Chapter 14
Tatiana had murmured her goodnights and went back into the bedroom. No one spoke until the door closed behind her.
“What the fuck?” I turned to Dec.
“Everyone in this room had the right to know where her head was at about what happened to her.”
“I agree. Think maybe a word with her in private first would’ve been the cool thing to do?”
Declan’s features went hard and I knew he was gearin’ up to say something that was going to piss me the hell off.
“Let me ask you this. If I questioned a man the same way I questioned her, would your balls be twisted? Or a better question, if you weren’t fuckin’ her and I inquired about an operation that went south.
One that has the same players as the one we’re getting ready to walk her into, would you be pissed? ”
“Fuck! It’s not?—”
“Yes, Brooks, it’s exactly like that. I’m not going to pretend to understand.
” Declan’s hands went up. “I know nothing about love, feelings, emotional shit. I watched the big, bad Zane Lewis fall in love, I suppose it’s possible for a jackass like you to do it, too.
But do not let that shit get in the way of my mission again.
I wasn’t trying to hurt or embarrass her.
I knew the mission specifics but I needed to know if we walked her into Lucre if she’d be on a suicide mission to get to Al Issa.
That happens, we’re all fucked. I need to know she has the capability to keep her shit in check and take someone’s back.
If one or all of us has to babysit her, she’s of no use. ”
I wasn’t paying attention after he said love.
Who the hell said anything about falling in love?
She was hot. A phenomenal kisser and was great in bed.
Or in the shower as it were. Bottom line was, I was thinking with my dick, not my heart.
No one said anything about feelings. I was pretty sure she’d said she didn’t want complicated, either.
Emotions were a complication. No. We were two adults that had engaged in a mutually beneficial activity and I planned on engaging in it plenty more.
“You said it was fucked, but you didn’t say how fucked,” Thad said in a hushed voice.
“About as bad as she described it, minus the disgusting part. There’s probably not a square inch of her back that isn’t scarred. Through and through to her stomach. Honestly, I don’t see how she lived. Half of the wounds should’ve killed her.”
“Fucking hell,” he growled.
“Damn,” Kyle mumbled.
“It’s been two years and I can tell you she was left with more than just the physical scars. That shit marked her deep. Monroe did, too. She acts bitchy as a way to protect herself, one hand up warding off anyone from getting too close.”
“You gonna help her with that?” Max asked.
“With what?”
“With dropping that hand?” I didn’t answer and he sighed. “You said it yourself, the asshat Monroe left her with the need to protect herself. She doesn’t need you dickin’ her around.”
“You think I’d dick her around?”
“You weren’t exactly quiet in the shower. You haven’t hidden the fact there’s…. something…whatever that is, between the two of you. So, yes, brother, I think you’d dick her around. Unintentionally.”
“I’m handling it.”
“Hope so. That woman has been through enough.”
Now he was pissing me way the hell off. I’d never given anyone on my team reason to think I’d fuck over a woman.
My days of picking up women in a bar for a quickie in my truck were long over.
Therefore, I told him, “You’re pissing me the fuck off.
” I did this on a growl. I also did this in a way there was no mistaking he’d, Pissed Me The Fuck Off.
“I can see that,” Max returned, completely unfazed by my annoyance.
“I’ll tell you one last time, I’m handling it—with care.”
On a nod he announced, “I’m hitting the head, then hittin’ the sack. I’m wiped.”
The rest of the team, except Declan, murmured their goodnights and headed off to their rooms.
“You straight?” he asked when we were alone.
“I am. Are you?” His head tilted and he stared at me. “Your first op as team leader. It isn’t exactly going as planned,” I reminded him.
“Nothing ever goes as planned.”
This was true. Even the best planned ops always had some sort of hiccup. One of the many reasons we had backup plans for our backup plans.
“And Tatiana? You okay with her taggin’ along?”
“I knew her before she quit the CIA. Well, not personally, more I knew of her. My area of focus was Central and South America, hers was the Middle East. That doesn’t mean I didn’t hear a lot about her.
She had a stellar reputation. Smart, quick on her feet.
Great with human assets and information gathering. She and Monroe met on a mission.”
“No shit?”
“Rumor has it, she flat out laughed in his face and turned him down. He worked at it. Took him months after they got back stateside to get her to agree to go out for drinks. Then months after that to nail her down and get her to commit. And when I say worked at it, he pulled out all the stops. He may be an asshat, lying scumbag, but he knew how to turn on the charm and wear her down. Around the CIA she was known as the Ice Queen. No one got close. So this, what’s going on between the two of you, the fact she’s let you in, both literally and figuratively.
No matter how small.” He smirked and went on.
“Is not her normal MO. So when you say you’re handling her with care, I hope you mean with kid gloves. ”
I thought about what he said. He was wrong, not that I would correct him. Tatiana didn’t need kid gloves, she’d see right through that play and it’d piss her off. She needed honesty.
“I have it under control.”
Dec sighed and shook his head. “I hope so. That woman has a short temper and the potential to decimate you.”
“Me?”
“You’re not real good at hiding your shit, brother. When Zane told me what happened to her, your earlier shit hemorrhage made sense. You saw her scars.”
I was going to deny that I’d had a shit hemorrhage but I couldn’t. His description was better than me telling him I wanted to commit murder.
“I’d have that reaction with anyone.”
“Bull-fucking-shit. You’ve seen my scars. You didn’t look like you were ready to punch a wall. You’ve seen Zane’s. You’ve seen the bullet holes in Max’s chest. None of those times upon seeing the marks or hearing the story did you look like you were on the war path.”
Shit. Goddamn, he was right. Time to move on.
“I got my shit sorted. I’m callin’ it a night.”
“Sleep well.” He chuckled.
I flipped him the middle finger over my shoulder, not bothering to look back as I made my way to the bedroom. The room I was now sharing with Tatiana. I may’ve told her I’d take the couch, but shit had changed. Time to adapt and shift.
I gently closed the door behind me, not wanting to wake her. My efforts were for naught. Tatiana sat up in bed and even though it was dark in the room, I could feel her eyes on me.
“What are you doing?”
“Hittin’ the sack. I’m fuckin’ beat.”
“In here? I thought you were taking the couch.”
Knowing she couldn’t see me, I smiled and dropped my pants, kicking them to the side. I yanked off my tee and tossed that, too. I knew she’d be pissed I was joining her and I was looking forward to her sassy mouth telling me all the reasons I needed to get out of her bed.
I crawled in, leaving her no option to move over.
“Brooks,” she hissed.
“There’s more than enough room in here.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then what is?”
I tucked a pillow under my head, turned to the side, tagged her around her waist, and pulled her back to my front. When she struggled, I tightened my hold and curved my body around hers.
“You can’t sleep in here.”
“Why not?”
“It’s totally inappropriate.”
“And me fucking you in the shower wasn’t?”
“Brooks,” she hissed again, making me smile some more.
I kissed the top of her head and told her, “You don’t strike me as the type of woman who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. I sure as fuck don’t. So why start now?”
“I’m not a slut.”
I tried to stop my body from tightening, I failed. Every muscle bunched. I hated that word and it pissed me off she was inferring I thought she was one.
“I know you’re not.”
“Right. I gave it up easy. And the guys heard. If that doesn’t scream slut, I don’t know what does.”
I pulled back, rolled her to her back, and even though I knew she couldn’t see me, I got face-to-face with her.
“No one. I repeat, no one in this house thinks you’re a slut.”
I could feel her breath on my lips and I wanted to close the distance and taste her, but this was important. I needed to know she understood.