followed by a picture of a white crocheted bikini top with a happy face on each triangle.
Jana frowned. That’s very random.
My aunt makes custom crocheted bikinis, which are apparently a thing. I didn’t know. She has a date, so I said I’d wait for her customer.
* * *
She inserted the sigh emoji.
I absolutely have to get a life.
What’s on the bottom?
Not much.
* * *
Another picture came through—this one of an unlined crocheted thong bikini bottom.
Jana winced. Not for me .
Me, either. LMK how it goes tonight.
Promise.
* * *
Jana dropped her phone on the bed and looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing this dress and that was the end of it. She would accept being nervous, but there was no way she was going to slip into obsessing about her wardrobe. After all, they were going out for the first time. Odds were nothing would come of it.
Thirty minutes before they were to meet, she kissed Linnie goodbye, told her brother she wouldn’t be late and left. Rick had offered to pick her up, but she’d wanted to drive to the restaurant herself. Having him at the house would require more explanations than she was willing to make, what with the whole “it’s only a first date” thing. She didn’t want a lot of speculation or conversation until she knew a little bit more than he was a sweet man who thought she glowed.
The drive to the restaurant wasn’t too bad, considering it was a Saturday night and she was heading for Moonshadows, one of the most popular restaurants in Malibu. She felt grown-up and sophisticated, in a slightly nervous, I-hope-I’m-not-wrong-about-this-guy kind of way. After all, tonight was a far cry from her usual weekend nights spent with her daughter, brother and his kids where they ordered takeout and watched cartoons. Even if the date was a bust, she was going to have some delicious seafood and possibly a glass of white wine.
She handed over her keys to the valet and walked into the restaurant. It was right on the water, and the view was incredible. The ocean stretched on to the horizon, reflecting all the pinks and yellows from the nearly set sun. She paused to enjoy the show, thinking how beautiful the world could be and how lucky she was to get to experience it.
“Jana!”
She turned and saw Rick walking toward her. His smile was happy as he stopped in front of her.
“You’re here.”
“I am. The sunset is so beautiful.”
“So are you.”
She laughed. “Thank you. And you look nice, as well.”
He wore one of his suits—a bit fancy for the Malibu beach vibe, but it worked for him. Rick didn’t strike her as a casual kind of person.
“Our table’s ready,” he said, “if you’d like to be seated.”
“I would. I’m impressed you were able to get a reservation here on such short notice.”
He winked at her. “I know a guy. Actually, I know the brother of a guy. A former patient.”
“Ah, so you’re calling in favors.”
“For you? Absolutely.”
They looked at each other for a second. She was pleased to feel a little tingle when he put his hand on the small of her back to guide her toward the hostess. For all his talk about being the smartest guy in the room and not having social skills, Rick was charmingly smooth. She’d been nervous about having to carry the evening, but hopefully she was wrong about that.
“I’m looking forward to our dinner,” she told him.
“Excellent. That’s something else we have in common.”
They walked over to the hostess, and Rick gave his name. They were led to a corner table by the windows with a perfect view of the setting sun.
“This is nice,” she said. “I can’t remember when I last had dinner out in a restaurant this fancy.”
“You said you don’t date much. I find that hard to believe.”
She laughed. “Believe it. I’m kind of busy with my life, and I don’t, as a rule, meet many single men.” Although her reasons for not dating had a lot more to do with her previous relationship disaster than a lack of opportunity.
“I’m glad you met me,” he told her.
“Me, too. And you were very kind to buy my coffee for me.”
He brushed her comment away. “Anyone would have done it.”
She doubted that.
He leaned toward her. “I want to really get to know you, Jana. I know you work in a medical office. Tell me more.”
“Okay, I go to community college.” She paused, thinking she didn’t want to mention she was studying to be a registered nurse. Although she’d picked her path while she was pregnant with Linnie, Rick might think her choice had something to do with him.
“Right now I’m taking a calculus class that is so much harder than I expected. I guess I’m not a math person. I thought the sciences would be the problem, but I did great in chemistry and loved biology.”
“Let me know if I can help.” He flashed her a quick smile. “You’ll be shocked to know I did well in school.”
“Thanks for the offer,” she said. “I might take you up on it. Although I’m proud to say I’m maintaining a B+ average.”
“Smart and beautiful. Lucky me.”
Their server appeared and asked if they wanted something to drink.
Jana ordered a glass of white wine. Rick did the same. When their server had left, he shrugged. “I’m not on call this weekend. I don’t drink when I’m on call.”
Something she hadn’t thought of. He was a surgeon—of course he would have times when he had to be available for emergencies.
“Do you have to deal with the unexpected very often?” she asked.
“Usually just a weekend a month, although if I have a patient in critical condition, I make myself available regardless of my schedule.” He looked at her. “Does it bother you?”
“That you’d have to go deal with a health emergency? No. I think it’s admirable.”
“Good.” He smiled. “Some women don’t like that I can’t always party on demand.”
“First, I’m not a party-on-demand kind of person. Second, when you get called in, lives are on the line. Your patients trust you to be sober.”
“I knew you’d get it.” He placed his hand on hers. “What else should I know about you?”
“I have a daughter. Her name is Linnie, and she’s four.”
Rick brightened. “A kid? That’s great. I bet she’s really sweet.”
“Actually, she’s both precious and precocious. My brother has three kids who are all older than her, so Linnie is forever trying to keep up with them. She wants to grow up, and I want her to never change.” She laughed. “It’s an argument she’s winning.”
“Your face lights up when you talk about her.”
“She’s my world,” she said simply.
“You see your brother a lot?”
“I live with him.” For the first time that evening, Jana felt awkward. “It’s, ah, not a traditional arrangement, but it works for us.”
Rick listened attentively without speaking, leaving her to wonder what he was thinking. Did she sound weird? Pathetic? She told herself she had nothing to be ashamed of and yet found herself adding, “He lost his wife unexpectedly shortly after I found out I was pregnant. Moving in to help him with his kids made the most sense for both of us. When Linnie was born, he helped.”
Honestly, she couldn’t have survived those first few months without him. Visiting her brother and Valonia a few times a year, hanging out with their children, hadn’t prepared her for having a newborn.
“Family matters,” Rick told her. “I have a sister, so I get it. We’ve always been there for each other. Our dad took off when we were really young, and our mom wasn’t exactly maternal. Most of the time, it was just us. You never have to apologize for loving your family.”
She relaxed. “Thank you.”
Their server returned with their wine and asked about their orders.
“We haven’t looked at the menu yet,” Rick said. “Can you give us a minute?”
When they were alone, he raised his glass. “To the best first date ever.”
She laughed. “That’s a lot of faith. Our evening has barely started.”
His gaze locked with hers. “Sometimes you know.”
Deep in her chest, her heart gave a little sigh. Wow. Just wow.
He set down his glass. “What about Linnie’s dad? Where does he fit in all this?”
The inevitable question, Jana thought, momentarily wondering if she should lie and… No, she told herself. She was who she was, and if Rick couldn’t deal with her past, then better to find out now. She’d made mistakes, and she’d learned from them. She wasn’t exactly proud of what she’d done, but she wasn’t ashamed, either. She was simply human.
“He doesn’t,” she said quietly. “Actually, I don’t know who he is. I spent a couple of weeks in Cancun nine months before Linnie was born. There was some partying and different guys. I have no idea which one is her father.” She also didn’t know any of their last names or how to get in touch with them. It had been spring break, and she’d been out to have a good time.
She forced herself to meet Rick’s gaze, prepared for disapproval or worse. But the man shocked the crap out of her by reaching for her hand again and saying, “You’re so brave.”
“Excuse me?”
“Look at what you’ve done, all on your own. You’re raising your daughter, going to college, holding down a job. Doing all that can’t be easy.” He released her hand and smiled at her.
She stared at him, not sure what to say. “Some days it isn’t,” she murmured. “But finding out I was pregnant turned out to be a really good thing. Until then I’d been pretty directionless. Learning about Linnie gave me purpose. I moved back to LA and started getting my life together. A couple of months later, Teddy’s wife died. You know the rest of the story.”
“What did you do before you had Linnie?”
“I worked for a few nonprofits.” She picked up her wine. “I didn’t go to college. In high school, my teachers kept telling me to apply, but I wasn’t interested, and my parents were fine with that. I started out at AmeriCorps and went from there.”
His expression was blank. “I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s like the Peace Corps, but based here in the States. I joined out of high school, helping out communities with disaster preparedness and response. From there I went to work for a nonprofit that helped rebuild housing for farm workers. A few years later I was an aide in a charity hospital in Texas when the whole Cancun thing happened.”
“As a volunteer?”
She laughed. “No, I got paid. Not much, but enough to survive. Housing was usually provided. Mostly bunkhouses or tents, but there was shelter.”
“Why?”
He sounded so confused that she laughed. “Why did I do the work, or why was I okay sleeping in a tent?”
“Both.”
“The tent came with the job. As to why I would choose that as my path, it was what I wanted to do, probably because that’s how I was raised. My parents are very focused on service and giving. As we speak, they’re building schools and churches in Africa.”
“For real?”
“I swear. Volunteering and giving back is kind of in my blood. Right now I’m not doing as much as I would like, but I work a shift every week at a food bank. It’s nice. The work keeps me grounded.”
His expression sharpened. “You work in a food bank?”
“Uh-huh. Right here in Malibu.” She picked up her menu. “We should probably decide on dinner.”
Once they’d chosen their meals, he said, “Tell me about your brother.”
She shook her head. “No way. We’ve only been talking about me. I want to know more about you, Rick.”
“There’s not much to tell. I was in school a long time, and now I’m not.”
She grinned. “Yes, I know about the gifted surgeon thing. Have you ever been married?”
“Not yet, but I’d like to be. I want the usual stuff. Kids, a dog, a life partner.” He leaned toward her. “Should I entertain you with a couple of jokes now?”
She smiled. “I would love that so much.”