Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
K ate
My mother scoops up my clothes out of my suitcase and starts to walk out of the living room before I can stop her. “Mom! I don’t need you to wash my clothes. I just stopped by on my way to my apartment because I wanted to see you guys.”
Michelle Abbott could never be confused with a mother who doesn’t care. Too often, she cares too much, in my opinion. I’m a twenty-four year old woman who can do her own laundry, but to my mother, I’ll always be her baby.
“It’s no problem, honey. Sit with your sister and I’ll be right back. Don’t go into any detail about your trip before I return from the laundry room, okay?”
My sister Kelly gives me a disapproving look and then laughs. “Must be nice being the baby. I’ve been here for weeks since Jason and I broke up, and never once has she offered to do my clothes.”
She caught her husband cheating on her with the maid who was supposed to come in once a week and clean up after them. Somehow, they fell into bed that day nearly a month ago, and since then, Kelly has been staying back here at our childhood home while she gets her divorce started. Jason is about to learn the exact meaning of hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, poor fool.
“I don’t want her to clean my clothes, you know. She’s the one who’s into that. I was just going to go home and throw everything into the wash, colors and whites all together.”
My sister’s eyes get wide, and then she throws her head back in laughter. “Don’t tell Mom that, or she’ll stroke out right here in front of us. Colors and whites in the same load? Oh, heavens no!”
I look around for any sign of my mother and lean in toward my sister to whisper, “I do that all the time. It’s never turned anything pink or any other color.”
Kelly smiles. “Me too.”
“We better not let her find out, or she’ll think she was a failure as a mother,” I joke.
“Seriously. But forget the laundry. Tell me all about Europe. Did you and Jessie have a good time? I want to hear everything. I’m living vicariously through you, so don’t leave out the tiniest detail.”
“It was incredible! We had so much fun. My favorite part was France. Oh, you should have seen us. We saw the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre. We ate at this adorable outdoor café, and these two gorgeous guys came up to us and sat down at our table. Thank God I remembered some French from high school, or we wouldn’t have been able to talk to one another at all. People say the French don’t like Americans, but that’s not true. All they wanted to talk about was American sports, especially baseball and basketball. I let Jessie handle that part of the conversation, but since she doesn’t know much French, things got rocky fast.”
As I finish, my sister’s expression grows dark. “Speaking of baseball, did you hear about what happened with Ronan King?”
Why she uses his last name I don’t understand since I’ve only known a single Ronan in my entire life. “What? We talked once a week the whole time I was gone. If something happened, why didn’t you tell me?”
With sadness in her eyes, she explains, “I didn’t want to ruin your trip. You waited two years for Jessie to be able to go.”
Scared about what I’m going to hear but needing to know, I ask, “What happened to him?”
Kelly grimaces, and quietly says, “He was in a car accident on New Year’s Eve. Seems some drunk lost control of his car and hit his. The car rolled a bunch of times, and he was trapped, pinned between the steering wheel and the seat until the ambulance got there. The drunk walked away from the mess he caused, but Ronan wasn’t so lucky. Both his legs were broken, but even worse, he lost his right hand.”
I can barely hold back the tears as I listen to all he went through. “Thank God he survived, but he lost his hand? I heard he got a position with a minor league team. What about that now?”
My sister shakes her head. “He can’t play baseball anymore, Kate. That part of his life is over.”
Hearing that makes my heart ache for Ronan. All he ever wanted was to play baseball in the major leagues. Oh, God. He must be devastated.
“Have you heard anything about how he’s doing?”
Kelly’s frown deepens. “It’s not good. I heard his brother Matthias and his wife brought him to the family house because…”
She doesn’t finish her sentence, but I have to know what happened. “Because of what? Is it that he can’t walk?”
“No, his legs are fine. He’s living there because they need to keep an eye on him.”
That makes no sense. I know Ronan got a place in Rome when his father died, and I think he had his own apartment in Manhattan.
“Why? He’s a grown man. Those brothers of his were always treating him like a child, even when he wasn’t.”
They always were unable to see he didn’t want to be babied. I know he hated that.
Kelly reaches out and touches my arm. “No, it’s nothing like that. They’re having him stay there because he tried to kill himself.”
I lower my head as tears begin to roll down my cheeks. “Oh, no. He must be so sad because of what happened. He always dreamed of being a ball player, and now that dream is gone.”
My mother walks into the room, so I quickly dry my eyes before looking up at her. “You know, you don’t have to do my clothes, Mom. I can do them at my place.”
“No, you can’t, and what’s wrong? Did something happen on your trip? Did some man try something he shouldn’t have? When your father hears, he’s going to tell me he was right about not wanting you to go on that trip all along.”
I let out a heavy sigh and say, “No, nothing happened on the trip. Kelly was just telling me about what happened with Ronan. I wish one of you had told me before this.”
“We didn’t want to ruin the trip for you,” she says sadly. “I always liked Ronan. He’s had so much sadness in his life with losing his mother so young and then losing his father and brother before he graduated from college. That poor boy has had a lifetime’s worth of misery. It doesn’t seem fair that life should give him even more to deal with.”
She and my sister talk about the accident, but all I can think of is I should go visit him. We broke up when the two of us were in college, but whatever hard feelings I had then are nothing compared to what he must be going through now.
I stand up and announce, “I’m going to the King estate to see him. I feel terrible that I didn’t know until now, and he might think I heard and didn’t even care enough to call him.”
“Are you sure, honey? You two ended things pretty badly,” my mother says. “I remember when you broke up. You were devastated and nearly failed out of school that semester.”
Leave it to my mother to make this even worse than it already is.
“I didn’t nearly fail out of school, Mom. Yes, I was upset, but that was a long time ago. I don’t blame him for what happened to us anymore.”
“I just worry about this idea. You loved him, Kate. I’m not sure those feelings ever went away for you, and he likely can’t reciprocate even if he wants to now.”
She’s trying to help, but I can’t think like that. Ronan was my first love. He was my first everything. I can’t bear the thought of him struggling in life and not even try to see him to make sure he’s okay. Whatever happened between us is water under the bridge.
“I’ll be fine, Mom. Maybe seeing me will remind him of the good times we had together. I just want to let him know I’m here as a friend. I’d want that if I was going through tough times.”
Before my sister or mother try any more to talk me out of going to see him, I grab my purse and hurry upstairs to my old room. I don’t want to rehash the day I broke up with Ronan, but I can’t stop the memories as they come flooding back.
Just like then, they take my breath away.
Ronan walks through the door of Beanz, our favorite coffee shop, the place where we had our first date almost two years ago to the day. The last time I saw him was during the holidays. We promised one another that we’d make sure to spend our spring break together since both his university and mine have the same week off.
He smiles when he sees me, and even though we’ve dated for years, my heart still does a little flutter when I first lay eyes on him. It’s been like that ever since that first day he walked up to me in high school and asked me out in spring of our junior year. We’ve been inseparable from that moment, except for the past six months after he chose to go out of state for school and I stayed home for college.
I watch as he walks over to the table where we had our first date. We’ve always joked this is our table, like no one else has ever had anything as wonderful happen as we did that first night. He looks as handsome as he did then. Maybe a little bigger since he’s been playing ball even more while he’s been away at school. He’s still the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever known, though.
“Hey, I should have known you’d pick this table if you could get it,” he says with a smile, but I sense something different about him.
“Of course. It’s almost our second anniversary. I’m just glad we both have spring break at the same time.”
Ronan sits down and looks around the coffee shop before staring up at the board with all of today’s coffee and snack choices written in chalk. “I haven’t had a latte since I went away. I could go for one, though. What did you get?”
I lift up my cup and smile. “Same as always. Latte with a pump of caramel with whipped cream on top.”
He turns to look at my coffee and shakes his head. “Same old Kate with her dessert in a cup. Want anything while I’m up there?”
“No, I’m good. I went out to dinner with my parents before I came here, so I’m pretty stuffed.”
With a chuckle, he points at my drink. “Except for that, right?”
“There’s always room for coffee. You know that.”
He nods and then walks up to the counter as I watch his every move. I’ve never been able to be around Ronan King without admiring him. I’d never dreamed he’d ever want to go out with me. Even though we attended the same private school, Ronan comes from a much wealthier family than mine. My father is only a plastic surgeon, not a billionaire owner of a multinational company like his father. Even with my mother’s income from her real estate business, we don’t come anywhere close to the level of the Kings. Every girl in school wanted to be with him, but he chose me that April afternoon when he stopped at my locker to ask me out.
We were together day and night from that moment on until we went to different schools last fall, but we’ve talked every day, so it hasn’t been too bad. I’ve missed him so much and can’t wait to spend this week together like we have planned. My friends may all be thrilled to hang out on the beach in Fort Lauderdale for the next seven days, but I wouldn’t give up my time with Ronan for anything.
Not even a week full of sun and fun.
Lost in thought, I don’t see him come back until he taps on the table in front of me. I look up and see him staring at me, likely because he said something and I didn’t hear him.
“What do you think about going for a walk? It’s not too chilly out tonight.”
I stand up and grab my bag off the back of the chair before taking my cup with me. “Sure!”
It’s just like our first date when after we sat and talked for an hour or so he suggested we go for a walk. That’s when we kissed for the first time on the path that leads through the park. He’s so romantic to remember that.
As we walk toward the park, we talk about school and how he made the baseball team at his university. I tell him about my classes and how I think I’ll make the Dean’s List for the second semester in a row.
“You’ve always been smart, Kate. I knew you’d do well,” he says as he takes my hand.
“I thought college would be so much harder than high school. I feel like going to see Mr. Harvey to tell him all those scary stories of his weren’t the truth. You know the ones he told us about how hard college was going to be if we didn’t study.”
Ronan squeezes my hand and chuckles. “Those stories weren’t for people like you. They were for jocks like me.”
I’ve never been okay with him talking about himself like he’s some stupid athlete who can’t do much else than play ball. Ronan’s always been much smarter than the usual guys who spend all their time on the field.
“You did great last semester, so I’m not hearing anything about you being a stupid jock. I bet you’re going to hit the Dean’s List this semester.”
Underneath one of the new lights the city put up on the pathway last summer sits a bench, so he guides me over to it. “I thought we could talk here,” he says quietly.
He’s acting strange, almost nervous, tonight. Then it dawns on me. Oh my God! Is he planning to propose right here, right now? We talked about getting married someday after I finish college and he’s set up playing ball on a team somewhere. I’d have to relocate since it’s highly unlikely he’ll get to play for a New York team, but I don’t mind. With my teaching degree, I’ll be able to go practically anywhere.
My heart begins to race, so I take a deep breath in as we sit down. I wish I didn’t have so much coffee. That’s probably making me more nervous.
It’s okay, though. This is Ronan with me. My Ronan. There’s no need to be worried or scared.
After taking another sip of my coffee, I turn my body toward him and ask, “So what did you want to talk about?”
My hands are shaking, but I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life. Of course, I’ll say yes. I’ve loved Ronan for what feels like my entire life. I can’t imagine my future without him.
“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” he says, but he’s looking away from me.
“It is. Is something wrong, Ronan? What are you looking at?”
He quickly turns to face me and shrugs. “Nothing. Everything’s okay.” For a moment, he stops and then adds, “Well, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
I can’t keep the smile off my face at hearing that. “I’m all ears. What’s up?” I ask as I look down at my left hand and wiggle my fingers.
An engagement ring is going to look so perfect on me.
“Something happened, Kate.”
His words come out like they’re being dragged from his mouth. I don’t understand. Did something happen with his father or one of his brothers?
“What? What’s wrong? Is it something bad? I hope your family is okay.”
I wait for him to answer, but he doesn’t say anything. He simply lowers his gaze to the ground. What could be going on that’s so terrible he’s acting like this?
Sure it can’t be that bad, I take his hand and give it a gentle, sympathetic squeeze. “Whatever it is, I’m here for you, Ronan. You can tell me. Whatever you need, you can count on me.”
He clears his throat but still doesn’t say anything. I wait to hear what’s troubling him, worried more with each second that passes that he still doesn’t tell me.
I bring his hand to my lips and press a tiny kiss on his knuckles. “It’s okay. If you need some time, we can sit here all night.”
Ronan swallows hard, and I see his Adam’s apple bob up and down. I’ve always loved that, even though I have no idea why. Something about it seems so masculine.
As I think about how even such a minor thing about him makes me smile, he finally speaks, and in a flat voice devoid of any emotion, he quietly says, “I slept with someone, Kate.”
At first, his words don’t register in my mind. I can’t comprehend them, even though they’re only six short syllables.
I slept with someone, Kate.
When I finally realize what he meant, I shake my head. It’s all I can do. I can’t think of anything else to do. There are no words in my head I wish I could say. There’s nothing else my body seems to be able to do but that one motion of shaking my head over and over.
Now he can’t seem to stop talking. He turns his body toward me, and I see worry written all over his face.
“It didn’t mean a thing. I swear. I don’t know how it happened. I was at this party one night right after I got back to school from winter break, and we were all just having a good time. One thing lead to another, and I ended up alone with someone when everyone else passed out.”
He stops, I assume to let me say something about what he just confessed, but I have no words in my head. All I feel is sick, like my entire body aches.
Ronan takes my other hand in his. In his eyes, I see how upset this had made him. “It was just one time. I swear. I’ve felt like shit ever since. I should have told you before this, but I didn’t want to do it over the phone or in a text. Say something. Say anything. Just don’t stay quiet. Tell me I’m a bastard. Tell me it’s going to take me doing something pretty damn incredible to forgive me. I get that. I promise I’m going to do so many wonderful things from now on that you’ll be able to forget this stupid mistake.”
He finally stops talking, but I still don’t know what to say. He cheated on me. He slept with some girl at his school. How could he do that to us?
Then all I want to know is who. Who was this girl he forgot all about me for that night? We’ve spoken every night since winter break, so who was she that made him able to simply forget he loved me?
“What girl, Ronan? What’s her name?”
He winces, as if telling me her name hurts him. “Amanda Isaacson.”
In my mind, I repeat her name as my stomach roils, threatening to make me vomit all over him and me. Amanda Isaacson, the cheerleader from high school who’s always wanted to have Ronan all to herself. She told me those exact words when she heard we’d begun dating.
Amanda Isaacson, the only child of the man who owns half of the island of Manhattan. The one person from high school who comes from a family as wealthy as the Kings.
Beautiful Amanda with the blond hair and the nose job her father got her for her sixteenth birthday and the big fake boobs he got her for graduation.
I tug my hands from his hold and stand up, still not sure what to say. But now that I know who he cheated on me with, words begin to form. If I should say them is another story because all I’ve got is hurt fueling my thoughts.
Ronan looks up at me with those soulful brown eyes I’ve always loved, and in them I see worry but even more, I see fear. “Please, Kate. It meant nothing to me. I know I’m going to have to do a ton to make it up to you, but I’m ready to make this right. Just give me the chance. Please. Don’t let this ruin everything we have.”
Tears begin to burn at the back of my eyes, but I refuse to cry. “We have nothing, Ronan. Whatever we had, you killed it that night you slept with her.”
Jumping up from the park bench, he shakes his head wildly as he tries to get me to give him his hand again, but I won’t. “No! Trust me. It meant nothing. I was drunk. She was there. That was it. Please, Kate! Just let me fix this, and we’ll be good like we’ve always been. Nothing’s changed between us. I still love you, and I know you love me. We’ve got our future together all planned out. I’ll be playing ball somewhere, and you’ll be right there with me teaching kids like we’ve always dreamed. Don’t do this, Kate. Don’t give up on us because of one stupid mistake.”
As much as I swore to myself I wouldn’t cry, I can’t stop the tears as they stream down my cheeks. “It meant nothing? Nice. So you got drunk, and the one girl who’s always wanted to get with you is the person you cheat on me with? I told you what she said to me when she heard we started dating, and still you decided to go with her? It wasn’t nothing, Ronan. You broke us. You broke us, Ronan! I loved you more than I ever thought possible, and you broke us. And for what? To sleep with the one person I always worried you’d choose over me.”
He tries to explain himself more, but I can’t stand here and listen to any more about him cheating on me. I run away, unsure where I want to go but knowing I can’t be anywhere near him anymore. My tears make seeing next to impossible, but it doesn’t matter.
I just need to get away from him, from the hurt seeing him now makes me feel.
The pain of that night washes over me again, and I collapse onto my bed. I shouldn’t feel like my heart is breaking all over again, but I do. Maybe my mother’s right. Maybe I can’t be around Ronan now.
No, I can’t think of how hard it’ll be to see him again. Whatever pain the memory of that night brings me is nothing compared to what he must be going through. He’s lost the one thing he always dreamed of. That’s so much worse than anything I might go through talking to him now.