Chapter Thirty-Three
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
OUR FAMILY IS GATHERED for a lantern ceremony in an open field outside downtown Haven. We extended an invitation to anyone in town who wanted to join. I swear the whole town showed, including Beau, other members of the sheriff’s office, Sergeant James Warren from State, and Sheriff Rhett Wilson from Puck County. I wasn’t surprised to see Beau or the other officers. Hell, I wasn’t even surprised to see Sergeant Warren. There was only one person I was surprised to see: Sheriff Wilson. Why was he here?
I had developed a rapport with the others, but not him. He was the only person who avoided me unless he had to speak with me. Not that it bothered me much. Something about him makes me feel uneasy…It’s hard to explain.
“Uncle Beau!” Elena waves wildly when she sees him. Before I can tell her to wait, she sprints in his direction. Beau doesn’t hesitate, lifting her off her feet and swinging her through the air; a chorus of giggles follows. He sits Elena on his hip. Her arms wrap around his neck tightly, and she presses her head against his cheek.
“I think I found something that belongs to you,” he says, finding me in the crowd.
“Momma, can I stay with Uncle Beau?” Elena asks, electing him as her official handler for the ceremony. She tightens her grip around his neck, giving me her biggest and brightest please, please, please eyes.
“If he’s okay with it, I’m okay with it,” I say, unable to deny her request. I wasn’t going to deny her any source of comfort today, even if it was bound to piss off her Uncle Alex.
Beau readjusts Elena to sit on his shoulders and her hands grip the top of his head, patting his skin affectionately. Her eyes scan the crowd, an advantage from her new height, and she waves at someone in the distance. When Beau is comfortable with her position, he raises his eyes to meet mine again. “Hi,” he says with a small smile.
“Hey.” Some of the anxiety I have been feeling disappears when I hug him and he returns the gesture. We stand in the embrace for a moment longer than we probably should, but I don’t care. “Thank you for being here,” I say when we part.
“Whatever you need, Sweetheart.” He wraps his hands around Elena’s calves and motions me forward to where the rest of the family waits.
“You guys know Sheriff Turner,” I say, approaching them.
“Beau.” Jimmy is the first to step forward, extending his hand, which Beau takes without question. “Good to see you.”
“Wish it was under better circumstances,” Beau says.
“Don’t we all?”
One by one, everyone welcomes Beau without a second glance, except Alex, who keeps his distance. Every so often I notice the sideways glances he shoots at Beau or me, but at least he keeps his mouth shut. After our conversation yesterday, I wouldn’t be surprised if Lara warned him against causing a scene today. I make a mental note to thank her when we get home.
The ceremony happens in the blink of an eye, and before I know it, Jimmy invites Beau to join us for dinner. I thought about it but didn’t want to push the boundaries, especially not today. But if Jimmy is okay with it, who am I to say no? Beau looks at me for confirmation and I don’t hesitate to nod.
When we get to the table, I smile when Beau sits on the other side of Elena without hesitation. Halfway through dinner, I feel his touch on my shoulder, sending a wave of fire across my skin. It makes me crave his touch everywhere else. Makes me yearn for him in a way I know I shouldn’t. And it makes me want to finish what we started this morning in his office…and the only thought I have is, I am so fucked.
“That was Mom,” Kai says, walking into the kitchen. I stand with my hands under the faucet, filling them with cold water before bringing them to my face, trying everything I can to erase the thoughts of Beau from my head, at least for now. It doesn’t feel right to have these kinds of thoughts on today of all days.
Fucked.
I am so fucked.
“You good, Nin?” Kai asks when I come up for air. His brow is cocked so high it’s practically in his hair.
“Fine.” I sigh, wiping my face with a clean towel. “What did Brina have to say?” At the mention of her name, his eyes drop to the marbled counter, his fingers picking at an invisible speck. Placing my hand on top of his, I squeeze his fingers. “Kai, what’s going on?”
“She’s in the hospital.”
Shit. I sigh. Already? It’s barely been three months.
“Nin, it’s not…” He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, taking a deep breath to wrangle in his emotions. “I had to talk to the nurse because Mom was irritated and distracted. She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t there. Why we both aren’t there. She even asked about Dad.”
“She doesn’t remember?”
“The nurse said pancreatic cancer can affect the memory, especially with the chemo.”
“How long?” I ask.
Kai shrugs. “Honestly, the nurse said to be prepared.”
I sigh, pulling my brother into a tight embrace and rubbing my hand down his back. “I’m sorry, Kai.”
We stand there for a few quiet moments before he finally pulls away and wipes under his eyes.
“We’ll be in the city tomorrow. You should go see her.”
“Do you…Do you want to come with me?” His voice is small, asking the question he already knows the answer to.
No, I don’t want to go with him. But without Eileen there, who else is going to do it? And it’s not like Elizabeth will go. She wants nothing to do with her, either.
“I know you said—”
“Sure,” I say, a bottomless pit forming in my stomach. The thought of going to visit Brina in the hospital makes me sick, but I know it’s the right thing to do. “Yeah, Kai. I’ll go with you.”
Maybe it sounds terrible, but at least talking about my dying mother helps take my mind off a certain sheriff.
“It was nice to see Beau tonight,” he says.
There goes that sentiment.
I avoid making eye contact with my brother, and now it’s my turn to pick at an invisible speck on the counter.
“I guess I didn’t realize how close he and Elena were.”
I shrug. “He’s been nice to her through this whole thing.”
“I think it’s a little more than that.”
“Kai—”
“Nina, if he makes you happy, why not—”
“Because I’m not ready,” I snap, finally looking up at him. “I’m not…” I sigh. “I’m not looking for anything right now. I’m still trying to navigate this new life without Nick and it’s not…It hasn’t been easy, but having Beau’s help has made it a little easier.”
“You like him?” My brother asks.
“Non posso.”
“How do you not know?” Kai lifts my chin so I’m forced to look at him. “Nina, it’s okay to admit you like him. It doesn’t mean you love Nick any less.”
Tears flood my eyes, and when I try to pull away from him, he doesn’t let me.
“I’m selling the house,” I say without thinking. “I’m—I’m moving back to New York.”
“Oh.” Kai drops his hold on my face and chews on the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, I guess that does change things. Does Beau know?”
I shake my head. “Not yet. I just…I just decided a few days ago. I’m supposed to meet with a realtor next week.”
“And what if you tell him and he says he wants you to stay?”
“Non lo farà.” I scoff. He won’t.
“Sure he would, if he thought it would change your mind.” Kai shrugs. “What if he asks to come with you to New York?”
This time, I laugh. What is he smoking? My brother is delusional if he thinks Beau Turner would ever pack up and leave Haven for New York. This is his home, this is where his life is. He’s the sheriff for godsakes. “Ora stai delirando.”
“I am not. From what I saw tonight...I think anything is possible.”
“Stai zitto, Kai. Just shut up.”
My brother raises his hands in surrender. “All I’m saying is he’s not a bad option.”
“I’m not looking for an option right now, Kai.”
“What are we talking about?” Elizabeth asks, joining us from the hallway after putting her daughter, Nova, to bed.
“Nina and Beau,” Kai says, taking an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter.
“Oh my… Stai zitto! ” I hiss at my brother, swiping at him across the island. Kai dodges the swings, laughing the whole time.
He needs to shut up, right now.
“Why? He’s not wrong,” Elizabeth says with a smile. “You guys are cute together. Besides, he loves Elena.”
I wonder if they know how impossible they are making it to take my mind off Beau and the way my entire being has yearned for him since I was in his office this morning.
“Lascia perdere! Entrambi.” I plead for them to drop it before someone else overhears the conversation. My siblings share a glance and laugh as I roll my eyes, stalking out of the kitchen to my room. “You’re both insufferable.”