Beauty and the Bachelor

Chapter 20

I survive my day at sea, and when the boat finally docks, I swear I’ll never set foot on another one ever again. One good thing comes from the day, though. Sebastian sends Bridget home. Right there, in front of everyone. As soon as we’re back on the boat and he makes sure I’m doing okay, he stomps over to Bridget and says, “You’re done. I want you gone.”

A collective gasp goes up around the boat from both contestants and crew. The season’s bachelor always has the right to send home whoever he wants, whenever he wants, but it hardly ever happens.

Bridget is so shocked she can’t form words. She blinks at him, face pale, and eventually stammers out a quiet “What?”

Sebastian gives her his best death glare. “What you did today was malicious, and it put Vivian in danger. You are the most vapid human being I’ve ever met, and I want you off the show. As soon as we get back to the hotel, pack your things and leave.”

A long silence stretches out. I think we’re all holding our breaths as we witness the dressing down. Bridget swallows hard and starts to blink rapidly. Probably staving off tears. It takes her a minute, but she musters her pride and glares back at Sebastian. “Whatever. You’re not worth it.”

Then she stomps off to one of the rooms below deck and away from the rest of the group. I smirk a little when José scrambles with his film crew to follow after her. She won’t get a moment’s peace.

Once she’s gone, the tension eases, but several of the women still walk on eggshells the rest of the trip back to the mainland. Sebastian stays glued to my side the entire boat ride. He takes me to the semi-open lounge where I felt most comfortable on the ride over, and this time the other women all follow us. Katie starts up an easy conversation and keeps it going the entire ride. Sebastian maintains physical contact with me the whole way. His arm stays around me, tucking me firmly against him, and his free hand holds mine on his lap. His presence is so comforting I barely feel my panic at being on the open sea. It’s almost enough to make the traumatic ordeal worth it. Not quite, but it’s a great consolation prize.

My little dip in the ocean and Sebastian’s valiant rescue is all anyone can talk about for the rest of the night. The women rehash every detail of it to Jalisa, Calista, and Willow when we get back to the hotel. Emma and Willow are the only people who seem excited that Sebastian kissed me, claiming it was about time he started showing some emotion. Willow swoons over the way he hovered protectively and held me the entire ride back. Jalisa is carefully neutral.

Laurel and Selena aren’t happy about it, but their displeasure isn’t directed at me. They’re angry with Bridget. Furious. After all, she pushed me in, forcing Sebastian to have to rescue me. And if we hadn’t gone through something so intense together, he wouldn’t have wanted to kiss me. Adrenaline apparently does funny things to a person, according to Laurel, and Sebastian’s and my kiss was due to the intense situation and stress relief of it being over. He was caught up in the moment. It had nothing to do with having actual feelings for me. But the key point is that it was all Bridget’s fault.

The tension in the house is high for the rest of the week. Jealousy is starting to grab hold of people. They’re all finally starting to see that Sebastian is more than just the broody jerk we all thought him to be. Attachments are being formed, and with that, wariness of the other women in the house. For the first time, it feels like the women are really competing with each other, and I’m public enemy number one.

Calista is downright hostile toward me now, and Selena and Laurel aren’t much better. My friends are still nice to me, but I can see Jalisa is nervous and working hard to contain her envy.

Willow gets the solo date, while Jalisa and Calista have the two-on-one. They were told to dress for an outdoor adventure. They’re probably getting the jungle tour that I would have loved. After the two-on-one date, it’s Jalisa who returns to the hotel while Calista is sent packing. I knew it would happen, but I’m still relieved when my friend walks in the door that evening.

Tonight is the rose ceremony, but that’s hours away. We’re all wondering what we’ll be doing today, and I know I’m not the only one praying that we’ll leave the hotel suite. The women cheer when there’s a knock at the door. We assume it’s going to be Aaron, but it’s Sebastian. My stomach flips at the sight of him. My mind replays the moment his lips pressed against mine. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that moment since it happened. His eyes find mine almost instantly as if he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it, either.

“Sebastian!” Selena gushes, taking charge of the room and laying her hand on his arm. With Bridget and Calista gone, she’s feeling a lot more confident and outgoing. I’m surprised she hasn’t figured out the aggressive, overly flirty approach isn’t going to work with Sebastian. “This is a nice surprise.”

I hate to agree with her, but it is a nice surprise. Not that I’m pining for Sebastian’s company, but it’s a change in the routine, and I’m all for that. And, okay, maybe I’m curious to see how things go between us after the last time we were together.

“What are you doing here?” Laurel asks, flashing him a bright smile.

He looks around at us all before speaking, but his eyes find mine again. “I know we’re not supposed to see each other until the rose ceremony tonight, but I was going stir-crazy and convinced Andrea to let us spend the afternoon exploring the city together.”

An enthusiastic cheer goes up around the room. As much as I’m excited for the chance to get out and see the city, I’m surprised Sebastian took the initiative. He must really be bored if he requested to spend the day with all of us.

“I’ve booked us a private sightseeing tour, and then we’ll get to do a little shopping.”

That sounds fabulous.

After a quick scramble to get ready for a day out on the town, we follow Sebastian to the hotel lobby. While we’re waiting for our tour guide out front of the hotel, Sebastian suddenly appears at my side. “No water this time. I promise.”

I laugh, surprised by the playfulness in his voice. “I appreciate that. So, how’d you manage to stage this jailbreak?”

He sighs. “I promised to spend a bit of one-on-one time with each of you, making a ‘sincere effort’ to get to know all of you.”

He sounds so pained by the idea that I laugh again. “You’ll live. They’re not a bad group of women. You could do worse.”

He rakes his gaze over the women. They’re all watching him talk to me with varying expressions of concern and envy. If he spends too much time talking to me this afternoon, the claws are going to come out. I nod toward Laurel and Selena since they seem the most likely to turn on me. “You’d better get to your mingling, then.”

“I am mingling.” He gestures between us, indicating us talking to one another.

I chuckle. Somehow, I don’t think hanging out with me is what Andrea meant when she made him promise to talk to everyone. “Pretty sure when they asked you to spend time with everyone, they meant everyone else.”

He frowns. I nudge his arm and nod toward the others. “Go. Save me for last. They’ll all be a lot less likely to scratch my eyes out if they feel like they’ve already gotten your attention.”

He’s startled by my statement and glances at all the other women again with shrewd eyes. Their jealousy and animosity toward me is obvious. He sighs again. “Fine. I’ll go.” He turns his gaze back to me, and a hint of a smile ghosts across his face. “But only because I’d hate to see such beautiful eyes scratched out.”

I blink at him in shock. “Did you just flirt with me? Who are you, and what have you done with our broody bachelor?”

His cheeks turn pink, and he glares at me. “Ah. There you are,” I tease. “Call me crazy, but I think the scowl is growing on me.”

The frown turns into a full-fledged glower.

I give him a cheeky smile, then cut him some slack. “Thank you for the compliment.” I pat his arm. “Now, go do your due diligence with your other dates.”

He gives me a grimace that makes me laugh. “Maybe try smiling.”

He gives me the driest, most sarcastic smile I’ve ever seen, and I shake my head, laughing again.

Huh. My grumpy bachelor has a sense of humor hiding underneath his irritability.

Um, I mean, not my bachelor. The bachelor. Like, the show’s. Not mine.

A large van arrives to take us on our tour, and we all pile in. I sit in the back next to Emma with Willow, Katie, and Jalisa in front of us. Sebastian is stuck near the front with Laurel and Selena. I feel a little bad for him, but not enough to dampen my mood. I’m excited to see the city.

We get an amazing tour. We see the colonial downtown area, then stop at a cathedral and the botanical gardens. Our tour guide is very engaging and knows everything about the city and its history. The final stop on the tour is a place called the Malecón. It’s a boardwalk along the waterfront filled with little shops, lots of local art and sculptures, and street performers. I love seeing all the art and culture.

Sebastian keeps to his promise and spends a little time with every woman. He looks more relaxed today than he has since I met him—talking more and smiling. I even saw him laugh once at something Jalisa said. It’s nice to see him enjoying himself, even if seeing him with the other women does something to my gut that I refuse to acknowledge.

We come up to a small crowd and stop to watch a mariachi band play a lively tune while traditional dancers twirl about in large sombreros and brightly-colored dresses. It’s mesmerizing. We all get caught up in the performance. After a minute, I glance around and notice that Sebastian has disappeared. It takes me a moment to spot him at a nearby food cart. I slip away from the other women and come up behind Sebastian just as he takes a large bite of a taco. “I thought we weren’t supposed to eat anything while we’re miked.”

He whirls around at the sound of my voice with the most adorable caught-red-handed look on his face. He sees it’s me and a grins a big, closed-mouth smile while quickly chewing and swallowing. “Busted,” he says with a small chuckle. “I had to.” He waves a hand at the vendor’s cart. “Authentic Mexican street tacos? No way could I pass that up. The nation can just listen to me chew.”

I laugh. “So, you’re a man who loves his tacos, huh?”

He looks at me like I’m nuts. “Who doesn’t love tacos?”

I hold my hands up in surrender. “Don’t ask me. They’re my favorite food.”

His face lights up with pleasure, but he quickly gasps in feigned shock. “What? We have something in common?”

I’m so surprised I can do nothing but blink at the man. He’s joking with me. And his smile is reaching all the way to his twinkling gray eyes. It’s so stunning that all thought flies from my head. He’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. This relaxed, playful version of Sebastian is downright irresistible.

Sebastian holds his taco up to my face, clueless of the way he’s just wormed into my heart a tiny bit. “You have to try this,” he says.

Another shock jolts me when he jiggles the food in front of my mouth, urging me to take a bite. He’s trying to feed me. I didn’t realize our relationship has reached that level of familiarity. “Come on. I don’t have cooties. Taste it. You’ll love it.”

I look into his expectant eyes and then let him feed me a bite of his taco. “Good, right?” he asks as a rich mix of salty beef and spicy peppers explodes on my tongue.

I’m unable to stop my groan of pleasure. I close my eyes and savor the best taco I’ve ever tasted. When I open my eyes again, I find Sebastian grinning at me, face beaming with pride. “Here.”

He hands me the taco and then orders himself another one. We stand there and quietly eat our tacos while the street performers finish their dance. The second it’s over, the rest of the group finds us. Emma and Willow grin at me, while the others eye Sebastian and me with suspicion. I think they want to say something, but they look too scared to do it. We all know what happened to the last woman who acted out against me.

“Shall we keep moving?” Willow asks, breaking the silence. “There are some cute shops up there, and I need to get a souvenir for my nephew.”

It takes the group a second to move, but once they drift forward, Sebastian grabs my hand and hangs us back behind the other women. He laces our fingers together and starts strolling down the boardwalk as if we’re just a normal couple who does this all the time. I’m thrown off guard by the hand-holding. I hadn’t expected it. I’ve watched Sebastian all day. He’s been pleasant and attentive to the other women, but physically he’s kept a polite distance. What is it about me that he’s so comfortable with? He’s spent the same amount of time with Jalisa, Willow, and Emma as he has with me. Why am I different?

We come up to a large souvenir shop and follow the others inside. Sebastian steps forward to hold the door for me, but his gaze is focused behind me. “We need to stop there again on our way back.” I don’t realize he’s still stuck on the tacos until he says, “I need to see if they’ll give me their recipe.”

My eyebrows fly up. He doesn’t strike me as a man who knows his way around the kitchen.

We step into the shop. It’s full of everything from pottery to jewelry to different kinds of tequila. I drift over to a table covered in beautiful blown glass. “You cook?”

Sebastian picks up a candle and sniffs it. “Not at all. But I have a great chef.”

I burst out laughing, earning a startled look from Sebastian and a bunch of side glances from the other women. “And a maid service, too, no doubt.”

He sighs, but it’s good-natured and a little self-deprecating. “I’ve never scrubbed a toilet in my life.”

I snicker. “Mowed a lawn?” I ask, even though I’m sure of his answer.

His voice turns dry. “Landscapers.”

“Paid your own bills?”

“Accountant.”

I keep going. “Picked up your own dry cleaning? Shopped for your own groceries?”

He rolls his eyes. “I have an assistant for that.”

I cock a brow at him. “So all of your ‘life’ stuff is done for you.”

He winces. “I work hard in other ways.”

I feel bad for giving him a hard time when that comes out sounding defensive. I quickly hold my hands up. “Not judging. Just trying to wrap my head around it.” I pick up a beautiful glass vase and run my hands over the smooth texture while I process. I can’t fathom what his life is like. “You and I live in completely different realities.”

Sebastian takes the vase out of my hands and sets it back down. He grips my hand and goes from playful to solemn in the blink of an eye. “It’s not a bad way to live. You could adjust.”

He’s dead serious. Words fail me, and my eyes bulge. He’s genuinely talking about me getting used to his lifestyle like I’m going to be sharing it with him. As his wife. I know that’s why he came on the show, but he can’t truly see us being married, can he? It’s insane. We don’t even know each other.

“Would you even have time for a wife?” I ask, feeling a bit panicked suddenly. “If you don’t have time to buy your own groceries, when would you even see your wife?”

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Conflict clouds his gaze, turning his steely eyes stormy. “My father made time,” he murmurs, as if he’s trying to convince himself more than me. “It can work.”

I can’t hold his intense gaze and return to browsing the different trinkets in front of me. When I start to move on to the next table, Sebastian takes my hand and steps into my personal space. “I’ve never had the desire to disrupt my life with a long-term relationship, but I’m beginning to see it’s possible.”

My heart speeds up. I tug on my hand, but he doesn’t release his grip. He catches my gaze again, and I get locked in his stare. There’s something in his eyes that’s almost beseeching, and my stomach is reacting very funny to it. It’s doing somersaults. He bites his bottom lip, then quietly says, “I’m starting to understand why my father always tried so hard to get me to date.”

A buzzing echoes in my ears, and warning lights start flashing in my brain. I can’t handle the intensity and emotion being thrown at me right now. I tug my hand again, and this time he lets me go. I walk across the room and pretend to browse some beautiful handmade silver jewelry. A delicate teardrop necklace with an amethyst pendant catches my eye. I pick it up to get a closer look and jump when a hand covers mine. Sebastian’s hand. “Don’t you feel it?” he asks softly.

My heart stops. I try to pretend I don’t know what he means, but a mocking voice in my head refuses to let me live in denial. I do feel something. That’s what scares me.

“Why me?” I blurt out, my voice just shy of hysterical. “We hardly know each other, and we fight as much as not. We’re so different, and I’m eight years younger than you.”

He rakes his hand through his hair as if he’s suddenly stressed out. “You think I don’t know that?” he asks. “You’re so young and beautiful. I don’t know what a woman like you would ever want with a boring old man like me when your life is filled with so much excitement and glamour, but I have to at least try.”

I blink at him. “Glamour?” I snort. “You haven’t seen my apartment.”

“You have famous friends. You probably go out to private clubs, and parties, and movie premieres. You have Jesse Ramos trying to win your heart. I can’t compete with that.”

His insecurity is shocking, but I like it. I can relate to it. It makes him seem more like a man and less like an untouchable billionaire.

I put the pretty purple necklace back. “First, Jesse isn’t trying to win my heart. Get in my pants, maybe, but my heart is safe from him.”

Sebastian makes a face at that, but doesn’t argue. He picks up the necklace I’d just been admiring and studies the gem.

I reach for a silver ring with a butterfly on it and slip it onto my finger to see how it looks. It gives me something to focus on instead of Sebastian. “And second, he’s just a guy. Him, Brian, Ella…they’re all just people. Their lives might be a bit different than normal, but you’re a billionaire. Your life is different, too.”

“But it’s not exciting or fun,” he grumbles.

“Not everyone needs fun and exciting.” I don’t know when I went from trying to dissuade Sebastian to reassuring him, but I put down the ring and finally meet his eyes. “Some people just want stability,” I say. “Jalisa is eager to get to know you because you’re in a position in your life to settle down and get serious about a relationship. That’s what she wants.”

He steps closer, moving into my space while pulling me in with his tractor beam gaze. “And what do you want?”

I gulp. In the space of a single breath, he’s gone from being unsure to acting like a man who knows how to get what he wants. And what he wants is me. His entire being screams You will give in to me. Every time he looks at me with that unflinching intensity, I feel like my heart is going to give out. It’s beating like I’m in the middle of a grueling marathon.

“What do you want, Vivian?” he repeats when I don’t answer him. It’s a demand this time and not a question. He says it like no matter what my answer is, he will give it to me.

I barely manage to get my next words out. “I don’t know.”

I tear my gaze away from his and move to a rack of sunglasses. He follows me, still waiting for me to elaborate on my answer. I pull a pair of bright purple glasses off the rack and try them on. I look in a mirror while I gather my thoughts. It’s the break in tension that I need. “I’ve dated a lot of jerks,” I explain. “Users. Guys who’ve treated me like a doormat. Always taking, never giving.”

I swap out the purple glasses for a large, black pair. The glasses are fabulous, so I hang on to them and move to a row of colorful scarves. “I guess I just want to be loved.” I shrug. “Really, truly loved. And I want to know I’m loved for me. Not for who my friends are or what I can do for people.”

“We have that in common,” Sebastian points out.

I know he’s right. If anyone understands not wanting to be used, it would be him. But things aren’t as simple as just that. I turn to fully face him, and this time it’s me who gives him an unrelenting stare. “But do you have it in your heart to love someone? Really love them?” I ask.

He frowns.

“Love is risky,” I say. “It’s unpredictable. You can’t control it. You have to be able to be vulnerable with your partner. Can you do that? Can you take such a risk? Can you trust someone enough to love them?”

He swallows hard, but determination and stubbornness fill his eyes. “I trust you.”

I don’t know that I believe him. “How can you? You don’t even know me.”

He shakes his head. “I might not know specifics, but you’ve shown me the kind of person you are. You’re passionate and kind. You’re smart. Confident. You don’t care about my money. You’re not intimidated by me. You’re beautiful inside and out.”

I’m stunned by his declaration. Each one of his compliments socks me in the gut. It’s not that I have a low opinion of myself, but the only person who’s ever said something like that to me besides my fathers is Ella. It’s different coming from Sebastian. Harder to believe.

I want to argue with him, but he’s not finished yet. “You’re right about me,” he says. “I’m a control freak with trust issues, and allowing myself to be vulnerable with anyone is almost impossible. I never thought I’d be able to love someone, but you’re changing me. You’re making me want something I’ve never wanted before.”

He is dead serious. I’ve never had a man look at me the way he’s staring at me now. There’s something almost worshipful in his expression. Fear hits me square in the chest, stealing the breath from my lungs. “No,” I breathe and shake my head frantically. “Don’t do that. Don’t put me on a pedestal. I’m not perfect, Sebastian. Far from it.”

He takes my hand and gives me a soft smile. “I know you’re not. No one is. Hell, I’m more flawed that most.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, and I hold my breath when his fingers brush my forehead. I can’t stop from shivering. “I’m not saying you’re perfect,” he murmurs. “But maybe you’re perfect for me.”

My whole body starts to tremble beneath the weight of his stare. The confidence in his eyes, his utter belief in everything he’s told me is so crushing, it physically hurts my heart. I feel so unworthy. Part of me desperately wants to believe him and accept what he’s offering, but I’m terrified. This wasn’t supposed to be real. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for him. This was just a way to get Juliette and Ana out of their contracts, but suddenly everything seems so much more complicated. The stakes have been raised. My walls are crumbling. I’m losing tiny pieces of my heart, and it’s only a matter of time before I lose all of it.

My eyes start to sting. I can’t speak. In fact, I’m holding my breath as my brain and my heart wrestle with one another. It must be obvious that I’m completely overwhelmed because Sebastian squeezes my hand, takes a step back, says “Think about it,” and then he walks off as if giving me time to do just that.