Chapter 15
Julian
When Rico messaged to say that the team was heading back to the station, I knew I couldn’t stay with Romeo much longer, no matter how much I wanted to wrap him in my arms and watch over him while he slept.
First and foremost, I have a duty to the One-Thirteen.
But I’m also aware that I don’t want to smother Romeo with my anxious hovering.
It already took so much for him to open up like he did at the wedding and allow himself to be vulnerable. If I push him too hard now, he might close off completely in an attempt to try and protect his heart.
But there’s no arguing with facts. If he’s going to get through this crisis, he’s going to have to accept some help. That’s all I’m asking him to do.
He might have had a burst of confidence yesterday morning and wanted to commit to something between us.
But his world has been turned upside down, and not for the first time in his life.
I’m glad I pumped the brakes, because we’re both scrambling just to stay above water, and we’re going to need time and space to do that.
So getting my ass back to work is a good idea. However, as the Uber pulls up outside the station, I suddenly have an inkling of what I might be walking into.
Mostly because the entire first watch is standing at the bay doors waiting for me. Even Rocky is sitting by Lochlan’s feet, wagging his tail as I step out of the cab.
“Thanks, man,” I say absently to the driver before closing the door. I make sure I give him a rating and a tip, but my main attention is focused on the several people watching my every move as I approach.
Lili wiggles her fingers at me in a wave while smirking. Rico looks like he’s there to make sure nothing gets too out of hand. Christ, even Lucy is here, wearing an expression like she’s going to wag her finger at me and tell me I’ve got some ’splainin’ to do.
“Don’t you people have jobs you should be doing?” I grumble as I march past them, intending to go to my office.
“Oh, come on, Cap!” Yara cries excitedly.
“I think you mean Captain Daddy,” Sawyer corrects her smugly. Lucky for me, Yara doesn’t seem to understand what he’s saying and continues gushing at me.
“They told us they met your guy from the wedding and that he was really nice and you’re being super cute and giving him a place to stay!” Her excitement turns briefly to a pout as she glances at Del. “We miss all the fun.”
“There was no fun,” I insist with raised eyebrows.
I turn and hold up my hands to stop the small crowd from becoming raucous.
“Yes, the guy I met at the wedding happened to live at the apartment building with the gas explosion. Which is an insane coincidence. But that also means he temporarily doesn’t have a home. I’m simply doing what’s right.”
“Come on, Cap,” Lochlan huffs skeptically. “We all saw it. This isn’t just about being noble. You wouldn’t have done that for anyone else there this morning.”
“Well, no,” I agree with a frown. “Because I don’t know them. And I’d hope they have loved ones who can help them out. Romeo doesn’t. At least, not right now with his sister on her honeymoon.”
“Wait, his name is Romeo?” Yara splutters in disbelief. “This is amazing.”
Lili waves at her to be quiet. “You’re missing the point, babe.”
“Which is?” I ask as patiently as I can.
“The way you two looked at each other,” Lucy chimes in. Her expression is far too smug for my liking. “We all saw it.”
Accepting that I’m not getting out of this lightly, I sigh and trudge over to the coffee machine. I’m going to need more caffeine or I’ll fire them all.
Even Lucy.
“And how did we look at each other?” I ask.
“Like there was no one else in the whole world,” Teddy says softly.
I pause with my hands resting on either side of the coffee machine. Sneaking a peek, I see my team looking at me with a palpable sense of hope and excitement.
“Oh, come on, guys,” I scoff. “We literally just met.”
“We’re only saying it how we see it, Cap,” Anton says with a rueful smile. “This isn’t just some hook-up, is it?”
“You guys are smitten!” Sawyer cries, like it’s some sort of gotcha.
Del shrugs and shoos me out of the kitchen so he can take over the coffee duty. “It was pretty obvious, Captain. Congratulations.”
Feeling helpless, I just stand there, arms limp by my side as my gaze hops between their faces where they’re sitting or standing around in anticipation. They all look so…happy.
“It’s not that simple,” I protest.
“Why not?” Lucy asks, then waves me down before I can respond. “No, I mean seriously. Why not? You’re both adults, and unless we were all hallucinating the same thing, I think it’s safe to say that you’re both crazy about each other. Right, guys?”
The team all nod and smile and murmur agreements. Even Rocky barks and runs over to headbutt my thigh.
“What’s the pain point, Cap?” Gene asks. I realize he’s in his chair and probably has been since I arrived. But that doesn’t seem to have stopped him from keeping up with the conversation, even though he’s still not looking up from his newspaper.
I shrug, but Del pushes a mug of coffee into my hands, and I don’t feel quite so splayed open anymore with something to hold.
“He’s been so betrayed by his parents,” I tell them sadly, keeping my eyes on my drink so their reactions don’t make the words die in my throat.
“And I haven’t exactly been in a great place after losing my dad.
I don’t know if either of us is ready for a relationship, and the last thing I’d want to do is hurt him. ”
“You could just fuck,” Sawyer suggests helpfully.
Anton smacks his chest with the back of his hand. “Or,” he challenges, “you could try going on a few dates and see where that leads you.”
“While he’s temporarily homeless and is relying on me for shelter?” I counter with a raised eyebrow.
“Okay, yeah,” Anton agrees with a rueful laugh. “There’s a bit of a power imbalance right now. Would you really abuse it?”
“Absolutely not!” I splutter.
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Yara says, looking offended on my behalf.
“That’s what I mean, though,” Anton says. “Is this really a problem or are you just looking for an excuse not to take a chance?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “I can replace any one of you at a moment’s notice, remember? I have Drayton Hendrix on speed dial.”
Lili scoffs. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”
“Today,” Lochlan clarifies with a grin.
“My point is,” Anton continues with determination, “that if you wait for the perfect circumstances, you might miss your chance altogether. Would you regret it if you never even tried to see if there’s something genuine between you guys?”
Rather than answer him, I simply scowl.
“I think the more pressing question,” Lili says, “is whether or not you can both keep your hands off each other when you’re basically living under the same roof. I’m not even going to take bets on ‘no.’ I’m putting fifty in on less than a day.”
“Starting when?” Sawyer asks excitedly, reaching for his wallet.
“Tomorrow morning after shift seems fair,” Lochlan answers thoughtfully, scratching between Rocky’s ears.
“You’re all unbelievable,” I grumble. But Lucy comes and leans against the counter next to me, bumping our shoulders. And Del and Yara crowd around us with their coffees rather than join in Lili’s slightly frenzied betting pool.
“Julian,” Lucy says in her no-nonsense voice. “You and I both know you’d never take advantage of this young man. And you know your own mind. What have you got to lose?”
“Him,” I tell her bluntly. “I was so certain that in a few months’ time, I’d have my head screwed on better and we might be able to give this real shot. What if we give into temptation just because of proximity and it’s the wrong time.”
“Okay, fair,” she concedes. “What’s the worst-case scenario?”
“I hurt him,” I say, my blood running cold at the thought.
Lucy flicks an eyebrow at me. “How could you hurt him?”
“By breaking his heart.”
She huffs and looks to my paramedics for support. “I think,” Del says delicately, “Captain Padilla is suggesting that you wouldn’t hurt this young man on purpose. You wouldn’t treat him badly or cheat on him.”
“Absolutely not,” I snap. But then I immediately deflate. “What if I hurt him because I’m just not enough? Because I’m too broken right now.”
Infuriatingly, Lucy shrugs. “If you’re into each other as much as it looked like, you’ll talk it through like adults. Dude. No relationship is bulletproof. Every single person on the planet makes a choice to enter into one knowing it could end badly.”
“Life doesn’t have any guarantees,” Yara reminds me, unusually somber.
I wince internally. It might have been several years ago, so she’s had longer to grieve than me.
However, she also lost her parents, suddenly and violently in a car crash.
No one should compare their suffering like it’s a competition, but I had a lifetime with my folks.
What she and her younger brother went through doesn’t bear thinking about.
Her observation does give me a figurative kick up the ass, though. Life is short. As frightened as I am of causing Romeo more harm when he’s already been through enough, I do appreciate that I’d regret it if I let him slip through my fingers.
Having him live with me might have just changed our timeline irreparably. And seeing as I’m not going to kick him out, there might not be any going backward.
Now or never has become a lot more now shaped.
“He is young, though,” I say sheepishly, casting around for any last objections to make sure I’ve gone through them all. But people have commented on our age gap already, and it’s bigger than anyone I’ve been with before, by several years. “I’m not sure he’s even thirty yet.”
Lucy shakes her head. “You might be older but you’re not old,” she insists. “And you’re in fantastic shape.”
“He’s older than me,” Yara adds. “I wouldn’t see a problem dating someone in their forties if we had a connection.” Then she shimmies in excitement. “Besides, with all his youthful vigor, I bet that just meant the sex was phenomenal.”
Lucy chokes on her coffee and Del sighs, knowing precisely what his partner is like after the last few years spent working side by side.
“Everyone is definitely fired,” I gripe, glancing down as I swirl my coffee. But then I look back up to see the rest of the team still peeking over at me. “None of you honestly see any issue with me pursuing this if he’s interested?”
“Oh, he’s interested all right,” Sawyer scoffs.
“I think we’d have more of an issue if you didn’t give it a chance, Cap,” Anton says more seriously. “You deserve some happiness.”
“Yeah, Cap,” Lochlan chimes in with a thoughtful frown. “You look after everybody. You’re so selfless. But you should look after yourself, too. We’d love that.”
“I’m sure your parents would, too,” Yara adds quietly.
I match her gaze for a moment, and she nods.
“I still tell my brother that all the time. It’s okay to be happy even though they’re not here with us anymore.
They wouldn’t want us to miss out on anything wonderful.
They’d want us to have the most amazing lives we can.
Don’t you think your mom and dad would agree? ”
I nod and clear my throat. A thought flashes through my mind. I might be unsure if I should try being with Romeo. However, I know for a fact that I’m sad I’ll never be able to introduce him to my parents.
Doesn’t that tell me something?
Puffing out my cheeks, I cast my eyes over the One-Thirteen, settling on Lucy. As if I’m making her take responsibility if this all goes to hell.
“Fine,” I say a little too loudly, but that’s probably just what makes them grin harder. “I will open myself up to the possibility, all right? Romeo still has a choice in the matter as well.”
“Good for you, Captain,” Del says, clapping my shoulder.
“Anyone want to amend their bet?” Lili asks slyly.
Mercifully, the tones sound, summoning us to another call. But as we hastily throw ourselves back on the rigs and Lucy and Rocky see us off, I can’t help but have a private little moment of giddiness.
Is there really a chance Romeo and I could be something?
I guess I’ll find out soon enough.