Chapter 31
The rest of the week was a blur, and I did a good job of keeping my emotions in check. But when I arrived at the event space for Aunt Addy’s memorial service on Friday, my eyes watered, and I literally gasped.
Jazmyn Payne: Lamar! These flowers are beautiful! Thank you! You did not have to do this! Aunt Addy would’ve loved this!
Lamar Anderson: You’re welcome. Since the two of you had African violets on your wrists, I figured it had to be one of your favorite flowers. I’m glad you like it and that you think she would’ve liked it, too.
Jazmyn Payne: She would’ve loved it! I love it! Thank you for being you. Not just for this. But this is just another example of how amazing you are. But I mean, in totality, thank you. I appreciate you.
Lamar Anderson: You don’t have to thank me. I just wish I could be there with you. Let me know if there’s anything you need or anything I can do.
Aunt Addy had planned everything, so the flowers he’d had delivered perfectly accentuated the flowers that were already there.
Even though it was October, the banquet hall had been transformed into some sort of spring garden party.
There were flowers everywhere and twenty poster-sized photos of her that populated the space on easels.
The program was a picture-packed booklet of her life and contributions both in and out of Chance.
One side of the room had a dance floor, round dinner tables, a band setup, and a dessert table.
The other side of the room had rows of chairs facing an elevated platform.
In front of that platform were African violets surrounding a unique jewel-encrusted urn that looked more like art than a place to store ashes.
As the memorial service began, I sat with my parents to my right and Nina and Aaliyah to my left.
Relatives filled a few of the rows behind us.
Every other chair was occupied with friends of Aunt Addy from Chance and all over the country.
I didn’t know most of the people, and the venue had standing room only when I looked back at the crowd.
Seeing the impact my aunt had made and how loved she was restored something in me.
The pastor stepped on the platform, and a hush fell over the crowd.
“Good evening, everyone,” he started. “I’m Reverend Brown…”
Five minutes into Rev. Brown’s sermon, I became emotional.
When the soloist performed and then the choir, my eyes watered.
When people were invited to speak about their love for Aunt Addy, my throat burned.
But when the final speaker was announced, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold it together.
My parents and I had said we weren’t going to speak. My aunt had written in her directions that she didn’t want the pressure on us to speak and to let others take the lead. So I’d had no idea my dad had prepared any remarks, and from the look on my mom’s face, she hadn’t either.
“Hello, everyone,” Dad started, looking around the crowded space.
“I’m Richard Payne, and Addison Payne was my younger sister.
” He inhaled shakily, and that breath was caught on the microphone.
His pain could be both heard and seen. “Our parents worked long, hard hours so that we’d have a better life than they had.
Since they were working, I was the one tasked with taking care of Addison up until I was able to go to college.
If you only knew her as an adult, she was the same way as a child.
She was a handful, but she always had purpose.
I didn’t agree with her choices or the risks she’d take, but she always had a reason behind it.
It was my job to protect her from the harm that could come her way.
That’s how I was taught to love.” He frowned, looking down at the urn.
“Taking care of Addison has always been what I was tasked to do.” He paused, looking around.
“But I couldn’t take care of this. I couldn’t protect her from this.
And the only thing that gives me solace is knowing that she lived her life to the fullest. She had that spark in her.
She didn’t waste a minute. So, when you remember Addison, when you remember Addy, remember to not waste a minute of life.
Remember to live it to the fullest. Thank you. ”
I wept hearing the emotion in my father, but also because I was moved by his words. I finally understood where his protectiveness, overbearingness, and quest for perfection came from. As he walked back to his seat, I felt like I knew him better.
After a prayer, the reverend stepped off the podium, and there was an announcement that dinner was about to be served.
We sat down to eat, and then the band started to play.
If it weren’t for the urn in the middle of the room and the funeral programs littering the tables, it would look like a party and not a repast.
A smile tugged at my lips as I looked around. Just the way she wanted it.
“What are you thinking?” Nina asked.
“Aunt Addy would’ve loved this,” I answered.
Aaliyah reached over and squeezed my hand. “Yes, she would’ve.”
The event was a rousing success. There was so much joy, light, and love in the room that I could feel her with us. With a soft smile, I watched people take flowers with them as they said their final goodbyes to Addison Payne.
This is the party of her dreams.
After hugging my parents, Rose, Monica, and extended family members, I left with my best friends. We were staying at Aunt Addy’s house overnight before heading back to Richland after brunch Saturday morning.
The love we show at funerals should be shown on birthdays. We should make sure the love is heard and felt in life instead of hoarded until death. I looked around, pleased. Aunt Addy would’ve loved this.
I was so glad to have my girls with me at Aunt Addy’s because it was so quiet and still in there when we arrived.
I would’ve never been able to be there by myself so soon after the memorial service.
But being in the home of the only person who’d understood and accepted me in Chance with the first people who’d understood and accepted when I got to Hamilton University, I felt something within my soul sync up.
I was going to miss Aunt Addy forever, but as I fell asleep in my aunt’s bedroom, peace blanketed me.
Wake up.
Saturday morning, my eyes opened, and it took me a few seconds to realize where I was. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I looked around.
I miss her.
I was up early, a few hours before my parents were coming with brunch, and I got ready for the day. I sat and reflected for a while before coming out of the bedroom. I heard the shower going and movement in the kitchen, so I knew my best friends were up as well.
“Good morning,” I said to Nina, who was at the kitchen table, wide-eyed, staring at her phone. “I love that outfit.”
The burnt-orange jumpsuit immediately caught my attention.
“Thank you. It’s an RLF original,” she said distractedly.
“Perks of the job or…?” I noticed her frown. “Nina, what’s wrong?”
“I’m just reporting pages and hopefully getting assholes banned from using social media.”
“Why do people waste their time and energy sitting online, trash-talking people they don’t know? It’s dumb.”
“It is,” she agreed.
“What are they saying?”
She didn’t respond immediately, and Nina never shied away from talking about the nonsense that was spewed about her online.
My stomach twisted.
“Nina,” I said firmly. “Tell me.”
“Oh, no, I’m not even looking at the comments anymore.” She glanced up at me momentarily. “It’s something else.”
“What is it?”
“Your parents are going to be here any minute. I don’t think—”
“Tell me,” I demanded, interrupting her. Bracing myself, I took a deep breath. “What is it?”
“It’s, um…” She cocked her head to the side.
Aaliyah walked in. “What’s going on?”
“Nina is about to show us something,” I told her, my eyes still focused on Nina.
Placing the phone on the table, her finger hovered over the play button. Milan, looking gorgeous, was frozen on the screen holding up a makeup brush. “This was posted.” Nina took out her earbud and then started the video.
“So, I’m heading to Maryland to go to the Monarchs game tomorrow.
Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to talk to Hollywood,” Milan said, wiggling her perfectly arched eyebrows.
“Anyone who knows him knows he’s never been big on social media.
He obviously doesn’t post much, but he also just isn’t online like the rest of us.
So I haven’t been able to contact him there, and I’m sure he hasn’t seen the sweet videos you’ve made about me.
I don’t want to reach out to his parents because that’ll make it awkward—they loved me—so I’m just going to go to where I know he is and see if sparks still fly between us.
Since we’re both single at the same time, I really do have high hopes for this reconnection.
And I’m not going to stop until I get him. So, fingers crossed! Wish me luck!”
The kitchen fell silent.
And then we all started talking at once.
“Oh, hell no.”
“Absolutely not.”
“What the fuck?”
“You’re gonna have to shut this down, Jazz,” Nina declared.
“And I was going to wait until we weren’t in Chance to say this, but Milan is a man-eater.
And while I respect the game, anyone who is willing to fly across the country to try to run into her ex at his job in hopes that he might be interested in reconnecting is operating in delusion. ”
“Did Lamar say anything about her contacting him?” Aaliyah asked.
I shook my head. “No. But let him tell it, even if she did, he wouldn’t be interested.”
“I believe that,” Nina stated. “But I think he’s going to have to make it clear that he’s not interested in Milan.”
“I think he’s going to have to make it clear he’s not single,” Aaliyah said.