Chapter 39 #2
Jayden spins the drink in front of him. Brows pulled taut over his eyes as he tells me, “You should be mad at me. You should hate me.”
“Why, JJ?”
“Because.” He levels me with a bemused frown. “Because Finley’s your girl, and—”
“She wants you.” Jayden swallows at my statement. We both know it’s as true as the fact that “You want her, too.”
“And you should hate me for that. I’m meant to be your best friend.”
“Jayden, you are my best friend.”
“How can you be so cool about...” Looking over his shoulder at the spot where he, Finley, and I were standing moments ago, he finishes his question with a shrug.
“Because you are the best person I know. I trust you, JJ. I think more than I trust myself with Finley.”
“Why, Eli?”
“You’ve never let me down. No matter what, you show up when it counts for me, and I know you’ll do the same for her. When you’re around her, I can feel the happiness you bring her. That’s all I want for her. After everything she’s been through, Finley deserves to be happy.”
“You make her happy, too.”
“Not the way you do.”
“Happy is happy, Eli.”
“What if she can’t be happy without you? Finley said she doesn’t want to pick between us, and—”
“Wait, you’ve discussed this with her?” The look of shock he spears me with makes it hard to reply. “The two of you talked about bringing me into your relationship? Do you even know what that means?”
Shaking my head down at the granite counter, I clasp my hands around my drink. “I don’t know that Finley and I have a relationship right now. There’s so much for me to work through, and although I can’t let her go, I know that I can’t give her everything she needs.”
“But I can?” He scoffs, pushing to his feet as though he’s going to walk out of here. “So you work through your shit, and then what? Where does that leave me? Our friendship? You and Finley? Me and Finley? Where does that leave us all?”
“I don’t know.” And now that we’re discussing whatever this is between the three of us, it feels more and more ludicrous. But the simple notion of it excites me. Like it’s breathing new air into my lungs. Like... There's hope on the horizon. Something big and worth fighting for.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Eli, and I certainly don’t want to be a third wheel in yours and Finley’s romance.”
“She has feelings for you, and you reciprocate them. Don’t you?”
His hands grip the edge of the counter as he braces himself over it. It’s a beat too long before he looks up at me and answers with a hoarse, “Yes.”
“We both love her,” I say, taking in the way his jaw clenches in a wordless admission. Jayden may not be ready to admit that he’s in love with Finley, but I can see it in the way he cares for her and feel it in how he softens every time she needs affection. “We both want her to be happy.”
“Do you honestly think it’s that simple? With all the rumors already going around about me and her? About us?” I shrug, and he asks, “How does any of it help you work through things?”
“It’s not simple, Jayden, and I don’t know how it will help me figure shit out. But I know that it’s better than what we’re doing now. Every time you get too close, you pull away, and Finley gets hurt. It makes things awkward between us, and I hate it.”
“Me, too,” he admits with a sigh. “So how does this work, Eli? What are the rules?”
“I don’t know, JJ. Can’t we figure it out together?”
“What happens when I kiss Finley?” The cock of his brow is challenging.
It takes me a second of waiting to feel jealous or angry for me to realize that, like before when I imagined it, the thought has my insides knotting tight with anticipation.
“How will you feel when I touch her?”
“How do you feel when I touch her? When I kiss her?” A deep flush erupts on his cheeks, all the way to the tips of his ears, as his breathing shallows.
It's one of the few times I can be certain that we feel the same way. “I like watching you with Finley, JJ. When you touch her, there’s this thrill inside me, and just the mention of you kissing her excites me.”
“Me, too.” He whispers as Finley comes back into the living area with a beaming smile stamped on her face.
It takes seconds for her to settle beside Jayden. She’s so at ease when he touches his hand to the small of her back.
“So, did you guys decide on dinner?” She asks, glancing between the two of us.
“No,” Jayden says as I tell her, “We didn’t get to it.”
“Summer and I were on the phone for ages...”
“We had to talk,” Jayden retorts. His voice is deep and gravelly.
“About what?” The smile on Fin’s face falters as she stands taller, waiting for us to answer.
“Us,” I reply at the same time as Jayden.
“Oh.” Finley sucks in a deep breath before she tells me, “I’m not picking.”
“You don’t have to,” Jayden says.
“I can’t. I’ll never be able to, and—”
“That’s okay,” I assure her, even though it only makes her look at me more quizzically. I might be sprouting another head, judging by the way her eyes are bugging.
Jayden spins her towards him, his hands anchoring on her waist when he tells her, “We’ll see where this goes and figure it out.”
“I don’t want to come between the two of you.” The soft expression she levels him with speaks beyond her remark as he draws her flush to him.
“I think it’s where you belong, Fin,” he murmurs into her hair before planting a kiss on her forehead.
I swear his lips have found the perfect spot. Like a home. And it’s got every part of me buzzing.
My feet carry me to them. Nothing makes more sense. Nothing has ever felt this real or as perfect as the moment I grip Finley’s hips and Jayden spins her toward me. He’s still peppering kisses on the top of her head when she beams at me.
I’ve never wanted anything the way that I want her. Right now. With him.
Without a second of thought, I press my lips to her forehead.
My stare connects with Jayden’s—his pupils are blown wide, making his stare darker than I’ve ever known it as he glances down at where my lips are touching Finley’s warm skin. Where his lips were moments ago.
Finley’s groan pulls me closer, flush to her. My body to her body to his body. I can’t breathe past the unrelenting thrum in my chest, throbbing up into my throat when I kiss that spot again. Her hands anchor on my hips, clawing into my flesh above the low-slung band of my shorts.
I want more.
I need more.
As I adjust myself, trying to angle back my hips so she can’t feel how badly I want and I need, her nails bite deeper. That sharp, unexpected lance of pain sparks through me, deep into my core, tightening my grip on her waist with the hot ripple of goosebumps all over my skin.
Fuck, I silently groan, breathing out the overwhelming shock of pleasure over her face. When my stare meets Jayden’s again, I find him watching me. Watching us.
His shoulders bob with the erratic rise and fall of his chest. The heat of his shallow breaths blusters across Finley’s hair, filling my lungs with the fruity scent of her shampoo, spiced with a hint of licorice from the gum he chews.
I’m totally swept up in them as my hands trace over the side of her body, pausing for a beat when my fingertips graze Jayden’s. His sudden gasp brings my eyes back to his while I continue my trail to Finley’s face. She’s trembling all over. Something that adds to the excitement of the moment.
The enormity of it.
Christ, she’s so supple. So warm. So needy.
There’s an urgency to the way her hands flatten to my back, roaming upwards at the same time as I grip her face in both hands and tilt it to mine.
The yearning for more overtakes every other sense and all the reasoning in me when her knees buckle at the stroke of my thumb across the wet seam of her lips.
She feels so damn beautiful, so perfect in my hands that it hollows out my stomach some more, leaving me hungry… fucking starved.
The tip of my nose touches hers at the same time as Jayden peppers kisses across her forehead. With every breath, I lean closer, my eyes darting up to Jayden’s lips. And then, her half-lidded eyes flutter open on mine as my lips find hers and I lick into her mouth.
I’m so desperate to taste her. To touch Finley and be closer to her… to Jayden…
His fingers interlace with mine on her waist, and all I can do is claw deeper into her skin. And with each circle of my tongue with hers, my grip grows tighter. Needing more of this. Of them.
Until the world disappears.
My fears dissipate.
The insidious whisper of my nightmare is silent.
It’s just me, Finley, and Jayden, and nothing has ever felt so perfect. So right. So meant to be.