20. Fox
FOX
I exchanged the voucher for the board at a shack run by a sleepy local kid.
“Shane not with you?” the kid asked.
“Nah, mate, sorry.”
He looked pretty crestfallen. He’d probably volunteered to open early for the chance to meet an idol.
I wondered if and when word would get out that Shane had canceled his wedding. We’d played it up online. Anyone who followed surfing closely knew the former champion was getting married in Hawaii. I should probably ask Ashley to help me draft a statement, but I wasn’t sure how that would go over.
It was one more piece of mental plastic floating in my head as I clasped the board beneath my arm and headed down to the water.
I’d slept well enough, but the minute my phone had pinged with the depth-sounder that was my alarm, my brain had swelled with every word I had exchanged with Ashley last night.
That shit about her Dad, for instance. I sincerely hoped I never met him. No wonder she was always going the extra mile and trying to keep the peace. That was a lot to carry, especially when she’d been a kid.
She didn’t usually pick fights either. That regurgitation of our argument over Jasmine had caught me off guard.
I still regretted bringing Jasmine home that night. She had been planning to meet a friend who was finishing a shift at a different pub. The beach house had been closer and she’d casually suggested coming home with me. I thought, What the hell . We’d managed to stay friends through a couple of on and off spells. She traveled a lot, so she preferred to keep things casual. She was only planning to stay in Sydney until she’d built up her savings for another overseas trip. I hadn’t been with anyone since Izzy and could have used the exercise.
I’d changed my mind by the time we were pulling into the drive, though. Jasmine had been surprised when I’d given her the bedroom and I’d wondered what the hell I was doing myself.
The next morning, she’d been gently prying. I’d been trying to hurry her along, unable to explain even to myself why I was reluctant to start up with her again. She was funny, knew everyone in our circle, had her own goals and wasn’t looking for any man to complete her. We were both doing our own thing which kept us from gelling into anything serious, but we were comfortable with that and each other.
So comfortable, she’d been taking the piss with me, siding with Ashley if Ashley would only recall events correctly, but she seemed to have taken Jasmine’s remarks as ridicule.
Until that day, I had never seen Ashley get angry and, God help me, hadn’t taken her seriously because of that. And the fact it was over a damned hair clip. I’d been pretty fucking patronizing, not that I’d recognized it at the time. I hadn’t realized how genuinely furious she was until she’d refused to speak to me for days after.
She’d been right, too. They didn’t carry them in Oz. I’d searched four different shops without success. I might as well have been browsing the tampon aisle, I’d been so out of my depth as I picked over scrunchies and pins and all the other doo-dads in the hairbrush section. I’d had to ask a mother with two little girls to advise me and still came home with the wrong kind. Ash had been gracious enough to accept it as a peace offering, but it had been another few days until she had fully thawed.
I crossed the cool sand and waded into the water with purpose, grunting when a swell rolled against my thighs and soaked my balls, sending a familiar jolt through me. I dropped onto the board and began to paddle.
I had never understood why Ashley had been so damned mad over a stupid two-dollar hairclip. I hadn’t dared bring it up again and ask for clarification, either. I wasn’t a masochist. Then, last night, for a minute there, she had sounded almost jealous.
My heart thunked in my chest, but I told myself it was my imagination. What kind of Freudian-ass self-delusion was it that I had manifested a thought like that?
It sure as hell hadn’t been my finest hour when I’d let Ashley’s temper nudge Jasmine out the door. I’d been embarrassed, sending Jasmine mixed signals by bringing her home then leaving her to sleep alone. On her way out, she had sent a speculative glance toward Shane’s closed bedroom door, the one Ashley had slammed.
I’d been relieved she was gone and tried to forget the whole thing, but Ashley’s wounded silence had nearly killed me.
A chop of water hit me in the face, reminding me to pay attention. As the next glassy swell approached, I dove through it and, like magic, my head cleared of all but what was immediately before me—ocean and sky glowing a predawn silver with streaks of purple and pink on the horizon. The world was no longer pressing down on me. I was inside it. Part of it.
My muscled tingled and warmed as I stretched into longer, more determined paddles. I arched my back, dug deep to pull myself up the face of the next swell and rode over the crest, sliding down its backside. I paddled again, licking salt spray from my lips.
Soon I was exchanging nods and “G’day,” with a handful of locals sitting on their boards. The sun cracked a sparkle across the water as my turn came up. I eyed the set coming in, dropped onto my stomach and began to paddle.
The wave pushed and lifted me. Still on my stomach, I clung to its peak as I angled left, leaning my weight on my inside rail while watching to make sure my line stayed clear. With nothing in my head but balance and timing and keeping that delicate pressure on one side, I popped up, bringing my feet under me. I lifted my hands, heels doing the work to carve into the wave as I picked up speed and swooped down.
Here was the ride. The wind rushed across my face and cut through my boardies and rashie. My body absorbed the energy of the ocean through my feet against the board. Every shade of green and blue and white-gold hit my retinas. The wave started to curl over me and I crouched into a tight stance to stay inside the barrel. As I trailed my fingers in the wall beside me, it was like punching into the space between time and reality. I was everything and nothing. Magnificent and vulnerable. I was jacked with adrenaline and basking in euphoria. I was completely in control, but purely a passenger on this board and this planet.
The wave began to collapse. I fishtailed out of it and my speed slowed. My board wobbled and I let himself fall.
As my ears filled with the growl of the sea, my vision turned to bubbles and foam. My lungs starved for air as the weight of the wave fell over me, chundering me into its belly.