Chapter 6
Grace POV: Wednesday:
I finally came back to school after getting rid of that damn headache.
I had missed school for the rest of Monday and the entire Tuesday.
I had so much to catch up on that I could feel my nerves twirling and I already knew another headache was near.
I needed time but high school didn't leave me any.
I was just so tired. Tired physically because of that fucking limp and those headaches, and tired mentally from all the events that had happened the past few weeks. Rediscovering yourself sucked.
Thankfully, the girls had already given me their notes from the classes we shared together but they were classes that I didn't share with any of them, so the teachers had organized themselves to send me a bit of theirs, it was not a lot but at least it helped me catch up.
I sighed, limping my way to my locker.
? I'll leave you here. Is that OK? I have to go change, I have badminton this morning ? Sarah said, making a displeased face.
The funny thing is that as I got to know her more I learned that she didn't like sports very much despite being a cheerleader.
It was a weird contradiction but then again, it was Sarah we were talking about.
The girl was full of contradiction. Always searching for a fight and acting like a bitch but she was actually really caring and insecure. Never trust the appearances I guess.
? Yes...Yes...I will be fine ?
? Ok ? She smiled, patting my shoulder ? See you at lunch ?.
I nodded, continuing toward my locker.
I put the 6543 combination and opened it.
Unexpectedly, a flat folder instantly fell from inside it but luckily I caught it on time. Apparently, I still had a bit of reflex left. Good to know.
But what was this? It wasn't mine.
It was a simple black elastic folder. When I turned it around, I saw a sticky yellow note attached. On it, it said ? I thought you would need the science and literature lessons you missed, so I took the liberty to compiled what you've missed. Hope it helps. Take care of yourself :) Colleen.
P.S: Also please don't tell your friends. ?
Seriously? Who was that girl?
And why was she doing this? What were her intentions? Everything about her made me so confused. Her attitude toward me and the attitude of others toward her. Colleen was a complete mystery.
I knew why she asked me not to tell the girls. If they knew, they would have ripped her apart. They didn't want her near me. They made that clear before.
I read the note again.
Without noticing, my confused face softened, slowly turning into a grinning one.
When I noticed it, my smile faded. Why was I smiling?
My eyes fell down on the folder again.
Why was she so nice to me when I probably was, before my accident, a total bitch toward her? It didn't make sense.
I had noticed the condescending attitude of the girls toward everyone, the harsh words, the disdainful looks.
I wasn't blind. Amnesic, yes, but not blind.
I saw the way people looked at us with fear in their eyes or even avoided to come near us.
The girls weren't confronting people directly often, it was more insulting them behind their backs or laughing at them.
Every differences people had was an opportunity to attack them.
They had that superior attitude, thinking like they were better than everyone else.
However, in Colleen case, she received the worst from them. If they had the chance to go physical with her, they most likely will, especially Sarah. She hated her to an insane level. She made it her mission to get her expelled.
Was I like that before?
It was most likely. Now, it made me questioned what kind of person I was. And most importantly, who I wanted to be now.
Colleen had been nothing but nice to me. I didn't have any reason to hate her. How could I? Yes, she liked girls and it was not right but...but. Why was there a 'but'? I should hate her too, right?
But... was it a reason enough?
I sighed. Has 'old me' judged her too soon? Just because of one thing that she was? Was it reason enough? My head was starting to hurt again.
They say that coming close to death change your perspective on things. On life. Was it the case for me too? Did I really change that much about what I felt or was I like that before and my bitchy side was just a facade?
The bell rang, startling me. I snapped out of it and put the elastic folder in my bag. Making my way to my first class of the day.
I wanted my bed so badly.
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I was twirling my spaghetti with my fork, absently minded. Thinking about the things I must have done before. I was basically reassessing my entire existence at lunch break.
Thinking of who I was before. This whole story with Colleen made me think so much. I was a bitch, my friends were self-absorbed brats, my family and church preached love but encouraged hate over certain individuals and now I was... What was I?
I didn't want to be the person I probably was before. If I had died in the accident, all that people would have remembered of me was that I was an arrogant, selfish, egotistic, hating bitch. I would be remembered as such and I didn't want that.
Maybe the accident was like a second chance? A chance of redemption given by God?
? Not hungry? ?
I lifted my head as the girls took their places around the table. Ivanna immediately stuffed her mouth with spaghetti, moaning in delight. How could she be so skinny when she ate so much?
? I...I was just...thinking ? I replied to Sarah.
? About what? ? asked Ivanna, her mouth full of spaghetti.
? How many times did we told you to not speak with your mouth full. Jesus! ? Sarah huffed. She turned toward me. ? Is it about Colleen? ?
Oh shit! Did she found out about the folder? No, it wasn't possible. I looked at her without meeting her eyes. Panic arose in me.
I was scared. I didn't want them to discover my interactions with the glasses girl. I was scared of what they would do if they found out and what they would do to Colleen. What will they think of me?
Wait.
Did I become protective of Colleen? Did I care about her?
? N...No ? I lied.
? Well, if so she'll not do it anymore ? she said calmly, taking a bite of her salad with an evident smirk on her face.
I stopped breathing. What did she mean by that?
I wasn't the only one who understood there was a deeper meaning behind her words.
? What did you do? ? Paige asked, looking at her with concern.
Paige didn't like Colleen either but she never attempted anything toward her.
She was a rather poised person and kept quiet most of the time.
She didn't take part of the gossiping conversations most of the time, she just nodded or was too busy taking care of one of the girls or of something else.
There was no denial by now that she was the mom of the group and Sarah was her most uncontrollable child.
Paige was doing her best to keep her out of trouble.
? I had P.E with her and that fucking pervert checked me out while I was changing.
I don't understand why Coach hadn't made her change in a separate room already.
But anyway, I couldn't let that go. So, when no one was around at the end of class, I cornered that bitch and confronted her about what she did and what she did to Gracie. ? she said smiling brightly.
Oh, God.
? Oh, please, details ? Ivanna said with excitement ? Did you fight? Did she cry? ?
Sarah chuckled. A knot started to form in the pit of my stomach, my heart was hammering in my chest I could even feel it resonating in my head.
? Nah, I just scared the shit out of her.
You should have seen her face, she became so pale, it's pathetic.
? she laughed ? I told her to stop looking at girls like that and to stop looking at Gracie, period.
Or else my fist would meet her face. And you know what that asshole responded?
That she was doing nothing wrong so I should leave her alone.
The nerves. Nothing wrong my ass. She's probably masturbating at night, thinking of what she saw in the locker room ?.
Bella gasped loudly, eyes wide open in shock.
? Oh, come on Sarah! We're eating. Damn it ? Paige scolded her ? And look what you did to the kid ? she added gesturing toward Bella.
? I've pictured it in my head and now I can't unsee it ? Bella blurted out.
? Well done, Sarah ?.
I lowered my head, distractingly putting spaghetti in my mouth while they continued arguing. I hoped Colleen was ok.
Why did I care so much about her? Colleen was not a good person. NOT A GOOD PERSON. I kept repeating it over and over again but it was no use. Her kind eyes kept flashing in my mind.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMN IT Why was everything so complicated?
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From the doorway of my literature class, I was able to see her. She was sitting at her desk, arranging some pieces of paper. I had the folder that she put in my locker tightly pressed against my chest. My heart was pounding.
I needed to do it. Before the girls could intervene even more between her and me. It was now or never.
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Colleen POV:
I put my pens in order on the right side of my desk, making them perfectly aligned. When I was under a lot of stress my OCD's tended to intensify.
After Sarah's little stunt this morning, I had to rush to the restroom so that no one would catch a glance at my panic attack. I didn't want to give them the pleasure to witness me in that state.
But what provoked my panic attack wasn't Sarah herself. It was rather what she said about Gracie.
She told them I was looking weirdly at her, making her uncomfortable. My heart was breaking slowly in my chest. Deep inside I was ashamed of myself. I never wanted to make Gracie feel bad. But here we were.
Maybe I should stop trying to interact with her?
? Co...Colleen? ?
I lifted my head so fast I almost broke my neck.
There she was. Standing before me. Gracie Slater.
And this time, she was the one to come forward. The one who started the conversation.
Maybe...Just maybe, there was hope.
? Th...Thank you...for...the folder ? she said with a shy smile.
It had been a long time since I had seen that smile. At that moment, I felt a bit nostalgic. I missed it. 'I miss you' I screamed internally to her the words that couldn't leave my mouth.
? You...You're...welcome ?. It was my turn to stutter now. I couldn't control myself around her. I never could. Certainly not before and still not now.
She sat at her desk next to mine, pulling out what she needed from her bag. I didn't dare to look in her direction, not after what Sarah said. Her words were still resonating in my head.
I thought Gracie was just being polite, thanking me for the folder and that there was nothing more to it. Maybe the brainwash had worked this time and she really hated me now. Until she surprised me by spoking again.
? I know what Sarah did ? she said with a sad expression on her face ? I'm sorry ?.
My eyes met hers.
She meant it. I could see it. She had this intense sparkling in her eyes whenever she was sad. Like a night sky full of stars, it sounded beautiful and poetic but it broke my heart every single time I saw it.
? It's OK ? I replied, sending her a little smile in reassurance. ? I'm used to it ?.
She examined me for a bit. I hold my breath.
This conversation was some kind of Deja vu for me.
Her gaze was taking in every little detail of my face like she just discovered some kind of treasure.
I blushed under it. Then, her brows slightly furrowed like she tried to remember something.
Did she try to remember me somehow? Or maybe it was just a delusion of my part, some wishful thinking.
Her eyes locked with mine again. I let out the breath I was holding. She was my oxygen and when our eyes met I felt free again. She was my salvation. When I looked at her I knew what was my purpose in this world.
Her next words however completely took my breath away.
? We knew each other before, didn't we? ?.
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Flashback:
My phone buzzed at my desk, I'd just stepped out of the shower and was putting on my pajamas. I almost fell when I reached for it while I was putting on my pajama pants at the same time.
OK, one step at the time.
I pull it all the way up and then took my phone. A smile immediately spread on my face when I saw who it was.
Since Gracie and I had exchanged phone numbers, we texted almost every day.
Mostly to say stupid things, share funny things we found on the internet.
It allowed me to see a whole new side of Gracie.
A kind and cute side. Who would have thought Gracie Slater could be nice to someone other than her friends.
We had the same sense of humor and even if we were so different from each other somehow we always find something to talk about.
Gracie Slater: Hey! Did you finish your literature homework?
Colleen Witzel: Thanks the Lord I did.
Gracie: I just finished it too. My brain is gonna explode :/.
Colleen: Don't talk about it. I had to take a shower if I still wanted to have hair on my head tomorrow. And the fire in my brain took a long time to take out.
Gracie: LMAO. I laughed so hard my dad came into my room asking if I was ok.
Colleen: Glad that my suffering made you laugh.
Gracie: Don't take it like that. I'm so tired that everything is SUPER funny. Also, it has been a while since someone made me laugh like that. So thanks. :)
Colleen: They should try harder then. You have a beautiful smile.
Oh shit! What did I do? Did I go too far? Was it flirting? I hoped she didn't take it the wrong way.
I was frozen in place, holding my breath. Every second I was waiting for her answer felt like hours. My eyes were fixed on the screen.
The three dots appeared. My heartbeat fastened. And then:
Gracie: Thanks :)
Gracie: I like talking to you.
My smile couldn't be wider. And once again I felt bold.
Colleen: Is it because I complimented you? Is that it?
Gracie: Maybe ;)
Colleen: Woah! I'm sad now. I thought you liked me for me.
Colleen: And me who thought we could have been friends :(
Gracie: Wait a minute. I thought we were already friends?
My heart skipped a beat.
Colleen: Yes, we are :)
End of flashback.
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? We knew each other before, didn't we? ?.
? Yes, We did ?.