Chapter Forty-nine
Killian
I leave a note for Brynn on my pillow, then I head to her apartment to feed the damn cat.
I have to meet Sloane, but I knew if I didn’t feed Toast first, I’d return to an empty apartment no matter how many threats I made.
I text Sloane when I park so she knows to buzz me in, then I head straight up to her floor, hoping I don’t bump into Addison while I’m here.
On impulse, because I can’t stop being aware of its weight in my pocket, I slide my hand down to trace the shape of the burner phone just to make sure it’s still there. I know it is, but I still feel better feeling it. It feels like a get out of jail free card.
I know it isn’t that simple, but it is the closest thing to a lifeline the asshole could have handed me.
Sloane opens her bedroom door with a pleasant smile on her face. It must be bullshit. There’s no way she could still be happy to see me.
“Come in.” She steps back, absently smoothing down her white silk top and clasping her hands in front of the pale pink pencil skirt she’s wearing. “Would you like something to drink? I keep a mini fridge in here, so I have some drinks.”
I shake my head. “I’m good.”
She’s nervous. She tries to hide it behind her practiced politeness, but I can see it as she absently looks around for a place to sit as if she hasn’t been in her own room before.
“Over there works,” I say, nodding at the little sitting area she has set up with a white couch and chair around a coffee table.
She glances at me, then nods her agreement and takes a seat on the edge of the chair.
I sit on the couch.
Since I abandoned her at the party last night after taking her there, I figure I should probably apologize about that. “I’m sorry about last night.”
Her eyes widen slightly like that’s the last thing she expected me to say.
Which I guess is fair.
“Oh. Yeah, that was… not great.”
“I should have made sure you had a ride home.”
Her smile diminishes a bit when she realizes I was only apologizing for leaving her stranded and not literally everything else.
“Hex brought me home.”
I nod. I don’t have to worry about him pouncing on her like I would have worried if Brynn had been the one in his car, so I don’t bother asking about it. I know she made it home without any further damage being inflicted.
At least from him.
Which brings me to why I’m really here today.
“I know about you and Aiden.”
She freezes and quickly loses several shades of color.
I guess that answers my question.
I wondered, after I watched the video on the burner phone Aiden slipped into my pocket last night at the end of the fight, if Sloane ever would have told me on her own.
She wouldn’t have, and I would have hated being married to a woman who kept so much of herself secret from me. I know it’s probably a layer of self-protection, likely because she doesn’t feel she can trust me to love her if I know everything, but it’s just one more example of how fundamentally wrong Sloane and I are for each other.
I don’t know if Aiden is right for her, either.
I don’t know if he means anything to her.
I don’t know if she’s anything to him but a means to an end.
All I know is when Aiden leaned in and said, “I know how to get you out of your engagement,” my heart stopped. When I felt the weight of the phone he slid into my pocket, all I could think about was looking at what was on it.
I didn’t do it right away, of course.
I had Brynn with me, and she’s the biggest fucking distraction I’ve ever encountered, but once she was sleeping soundly in bed next to me where she belongs, I finally took the phone out of my jacket pocket and slipped into the bathroom.
And to say I was fucking shocked to see the video of Aiden’s face buried between Sloane’s thighs would be an understatement. It was probably an asshole thought, but I never really pictured Sloane being a passionate lover. The way she held onto his head and threw her head back… well, she had certainly let go.
But she also clearly didn’t know the asshole was recording her, and I do feel bad about that.
In a lot of ways, Sloane has had an easy life, but in a lot of the most basic ways, she doesn’t have what people without her family and all her material wealth have in plentiful supply.
I’m not sure there’s any love in her life.
I don’t know if a guy who moves the way Aiden does is going to change that.
But I wouldn’t have changed that, either.
If I hadn’t met Brynn, things would have gone differently, of course. I would have happily married Sloane because I wasn’t looking for love, and I would have been good to her because I would have appreciated what she brought to my life, but the more I’ve gotten to know her and noticed our glaring incompatibilities, at best I think our relationship would have always been shallow and superficial. A friendship more than anything romantic, and not even a close one.
Hex is right; Sloane’s a hell of a catch.
For someone else.
I don’t want an ice princess, and I’m not interested enough in her to thaw her out.
I want the woman whose heart blazes and bleeds like a fucking inferno, who loves so much the sight of an unloved dog makes her teary-eyed.
I don’t want a cold, pretty diamond hidden away in a display case that I can’t even touch. I want a fucking hearth of a human being, and there’s nothing warm about Sloane Whitley.
Well, that I’ve seen, anyway. Aiden seems to have gotten her pretty hot.
Good for him, I guess.
I know he thinks he’s getting the deal of a lifetime, and I thought that once, too.
But the truth is, I don’t care if Sloane comes with unimaginable wealth anymore. I want what money can’t buy. I can create the wealth myself and give it to Brynn. That’s what I want, and finally, because of Aiden’s ruthlessness, I see a way to get it.
Never thought the fucker would win me over, but I guess Hex was right about that, too—he is dedicated.
But Sloane isn’t sure how I feel, and reasonably—since we’re supposed to be getting married—she assumes I’m bringing up her hooking up with another guy because it pisses me off.
“I’m sorry,” she says carefully, watching my reaction. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to know.” She looks down at her lap. “It was just a… a last fling. It was impulsive. It didn’t mean anything. I won’t continue it, but you were with Brynn, and—”
“I know.” I shake my head. “I’m not mad. You had every right to do whatever you wanted with whoever you wanted. I certainly was. I’m not bringing it up to rub it in your face.”
“Then why are you?”
“Because I want out of this engagement, Sloane. I’m sure it’s no surprise.”
“No,” she says tightly. “But you know it’s impossible. Daddy—”
“That’s why we’re here. I already told him, man to man, that I had feelings for someone else, and he informed me that wasn’t a reason to break our contract.”
She brushes invisible lint off her skirt. “Of course he did.”
Technically, he told me to fuck Brynn on the side and just be careful and discreet about it, but I don’t tell her that. It would only serve to hurt her feelings even more.
“Men have urges. I understand.”
Perhaps the grossest fucking sentence I’ve ever heard.
“So I need you to talk to him,” I tell her. “I know he’s not the world’s most loving father, but surely it will mean more coming from you than me. If he knows we both want out of it…”
“He won’t care,” she says. “This isn’t just a marriage, it’s a merger, like you said. He didn’t just make this agreement to find me a husband, he did it to find me a specific husband—a Blue Blood he trusted to train, to take over for him and pass the crown to.”
“I know. And… since you like Aiden—”
The mere idea of me finishing that sentence seems to send her into a panic. “I never said I liked him.”
“It’s okay if you like him,” I assure her, trying to be nice, but my words seem to piss her off.
“Of course it is. Of course you don’t care. Why would you? You’re only supposed to be my husband. Evidently, only Brynn Blakely can trigger your jealousy.”
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
“She’s why you don’t want to marry me.”
“Yes, she is. And your hook-up with Aiden is why I may not have to.”
She looks as if I just slapped her.
“I don’t want to be a dick to you, Sloane, I really don’t. It’s not your fault I changed my mind, and I’m sorry it made a mess for you, but I think there’s finally a way to clean it all up. I spoke with Aiden, and he’d like to take my place. It seems like you two have more of a connection than we did anyway, so maybe it’s a win for everybody.”
Sloane is quiet for a moment. Then she says softly, “And how did you find out about us, Killian?”
I don’t really know how to answer that. “Aiden… told me,” I say, despite it being only partially true. I guess he showed me. I stopped watching the video once I realized what it was and how it could be weaponized to finally get out of this goddamn engagement, but he had saved his number in the phone as well so I could reach out to him and hear the rest of his proposal.
I would be free to be with Brynn, and he would marry Sloane and take over her family legacy in my place.
There’s no way to spin it that doesn’t look like me just selling her off to the next highest bidder.
But I don’t care about Sloane, and while I have no ill will toward her, I’m not willing to sacrifice my happiness or Brynn’s for her. If she doesn’t like Aiden, that’s her problem. She wouldn’t have liked me, either.
“So, you think I should marry a man who seduced me just to blackmail me into marrying him so he can have my father’s legacy for himself? You think that’s my happily ever after?”
Although I haven’t come out and said anything like that, she must have enough of an idea of how it all went down. Maybe I’m not even the first person he shared that video with.
And it doesn’t sound great when she puts it like that.
But, as heartless as it sounds, that’s her problem. Not mine.
“I think… whatever Aiden’s flaws, you stand a better chance at having one with him than me,” I tell her honestly.
“Can you really not even stomach the idea of marrying me when it comes with so much, Killian? Do you realize what kind of life we could have? What is so wrong with me? What does she have that I don’t?”
“My heart.”
Her shoulders straighten, and she sucks in a sharp breath. “That was mean.”
“Maybe. But it’s the truth. I don’t want to hurt or embarrass you more than I already have, Sloane, but I know what you want, and I know I can’t give it to you. If you’re looking for a husband that’s going to be faithful to you, you’re better off taking your chances with Aiden because it won’t be me.”
Her spine is stiff, her shoulders straight. She wears her propriety like a shield. “I see. And Brynn’s okay with this?”
“Brynn doesn’t have a say in the matter. She begged me to stop in the woods last night and I didn’t. I won’t next time, either.”
I imagine it’s pretty insulting to be told I’d rather force myself on someone else than take what Sloane has tried to give me willingly, but that’s the truth, no matter how brutal it might be.
Feeling the need to bring the conversation away from Brynn and back to us, I say, “I’ve tried to resign myself to this, Sloane, but do you really want a man who has to resign himself to a life with you?”
A tiny smile plays around her pink lips, but there’s no humor behind it. “No, you haven’t. If you want to end our engagement, fine, but don’t lie to me, Killian. You did not try.”
I’m quiet for a beat. “You’re right. I didn’t try.”
I didn’t want to.
She’s not the one I want to try for.
“Fine,” she says shortly, standing up. “I’ll talk to my father.”
I stand, too, and it feels like a hundred pounds have fallen off my shoulders. “Thank you.”
“I can’t promise anything,” she states. “He likes you, and he’s never even met Aiden.”
“I can arrange a meeting. I can introduce them myself and try to smooth the transition.”
She’s so fucking mad at me, there may as well be frost on her skin. “Fantastic.”
She walks me to the door despite how angry she is with me, and now that I’m feeling less trapped, I turn back to her. “I’m sorry this didn’t go the way you wanted it to. I truly hope Aiden makes you happy.”
Her eyes narrow. “I wouldn’t pick out a ring for Brynn just yet, Killian. Like I said, there’s no guarantee I can get us out of this. My father has the last word, and he wants a Blue Blood for a son-in-law. Aiden isn’t one.”
“Yet. There’s a pretty good case to make him one. I’m the obstacle that’s stood in his way, but now…”
She smiles grimly. “Yeah. Aiden found a way to get everything he wanted. Surprise surprise.”
My business is concluded here so I’m about to turn to leave, but something stops me. Her tone, how angry she is—at Aiden, at me, at Brynn. I understand her reluctance to marry the guy, given his methods of coercion, but I’m uneasy about the fact that she may feel like she’s the only one who loses if I get my way.
Either way, she’s getting a husband she may not be happy with, so why should she put in any effort to let me live happily ever after with someone else? I’m the one who fucked up her picture-perfect life. If she has to suffer, maybe it would give her a small measure of satisfaction to make sure I suffer, too.
It also seems like she’s still committed to blaming Brynn for my actions, and that’s the kind of thing a person does when they’re still hanging on to the wrongdoer. I’m the one backing out of the deal, but she keeps bringing it back to Brynn. Maybe she thinks if Brynn fell out of the picture, I’d fall back in line. Sure, I’d be sad for a while, but I’d give in to my life with her eventually, right?
I know there’s a conniving side to Sloane, too—not that I blame her. She’s been dealt a certain hand, and she has been raised a certain way. When her father has encountered things in the way of what he wanted in life, he has been known to make them move, and she’s learned what she lived.
It’s not outside the realm of possibility that Sloane could pretend to make her best effort to get me out of this deal, then marry me just to spite all of us. Aiden would be pissed, Brynn would be heartbroken, and I’d be her worst fucking nightmare, but maybe I haven’t been clear enough about that.
“Do you remember the night we met?” I ask her.
My question comes out of nowhere, so of course she’s a bit thrown. “Yeah.”
“Me too. Sophomore year. The Zeta date party, right?”
She almost smiles. “Yeah. The first one of fall semester.”
I nod. “We were on a yacht. I was there with that other Zeta. What was her name?”
Her smile disappears again. “Melanie.”
“Right. Melanie. But she got sick, had to disembark before we even left. I was gonna leave with her—not out of attachment to her or anything, just seems like if your date’s gonna leave, you should, too.”
“But I told you to stay,” Sloane says, leaning in the doorway.
I nod, leaning in the doorway too, planting my hand behind her so I can look down at her.
She licks her lips and looks up at me, some of the coolness in her gaze melting a bit at the memory of when she picked me.
Well, when she poisoned my date to free me up and then picked me.
“I knew why Melanie got sick, Sloane. Truth is, I kinda liked for you it. You went after what you wanted. I respected that.” I lean closer, sliding my hand around her slim throat.
She stiffens, but she doesn’t fight me.
“But let me be very fucking clear that I do not feel the same way now. And if any misfortune befalls Brynn, I will hold you personally responsible. Even if it’s not your fault. Even if there is no conceivable way it could be your fault. So you’d better hope she doesn’t get so much as a fucking hangnail, because if anything goes wrong for her, and if I end up marrying you, I will spend every day of our life together making you wish you could time travel just once in your life, back to that day on that yacht. I will make you wish you’d never tainted Melanie’s drink, and you’d never been touched or kissed or fucking enchanted by me. I will make you wish you’d never fucking met me. Do you understand me, Sloane?”
I feel her swallow, and then she nods.
“Good.” I release her. “Aiden likes you now. I don’t. Make your peace with him and pull your daddy’s little princess shit with your father. Do whatever you have to do to get us out of this engagement, and I’ll do the same. I promise you, it’s in your best interest as well as mine.”