Chapter 6
SIX
CIARA
“What do you think of this one?” Isobel held something up in front of the mirror, but I wasn’t really paying attention.
Our shopping trip hadn’t been the great distraction I’d been hoping for. My mind was far too full of all the things I wished I’d said the other night. “Super cute.”
The silence spun out way too long before I finally met her gaze in the mirror to find one blonde brow arched. I refocused to take in the neon-pink leopard print and faux-feather-lined monstrosity of a jumpsuit in her hand.
Busted.
“I mean, it would definitely make a statement at the release party.” Not that Isobel would be caught dead in such an outfit. Every part of her professional brand as Elizabeth Duncan screamed class.
She hung the eyesore back on the rack. “Right. We’re going for lunch, where I’m going to ply you with wine, and you’re going to tell me what’s on your mind.”
What was on my mind was Alex. I couldn’t very well tell her about that, given he was one of Ewan’s closest friends. As I’d predicted, I’d seen him around town three times in the past four days. He’d done as I asked and kept his distance, but that only helped so much. Just seeing him physically hurt. And when I didn’t see him, it seemed like every bleeding person in the village was talking about him and his mates and their adventure company. Not that I blamed them. It was the biggest news to hit Glenlaig since Afton pulled a runaway bride on my cousin Connor and shifted the three-hundred-year-old marriage pact binding their families onto Kyla’s shoulders.
I didn’t fight as Isobel led me from the boutique. There was no point. Her stubbornness wasn’t anywhere near as overt as my occasionally blockheaded brother’s, but it was just as potent and a hell of a lot sneakier. By the time we’d settled in a cozy back booth in some upscale eatery, I still hadn’t figured out what to tell her.
She smiled sweetly at the server. “Can you bring us a bottle of the house Cab?”
As the guy nodded and walked away, I went brows up. “A bottle? Is it going to be one of those lunches, then?”
“For one, you’ve been working your arse off and deserve it. For another, a glass might not be enough to loosen your tongue.”
“So it’s to be an interrogation? Have you been taking direction from Ewan?”
“I don’t need special forces training to see that something is seriously bothering you. Is this to do with Brodie?”
“No.” I appreciated not having to lie. Yet, anyway. The one good thing to come from all of this was that I was no longer wasting brain space worrying about running into him anywhere I went.
“Okay, then what is it?”
When I just stared at her, she sighed. “Look, you’ve been a friend to me from the moment we met. Give me the chance to return the favor. If you need to talk about something, whatever this is, it stays between us. Contrary to your apparent belief, I don’t share everything with Ewan. I do know how to keep a secret.”
That was true enough. She’d kept her identity under wraps for months when she’d hidden out in Glenlaig. For a long time, we’d known only that she was a woman in trouble. That had been enough for all of us to circle the wagons.
I wished my problem was as simple as hiding out from an obvious villain. But nothing about the situation with Alex was simple or easy. We shared too many other connections beyond our own. I’d never told a soul what had happened, and a part of me wanted to spill out everything to Isobel.
The server came back with our wine. We placed our lunch orders, and I sat back in the booth fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth.
She must’ve sensed me weakening. “Ciara, truly, I just want to help.”
Maybe it would be better to talk it through with someone else. I believed her when she said she wouldn’t divulge anything I said to my brother.
“You can’t, under any circumstances, tell Ewan if you value him staying out of prison for murder.”
Isobel blinked, her brows drawing together. “If this has to do with something that compromises your safety?—”
“No, no. It’s not that.” I knew my physical person was as safe with Alex as it would be with Ewan himself. “Just promise.”
“Alright. I promise.”
To buy myself some time, I picked up my glass and sipped, hoping the alcohol would grant me a little courage. “Did you ever watch that old movie from the nineties, Before Sunrise ?”
Her face brightened. “Oh, your mum had me watch it sometime last year.”
“It’s one of her favorites. Was always one of mine, too.”
“Ethan Hawke really had a look about him back then.”
“He did.”
“What does that have to do with what’s going on with you?”
“Well, right before I graduated uni, I kind of had my own personal version. I met someone on the train back from a job in London. Instant connection. Fireworks. The whole bit.”
There went that brow again. “The whole bit?”
My brain helpfully flashed back to what it had felt like to come apart beneath his hands and his mouth. A flush worked its way from my hairline to my toes, and I took a bigger gulp of the wine.
“We had one incredible night. We were both in places of transition, so I didn’t expect anything else, even though it felt like we had a soul deep recognition of each other. He was the one who said he wanted to see me again. He made sure to get my number, made sure that it had been typed in correctly. And he said as soon as he figured out his plans, I’d be the first to know.”
Isobel leaned forward, both elbows on the table. “So what happened?”
I looked down into the deep red of my wine. “He ghosted me. I messaged him a few times, but he never replied. So I let it go. Tried to let it go.”
On a soft sound of distress, she reached out to cover my hand with hers. “But it didn’t work.”
“No. No, it did not. I was still thinking about him when I started dating Brodie. I guess I thought if I threw myself into a real relationship, it would all go away. I’d get over it. But I didn’t. Which was only one of the problems with that relationship. But that’s not the issue.”
“So what’s going on? Did you hear from him? Your train affair?”
“Oh, it’s so much worse than that. He just moved to Glenlaig.”
Isobel’s eyes widened, and comprehension dawned. “Oh, my God. Is it…”
I sighed. “It’s Alex.”
“Alex Conroy?”
“Aye.”
“Now I understand the concern about Ewan going to jail for murder. Definitely, definitely not telling him. Did you not know who Alex was?”
“No. I guessed he’d been military, but we didn’t talk about that. We didn’t even share last names until after. He didn’t know Ewan was my brother until sometime later.” I paused as something new occurred to me. “He was going to meet a mate in Inverness when he left Edinburgh. Hell, he was probably coming to see Ewan then.”
Jesus. If he’d gone essentially straight from my bed to finding out that I was his friend’s sister…
“Oh, well, I imagine that was a shock. You’ve seen him, then. Since he moved to town?”
“Oh, yes. Ewan introduced us at the pub on Saturday night.”
“Oh God. What happened?”
“He pretended like he’d never met me before.”
Isobel’s shocked expression turned into a scowl. “Bastard.”
Her instant defense made me smile, just a little. It meant something that she’d taken my side, because I knew she really liked Alex and Finn. She’d gotten to know them well when they were acting as security for the end of her tour.
“You know, over the years, I imagined so many scenarios of seeing him again. I spent so much time thinking about what I’d say. I wanted to make it absolutely clear how little he mattered to me. To make him feel as small and insignificant as I did.”
I hated the empathy shining in her eyes. Hated, too, the fresh burn of tears I felt in my own as she squeezed my hand. I’d been skating so close to an emotional edge for days, barely holding it together. I’d promised myself I’d shed my last tear over Alex Conroy.
Shoving my roiling emotions down deep, I pulled my hand away and sipped more wine. “None of those scenarios involved him moving to my home, where I’ll have to see him all the time, and him giving some shitty, half-arsed apology, where he said he made the promise because he intended to keep it at the time, and then didn’t tell me why he couldn’t or didn’t.”
“You don’t think it was finding out your connection to Ewan?”
“He made it sound like that wasn’t all there was to it. Even if that was the reason, he could have texted me and said he didn’t know who I was. It would have been pure mince, but at least he could have acknowledged something, instead of leaving me in radio silence all this time. The kind thing to do would have been giving me some bloody resolution instead of leaving me to wonder.”
Isobel bit her bottom lip. “Maybe he had a good reason.”
“If he had a good reason, why wouldn’t he share it?”
Something flashed over her face that made me think she knew something. “I don’t know, but I do know he’s been through a lot in the past few years. None of which is mine to tell.”
Damn if that didn’t spark my curiosity. I didn’t want to waste more time on this man. I didn’t want to keep thinking about him. About the might-have-beens or the what-ifs.
The server came back with our food, and I took the opportunity to drain the last of my glass. “Well, it’s resolved now. Not especially well, but he’s made some kind of an apology, and it’s time for me to move on. We’ve both just got to find a way to navigate around each other.”
Isobel plainly thought that was a terrible idea, but she didn’t belabor the point. “Okay. That’s your call. I won’t say anything to anyone.”
The tension that had lodged in my shoulders as we’d talked drained out. “Thank you for listening. I do feel better for having told someone.”
“Of course. And since this scenario is apparently not going to result in some sort of fabulous reunion sex, I’m springing for dessert.”