Chapter 19
19
“Jana told me about your period being bad,” Teddy said , his voice warm with concern. “She says I should just let you be and see you on Sunday like we planned, only I happen to be a skilled practitioner when it comes to acupuncture, and that can help.”
Beth felt her eyes start to burn. She wasn’t much of a crier, but lately her emotions had been right at the surface. While she desperately wanted to see Teddy, she was terrified to actually be face-to-face with him. How could they be in the same room without her blurting out what she’d seen and what Rick had done? She hated knowing she had to lie. It was her nature to be honest, but her brother had made that impossible.
No, she thought grimly. Not Rick. The decision to keep quiet had been hers. If he hadn’t agreed to stop seeing Galaxy, she would have come clean, but once he’d admitted what he was doing was wrong, she’d felt obligated to protect him.
There was probably a bit of self-interest in there, too, she admitted, if only to herself. Because spilling the truth put her relationship with Teddy at risk.
“I appreciate the offer,” she said, her voice low. “But I’m going to pass. Give me a day or two and I’ll be fine.”
She silently winced as she lied, knowing one reason she couldn’t see Teddy was the fact that she didn’t have her period. Being around him was a huge temptation, and if she gave in, he would quickly figure out she’d lied.
Yet another reason she preferred to live her life in a straightforward manner. It was so much easier.
“I’ll do whatever you want,” he said. “But I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. So much.” She needed to see him and hold him. Being around him would make her world right itself.
“Sunday for sure,” he told herself. “I’ll be tired, but I need to see you.”
“I need to see you, too.”
“Good. Then next weekend, we’re all hanging out while Jana takes off with Rick.”
Beth clutched her phone. He was right—next weekend was the big getaway. Her stomach churned as she thought of all the things that could go wrong. What if Rick blurted out the truth? What if Jana guessed? What if…
She cleared her throat. “I’m a little nervous about all the kid time, but you’ve promised to help me through it.” Because she was going to spend much of the weekend with Teddy and the four kids. Not the night—neither of them was ready for that. But Friday evening and all day Saturday and Sunday. Teddy had promised Dex would be with them for much of it, so she was pretty sure she would be all right. If nothing else, it would be an interesting test for their relationship.
“I will,” he said. “And now I’m going to let you get some sleep. Talk soon?”
“Yes. Night, Teddy.”
They hung up. She put the phone on her nightstand. It was still relatively early in the evening. She should do something with her time. Maybe laundry, or she could clean her bathroom. Anything to take her mind off the lies she’d told the man she was falling for.
Only none of those options sounded right, and before she could realize what was happening, tears filled her eyes. They seemed to come from nowhere, and suddenly she was crying and she couldn’t seem to stop. She covered her face with her hands and gave in to all the undefined emotions swirling inside of her. She was lost and anxious and angry and so afraid, and the worst part was, none of it was her fault. At least, it hadn’t been until she’d decided to keep Rick’s secret.
“Whatever it is, we’ll handle it together,” Agatha said, walking into her room and sitting next to her on the bed. She put her arm around Beth and hung on. “Just let go. Crying can be cathartic. We’ll deal with the swollen eyes and running nose later.”
The unexpected comment made her laugh, which turned into a hiccup. Her aunt pressed tissues into her hand.
“Wipe your face. Then let’s go to the living room and talk.” She paused. “I know you didn’t go to the food bank today. Are you sick? Should I make chicken soup? Or do you want herbal tea to settle your stomach?”
Beth looked at the woman who had welcomed her into her home with all the love in her heart. “Maybe something stronger.”
“I have that, too.”
When they were seated across from each other, a small brandy beside each of them and a tissue box carefully within reach of Beth’s chair, Agatha leaned toward her.
“Just blurt it out. Whatever you have to say is fine. I know a good lawyer, and a friend of your uncle’s used to be a detective. The airport is less than thirty minutes away. We can have you on a flight to Mexico by midnight.”
“I appreciate the attempt at humor,” Beth told her. “I’m fine.”
“I wasn’t being funny. Surprisingly, Alaska Airlines has the best flight to Cabo. You wouldn’t guess it from their name.”
Beth knew her aunt was trying to ease the tension and make her feel comfortable talking about whatever the problem was. That was Agatha’s way.
“It’s not me,” she said. “I’m not sick or anything. It’s Rick. He’s been cheating on Jana.”
Agatha’s wide-eyed stare was more than a little gratifying. “Your brother is cheating on his new girlfriend?”
“I couldn’t believe it, either.” Beth explained about how she’d seen them and how Galaxy had known who she was and had been excited to meet her.
“I was horrified and stunned,” Beth admitted. “Not just because that isn’t who he is but because of how it affects my relationship with Jana. She’s my friend. I need her in my life.”
Agatha went white. “You’re right. She matters to you. Oh, dear. What about Teddy?”
“I know. I’m terrified either of them will find out.” Beth clutched her brandy. “Everything is so messed up.”
“And entwined, and now Rick has blown up the whole thing.”
A mixed metaphor but an accurate description.
“What happened when you confronted him?” Agatha asked. “Did he try to deny it?”
“He couldn’t. He knew I’d seen him. He sort of fell apart. He really got what he’d been doing was wrong and felt awful about the mistakes he’d made.”
Agatha picked up her drink. “Somehow I doubt that.”
“No, he was remorseful. He said he was breaking things off with Galaxy.”
“That name.”
“He said her father works at Caltech.”
“I don’t care if he works on Mars, it’s a ridiculous name, but not the point. So Rick is going to stay with Jana, dump Galaxy and all is well? I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”
“It’s not.” Beth thought of all she’d been wrestling with. “I know Rick is sorry.”
“You sure about that?”
“He’s texted me about fifteen times, telling me how wrong he was.” She looked at her aunt. “I don’t think he really meant to cheat. He said Galaxy was flirting and things just happened. A beautiful woman coming on to him would be a big deal for him.”
“You’re saying he was flattered?” Agatha didn’t sound convinced. “Or that it was an accident?”
“Not exactly, but he doesn’t have much experience when it comes to women, and until Jana, he’s always chosen so badly.”
“He has a lot more experience than you know. The man carried on an affair for who knows how long, and if you hadn’t caught him in the act, you wouldn’t have known. No one gets it that right the first time.”
Beth didn’t want to think about that. “He’s sorry he messed up, and he’s stopped seeing her. So everything is fine.”
“If it was fine, you wouldn’t have been crying in your bedroom earlier. You’re scared, and you don’t like that you have to cover for his lie.”
Beth ducked her head. “Something like that.” She drew in a breath. “Part of me thinks I need to tell the truth, but if I do…”
“Everything could fall apart. Jana would be hurt. You could lose Teddy.”
“I just found them,” Beth said, her voice pleading. “Things are so good right now. Jana’s a wonderful friend, and Teddy is…he’s perfect.” He was amazing, and she loved how she felt when she was around him. “We’re just getting to the good part.”
“Plus Rick’s your brother,” Agatha said flatly. “If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t feel torn, but it’s Rick, and you’ve always taken care of him.”
“What would you do if you were me?”
“Kick Rick to the curb.” Agatha held up her hand. “I didn’t mean that, exactly. I understand the dilemma. If he’s no longer seeing Galaxy and he’s committed to Jana, then I guess you just move forward. It was wrong of your brother to put you in this position, though. I knew he was more than we all guessed, but I never would have thought he was a player.”
“He’s not.”
“You saw him, my dear. You have physical proof. It might be time to accept your brother isn’t exactly who you thought.”
Not possible. Rick was who he’d always been. Maybe a little older and slightly more together, but not anyone who was capable of real deception. Not in the long term. What had happened with Galaxy was…a mistake. He’d said so.
Only as she did her best to convince herself, there was a tiny part of her that wasn’t so willing to believe. That same part worried that if any of this came out, it would be so much worse at a future date than it would be now. More would be on the line—more feelings, more hearts, more lives.
But to tell was to betray her brother. Her whole life she’d taken care of him—there was no way she could stop doing that now. Not for anything.
* * *
Jana ran her hand along the smooth, soft leather of the passenger seat. Every time she got into Rick’s sleek sports car, she was transported to a different world. There was nothing practical about the vehicle. It was low, it was fast and it was beautiful. Totally unrealistic for a single mom or just about anyone. Plus she was sure it had cost more than she made in a year. However, it was nice, and she liked the way it still smelled new.
“I’m excited about our weekend away,” Rick told her as he headed north on the 101 freeway. “You’ve been working hard with your classes and your job. Getting away will be good for you.”
“I’ve been counting the days,” she admitted, watching him drive. His attention was fully on the road, and she knew he was paying attention to traffic. Rick was all about the details.
“Getting ready for finals is always exhausting,” she added. “This time more so because I wanted to be able to take the weekend off without worrying about school. But it will be worth it.”
He gave her a quick, warm glance. “I hope so.”
“I’m not worried at all.”
“Once finals are done, you’re taking the summer off?” he asked.
“I’m working, but I’ll be done with school. Technically I’ll have my associate’s degree.” She thought about the emails she’d been receiving from the college. “There’s a graduation, but I don’t know how I feel about going to it. I signed up to go, but I might change my mind. I kind of think I want to wait and just go to the one at UCLA.” She wrinkled her nose. “Teddy wants me to walk in the community college one. What do you think?”
“It’s just community college. I’m surprised they even have a graduation ceremony.”
His answer startled her. “For a lot of people, an associate’s degree is a big deal. There are many programs that don’t require a four-year degree, so for them, this is the only graduation they’re going to have. It’s a rite of passage, and—”
Some of her energy dissipated as she realized he was smiling. “What?” she asked.
“You have a lot to say on the topic. Maybe that’s your answer.”
She laughed. “Okay, so you said what you did to get a reaction out of me. I get it. And I hadn’t thought of it that way. Maybe I do care more than I thought. Plus it will be something Linnie will remember. That’s important.”
“A kid’s memories are forever.” He glanced at her, then back at the road. “Can I come?”
Deep in her chest, something fluttered. “To my graduation? Do you want to?”
“Yeah, I do. I think it would be cool to be a part of that.”
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
“So, decision made.”
She leaned back in the comfy seat. “How many graduations have you had? Twenty-seven?”
He chuckled. “Just two. College and medical school. There wasn’t anything after my fellowships.” His expression turned self-deprecating. “Except, you know, job offers.”
“Better than a certificate.”
“I thought so.”
“Medical school must have been expensive. I’m sweating nursing school and I have financial aid. You had what? A grant, plus the money Beth gave you and the money your uncle paid?”
“I had a scholarship for my bachelor’s. A mentor helped me get the money for medical school.”
“I thought Beth gave you her culinary school money.”
“She did. It was a few thousand and Uncle Dale gave me close to fifty thousand, but the rest came from a mentor.”
He sounded casual about the whole thing—especially Beth’s contribution. “But that money was all she had, and she gave up her dream of cooking school for you.”
Rick shook his head. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t dismissing what she did. It was great. I was saying it costs a lot of money to get through. I had help, and I’m grateful.”
Which sounded better, she thought. Sometimes Rick really didn’t say it right, but his heart seemed to be in a good place.
“She has the sandwich shop now,” she said. “It’s such a great business.”
“She’s happy there, and that’s what matters.” He looked at her. “You make me happy.”
“I’m glad.”
“I hope you like the hotel and the plans I made. If you want to change anything, we can. I just want you to have a good time.”
He sounded so sincere, and he’d gone to a lot of trouble to get it all right, she thought. “I’m sure everything will be perfect.”
He laughed. “Nobody’s perfect, Jana. You come close, but the rest of us just struggle to get by.”
“I’m as flawed as everyone else.”
“I don’t believe that, but if it’s true, you hide it well.”
* * *
The first time Beth had seen the media room at Teddy’s house, she’d thought it was plenty big. The sectional was huge, with lots of cushions and areas to stretch out. Saturday night, caught in a pile of kids that had Orchid on one side of her and Linnie on the other, she had to admit there was a whole lot less room than she would have thought. It didn’t help that Teddy and Dex were both big guys who liked to sprawl.
But she wasn’t really complaining, she thought as Linnie snuggled closer. Hanging out with the kids was really fun. She appreciated how they’d accepted her as Teddy’s girlfriend. Even Magnolia had stopped asking questions and was now comfortable simply treating her like an adult friend.
Every now and then she glanced over at Teddy, unable to believe such an amazing man was in her life. Every time she saw him, she was drawn in just a little more, as if her heart was expanding to contain all her feelings. It was way too soon for her to be thinking the L word, but she knew she was well on her way to falling hard. He was everything she’d ever wanted and more.
And she’d come so close to losing him.
Her chest tightened at the thought, and she forced herself away from the disaster that was her brother’s cheating. Guilt still plagued her, making her want to squirm in her seat. Instead she focused on the adventures of Riley and her band of emotions in Inside Out 2 . Humorously, she could totally relate to the upset of the established emotions when new ones appeared. She would never have guessed that she could feel disgust for her brother. He’d been such a fool.
She glanced at Teddy, who caught her eye and smiled at her. Heat instantly flared. She pushed it away and returned her attention to the movie.
Given the choice between her friend and the man she was falling for and her brother, she’d never actually had a choice to make. She just hoped he never put her in that position again. If he’d learned his lesson, they could move on, and all would be well.
Beth’s phone buzzed. Magnolia immediately paused the movie while everyone looked at Beth expectantly. Jana had been texting regularly, sending pictures of her day. Her new text showed a picture of a huge slice of chocolate cake with shavings on the side and what looked like scrollwork done in some yummy frosting.
“I’m jealous for sure,” Beth said, passing her phone around. “That looks delicious.”
“I want one,” Linnie said, a faint whine in her voice.
Dex touched her nose. “We have brownies and ice cream. I think that’s better than cake.”
“It is,” Magnolia said, handing the phone to her dad. “Sometimes chocolate cake can be dry.”
“Good point.” Teddy passed the phone back. “You should tell her we’re worried the cake won’t be good.”
“I will.”
Beth texted their concern, adding she hoped they were having a good time. Jana sent back heart emojis.
“Speaking of brownies,” Teddy said. “How about we have dessert now before it gets too late?”
There were loud shrieks of agreement as the kids raced from the media room to the kitchen. Beth and Dex followed more slowly.
“How are you holding up?” he asked. “It’s been an intense day and a half.”
She’d arrived about three the previous afternoon and had stayed until the kids were in bed, then had returned early that morning.
“There is an element of being thrown in the deep end,” she admitted. “But I’m having fun.”
“You’re good with them. You don’t try too hard. You’re just yourself.”
She flushed at the unexpected compliment. “Thank you. I like all four of them. Their personalities are so distinct, which is fun. You’re a wonderful uncle. Teddy and Jana would be lost without you.”
“They’re family. Where else would I be?”
“You and Jana were never an item?”
Dex offered a faint smile. “No.”
“Not your type?”
“Something like that.”
They walked into the kitchen to find Teddy expertly cutting up the tray of brownies that Beth and the kids had made that afternoon. Magnolia had already collected dishes while Atlas got the ice cream out of the freezer.
The next few minutes were a cacophony of “she got more” and “I want whipped cream” until everyone settled down with their dessert.
Beth enjoyed sitting at the large kitchen table and being a part of the evening. Her growing up had never been like this. When her mom had been alive, more often than not it had just been her and Rick, with their mom off on some adventure that didn’t include them. After she’d died, Beth and Rick had been in different foster care homes. There had been plenty of children around, but Beth had never felt as if she belonged. No, that wasn’t right, she mentally amended. She’d never felt safe.
This was different. Not only was she an adult and able to take care of herself, but Teddy and his kids and Jana and Linnie and Dex were a family. It would always be safe here.
“You haven’t seen my room,” Orchid said, pointing at her.
“Mine, either.” Linnie pushed her empty bowl onto the table and stood. “Come see!” She paused, then grinned and added, “Please.”
“Rooms it is.” Teddy came to his feet. “Youngest to oldest.”
He moved close and added in a low voice, “Any interest in seeing mine?”
She knew he was teasing—they’d already agreed she wouldn’t be spending the night. But his words made her insides quiver in anticipation. She was ready for a little one-on-one time with the man. The things he did to her still left her gasping and boneless and wondering how she’d been doing it so very wrong for all those years.
They all trooped down the hall to Linnie’s room. It was big and bright, done in shades of lavender. Circular shelves in the corner provided storage for her stuffed animal collection.
“Dex made these for me,” Linnie said, running to the shelves and tossing several toys onto the floor so Beth could see. “They fit right into the corner and everything.”
Beth smiled at him. “Impressive.”
“I have skills.”
Teddy surprised her by stepping between them and putting his arm around her. “Yeah, yeah, no talking to the handsome actor.”
She knew he was teasing and hoped that was all it was. There weren’t words to describe how little interest she had in Dex.
After looking at the desk where Linnie planned to do her future homework, they all went to the other end of the house.
“We made some modifications after we lost Valonia,” Teddy said. “It’s not really a traditional floor plan anymore.”
“We all got a say,” Magnolia added. “We stayed with Dex while the work was done, and then we moved back home.”
Beth wasn’t sure what to expect. They walked past Teddy’s bedroom, and she was careful not to look in. Instead she focused on the arched doorway that led to a big, open flex space. There were three desks and a couple of sofas. Bookshelves were overflowing with books and board games. The carpeting was plush—the kind that invited sprawling and play.
Orchid grabbed her hand. “Start with my room!”
They went into the door on the left. The big bedroom had high ceilings and a large window with a window seat. The walls were yellow, the bedding a bright green. Through the far door was a sink, and beyond that was the shared tub-shower combo with a toilet. They kept going to another sink, then a room exactly like Orchid’s, but this one was done in blues. Beth guessed from the sports-themed bedspread and the football mural that this was Atlas’s room. From there they walked through another shared bathroom and into Magnolia’s room done in all shades of pink.
Beth returned to the flex space and realized each room was connected with the others and the family room they all shared. There was privacy, yet no one had to be alone.
“It’s a brilliant design,” she said.
“It works for us,” Teddy told her. “Planning it, figuring out what we wanted, helped get us through. We had to add on a little and mess up the roof line, but it was worth it.”
She looked at the kids, then at Teddy. As she’d thought before, they were a unit. They’d found their way through a dark time, and now they were healed. There were still the scars—those would always be there—but the kids were whole and thriving.
“We have pictures,” Orchid said, pulling her to one of the sofas. “Of all of us. Come see!”
Teddy stopped her from running over to the bookcase. “Beth doesn’t need to see the photo albums right now.”
“Why not?” Orchid asked.
Beth smiled at him. “I’m fine with it. I love a good photo album journey.”
Orchid cheered, then pulled one off the shelf and hurried to the sofa. She set it on Beth’s lap.
“This is the story of me!”
There were pictures of a very pregnant Valonia, then Orchid as a newborn. Beth wanted to linger over the former, but Orchid flipped the pages before she could do much more than glance at the images. There were photos of all the usual events. Atlas went next, then Magnolia. Each album was a little longer than the one before. Dex helped Linnie get the album from her room so Beth could see the story of her life. When she saw a very pregnant and scared Jana, her heart went out to her friend. She’d been so alone back then. Teddy and Valonia had been her only lifeline, and then she’d lost her sister-in-law.
“One more,” Orchid said when Beth had finished.
She took the album, but before she could open it, Teddy was hurrying toward her. “You don’t have to look at that.”
She saw the two names etched on the front and immediately knew this one had nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with Teddy and Valonia’s love story.
“It’s our mom,” Orchid told her.
Magnolia sat next to Beth. “She was really beautiful. Everyone said so.”
Beth looked at Teddy. “It’s okay.” She opened the album.
The pictures were stunning. A very young Valonia on what Beth would guess was an early date with Teddy. They barely looked twenty, but were probably a couple of years older. There were candid shots at the beach, a couple of ski trips, then a formal engagement portrait.
Magnolia offered a running commentary, as if she’d been at all the events, but no doubt her information came from having been told the same stories over and over again.
There were pictures of the wedding and a tropical honeymoon. There were Christmases and birthdays, pregnancies and births. Then Beth turned a page, and there was only the program from her funeral. An abrupt ending to a life cut short.
“Thank you for showing me all the pictures of your mom,” she told the kids. “I feel like I know her better.”
Dex pulled a couple of books out of the bookshelf. “I’m in the mood for a story. Who wants me to read?”
“Me! Me!”
The children shifted their attention from the album to where Dex was holding up different books.
“I want lots of voices,” Linnie said. “Do the one about the wolf and his hat.”
In less than a minute, the mood had shifted, and the four children were sitting in front of Dex while he half read, half acted out the story.
While his friend entertained, Teddy quietly put the albums away, then took a seat next to Beth. He put his arm around her, and she leaned against him, breathing in the scent of him.
Getting involved with him was complicated, she thought. All those lives intertwined, all the grief the family had dealt with. She was unequipped to deal with everything the kids were going through, but in her heart, she knew she wanted to try. Whatever was happening between her and Teddy, it created the most powerful emotions she’d ever felt.
Worry tried to creep in, but she pushed it away. Rick had done what he’d done, but he’d learned his lesson. She knew he was sorry to have come so close to losing what was most important. They were all moving forward, and everything would be fine.
She stayed through the bedtime ritual. Once all the bedroom doors were closed and Dex had left, she smiled up at Teddy.
“That was intense, but in a good way. Thanks for including me.”
She had more to say. She was going to mention coming over in the morning if he wanted, and that maybe they could all go out to breakfast or something, but she got caught up by the fire burning hot and bright in his eyes.
“I know what I said,” he told her, his voice thick with passion as he cupped her face in his hands. “That it was too soon for you to sleep over. I still don’t want them to know, but I need you, Beth. My door has a lock. Could you stay for another hour?”
Passion swamped her, making her knees weak. He hadn’t even kissed her, but she was already ready to take and be taken. She wanted his hands, his tongue. She wanted his body moving in and out of hers.
“I can stay,” she whispered. “For however long you want.”