Chapter 45
Forty-Five
Hayden
Present
I’ve met millions of celebrities.
I’ve been in more than hundreds of fights in my life.
I even met my biological brother and grew a relationship with him.
But I’ve never been as nervous as I am right now.
Jaclyn told me she wanted to do this at her apartment.
She asked me what I wanted to do today with Junior. I first asked her what kind of stuff he likes and she told me he likes going to the aquarium a lot in Brooklyn.
So we’re all going to be going to the aquarium as a family.
Like we should have been all along.
I got in from Italy about five hours ago. I couldn’t sleep the entire flight because I was nervous as well for today.
Right when I got to my penthouse, I worked out and then took an hour nap before heading over to Jaclyn’s apartment.
We both live in Manhattan, probably a twenty to thirty minute walk yet I’ve never seen her around. I still find it crazy how she was right under my nose, she could probably see my penthouse from her apartment but we haven’t run into one another since the fight.
Yesterday, I was busy doing some stuff with Rowan and Killian. I wanted to come to New York with Jaclyn but Killian and Rowan said I should give her some time with Junior before tagging along.
But since Jaclyn told me everything about that night, I’ve been overthinking non-stop. I feel like shit knowing I’m the one who blamed everything on her when in reality, what she went through was something she couldn’t control. Her mind wasn’t in the right place and she couldn’t see me after everything that happened.
We both still need to talk about a lot of things, for one, the pills she’s been taking, why she’s barely eating, because I notice she isn’t, and then her mental health overall. But one thing at a time.
When she’s ready, she’ll tell me.
I knock on the door, hearing laughing from a familiar voice and then a little boy, coming from the other side of the door. The laughing stops and a few seconds later, the door swings open.
Jaclyn is wearing dark blue cotton shorts and a white tank top. My hands start to feel clammy instantly.
After not seeing her for two days, my mind feels calm suddenly. Another thing I’ve been worrying about since she told me about that night, was if she is in any danger.
I feel like I should be with her at all times to make sure she’s protected and safe.
I just want to make sure she comes back to me this time.
That’s why I hired a personal guard and driver for her because there's no way in hell I’m ever leaving her alone again, not making that mistake again. If I’m not there, I sure as hell am having someone with her, someone that I trust.
We haven’t really talked about that yet but it will be happening, especially now that I’m more involved in Killian’s world.
Jaclyn gives me a nervous smile. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I say before licking my bottom lip.
“Are you ready?”
“I’m scared,” I admit.
Jaclyn steps out of her apartment and closes the door softly. She puts her hands behind her back and her chest rises and falls with every breath she takes.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” she assures me. “Junior is an amazing kid and he’s going to love you. If anything, he’ll just need time with you.”
Jaclyn did show me a bunch of videos and photos of Junior because I was curious about him and what he’s like. Jaclyn told me everything there was to know.
It made me even more excited to see and meet him.
I nod my head. “How are you feeling?”
Jaclyn shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.” I narrow my eyes at her.
Does she really think her feelings don’t matter or something?
“No. I’m going to ask again.” I take a step closer to her. “How are you feeling?” I hold her face in my hands to make her look up at me.
Jaclyn takes my hands off her face and steps back. “I’m fine. Junior’s waiting,” Jaclyn says before opening the door and holding it open for me. I continue to worry even as I walk in and see a boy, who looks so similar to me, jumping up and down on the couch while laughing. “Junior, what did I say about jumping on the couch?” Jaclyn says, walking past me and towards the couch.
Junior looks at his mom with a guilty look on his face.
I put my hands in my pockets, not wanting him to see how my hands are sweaty.
God, I’m fucking nervous.
I feel my eye twitching and my stomach clenching. My heart is beating against my chest hard and fast and I feel like it’s going to burst.
“Who’s that, mama?” Jaclyn helps Junior off the couch and she grabs his hand as she walks towards me.
Jaclyn looks at my hands in my pockets, glaring at them making me take them out. She looks at me and mouths, “You okay?”
I nod my head before kneeling in front of Junior to be at the same height as him.
Junior looks at me skeptically. “Is he a stranger?” Junior asks, moving closer to Jaclyn.
“No baby, he’s safe.” Jaclyn kneels with me and she looks at Junior. “Baby, you know how everyone has a mama and a papa?”
Junior nods his head. “Sometimes people have two mamas and two papas.”
Jaclyn nods her head. “Yes, that's right. But everyone has two parents. Sometimes it’s two mamas and sometimes it’s two papas. Most of the time it’s a mama and a papa.”
Junior nods his head before looking at me. “Well, I just have you and Brandon.”
Brandon?
My eyebrow raises and I look at Jaclyn. Her body tenses but she doesn’t look at me.
Who the fuck is Brandon and why is he spending time with my family and why did Jaclyn not mention this to me?
“Yes baby but you also have a papa.”
“Where is he?” Junior furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head a little bit.
Jaclyn looks at me.
I clear my throat, my nerves starting to sky rocket and my anxiety going crazy. “Well, I’m your dad.”
Junior shakes his head. “No you're not. If you were my papa then where have you been?”
I look at Jaclyn this time while Junior stares at me with confusion.
“Well, your papa, he didn’t know how amazing you were until recently. He’s been wanting to meet you for a while.”
Junior looks at his mom with a smile. “Really?” Jaclyn nods with a smile. “So you want to be my papa?” Junior asks me.
I give him a small smile. “I do. I am your papa, but I want to be in your life.”
“Are you and my mama married?”
Not yet but I’ll get there, just be patient.
“No. But I want to be a part of your guys’ life. You and your mom.”
“How did you guys have me if you aren’t married then?” Junior asks, looking at his mom this time.
“Well baby, things happen a certain way and we just had you. But the point being is your papa wants to start seeing you and he wants to have a relationship with you.”
“So I have someone new to play with?” Junior questions and Jaclyn nods her head.
“Yea. I would love to hangout with you and get to know you better if that's okay?” I raise my eyebrow at him. “I was thinking that maybe we could all go to the aquarium today? Your mom said that you like going there, right?”
Junior nods his head and smiles widely. “Do I call you papa?”
I look at Jaclyn and she gives me a small smile and nods, making sure I know that I’m doing alright.
“I mean, I would love for you to call me papa but I know that’s probably weird, especially since you just met me right?” Junior nods his head. “So you can call me Hay or Hayden.”
Junior's face brightens. “My name is Hayden too!”
“I know, it’s a pretty cool name, isn’t it?” I say, not able to contain my smile.
Junior nods before looking at his mom. “I like him.”
Jaclyn smiles at him, a genuine smile that I feel like I haven’t seen in a while. Last time she smiled like that was in college when she was genuinely happy.
“So you ready to go to the aquarium?” I ask Junior and he nods his head excitedly.
Junior looks so much like me there is no doubting that he’s my son.
I can’t believe I have a fucking son.