Chapter 18
18
It took another twenty-four hours for Rick to finally reach out. Beth lost count of the number of texts she’d sent and messages she’d left. She’d been about to stake out his condo when he finally answered. Although staring at his brief text, she thought maybe not hearing from him had been better.
Where’s the fire?
* * *
She stared at the three words, feeling her temper rise. “Where’s the fire?” she asked out loud. “Where’s the fire? You created it, Rick. You piled on the kindling and lit the match.”
She angrily stabbed out a reply.
Where do you think? I saw you with someone who isn’t Jana. That’s a big deal. We need to talk about what happened. I need to understand.
* * *
Over a minute passed before she saw the three dots that indicated he was typing his response.
I’ll be at your place about seven.
* * *
His assumption that she would simply be home, waiting, rankled, but she told herself that was the least of it. Finally she was going to get some answers. Only as she paced the living room while she waited, she found she wasn’t sure she wanted to know anything about his relationship with Galaxy. Whatever he said, it was going to be bad. Worse, once she knew the facts, she had decisions to make. Did she tell Jana? And assuming she did, then what? No one was going to be happy. For all she knew, Jana would blame her or assume she’d known from the beginning. And where Jana went, Teddy would follow, she thought grimly. She could lose both of them over this, and she hadn’t been the one screwing around.
She stopped in the middle of the living room and told herself to get a grip. Rick was on his way over, and they would talk. Once she understood the problem, they could work together to solve it.
She thought briefly of texting her aunt to ask her to come home from her dinner out with friends, but then decided against it. Rick and Agatha didn’t always get along, plus she could get her aunt’s advice later. Okay, first she would have to explain what she’d seen, because so far she hadn’t said a word to anyone. She hadn’t wanted to try to describe what she’d witnessed.
It had to be a mistake, she told herself as she resumed pacing. Maybe she’d misunderstood. Although they’d been so intimate and Galaxy had said something about “finally meeting her” or however she’d phrased it. That implied she and Rick had known each other a while. Plus the kissing. And the perfume she’d smelled.
After what felt like forever, she heard his car in the driveway and hurried to the front door. She had it open before he reached the porch stairs.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he walked inside and stopped in front of her. “I’m really sorry.”
Good words, but honestly they weren’t nearly enough.
“No,” she snapped. “Just no. You don’t get to be sorry. What the hell are you doing? You’re cheating on Jana?”
He sat on the sofa and dropped his head. “I know.”
“You know. You know ? I don’t get it. How could you do that? When did you learn to do that? You’re in a great relationship. You like Jana. You act happy when you’re with her. But all this time, you’re cheating on her with someone else? You’ve always been such a good guy. When did you become the asshole brother?”
“Yeah, I know. It’s bad.” He looked at her with regret in his eyes. “Beth, I’m sorry. I messed up.”
“Yes, you did.” She glared at him. “Jana’s my friend. A good friend. I care about her, and I don’t want her to get hurt. At the same time, I’m dating her brother. We are all connected in this, and I just found out that you’ve got some chickie on the side. Ignoring how that’s tacky, I’m dealing with a little disappointment about my brother’s character, not to mention the complete cluster-you-know-what this could make of my life.”
She put her hands on her hips. “I’m trapped in the middle. Do I tell? Do I not tell?”
She absolutely didn’t want to say anything to anyone. Because when this hit the fan—and it was sure going to—her relationship with Jana could very well be on the line.
“What about what happens to me?” she asked, continuing that line of thought. “Do you think Jana is going to believe me when I tell her I knew nothing about Galaxy?” She stomped away, then swung back to face him. “Galaxy? What kind of name is that?”
“Her father’s an astrophysicist at Caltech.”
She wanted to scream. “I don’t need to know that, and it’s so not the point.”
He frowned. “But you asked.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re cheating on Jana. I don’t get it. I thought your relationship with her was important to you.”
She knew she was ranting and starting to repeat herself, but she didn’t know how to get through to him. Nothing about this situation made sense.
“It’s like I don’t even know you,” she said quietly, then sank into one of the chairs.
He looked at her, his face stricken. “You’re right,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I messed up so bad. I made a huge mistake, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
The fear and contrition combined with the helpless, worried expression in his eyes eased some of her concern.
“I wasn’t thinking,” he admitted, staring helplessly at her. “I’m not an asshole.”
“You sure about that?”
He shook his head. “No, but I don’t want to be.”
She slid to the edge of her seat. “Tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know.”
She glared at him. “Don’t play me, Rick. This is serious. Other people’s lives are involved.”
He ducked his head in shame. “You’re right. When I said I didn’t know what happened, I wasn’t being flippant. I’m not sure when it all changed.”
He looked at her. “You know Jana. She’s wonderful and so beautiful. I can’t believe she’s going out with me. I like being with her, and I like Linnie a lot.” He hesitated. “I have feelings for Jana.”
Which, she was pretty sure, translated to he was falling in love with her.
“Galaxy works at the urgent care place in the same building as our Santa Monica location. That’s where we met. We’d just say hi, but she started asking me about my day and stuff.” He shifted uncomfortably as he spoke.
“You’re saying she was flirting with you.”
Rick nodded. “She’s so pretty and outgoing. I was surprised she even noticed me.”
He’d been in over his head, she thought. Charmed by the attention of a beautiful woman. She could see it happening. Rick didn’t have the experience to see what he was doing was wrong. After a lifetime of being the guy women overlooked, suddenly he was sought-after. That would be heady stuff.
He sighed heavily. “At first we were just talking. You know, like friends. But then one thing led to another, and suddenly we were seeing each other.”
“Seeing as in…” She stared at him. “Holy crap, are you sleeping with both of them?”
Rick nodded slowly.
Beth stood and walked the length of the living room. Her heart was pounding, her head hurt and she was barely able to breathe. Rick was having sex with two different women? No, it was so much worse than that. He was having sex with her friend/her boyfriend’s sister and with another woman.
“This can’t be happening,” she whispered. “It can’t. After all the shit I’ve been through, I finally have everything I want. A friendship that matters and a wonderful man. I’m going to lose both of them because my brother suddenly decided to get an ego and act like a dick?”
She spun to face him. “You’re going to ruin this for me, aren’t you? My friendship with Jana is on the line and I’m falling for Teddy, and you’re going to make it all go away.”
“I’m not, Beth. I swear. I wouldn’t do that to you. And I’m not a bad person.” He drew in a breath. “It just happened.”
“Then it has to unhappen. Jana is my friend. I can’t not tell her what you’re doing. The guy she’s excited to go away with is sleeping with someone else. That’s not okay.” She crossed to him and glared at him. “Ignoring the whole moral ‘this is wrong’ aspect of what you’re doing, you in no way have the emotional experience to be juggling two women. You were bound to get caught and have it blow up in your face. The question is, what do you do now?”
He stared at her blankly. “What do you mean?”
“You can’t keep seeing them both. Your actions are wrong, and you’re hurting people by what you’re doing. Just as bad, you’re hurting yourself. Either you tell Jana or I will.” The third alternative was that he broke up with Galaxy and they never spoke of this again, but Beth wasn’t sure she wanted to be responsible for keeping that kind of secret.
Rick stared at her for several seconds, then nodded as he came to his feet.
“You’re right. I got caught in something, which isn’t an excuse, Beth. I was wrong. I’ve hurt Jana, but I’ve also hurt you, and I never wanted to do that. I’m going to break up with Galaxy. Jana’s the one I want to be with. She’s the miracle.”
Beth felt tension ease inside of her. “You swear?”
He made an X over his heart. “I want Jana to be the one.” He pressed his lips together. “Are you going to tell her?”
Beth’s stomach sank as she realized what he was asking. Was she going to tell her friend what she’d seen? Was she going to tell her boyfriend that his sister was dating someone who’d cheated on her? Didn’t she owe them the truth?
She stared at her brother. Rick stood there, watching her, not saying anything. He seemed ready to accept whatever punishment she demanded, even if it meant losing Jana, because that was what would happen. Jana would dump him and Teddy would dump Beth and everyone would be hurt and nothing would be right again.
She thought about how when Rick had been a scrawny kid, she’d been the one to take on the bullies who tormented him. How on the nights when their mother was gone and they were alone and scared, he climbed into bed with her and hung on while she promised she would protect him forever. She thought about how she’d brought him food when he’d been cramming to pass classes in medical school. How when she walked into his tiny apartment, he would be so lost in his homework that he would stare at her blankly for a second, then give her the smile she knew so well. She thought of how proud she’d been when he’d graduated from medical school.
He was her brother, and she’d always been there for him. He was her responsibility. They were family, and she loved him more than anyone in the world. She always had. Her gaze settled on the faint scar on his cheek. The reminder that when he’d been only ten years old, he’d risked his life to save her.
“Give me your word you’ll break up with Galaxy,” she murmured.
“You have my word. I’m doing it today.”
She drew in a breath. “Then I won’t say anything.”
He rushed toward her and hugged her tight. “Thank you, Beth. Thank you. I’m sorry for what I did. It was wrong. So wrong. I’ll never do anything like that again. I swear.”
She hugged him back, already regretting her decision. Because although Rick wasn’t a natural born cheater, she wasn’t someone who lied comfortably. She also knew that in some deep, dark place in her soul, she’d made the most expedient decision rather than the moral one. If she kept quiet, Jana stayed her friend and Teddy remained in her life. But at what price? And what would happen if the truth ever came out?
* * *
While Beth had been dreading Teddy’s weeklong health seminar, she had to admit that it couldn’t have come at a better time. His long hours speaking and his drive in from the Valley every day meant they couldn’t see each other, and their daily conversations were limited to quick late-night check-in calls. Although even those had been perilous—at least from her end. She was constantly worried that he would hear something in her voice and want to know if she was okay. Answering that would mean lying yet again, because she was about as far from okay as it was possible to be.
She felt awful. Guilty, confused, angry. Yes, Rick had been remorseful and had broken things off with Galaxy. In fact, he’d texted her that it was done the morning after he’d come over. But somehow that wasn’t enough. She was still having trouble reconciling the man she knew with the player who’d been sleeping with two women at the same time. Ignoring the ick factor, when had he learned how to do that? It required a certain confidence, not to mention logistical planning. The brother she knew could barely keep food in his refrigerator.
She remembered Agatha telling her that Rick was far more capable than she was willing to see. Back then she’d brushed off the comment, but now, lying in her bed and waiting for Teddy’s late-night call, she wondered if she should have listened to her aunt.
Her phone rang. In the second before she answered, she pressed a hand to her chest, assessing her own emotions. She was two parts excited and one part racked with guilt about speaking to Teddy.
“Hi,” she said. “How exhausted are you?”
He gave a low chuckle that sent waves of desire rippling through her. “I’m barely hanging on, but just one more day and I’m done. Next time I’m asked to teach at one of these events, please remind me to say no.”
“Too many people wanting too much of your time and emotional energy?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m not like you. I don’t like big groups. I do better one-on-one.”
“I’m not a big group person.”
“You’re way more of an extrovert than I am.”
Was that how he saw her? She considered herself quiet and a little shy. But she did enjoy spending time with people. Her staff and customers were the best part of her day at Surf Sandwiches. She could never be comfortable spending hours by herself, working in solitude.
“Are you in bed?”
The unexpected question made her smile. “I’m not sure you have the energy for that kind of phone call.”
“You’re right. I was trying to picture you, not make a play for phone sex.”
She heard the smile in his voice. “Yes, I’m in bed.”
“Good. Me, too. I’d rather be in your bed, though. Just give me a couple of days to get through this.”
“How are the kids doing?” she asked. “I know they’re missing you.”
“They’re good. Dex has stepped in to help, just like always. We’ve got to find that guy someone. He’s been alone for too long.”
“I’m surprised he isn’t fighting off women everywhere he goes. He’s Dex Sanders.” He wasn’t for her, but she could sure get the appeal.
“He used to be into volume, but not anymore. Now he’s waiting for the right person. Have any single friends who might be interested?”
“No, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be comfortable setting up anyone. It’s too much responsibility.”
Which was exactly the wrong thing to say, she thought grimly as she remembered what Rick had done and how she was keeping secrets from both Teddy and Jana. She searched frantically for a different topic.
“Oh, I didn’t tell you that when Dex brought the kids by for lunch the other day, Magnolia apologized for asking me all those questions at the barbecue.” She lowered her voice. “I didn’t mind at all. She wasn’t intrusive, she was worried. I’m new, and you’re her dad. It’s okay for her to ask.”
“She grilled you.”
“In a sweet and funny way. I was fine with it, but regardless, she apologized. I wanted you to know.”
“Thanks. She’s a good kid.”
“She is. They all are. We discussed three was too many, but we couldn’t decide who to let go.”
“That would be a tough one,” he agreed with a chuckle, then yawned. “Sorry.”
“No, you’re exhausted. We’re going to hang up now, and you’re going to get some sleep.”
“You sure?”
“I am. Only a couple more days and then you can have your regular life back.”
“And my girl,” he said, his voice sleepy. “I can’t wait. Talk to you soon. Night.”
“Night, Teddy.”
She ended the call and put the phone on the nightstand. Guilt gnawed at her, making her question her decision to keep Rick’s tawdry secret. Damn him for not being able to keep his dick in his pants in the first place—something she still couldn’t reconcile with the man she knew. He didn’t seem the type, although apparently he was.
She flopped back on her pillow and stared at the ceiling. Talking to Teddy was one thing, but facing Jana was going to be another. How was she supposed to sit across from her friend and pretend everything was fine between them?
She clicked on the lamp by her bed, then grabbed her phone. She quickly sent a note to the volunteer coordinator saying she wouldn’t be able to make it in for her shift tomorrow. Her guilt multiplied, but she ignored it. In the morning, she would text Jana and make up a reason for not being at the food bank. Then she would spend her day trying to do good for others to make up for the crappy way she was living her life.
***
Jana finished the simple addition, then crossed both fingers and hit the solve button on her calculus online program. Instantly the screen filled with the correct way to reach the solution. She compared her handwritten answer and gave a loud “Yes!” when she saw she’d gotten the answer right. Twice she’d been tripped up not by the complicated math necessary to work the issue, but by the adding and subtracting at the end. Not the end of the world as she would get partial credit by showing her work, but still. It was gratifying to nail it.
She still had time until her last test, but with her weekend away with Rick coming up, she wanted to make sure she stayed on track with her study schedule.
She tossed down her pencil so she could stand and stretch. According to her instructor, if she got an A on the final, she would be able to earn an A in the class. She’d turned in all the homework assignments to get the extra points, and they might be enough to push her over the top. When class had started, her goal had been to get a B, but knowing she was close to an A made her want to try harder.
She’d come a long way, she thought happily. Not just with calculus but with her life. Five years ago she’d been pregnant and scared and living with the shame of not knowing who had fathered Linnie. That combination of unsettling emotions and a grim reality had forced her to take a look at her life. She’d been determined to do better, to grow as a person so she could raise a happy and healthy child.
Now she was completing her AA degree, and in the fall she would start nursing school. She had a plan and she was making it happen. Linnie was thriving. Just as exciting, her daughter was watching her figure out her goals and then work hard to make them happen. A priceless lesson she would always remember.
There was also the little matter of finally finding a good guy. Rick was so sweet and caring. He was sending her funny little countdown messages about their trip. He’d moved from days to hours. She was pretty sure he would start counting in seconds as the date got closer.
The front door opened. “It’s me,” Teddy called.
“In the kitchen.”
He walked in. “Hey. How’s the calculus homework going?”
She smiled. “Pretty good. I think there’s a decent chance I’m a genius.”
He laughed. “Good for you.”
She glanced at him. He looked exhausted, thin and pale, with dark circles under his eyes.
“Have you eaten?” she asked, heading for the refrigerator.
“I’d rather just go to bed.”
“No, you’re going to eat first. How many more days?”
“Saturday’s the end of the seminar. Unfortunately it’s the day everything is open to the public.”
Meaning he would be scrambling with even bigger crowds. Teddy might not like being a celebrated speaker, but he was good at giving talks on acupuncture and alternative medicine. He had an easy and engaging style, no doubt because of his years of acting.
“All the more reason you need to eat. Dex took the kids out for Italian and ordered extra for both of us.” She smiled at him. “The lasagna is excellent, by the way. You’ll want some of that.”
“Thanks.” He sank onto a stool at the big island, then turned to her and frowned. “Didn’t you have dinner with Beth tonight? It’s your food bank day.”
“She couldn’t make her shift.” She held up a hand as her brother immediately came to his feet, ready to do battle over whatever was wrong.
“She’s fine,” she added. “She’s having a bad period. It’s a girl thing and it happens. She just needs time.”
“What makes a period bad?”
“Usually cramping. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it hurts a lot.”
“Should I go see her?”
Jana thought of her own occasional bouts with a difficult “time of the month.” Ibuprofen and a heating pad were how she got through.
“Let her deal with this on her own,” she advised. “She’s not feeling her best, and the last thing she wants to do is worry about grossing you out.”
“I was there when all three of the kids were born. I can’t be grossed out.”
“Yeah, you saying that and her feeling it are two different things. Like I said, just let her be.”
He sat back down on the stool. “You’re the expert on the topic.”
“I am.” She slid lasagna and the rest of the chicken parmesan onto a plate and put it in the microwave. While it heated, she put the leftover salad into a bowl and added dressing.
Teddy got himself a beer from the fridge then held up an open bottle of white wine. She nodded, and he poured her a glass.
“So, you’re ready for your calculus final?” he asked.
“So ready that I’m thinking I should switch and become a math major.”
He grinned. “Good for you. I’m proud of you, kid. You work hard and you get results.”
“I’m feeling a little smug myself.”
She was in a good place with so much of her life, she thought happily.
The microwave beeped. She got out the plate and put it in front of Teddy. “Eat.”
“Thanks.”
For a minute or two there was only silence as he dug into his dinner. She wondered if he bothered to feed himself during his long days and figured the answer to that was no. When he was out of his regular routine, he went into caretaker mode, and at a big event, there were far too many people who desperately wanted his time and attention.
Only a couple more days, she told herself. Then he would be home, and Beth could work her magic on him. The kids were going to want to hang out with their dad for sure, but Jana was confident he would make time for both.
“Why are you smiling?” he asked.
“I’m thinking funny thoughts,” she told him. “I’m good at entertaining myself that way.”
“It’s a gift.” He studied her. “You okay about me and Beth?”
“Yes. I was just thinking she’s good for you. Why would you worry?”
“She’s your friend. I’m your brother. You’re dating her brother. It’s complicated.”
“It’s very LA, and yes, it’s all good. I’ve been waiting for you to be healed enough to find someone to care about. I’m happy that’s where you are.”
“You never set her up with Dex,” he said.
“Why would I do that?”
“He’s single. She’s single. It seems like a natural fit.”
“Beth and Dex?” She shook her head. “I don’t see it at all.” She smiled. “Besides, now she’s taken.”
“That she is, and tell Dex not to forget it.”
“I’m pretty sure he already knows.”