34. Cian
Chapter 34
Cian
I pace a hole outside the door to Shane’s office.
Haven’t slept, haven’t eaten.
All I’ve done is worry over the countless ways tonight might pan out. The truth is, I’m unprepared to face most of the scenarios my mind came up with. That’s how topsy-turvy I fucking am on the inside.
It’s like I’m in a car with no brakes, barreling toward a brick wall.
I’ve never wanted the power to stop time so badly.
Stall was the best I could do yesterday when Finn told me that his father, Donal, and Thomas want to see Harper ASAP. It was a little after six in the morning then, and Rory and Darren were already talking about leaving the rendezvous spot and driving home. And I couldn’t let that happen.
I convinced Finn it was too soon to move Harper because of her injuries, but all that accomplished was getting our meeting with the powers that be pushed to tonight. Which is still no good.
What I expected—though now I realize it was only wishful thinking—was that Shane, Donal, and Thomas would want to see me. That would have made sense, and that would have been fine. I’m prepared to disclose what happened and leave out the fact that while I was gone, the earth shifted and I’m not even the same person I was before I set foot in Hawaii.
But they don’t want to see me.
They want to see Harper. My brain hasn’t shut off for a single second since Finn told me as much because they’d only demand to see Harper for two reasons.
They’ll expect an explanation regarding her disappearance. Why she decided to run, why she made the choice to betray the family.
Then, once they’ve heard the story, the second reason for bringing her in will come into play.
Punishment.
And that’s the part that’s eating away at me. Because while I don’t know much, I do know that Harper Brennan is mine now.
Mine. Every square inch of her, inside and out.
I know for a fact that I’m fully ready to kill anyone to preserve her safety. When I promised I’d keep her safe back in Hawaii, I knew it then too.
That I would say anything for her.
Go anywhere.
Do anything. Even kill her father the way I killed mine.
That’s how strong a hold this woman has on my heart. Nothing, no one, and no history is strong enough to tear me away from her.
Not anymore. Not ever again.
Slipping my cell phone from my pocket, I check the time again.
Ten minutes until seven.
Harper should be here any second. She’s just one floor below me in her suite with Riley, but even that short distance between us has me uneasy.
My nerves are still fucking shot.
Harper’s spent the last forty-eight hours either with me or her sister. But whenever she’s out of my sight, I can’t relax. Part of me worries that she’s gone or that something’s happened to her again.
I try to calm myself with the reminder that time will lessen the paranoia. Especially now that Enzo De Luca is finished.
I’m the kind of man who refuses to believe my enemy is dead unless I’m the one who killed them. Unless I was the one to break their body to pieces, or the one to watch as the blood drained from their corpse until there was none left.
This time, I was only able to gain a fraction of that satisfaction. I have to deal with the anxiety that it causes, but not today.
Right now, I’ve got bigger problems.
What’s my plan if things go south in this meeting with Harper? I vowed to protect her, and this is the moment of truth. If any of the highest-ranking members of this family threaten her safety, then what?
Am I really prepared to take on anyone who tries to hurt her? If her father raises a hand to her, am I going to shoot Thomas Brennan dead right there in the room?
There’s a damn construction site in my chest, my heart’s hammering so hard.
If they sentence Harper to death, I’ll shoot all three of those old fucks, grab her, and run. I’ll drive until we’re so far away that no one can touch us.
If Shane or her father tries to engage her to someone else, I’ll help her run away a second time or, even better, I’ll just kill the guy they pick. That way, Harper won’t have to run away again.
I barely survived two months apart the last time.
At the end of the hall, Harper appears, chasing every other thought from my mind.
She treads slowly, her right arm braced on the wall for support as she approaches. The closer she gets, the more the air squeezes from my lungs.
She’s so beautiful.
Her golden waves—which have cascaded down her back for as long as I’ve known her—are chopped short. Now, her hair stops at her shoulders like a curtain of milky sunshine haloing her stunning face.
She looks like a different person.
If she’d asked me before, I would’ve told her not to change a single thing, but somehow, I already like her better this way.
Everything in me aches to lead her down the hall to my suite and show her how much I love her.
Jesus. When I’m around Harper, I get claustrophobic in my own clothes . I want to be all over her.
Desire burns in my veins. And so does love.
I love Harper Brennan. Those four words create an earthquake inside me. All I can do is swallow hard and force the thought away for the moment.
“Are you okay, honey?”
“Yeah, just stiff.” She reaches up to brush a lock of that hair behind her ear, and fuck , I just want to wrap her in my arms. “Riley wanted to walk me up, but I told her I’m fine. It’s not so bad if I go slow.”
She’s hurt, you fucking idiot. The fresh wave of fury at the reminder chases away the lust for a moment. I take a breath and distract myself.
“You cut your hair.” I have to fold my fingers into fists to keep my hands from running through the freshly trimmed tresses and pulling her face to mine.
“Oh, yeah.” Harper rolls her lips together. “Enzo cut some of it off, and it was so noticeable that I couldn’t deal with it, so Riley, Bex…they gave me a haircut.”
She rushes through the words. The mention of that bastard’s name fills my head with visions of arson, but focusing on Harper drifts the thought away like a slow-rolling cloud.
Her eyes flick away from mine as pink stains her cheeks. “Does it look weird?”
Too fast, I blurt out, “I love it.”
Harper’s gaze snaps back to mine.
It’s obvious how wild I am for her. Might as well be tattooed on my face.
“Thank you.” She shakes her head a little, like she’s trying to refocus herself. “Thank you for meeting me here, I mean.”
Shane, Donal, and Thomas want to meet with Harper alone, of course.
But she asked me to go in there with her. I don’t think I can do it…face them…without you , she told me earlier, when we arrived back at the estate.
The fact that Harper’s still relying on me to help her through this, that she still trusts me to have her back even though I failed to protect her so catastrophically, brings tears to my eyes.
Fuck, I need her so badly.
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Cian?” Her eyes widen as she peers up at me. “I…I just wanted to say I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve put you through.”
Oh fucking hell. Don’t do this to me right now. I’m on the edge as it is.
“Don’t apologize.” I exhale hard, suppressing the emotion behind my words. “It’s all in the past.”
She nods a little, and her tone darkens. “It’s time.”
With a curt nod, I pull open the door to Shane’s office. “Let’s do this.”
Strength shines in her eyes, and then she steps into the room with me right behind.
Tonight, Shane’s office looks like a lion’s den.
Finn’s father sits behind an enormous mahogany desk, a whiskey glass at his fingertips and a pensive, grim expression on his face. Over one shoulder stands Donal Gallagher, his cousin and the mafia’s underboss, and the other, Thomas Brennan, glorified Irish Kings general and Harper’s reptile of a father.
“Thank you, Cian.” Shane addresses me first. “You may go.”
His dismissal glances off me. I don’t move an inch. In front of me, I squeeze one of my hands with the other to keep from reaching for the gun holstered out of sight against my chest.
Harper clears her throat. “Actually, I asked him to come in with me.”
A chill settles over the room.
Are they wary because Harper’s probably never stood up for herself before? Or are they wary because they can sense that my allegiance to them has shifted? That Harper matters more to me than they do?
“We understand you’ve been on quite the adventure these past two months.” Donal lights a cigarette, trying to cut Harper down with just his eyes. “For your sake, I hope betraying your duty to this family was worth it.”
“It wasn’t worth it,” Harper says, and even Donal seems surprised that she conceded so easily. “I can see that now. I should have had the courage to come out in the open, right from the beginning.”
Thomas Brennan bristles. It’s slight, but I catch it in my periphery.
“Tonight, I came here to say one thing and one thing only.” Harper takes a deep breath. I see her shoulders trembling. “I’m taking a break from this family. I don’t want to work in my old role anymore, and I’m not interested in being your protected property. I never was.”
“I taught you better than this.” Thomas shakes his head, the slow and disapproving movement somehow demonic, with his dark eyes glowing as he glares at her.
“You’re right.” She faces her father head-on. “You did teach me better than this. You taught me how to be a victim. How to be invisible. How to stand in the back and go along with whatever you say.” Harper’s voice goes all high and rickety. Pride swells in my chest because I can tell she’s fighting tears, but she doesn’t back down. Not one inch. “I let you use me all these years because I thought that’s what a good daughter should do. But I didn’t realize that a good father doesn’t use his children.”
“ Shut your mouth !” Thomas roars.
“You will never use me in that way again as long as I live.”
“Apologize for your insolence,” Thomas demands. “ Now .”
“I’d rather die.” Harper and her father descend into a vicious nonverbal standoff.
Finally, Thomas hisses, “Don’t tempt me.”
I snarl just as Shane holds up a hand, silencing the room. “Thomas, enough.”
Which doesn’t bother me, because I’m pretty sure any sound I could make is crushed as the meaning of Harper’s words sink in.
I’m unprepared to let Harper go ever again, so her announcement that she’s taking a break from the Kings does nothing short of throwing me into chaos.
What does that mean, exactly? Is she saying she’s out for good and, if so, where does that leave us?
If she turns her back on the Kings, does that mean she’s turning her back on me too?