Chapter 39
Thirty-Nine
Jaclyn
Present
Strong hands and a warm tongue trail up my thigh, slowly waking me.
I keep my eyes closed as Hayden makes his way to the spot between my legs. I spread my legs wider, urging him to come closer.
“Does it ache?” Hayden mumbles and I take the blankets off and see him lying there, between my legs and looking up at me like he needs me.
I nod my head, unable to say anything.
Hayden keeps his eyes on me as he leans forward and finally places his lips on me. His eyes are filled with lust and the way he grips my thighs causes goosebumps to spread across my body. His tongue flicks and swirls around my clit, hitting that same spot, over and over.
I feel like I might pass out from him doing that. All I can do is grab his shoulder with one hand and grip his hair with my other.
My hips move against his mouth, faster than he’s licking me. I force myself closer to him, feeling empty and wanting more.
Hayden knows because he adds a finger inside me. I gasp and grip onto his hair.
“Fuck you’re tight, even after so long. You were made for me, I swear,” he says against my clit, sending vibrations through me. When I move against his tongue and I feel him smile. “That’s it, princess. Ride my face and take it.” All I can do is moan. I’m a mess, sweat forming on my body as I grip and pull his hair to make him come closer. My eyes are clenched shut as I feel my release slowly coming closer and closer. “Eyes on me.”
At that I open my eyes and lift my head, watching him stare at me while I clench and unclench around his finger. My eyes want to shut so bad but I also love seeing pleasure take over Hayden’s face as he makes me feel good. The way his finger slides in and out of me, reaching so deep I swear I can feel him everywhere.
Last night he made sure that it was all about me and how I felt. I missed him and his touch, I fucking craved it and more last night.
He ended up waking me up in the middle of the night, from doing exactly what he is doing right now, and then he slid inside me and I swear I blacked out from how many times he made me cum. He still has the same stamina, if not better.
“Get out of your head and cum for me,” he mumbles and I swear, like clockwork, I cum all over his tongue.
My eyes squeeze shut and I try to close my legs around his face as he keeps going, not stopping for one second as his finger slides in and out of me at a fast pace. My legs shake around him and I grip his hair so hard, pulling him closer.
He slows down his pace as I come down from the high and I release his hair and the grip on his shoulder. I cover my eyes and try to calm my breathing down.
Jesus, he’s still crazy.
I don’t know how he’s the only one who’s able to do it.
I don’t ever remember being able to cum like this with anyone except Hayden.
He knows my body and how to play with it so well.
He knows me in general so well.
Hayden unwraps his arms from around my legs and climbs his way up my body. He uncovers my face and I open my eyes to stare up at him.
His finger goes towards my eye, not the one he touched me with, and he wipes a tear that I didn’t even realize has fallen. “Why are you crying?”
I laugh because I have no clue why. It’s not like I’m overthinking so there’s no reason for me to be crying.
I just miss him and how he made me feel so much.
I shake my head at him. “I just missed you,” I say, truthfully.
One of the main reasons why I think I was so unhappy over the years, was because after all this time I was missing him, even though I pretended I didn’t.
Hayden smiles down at me, a genuine smile. “You have no clue how much pain I was in without you for all these years.” His fingers trail through my hair. “I was a mess without you. Killian and Rowan had to be there to pick me up and put me together because I couldn’t do it without you.”
“How did you meet your brother?”
Hayden never told me the story but that’s only because we just started this thing again.
We have a lot of things to talk about.
Junior.
Hayden doesn’t answer me. Instead he moves and gets comfortable on the bed before pulling me on top of him so I’m sitting on his lap.
“We met at this fight that Kayden took me to a few months after we broke up. It was a special kind of club for very important and wealthy people. I met Rowan and after that he just started showing up more until he asked me to move to New York.”
“And Natalia and Chris followed you?”
Hayden shakes his head. “Not really. Chris got an offer for football so they were moving to New York anyways. I just followed Rowan.”
“Are you guys close?”
“Yea.” Hayden nods his head. “He is great. I definitely want you to meet him,” Hayden says as he runs his hand down my hip and rests it there. “He told me a lot about our dad and how he wasn’t the best person.”
Hayden told me his mother was a drug addict and he doesn’t care about her or the memories that include her.
He always wondered how his dad was.
“Why’s that?”
“Because he was a bad guy. He was affiliated with the mafia.”
The mafia.
I always knew that the mafia was a thing but I didn’t think they were still active or that I would ever know if they were actually real or not.
“The mafia is real?” I ask, looking up at Hayden.
He nods his head. “Yea.” He is silent for a few beats before he says, “I’m working for the Italian one.”
He’s working for the Italian one.
He is in the Italian mafia.
Hayden, the guy who is currently holding onto me and running his hand up and down my hip, is a part of a group that kills and tortures people and God knows what else.
I don’t know how to react because for some reason I just can’t believe him.
All I can think about is Junior.
How will this affect him?
Junior is the only concern that comes to mind.
“Say something,” Hayden whispers and kisses my forehead. “I hate when you’re quiet.”
I shake my head lightly. “I don’t know what to say. That’s a lot to process, Hayden.”
“I know, I just need to know what you’re thinking.”
Junior.
Junior.
Junior.
Junior.
That’s all I can think about but I can’t say it to Hayden.
My heart is beating so hard and fast to the point where I feel like I’m going to pass out.
“I need time to comprehend what you told me. Because I just can’t imagine the kind of danger you’ll get yourself into. I already know how the underground fighting was for you and now the Mafia. That’s insane.”
“I know.” Hayden turns me around so that I can look at him. “I just need to know you won’t run. I just thought you should know. I’m trying to be honest with you because I wasn’t before. You deserve that.”
“I know. I appreciate it, but Hayden, you said ‘mafia’ as if it’s some normal thing. The mafia is a big deal. How will it affect me or you?”
Or Junior .
“I don’t know. All I know is that no matter what, I don’t want to lose you and I will keep you safe no matter what.” Hayden grabs my face and rests his forehead against mine. “I’ll protect you. All you have to do is trust me.”
But trusting Hayden destroyed me.
“I want to. I’m just scared.”
Hayden nods his head. He wraps his arms around me and makes me rest my head on his chest.
We don’t say anything as I rest against Hayden. I try to clear my mind but all I can think about is what I’m getting myself into with him again.