Chapter 14 #2
“Because you were intentionally vague with your answer.”
“I swear I’m not being intentionally vague.” His amusement was evident. “There’s just not much to tell as far as relationships go.”
“Well, let’s try,” I probed.
“I’ll try if you try,” he countered. “I’m not the only one being vague.”
“What—”
“My last real relationship was in college,” he started, interrupting my protests. “Her name was Milan. We dated for a while, but soon after I started on the practice squad, we broke up.”
“Oh wow. I’m sorry. Were you two in love?”
“We were young, and I thought it was love. But even at the time, I knew it wasn’t that deep. So it worked out for the best for both of us. I need something real, and she only wanted to be with a pro baller.”
I furrowed my brows in confusion. “But you are a pro baller…? You literally play football as your profession … That’s the definition of a pro baller.”
“She didn’t see it that way.” He chuckled. “I got a professional schedule without the perks. And the schedule is demanding. During the regular season, we practice four days a week, one day is for meetings, conditioning, and training, and then there’s game day.”
“That’s why she broke up with you?”
“Officially, she left because she said I didn’t have enough time for her. But unofficially, yeah. I have a league schedule without the big contract, the money, or the fame.”
“And that’s what she was after?”
“Yeah. That’s what she told her people. She meant to send the text to them, but she accidentally sent it to me.”
My eyes widened. “Wow … that’s messed up,” I murmured.
“It worked out the way it was supposed to. We weren’t friends.
We weren’t compatible. Turns out, she didn’t like football.
She liked the idea of being with a football player.
Those are two completely different things.
My life is football, and I can’t be with anyone who doesn’t love it.
” He paused. “It was a good lesson to learn.”
The knot in my belly tightened. “Anytime you can learn and grow from a situation, it’s a good look. But still … that sucks.”
“Yeah, but it ended three and a half years ago. That’s why I said there’s not much to tell.”
“You haven’t dated in three and a half years?!” I exclaimed.
“I’ve dated and talked to women since then. But you asked me about relationships, and I haven’t had a relationship since then. I don’t have a lot of time, so I haven’t invested in anyone. Have you dated since your divorce?”
“No, I haven’t,” I answered sheepishly.
That’s why I couldn’t control myself around you the last time we saw each other, I explained silently.
“Why not?”
“After what I went through, I just didn’t have the energy. I’d rather spend my time with people I genuinely like than to spend my time on dates with strangers.”
“Valid. But everybody was a stranger to you at one point in time.”
I rolled my eyes. “You sound like Aunt Addy.”
“My mom said that at any point of the relationship, anyone can be a stranger to you. Whether you’ve just met them or you’ve known them for twenty years.”
I reflected on that. “That’s deep. That’s that old-school mom wisdom.”
He paused. “So now I sound like your aunt and my mom.”
I laughed. “That’s not a bad thing!”
“I mean…” He yawned.
“Aight, it’s time for bed. I have to wake up early for my swim pretest, and you have your meeting tomorrow,” I told him.
“Yeah. It’s not until the afternoon, so I’ll probably try to sleep in, but hit me up and let me know how you did.”
“I will. You, too!” I put my hand to my chest. “Have a good night.”
“Goodnight, Jazmyn.”
I exhaled as I ended the call.
Within minutes, I was fast asleep.
I woke up in a good mood and did well on my swim pretest. I knew my conversation with Lamar had a little to do with that.
My mood was brightened even more when I told Aunt Addy, since she insisted on being present for my official testing on Wednesday.
The fact that she was feeling up to it made me happy because her energy levels had been dwindling.
So, on Wednesday, I swam from one end of the pool to the other with my aunt and Monica beaming as they watched.
“I’m so proud of you,” Aunt Addy told me when I ran over to her. “You did it! You overcame the past. You should be proud of yourself.”
With water still dripping from me, I resisted the urge to hug her by pulling my towel around me tighter.
I am proud of myself.
“Thank you for pushing me to do it. This feels good.”
“What time did you say your parents were coming over?” she asked.
“Noon.”
“Are they bringing lunch?”
I laughed. “I think so, but I’m not sure.”
She shook her head and then looked at Monica. “Remind me to call them at nine o’clock. It’s too early right now.”
“It absolutely is too early,” Monica responded. She turned to me. “But I am glad to witness you accomplish this.”
I grinned. “Thank you!”
I said goodbye to them and got back into the water. I practiced my stroke on my own and marveled at how good I’d gotten in two and a half weeks.
I’m still not going to the six-foot side, I thought, looking over at where my instructor was working with a couple of kids in the deep end.
An hour later, I was sitting at that same tattoo parlor I’d visited with Aunt Addy, getting my African violet tattoo and my belly button pierced.
I didn’t tell her I was doing it. I planned on surprising my aunt with three things off my list instead of one when I returned to her house.
So, when I entered the living room, I wasn’t expecting to be the one surprised.
“Not a cake!” I cried, staring at the sheet cake with You can swim! scrawled in icing. “Thank you.”
“Now we have to wait until your parents get here to cut it since they’re bringing lunch,” Aunt Addy told me from her chair. “But we just wanted you to know how proud we are of you.”
I squatted beside her to give her a hug instead of leaning down like I’d normally do. “Thank you, Aunt Addy.” After giving her a squeeze, I turned to Monica, who had picked up the cake to take to the kitchen. “Thank you, too, Monica.”
“What took you so long to get back here?” Aunt Addy asked. “We had that cake sitting for an hour and a half.”
Rising to my feet, I laughed. “Well, actually, I have a surprise for you, too.” I extended my arm, showing her my wrist and the tattooed flower in the exact same spot as hers.
As she oohed and ahhed, I lifted my T-shirt so she could see the L-shaped bar that went through my reddened skin.
The jeweled ends sparkled when the sun hit it.
“I knocked three things off my list today.”
Aunt Addy’s eyes widened. “Oh wow! You really did it.”
She tried to lean forward to get a better look, but I could tell she was struggling. So I stepped forward.
“Jazmyn, it’s beautiful,” she murmured, inspecting the piercing. “I’m so proud of you.” A sentimental smile tugged at her lips as she met my gaze. “Twelve-year-old you is proud of you, too.”
Hearing that choked me up. My eyes watered, and I blinked rapidly. “Thanks.”
“Lookin’ good, Jazmyn!” Monica commented as she strolled back into the room.
The distraction kept my tears at bay and I smiled. “You like?”
She nodded. “I had one when I was your age.”
“I bet you did,” Aunt Addy commented comically.
We all laughed.
She turned her attention back to me. “Did it hurt?”
“It didn’t hurt, but it felt weird,” I explained, dropping my shirt and taking a seat on the couch.
“Just make sure it doesn’t get infected,” Monica warned.
I nodded. “That’s why I had to wait until after my swim lessons.”
“Twenty-five years ago…”
Aunt Addy and I chuckled as we listened to Monica’s story of her “wild” youth.
Hearing my aunt and her nurse go back and forth about who had more wild adventures in their twenties was hilarious and heartwarming at the exact same time.
But it really made me think about my twenties, what I’d done, and the stories I’d have to share about my life.
I’m really the most boring person in the room right now.
Monica had just helped my aunt into the recliner when there was a knock at the door. I got up and opened it. I’d been so caught up in their shenanigans, I hadn’t mentally prepared for the reunion with my parents.
I loved Mom and Dad, and they were fundamentally good people.
But their preoccupation with perfection and with what other people thought of them had done a number on me growing up.
In my adulthood, they weren’t the most supportive when ideas or lifestyle choices didn’t align with what they perceived to be the best option.
They would worry and offer help in an overbearing and oppressive way if I diverged from their path.
But I never doubted they had my best interest at heart.
They just never really saw me for who I was.
Or who I am.
“My beautiful daughter,” my mom greeted me as soon as her eyes landed on me. She looked me up and down in my black yoga pants and my BACKFIELD IN MOTION T-shirt. “In her crude shirt choice.”
I rolled my eyes as we hugged. “Mom, it’s not crude.”
She walked in, and my dad looked at me and laughed. “Jazmyn!” He gave me a tight hug with one arm. The other arm held a bag of food. “It’s a football reference,” he explained to Mom.
After he came in, I closed the door behind them.
The house suddenly felt crowded.
Mom and Dad hadn’t seen Aunt Addison in a wheelchair before.
They fussed over her, and she fussed at them for treating her like a child.
They asked Monica a million questions, and she patiently answered each one.
It was fascinating, but it was the perfect representation of how they operated.
Their love was evident, but their methods were domineering.
“Why didn’t you tell us about this?” Mom asked me as we sat around the living room eating lunch. “We could’ve come back early.”
“Because you would’ve come back early,” Aunt Addy answered for me.
I burst out laughing and almost choked on my greens.