Beach Vibes

Chapter 20

20

Rick dropped Jana off in the late afternoon. She thanked him again, then grabbed her bag and walked up toward the house. She was a little tired and slightly unsettled. The former was the result of a strange bed and sharing said bed with Rick. She was used to being by herself, unless Linnie had a bad dream. The latter was less easy to explain.

She liked Rick a lot—he was a sweetie who was obviously totally into her. He’d kept her laughing with his dad jokes throughout the weekend. He’d been attentive, kind and thoughtful the entire time. She should have been floating on air, and she wasn’t. Falling in love with him was the next obvious step, but instead of feeling closer to him, she felt like she needed to pull away, and she had no idea why. She was nearly thirty years old, and she’d never once been in love with a man. She’d assumed that was because of circumstances, but now she was starting to wonder if there was a bigger problem.

Her.

Was she flawed? Incapable of strong romantic emotions? Those were questions she was going to have to deal with, but maybe not right now, she thought as she stepped inside the house and called out, “I’m home!”

“Mommy, Mommy! You’re back.” Linnie came running and threw her arms around her. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too, peanut. Have you had a good weekend?”

“Uh-huh. Beth’s been here every day, and we made brownies. This morning we went to the park and played. Teddy said he was trying to tire us out, but I feel fine.”

The other kids joined them and led her into the family room. Dex was there, along with Beth and Teddy.

“Welcome back,” her brother said. “Have a good time?”

“I did. Solvang was great. We should rent a house and all go there sometime.” She looked at Beth. “Linnie says you’ve been here the whole time. I never meant for you to feel obligated.”

Beth smiled easily. “I’ve been having a great time myself. I’m catching up on my kid movies. My education has been sadly lacking.”

Jana spent a few minutes talking, then excused herself to go unpack. Beth went with her.

“How was the hotel?” her friend asked. “I saw the pictures you sent, and it looked wonderful.”

“It was perfect. Our room was really private, and there was a fire pit out back. We sat up late Friday night and watched the stars come out.” She laughed. “Real stars that we can’t see around here.”

Beth smiled. “Good. I’m glad you and Rick did well together. That first weekend away can be stressful.”

She was saying all the right things, but there was something about her tone, Jana thought. Or maybe she was imagining things.

“Rick made the whole time easy. He had a plan and a grid with all our reservations.”

Beth winced. “You were on a schedule, weren’t you?”

“A little bit, but I liked having someone else take charge. All I had to do was show up.”

Rick had taken care of her. She’d enjoyed hanging out with him, and the sex had been nice. So why was she questioning her feelings?

Once Jana had unpacked, she checked in with Teddy about his plans for the rest of the day. Not a surprise—he was hoping for a little one-on-one time with Beth. Jana said she would feed the kids and get them ready to start their week, so they were free to leave. Dex offered to hang out for the evening. There was chicken to barbecue, and they had ingredients for salad. She and Atlas made her easy cheddar biscuit recipe, and they sat down to dinner a little before six.

By seven thirty, they were all watching a movie together. Partway through, she excused herself to go check email. But instead of retreating to a quiet part of the house to scroll through her phone, she sat in the quiet, dark kitchen and tried to understand what she was feeling and why.

What was the restlessness about? Rick? Their relationship? Was she just reacting to spending so much time together, or was her subconscious trying to send her a message? Was it everything else in her life—getting ready for finals, waiting to start nursing school?

Dex came in and saw her. He walked over to the table.

“You okay?” he asked. “You’ve had something on your mind since you got home.”

“I’m fine.” She forced a smile. “You were great this weekend. Thanks for that.”

“Don’t distract me with compliments.” He sat across from her. “The boyfriend less perfect than you’d hoped?”

She winced at the question. “Not exactly. It’s more…” She paused. “I’m not in love with Rick.”

Nothing about his expression changed. “Were you supposed to be?”

“I don’t know. We just spent a great weekend together. I should be feeling the feels, right? Planning a future, and I’m not.” She leaned toward him. “I’ve never been in love. Not romantically. Am I broken?”

“No. There’s nothing wrong with you. We can’t all be Teddy. For the rest of us, love takes time.”

“I guess. I just can’t figure out if the problem is me or if it’s Rick. Sometimes when we’re together, he says things that I don’t understand.”

“Like math equations?”

Despite her worry, she laughed. “No, I mean like, I don’t know. When we were driving up on Friday, we talked about him getting into medical school and how Beth gave him all the money she had to help pay for it. It wasn’t a huge amount in the overall scheme, but it was big for her. She gave up her dream of being a chef for him. He didn’t seem appreciative.”

She shook her head. “And even as I listen to myself talk, I’m thinking I’m not making sense at all.” She looked at Dex. “I’m overreacting, right? No one is perfect. He was always the smartest kid in class. That has to leave a scar.”

Dex shrugged. “I don’t know about that, but the man’s a surgeon. Every day he cuts open someone and fixes them. In the time it takes him to do that, they are completely at his mercy. One wrong move and he could kill them. It’s an awesome responsibility that most of us don’t want to deal with. Even if I could get through medical school, there’s no way I want to do that. Most people don’t.”

“You’re saying what makes him good at his job makes him a crappy human being?”

Dex flashed her a smile. “I wouldn’t go that far, but doing what he does takes a certain kind of character and a lot of training. I’m not sure there’s much left over for what you and I consider normal.”

He had a point, she thought.

“Does he show up when he says?” Dex asked. “Does he text and stay in touch? Do you feel good when you’re around him? Have you ever caught him in a lie?”

Was Rick who he said he was? That was what Dex was getting at. “He’s always come through,” she told him. “I trust him to show up.”

“Then maybe that’s your answer. Trust your gut.”

“My gut liked Paul, and he turned out to be a control freak who hit my kid.”

“Paul was an asshole.”

“Shouldn’t my gut have mentioned that?”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Dex told her. “On the surface, Rick’s given you no reason not to trust him. Unless your gut tells you otherwise, go with it.” His tone softened. “What if you’re reacting because you’re scared of making another mistake? It’s one thing to be cautious and a whole other to screw up a great relationship for the wrong reason.”

“You mean there’s a right reason to screw up a relationship?” she asked, then sighed. “I get what you’re saying, and I want to believe you. It’s just my entire dating life has been one big mistake. When I was younger, I never wanted to be tied down, so I never really had any serious boyfriends. Now I’m ready to have a real relationship, but I don’t have the experience to make that happen. It’s pathetic.”

“You’re distracting yourself with self-pity.”

“Ouch.”

He shrugged. “I call ’em like I see ’em.”

“Dex, I don’t know who Linnie’s father is. That’s how badly I did. I slept with a bunch of guys during spring break, and one of them got me pregnant. I’ll never know who her father is. At some point I have to tell her that. It’s not something to be proud of.”

She shook her head. “Then I got involved with Paul. I don’t have a good track record. You’re right about Rick. I have no reason not to trust him. But honestly, every now and then, I can’t shake some weird feeling inside. At the same time, I’m pretty sure it’s just me being scared of messing up again. And if that’s true, I’m, as you said, putting a really great relationship with a really great guy at risk, out of fear.”

His gaze was steady. “Maybe it’s time for therapy.” One corner of his mouth twitched. “The intensive, inpatient kind.”

She swatted his arm. “Very funny.”

He stood and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “Trust yourself, kid. You got this.”

He walked back to the family room. Jana stayed where she was, going over what Dex had said. Maybe she was overthinking the problem. Maybe there wasn’t a problem at all. But as she got up to return to the family room, that damned voice in her head whispered one last question. Would she trust Rick with her daughter? If push came to shove, would she call him to take care of Linnie?

And in that moment she knew, in her heart of hearts, the answer might be no. Honest to God, she had no idea why.

* * *

Rick opened his front door and grinned. “You don’t have to keep feeding me, you know.”

“You say that,” Beth commented, walking in with several bags of takeout. “Yet you never tell me no when I offer to bring dinner.”

He hugged her. “I like the company.”

Any tension she’d had at seeing him again quickly faded as she realized she was happy to hang out with her brother.

“We’re both so busy these days,” she said. “I hardly get to see you.”

He helped her unload the takeout. She’d stopped at a local Italian restaurant and had picked up a couple of different green salads, three kinds of pasta and the garlic knots they both loved.

“You’re not complaining about being busy, are you?” he asked, his voice teasing. “You and Teddy seem pretty hot and heavy.”

She did her best not to blush. “We’re getting along.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?”

“Rick!”

He started dishing up his dinner. “I’m just saying you’re spending quality time with him. You seem happy.”

“So do you.” She waited for him to set down his plate before taking food for herself. “You had a good weekend away?”

“It was the best. Jana’s terrific, and we really got along. She’s sweet and funny and beautiful. The whole package.” He put down his fork. “Thank you for slapping some sense into me before. I was such a fool with that other woman.” His mouth turned down. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I know I got caught up in having an attractive woman come on to me. I reacted without thinking about what’s important, and I nearly lost Jana because of it.”

His gaze sharpened. “You were there for me. You told me the truth when I needed to hear it, and I want you to know I’m grateful.”

She smiled at him. “Of course. I’m glad it all worked out.” She was still a little weirded out that Rick had cheated in the first place—it so wasn’t him. But he’d made a mistake, realized it, self-corrected and moved on. That was what mattered.

“How was it hanging out with Linnie and the other kids while Jana and I were away?” he asked.

“Good. Intense. Teddy’s children are really fun. Their personalities are so distinct.” She thought about all they’d done and how she’d managed to spend one-on-one time with each of them. “I freak out a little when I think about what it would mean if Teddy and I got serious.”

“You’d be a good stepmom,” he said casually. “You like to take care of people, and it suits your talents.”

“My talents?”

“The things you’re good at. You know, like making sandwiches.”

Her good mood seemed to fade a little. “That sounds like you’re saying making sandwiches is the best I can expect from myself. There’s more to running the business than adding mayonnaise to a ciabatta roll.”

He stared at her in obvious confusion. “What did I say? You’re upset.”

“Sometimes you act like I’m incapable of doing much of anything. I might not have gone to medical school, but I’m not dumb.”

“I never said you were. You’re mad. I just said you’re good at taking care of people. Like with the sandwiches. You connect with your customers and do special things for them.” He looked baffled. “Why is that the wrong thing to say?”

Is that what he’d meant? “It’s not what you said. You made a crack about me making sandwiches. It felt like a dig.”

“Beth, I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sometimes you act like you don’t respect me, Rick. You put down what I do. Yes, you’re a surgeon, and that’s amazing, but the rest of us have value, too.”

She could see him struggling to understand. No doubt he was thinking something along the lines of “but anyone can make a sandwich,” which really pissed her off. Not that her reaction was fair, because he hadn’t said the words.

Wow, she was in a mood and she had no idea why. Maybe it really was being tired. Or maybe it was something else she didn’t want to define. Because as Agatha had pointed out more than once, Rick never brought her takeout. He never did anything for her.

“It’s what we’ve always done,” she said aloud.

He frowned. “What is?”

“This.” She waved between their plates. “We’re in a pattern. I take care of you, but you don’t take care of me. You’re my little brother. I look out for you and do things for you. I always have. Just like you’ve always been the smart one, while I’ve struggled. Or at least I did.”

Because she wasn’t struggling anymore. She was, in fact, thriving. She was happy. For the first time in at least a couple of years, she knew what she wanted, and she had things to look forward to.

She looked at her brother, who was watching her cautiously, as if not sure what was going to happen next.

“You need to buy the takeout,” she told him.

“Okay. Are you on Zelle?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I can send you the money right now.”

She held in a laugh. “No. That’s not what I mean. Next time you need to be the one to stop and buy our dinner.”

“Sure. I’ll go wherever you want. Next time I’ll text you and set up dinner, and then I’ll pick it up and bring it to you.”

“Thank you.”

“Damn,” he said as he shook his head. “Relationships are complicated.”

“Sometimes.”

He looked at her. “You want to have dinner with Teddy and Jana? The four of us. Like a double date?”

“That would be fun. Yes, I would.”

He pulled out his phone and quickly texted. “I’m asking Jana about it right now. We can get something set up for this weekend.” His good-natured smile returned. “I won’t be on call.”

She got up and collected her phone from her bag. “I’ll ask Teddy.”

Rick grinned. “See, this is good. We can be a team.”

“We can.”

Later, when she was home, she thought about the evening with her brother. She was glad she’d spoken up and so grateful that he’d responded as he had. She wasn’t sure what had spurred her to confront him, but she knew that conversation was long overdue. Some of the problem was her accepting what had always been, and some of it was how clueless he was. And maybe, she admitted, if only to herself, Rick was a little bit lazy. She’d always looked out for him. Most people liked being taken care of. Why would he change on his own?

But he’d gotten her point, and she felt better for making it. These days she felt better about a lot of things.

She reached for her phone and read through the text exchange she’d had with Teddy. He was looking forward to their double date on Saturday. Afterwards, he was going to come home with her. Dex would stay with the kids until Jana got home. Beth was both nervous and excited about having Teddy stay the night. Agatha had promised to keep to her room, then had offered to make cinnamon rolls in the morning. Beth wasn’t sure about her aunt and Teddy chit-chatting over sugar and coffee, but why not?

It was all so good, she thought happily. This time, this man. There was so much promise. She wasn’t sure if she believed in “the one,” but she had a feeling that of all the men in the world, he was one of the very few she could love for the rest of her life.

* * *

The customer flow at Surf Sandwiches on weekends had a different rhythm than on the weekdays. There was less of a lunch rush, and more of a steady stream of customers. Large to-go orders started piling up at about ten as families planned their days and decided to get sandwiches to take with them. This Saturday they’d had two catering jobs for backyard pre-graduation parties. Beth and Yolanda had started an hour early to get all the food prepped. The warm, sunny day promised lots of beachgoers, which was good news for her business.

A little after one, Beth saw a familiar, tall redhead walk into the store. Galaxy spotted her and offered a warm smile and a wave. Beth froze as she watched the other woman walk toward her.

Galaxy didn’t look upset or determined—not like someone here to confront her ex-boyfriend’s sister. In fact, she seemed friendly as she approached.

“Hi, Beth. I was driving by and saw the sign. This is your store, isn’t it?” Galaxy laughed. “I mean, you’re here, so of course it is.” The smile widened. “Sorry. I’m a little nervous.” She glanced around. “I know it’s short notice and you’re probably too busy, but do you have a few minutes for us to talk?”

Her first instinct was to refuse. No good would come out of the conversation. Yet she couldn’t seem to summon the words.

“I got this, Boss,” Yolanda told her.

Which was true. Between Yolanda and their weekend staff, the counter was covered. Beth could take a break. Only she wasn’t sure why Galaxy wanted to talk to her. Shouldn’t the other woman be sad and avoiding Rick’s family?

“Did you want a sandwich?” she asked.

“I’m good,” Galaxy told her.

Beth eyed her trim thighs and wondered if Galaxy ate more than a single meal a day. And if so, no doubt she favored something vegan or water-based.

“Then we should at least get a drink,” Beth said, pointing to the display case. “They’re all organic and popular with my customers.”

“Thank you.”

Galaxy chose a flavored seltzer with zero calories. Beth decided to do the same. Together they walked outside and found a table in the shade.

Beth wrapped her hands around her drink and told herself that if Galaxy started yelling at her, she would simply go inside and text Rick. Dealing with her brother’s angry ex wasn’t her job. Except Galaxy continued to smile at her and seemed perfectly calm.

“I know I should have given you some notice,” the other woman began. “But now that we’ve met, I thought it would be okay. I’ve been talking to Rick about us getting together.” She gave a little laugh. “It seems like it’s time, don’t you think? So maybe a double date or something.”

Beth stared at her blankly. A double date? What was she talking about? A double date with who?

Galaxy’s perfect brows drew together. “Oh, dear. Did I say something wrong? Rick mentioned you were seeing someone. Did it not work out?”

Okay, maybe it was just her, but Galaxy wasn’t making any sense. What would Teddy have to do with…

A truth she didn’t want to think about, didn’t want to acknowledge, smacked her on the side of the head. She was sure she flinched, but couldn’t help it. Horror swept through her. Horror and disbelief and a sense of being slightly out of step with the earth’s rotation. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t happening.

“Because you’re still dating my brother,” she whispered.

Galaxy’s expression turned concerned. “Are you all right?” She leaned back a little, as if wanting to put distance between herself and whatever Beth was dealing with.

Not that Beth cared about her comfort level. What the hell? Rick had lied. He’d pretended to be all remorseful, and he’d lied to her. He’d looked her in the eye and had said he’d broken up with Galaxy, and it hadn’t been true at all.

He’d lied. Until this second, she would have said he was incapable of being deceitful. It wasn’t his way. Only it obviously was. He’d cheated on Jana and was still cheating on her. He’d betrayed his own sister because of whatever sick game he was playing. It was too much for her to take in.

Beth wanted to escape back into the store but also knew she needed to get more information. None of it was going to be good, but she had to know what was going on. She mentally searched for a reasonable excuse for her odd behavior and decided to go with the familiar.

“Oh my goodness,” she said, hoping she sounded more normal than she felt. “I’m having the worst period. I took a pain pill, and I’m a little out of it. Forgive me.”

Galaxy instantly relaxed as she reached out and touched Beth’s hand. “I’m sorry. I get really bad cramps, too. What was God thinking when He designed our reproductive system? Can I get you something? Maybe a little food would help?”

Beth felt sick to her stomach. Bad enough that Galaxy was here. Worse that she was nice.

“Thank you. I’ll be fine.” She struggled to make sense of what was happening. “Rick doesn’t talk about his personal life. I think it’s a guy thing. I really don’t know that much about you. How long have you been going out?”

Galaxy tossed her head, sending her gorgeous red hair flying over her shoulder. “Nearly nine months. I can’t believe how fast time has gone.” She leaned forward. “Between you and me, my mother is over the moon. I’m dating a doctor. She never thought it would happen.”

Beth couldn’t breathe. Her chest was tight, her mouth was dry. Nine months? No. It couldn’t be. Nine months? Oh, God, she’d been so wrong. Rick hadn’t been cheating with Galaxy—he was cheating with Jana. Teddy’s sister was the other woman.

“I work at an urgent care clinic in Santa Monica. Rick’s practice has an office in the building. That’s how we met. It was kind of romantic. We literally ran into each other. He was so apologetic, and we got to talking.” She glanced down, then back at Beth. “He said I glowed. No one has ever said that to me before. I couldn’t resist him.”

Galaxy pressed a hand to her chest. “It was kind of love at first sight for both of us.” The other woman giggled. “At least, it was for me. It took Rick a tiny bit longer to admit his feelings, but now we’re both in love, and it’s amazing.”

Beth had never been a fainter, but she thought this might be a good time to start. Everything the other woman was saying made the situation worse. Rick had more than lied—he had an entire secret life. Nothing he’d told her was true. It was as if he’d become another person—one she neither knew nor liked.

Galaxy kept talking, telling funny, charming stories about her boyfriend. The more she detailed, the more Beth got that they weren’t just dating—they were serious, and they had been for a while.

“I went to Salt Lake City to visit my sister a couple of weeks ago,” Galaxy said. “For a long weekend. Rick texted me constantly. He missed me so much. It was sweet.”

Beth was pretty sure that had been the weekend he’d taken Jana away, so she doubted he’d missed Galaxy as much as she thought.

The other woman smiled at her. “I so want us to be friends. If you’re not comfortable with a double date, let’s at least get together, just the three of us.”

“Of course,” Beth told her. “We’ll set something up.”

“Good. I want you to know how much I’m in love with your brother. He’s so wonderful.”

“He’s, ah, lucky to have found you,” Beth managed.

“I’m the lucky one.” She glanced at the store. “I should let you get back to work, but I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.”

“I’m glad you stopped by.”

Galaxy rose, waved and then walked away. Beth stared after her, wondering how it was possible for her world to shatter so completely and yet leave no physical evidence. Cars still drove by on the road. Families played on the beach. The sun still shone down—all as if nothing had happened. But she knew differently. She knew from this moment going forward, nothing would ever be the same.