Chapter 44
Forty-Four
Jaclyn
Present
The flight felt long, especially since I was ready to go back home to Junior.
Hayden is coming back to New York a little later just because he still had some work to do in Italy.
Mafia work.
He’s probably killing people as we speak.
But I can’t think of that. I have to distract my mind by the fact that this is all happening.
Too quickly?
Yes, but it’s happening.
I can’t deny Hayden seeing his son.
So he booked me a flight, first class even though I tried to tell him I was fine with economy. Hayden wouldn’t budge though. He dropped me off at the airport and kissed me goodbye. I already texted him that I landed because he told me too.
Things since Hayden found out about Junior have been weird. It feels like we’re both walking on eggshells around each other. After that night, all we seem to talk about now is Junior. It’s only been two days since I told him about Junior and he doesn’t stop asking questions about his son. I love how much Hayden wants to know more about his son.
He hasn’t pushed me at all to talk about that night with him and I’m glad because I hate reliving that day and having to talk about it.
I feel like ever since I told him everything about that night and Junior he’s been more in his head. Constantly thinking and wondering. I just wish he would act normal so I don’t constantly feel like there is something wrong with me.
I know he’s still mad, and I feel like he’s always going to hold a grudge over that, which is a valid reason but I hate it.
I just wish things were easier for us.
A familiar boy appears in my line of view making a smile appear on my face. I bend down to his level and once he’s close enough, Junior jumps into my arms and wraps his tiny arms around me. He places a big fat kiss on my cheek and starts laughing when I smother his face with kisses.
“I missed you so much baby,” I whisper while hugging him as if he’ll disappear. I smell his hair and it makes me want to just get in bed and cuddle with him.
I’ve always loved how Junior smells, he reminds me of home and after being away for so long, I’ve missed it.
“I missed you more,” Junior leans back to look at me and smile, a familiar sparkle in his eyes that reminds me of his father.
I raise my eyebrows at him. “Really? How much?”
Junior jumps off me and he opens his arms really wide. “This much, mama!”
I widen my eyes and continue smiling at him. “That is a lot of missing me, bud.” I look around and see Brandon walking up to us.
He grabs my bags from me before wrapping his arms around me for a hug.
“Your son is a menace. He would not stop running away from me when we were trying to find you. And once he saw you, he basically forgot about me and ran to you.”
I laugh and look down at Junior smiling. “He has his priorities straight.”
“What’s a priority?” Junior says, pronouncing ‘priority’ wrong which I can’t help but chuckle at a little.
“It means that you value something that’s more important to you than something else.”
“Oh,” Junior says before nodding his head like it all makes sense.
I look at Brandon. “How was the flight?” he asks.
“So long, so let's get to the car. I’m ready to go home.”
“I mean your flight was like ten fucking hours long so I bet.”
“Brandon said a bad boy word!” Junior points at Brandon which makes Brandon glare at Junior.
“You’re such a little snitch now that your mom is around.”
“That’s my boy,” I say before picking him up and kissing his cheek.
We all get in the Uber eventually and we put my bags in the back.
I’m so ready for a long shower and then some rest.
“So where is he?” Brandon asks as the car starts moving.
“He is still in Italy. He said he’ll fly out tonight and come over tomorrow. He just had to take care of some stuff before leaving,” I say before looking at Junior who is slowly falling asleep in my lap.
When I told Brandon about Hayden meeting Junior, Brandon was a little skeptical because in a way, Brandon is an important male figure in Junior's life. He may not be his father, but Brandon is the only guy I’ve let Junior around.
Hayden doesn’t even know this because I know how Hayden is.
He’s possessive to a fault and if he knows that someone else was his role in Junior’s life in any way, he won’t be happy at all.
“How are you guys going to break the news?”
I shrug and nip my bottom lip. “I have no clue. I think we’ll just go with the flow because with Junior and how he is, there is no certain way you can tell him or have a plan on how to tell him. You kind of just have to go with the flow.”
“How are you feeling about all this?”
“Does it really matter how I feel? I’m the one who caused all this.”
”Don’t say that.” Brandon narrows his eyes at me.
I look down at my hand, playing with the bracelet around my wrist. “But it is. I’m the one who didn’t tell Hayden and kept Junior from him so it is my fault.”
And I feel guilty about it all.
Like, will Junior be mad at me for keeping him from his father in the future? Will Hayden eventually be so mad at me to the point where he leaves me and tries to take Junior?
All of these negative thoughts are running through my head and all the overthinking always ruins everything for me. I just wish the voices would stop.
I’m pretty sure it’s because I have no one to talk to about all this.
I need to talk to Patience now that I’m back home.
“You had a good reason, Jaclyn. You needed time and you needed to heal on your own. If Hayden doesn’t understand or accept that, then he isn’t who I thought he was. You deserve someone who would wait a lifetime for you.”
“I know, it’s just-”
“You and your stupid mind.” Brandon raises an eyebrow at me.
I chuckle. “My mind isn’t always stupid. It comes up with great stories.”
“My stories are better. Even Junior thinks so.”
I roll my eyes. “Junior will tell anyone anything to get what he wants.”
“True.”