14. Jamieson
fourteen
Jamieson
“ T he sunset out here is gorgeous. I wish we had more lakes near home to do this.”
“Me too.”
Griff presses back into my chest as I hold him close. The boat we took to the beach has an upper deck and we’ve come up here to enjoy the sunset, along with a few other couples. It’s a stunning view.
I don’t just mean the sunset either. Griff has always had a tender heart. I knew that when I met him, but he often kept it hidden. Today he showed me all of him and I can’t stop seeing him in a different light. He’s an attractive man. I’ve always thought that too, but now that I’ve peeled back a few more layers, his inherent goodness is more beautiful than any sunset.
After we found ice cream and walked along the beach, he shared with me how vacations held mixed emotions for him. His mother left when he was just a young boy, and he had no memories of family vacations. His father often broke his promises to him, and Griff held onto those broken promises so hard he caused himself physical pain.
When he was only ten years old, he wanted so badly to visit a beach and collect seashells from the ocean. His dad said they’d take a road trip once school was out and visit a place in British Columbia. They talked about it and planned for a month. When school ended, his dad kept brushing it off and making excuses until poor ten-year-old Griff realized it would never happen.
Griff forgave his dad because he figured out it was the grief and the alcohol, and his father often said things he didn’t mean. But he never let the wound heal. Meanwhile, my parents took us to Cuba and Mexico during spring break almost every year. While I left Griff during reading week to go catch some sun in the middle of Canadian winter, he smiled and wished me so much fun, promising he’d enjoy his week off.
He didn’t.
He made a quick trip home in his shitty car to check on his dad before coming back to the dorms to study or pick up an odd job for a few days, like waxing floors in the cafeteria. Griff never once complained or said anything about it to me, choosing instead to hear me rave about the resort and how amazing it was to sleep on the beach during the day and party at night.
I realize we come from different backgrounds, and it was a privilege my family had, but not once did he ever let on that perhaps my life was one he envied.
“Hey, where did you go?” Griff tilts his head back, and the freckles along his nose are a little more prominent after the sun today. He still smells like coconut sunscreen and his smile is so fucking happy it just gets me right in the feels. This is the spring break he never had. The elusive vacation he wanted as a ten-year-old, and he did it with me.
My chest aches with the emotion that swamps you when you come to realize someone made you their number one, their most important person, and guilt scratches alongside that realization. We could have shared these things for years, but I lived fast and free, chasing casual sex and allowing my family to spoil me with things Griff never had.
I press a kiss to the side of his neck and squeeze my eyes closed. Christ, I’ve never been emotional like this. I squeeze my arms tighter around Griff, pressing him so close. I wish I could crawl inside and mend all the bruises on his heart.
“Not complaining about the hug, but it’s hard to breathe, Jamie.”
With a watery laugh, I release my hold, and he turns in my arms to face me. The sun has almost disappeared, and the dock is in view. In a few short minutes, this magical day will be over.
“Are you okay?” Griff brushes a stray piece of hair off my forehead, and the creases on his forehead deepen.
“I’m fine. More than fine. I had an epiphany of sorts, and it kind of caught me off guard.”
“Should I ask what it was?”
An announcement sounds for us to return inside the boat while it docks, and the other couples head to the stairs. Damn if I don’t want this moment or night to end, but reality is a bitch sometimes.
“That I don’t want this day to end, and I’ve probably been in love with you for a long time.”
Griff’s lips part in shock.
“Gentlemen, we need you to take your seats, please.” A staff member calls out since we’re still not down on the lower deck.
Clearing my throat, I apologize to the woman and lead a silent Griff down the stairs to our seats on the lower level. Our day in the sun may be over, but our night isn’t.
“We already have to drive back tomorrow. Then a rodeo in Saskatchewan before we’re home in our own beds again.”
Griff tosses his towel over the back of a chair and eases next to me on the couch. We had dinner at the diner when we got back from the boat and then took turns in the shower. I gathered up a few things in the loft I’d left lying around and ate the final blueberry muffin while Griff showered. I wasn’t hungry, but it occupied me for a few minutes at least.
“Are you okay to work this rodeo with a broken arm?”
Griff raises his eyebrow. “Of course I can. The pain is mostly gone, and I can still use my arm fine.” He finishes pulling off the tape to remove the bag I placed while he showered. “It’s like armour if another bull tries to get me. I can bonk him if I need to.”
He shifts to look at me, and I meet his gaze. “Are you okay with it?”
“It’s not my decision to make.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Letting my head drop back, I stare at the ceiling and remember waiting at the hospital. How I just had this pressure on my lungs that if Griff didn’t walk out of there completely fine, I might just deflate forever. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
His knee bumps against mine, and I squeeze my eyes closed .
“Jamie…you risk injury yourself every night on those bulls.”
“For eight seconds. You’re out there for every single rider.”
I’m totally irrational and I know it, but I’m pulled from my spiralling thoughts with the weight of Griff straddling my lap and his palms sliding up my neck.
“I don’t want to fight about this. It’s been the best day of my life, and I want to end our time here with something better than a fight.”
He presses forward and nudges his groin against mine, and I suck in a breath. “You want to finish what you wanted on the beach?”
“Yeah.” He pulses his hips and drops his lips to my neck before kissing my tattoo. The one with his initials in it…that I foolishly told myself meant nothing more than friendship. Even Marko assumed it was something else and I was so fucking obtuse. “Can we? Are you okay with it? It’s not like… it’s not the sex you’re used to, I guess.”
“You’re right. It’s not.” My hands grip his firm globes and pull him tighter to me. Griff’s lips part with a sigh at the contact, and I know without a doubt, this will change my life. “Because the sex I’m used to is just getting off with people, Griff. I already know this will be different and not because of the no penetration thing, if that’s what you meant.”
His neck flushes pink as he huffs a long, shaky breath. “You’re sure you’re okay with that? It’s a big ask.”
Fuck those fucking fuckers who ever made him think he wasn’t good enough as he is. I hate seeing him so unsure of himself. My Griff is strong and confident and always will be, even if I have to build him back up one orgasm at a time. Sex can be beautiful in every way with the right person, and Griff is my person.
“Yeah, babe. I’m more than sure, because me and you?” Reaching up, I pull his mouth to mine. “We’re gonna light up the night every single time.”
Griff melts into me with a moan, and I’m consumed with the need to have him come undone because of me. For me to bring him to the ecstasy he’s been missing with these lesser men. To just once, not think of myself first anymore and treat Griff right.
Tapping his ass, I whisper against his lips. “Take it off.”
Griff pushes off and stands in front of me. His hands slide under the elastic of his briefs before he shoves them down, stepping out of them and standing before me, naked. Suddenly, my loose-fitting sweatpants feel far too tight and I’m struggling to push them down. I’ve been with men before, and while I’ve enjoyed my encounters, I’ve never felt the snap like I feel right now. The indescribable pull that has me reaching for Griff before he’s even settled back against me.
“Jesus, Griff. You’re sexy.” Bumping my nose against his, I breathe in the lingering scent of sunscreen even after a shower and my lips curve into a smile.
His shaky breath hits my skin before his lips find mine in a frantic kiss. Like he’s afraid this is the only time we’ll do this.
“Jamie…I…” Griff rests his forehead on my shoulder while he moves his hips. A slow rock that brushes against my rock-hard cock every time he draws back. It’s the intimacy of the entire action that holds me back from mauling him like a starving animal. Almost like he’s afraid of what this means .
My hands roam and map every line and curve on his back until they rest on his ass, content with their final destination. He sits back, chest heaving as he reaches between us and runs his thumb over the tip of my cock, before touching it to his lips with a sexy grin.
“One day I’ll know the taste of every inch of you, but right now I’m probably gonna shoot the moment you touch me.”
“I want to see that.”
Griff reaches back and guides my hand to his length. Never letting my gaze leave his, I stroke him slow and firm, watching as his body coils over me before releasing the sexiest, horniest moan I’ve ever heard. Griff’s load lands hot on my dick after a few short pulls, just as he predicated, and I’m not mad about it. He let himself go, fully and completely, just for me. No more hiding.
I pull him down to my lips with my free hand and kiss him. Nibbling his lip and scraping along his stubbled jaw.
“You just came on my dick, and I’ve never been so turned on. Make me come, Griff.”
Like him, it doesn’t take much to send me over the edge because every inch of my body is on fire for him. A live grenade and any touch from Griff pulls the pin.
With a groan, I drop my head back and come hard. Spurts of cum hit my stomach and chest and I have to blink my eyes a few times to clear my vision.
“Holy shit, Jamie,” he pants as he leans forward to feather kisses across my jaw. “Just…holy shit,” he says again before pressing his lips to mine.
Sweaty, covered in cum, and with Griff’s lips on mine, I couldn’t be more content .
“You’re right. That’s better than arguing,” I puff against his lips.
“We should clean up…again.” He laughs softly. “Then get a decent sleep before we have to drive tomorrow.”
“This wasn’t how I thought this vacation would go. What do you think the guys will say when we get back?”
Not that it matters to me, but I want to know where his mind is on the issue.
“I think they’ll be happy if we are. Any regrets?” Griff slides his nose along mine, and the tender gesture shifts my emotions again.
“One.” Griff stiffens, but I meet his gaze. “That I didn’t buy more blueberry muffins.”
My stomach growls, and I grin.
Griff kisses me with a laugh, and I honestly can’t think of another time I felt this complete.