Chapter 18 Noah
Noah
Well, that’s it. I’ve hit the trifecta.
I’m broke, bruised, and broken-hearted.
I haven’t been this down bad since I was six and peed my pants at soccer practice in front of Julie Sanders.
“That’s it. You’re done.” Cadence, the usually chill bartender at my favorite dive bar, says as he tosses me out on my ass.
I wince as the rough gravel pinches at my leg. “Aw, come on, Cade. You know I’m good for it.”
“The thing is, I don’t.” He crosses his arms against his big chest. “This is your third time you haven’t been able to pay your bill.”
I let out a heavy sigh. I know he’s right. Ever since I lost my job as a lifeguard at The Cove, money has gotten tight. Really tight. Doesn’t help that I keep blowing what little I have on drinks — the only thing that numbs the emptiness inside of me.
The emptiness he left.
“Why don’t you just give me a job, huh?” I chuckle, only half joking.
“Can’t.” He shakes his head, holding the door open for a group walking inside.
“Why not?” I ask, offering the passersby an awkward wave from the ground as I push my hair out of my face. I’m overdue for a haircut, but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to get it done.
“Because, I only work with people I trust.” He huffs out a laugh. “I’ve got an idea. “Why don’t you go home?” He winks at me before walking inside, leaving me there, alone.
The bar’s outside lights flicker dimly above me, the only thing keeping me from complete darkness.
I scoff to myself, lowering my head. “Home.”
If only he knew I had no home to return to.
Between the flat I share with Ian, my roommate who clearly regrets every choice that led to us cohabiting, and my mom’s house, where she’s shacked up with her.
.. boyfriend? Fiancé? Who the hell knows what phase of delusion they’re in now, either way, both living situations are a steaming pile of shit.
So, no. I don’t have a home. I have… Hāna, Hawaii, and about— I open my wallet, dodging the flies that spill out—thirteen dollars.
All I need is to get myself together, and I’m sure I can make this work.
***
Two weeks.
Turns out, when you have little to no cash left, and you’re in a town full of locals where no one is looking to hire, and you don’t have any extra cash to start over somewhere else, you don’t get too far.
“Noah, wake up.” Ian kicks at me. I jolt awake, feeling like I’m about to fall off a cliff.
When I open my eyes, I realize I really was about to roll off the couch.
Must’ve fallen asleep out here in the living room.
My stomach settles down as I fix my eyes on my annoyed roommate.
Standing over me, he waves his phone in the air.
“Dude, what?” I squint up at him as my eyes adjust.
“Call. Now,” he says, extending the phone in front of my face.
I furrow my brow. “Call who?”
“I don’t know, dude. Your mom, your dad, your friends?” He shrugs. “You don’t have any money, and I’ve gotta come up with rent quick. I have a buddy who’s able to move in with the cash, which means you’ve gotta go.” He rushes out. I see exhaustion and regret washing over him the second he finishes.
He rustles his hand through his short black hair, making my stomach curl into itself. It reminds me a little too much of what he used to do…
It’s been over a year, and the memory of him still stings. Nothing’s worse than missing someone who’s just a phone call away. But, I can’t. No calling him. Not when he has a whole family to tend to. I’m not messing that up.
Ian picks up the phone in his hand and stares at it for a moment. “I hate to do this. I really do love living with you. This suuucks.”
I nod my head, understanding what he means.
Ian is a good dude. When I got to Hawaii, I saw his notice on a billboard looking for a roommate.
He was into music, movies, and staying up too late, so it seemed like fate at the time.
But it all went to shit after I lost my income a few months back.
I couldn’t pay as quickly as I would’ve liked to, and he had to front for me a lot of the time.
As good a dude as he is, anyone would get fed up after a while.
The reality of my situation settles in. This isn’t working. My plan, or lack thereof, is imploding, and frankly, I lasted way longer out here than I would’ve thought I was going to. And, as much as I really wanted it to, I don’t have it in me to keep pushing.
It’s hard being out here on my own, especially when I feel like a shell of myself.
“Where am I supposed to go?” I sigh, sitting up. I know the answer even before he says it.
“Where were you before this?” He sighs, sitting down beside me.
If I have a sliver of intelligence left, I’d call my mom. The only person I do still have. Even if she’s the last person on earth I want to see.
Well…maybe not the last.
But, definitely not the first.
I groan, rubbing my hands down my face.
I’ve gotten myself into this mess, and I desperately need to get out of it. But what happens if getting out of one situation leads me right back into another?
Because seeing my stepfather’s face again…
Feeling his presence around me…
I’m not sure how I’ll react to that.
And that fact both terrifies me and makes my decision a little easier.
I don’t want to go back. But I think I need to.
Even if it ruins me all over again.
I look at Ian and nod. “Hand me the phone.”