24. Jamieson
twenty-four
Jamieson
“ I wish I knew what it is about blueberries that makes me crave them so much.”
Honestly. What is it about this little round berry that makes it so tasty? Is the blue part? Is there research on this?
“You just like blueberries. It’s totally okay to like something so much it’s all you can think about.”
My fork pauses at my lips, and I raise a playful eyebrow. “Oh? And what do you like so much that it’s all you can think about?”
Griff shakes his head with a smile and sips his coffee. “Don’t fish for compliments, Jamie.”
We share a secret glance, one that carries more weight than it ever used to. Griff and I have always been able to communicate without words. But now there’s a whole other level to his expressions, and it blows my mind that I understand him without a single word exchanged.
Those soft blue eyes and shy lowering of his chin, a lick of his lips. I read you loud and clear, Griff, and I’m going to make up for so much lost time with you. I promise.
“I can see you two mooning at each other from across the room.” The barista, Diamond, sets another plate of blueberry goodness in front of me. “Compliments of me because I have tea to spill and needed a reason to come and sit for a minute.”
He wedges himself on the seat next to Griff and beams a smile at us both. Diamond owns The Thirsty Cow and is the most colourful and over-the-top person I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t call him a close friend, but we’ve gotten to know him well the past year because when we’re home, we come here far too often.
He makes some of the best damn blueberry creations around and always finds time to ask us about our lives. Which would normally feel like small talk, but Diamond carries himself with a genuine warmth. He cares about his patrons, and I love that about him.
“You don’t need to bring me free food to gossip. It’s appreciated, but unnecessary.”
Diamond snort laughs and crosses his long, toned legs. Both Griff and I ogle them before glancing at each other with a shared look. The man has amazing legs, and those little jean shorts show them off well.
“Eyes up here, boys.” Diamond gestures to his face. “Listen, you need to know this.”
“Okay.” Griff shifts sideways to face him. “What’s going on?”
“Your super hot friend, the one with the ranch. Hunter, right?”
“Yeah, he’s the one who owns the ranch. I don’t know if he’s hot, though?” I say between bites of free dessert. “If you’re into the silent, broody type, I suppose he is. What about him?”
Diamond tsks and shakes his head. “Silent and broody is hot all day long in my books and extra when there are two of them!”
“Two Hunters?” Griff’s eyebrows scrunch and Diamond huffs in exasperation .
“No. Hunter was here for almost two hours last night with another man who fans the flames, if you know what I mean.”
Diamond raises one perfectly manicured eyebrow with a smirk.
“He fans your flames or Hunter’s?” I’m sort of confused about what he’s trying to tell us.
“Hunter was here with another tall, dark, and handsome. They sat here for two hours and had multiple coffees. Hunter had a slice of lemon cheesecake, and mystery man had deep-dish apple pie.” He points to the cozy corner with two giant overstuffed chairs. “Although I shouldn’t say he’s a mystery man. I’ve seen him here with Riley before, and one of my employees mentioned a new lawyer in town. I’m betting it’s him. They sat there and there was a lot of talk. Heated talk. It seemed big, so I wanted to mention it. I’ve never seen Hunter with another man who’s not any of you before.”
Griff shrugs. “He hasn’t said anything about being involved with anyone. Especially Gabe, if that’s who it is. Maybe he doesn’t want us to know yet.”
Diamond snort laughs and pats Griff’s shoulder. “That’s cute. If he wants a secret, he shouldn’t have come here then. The man should know that I keep track of everyone’s business.” Diamond wags a finger between us. “Like you two. I wasn’t sure if Jamieson was just too thick or you were too shy. But there was always something.”
“A little of both, but I was definitely too thick.” Or, more accurately, self-absorbed. If I had paid more attention, I would’ve noticed there was more to the extra touches from Griff.
“Doesn’t matter now. We’re, ah…we’re moving in together.” Griff beams when Diamond slaps his hand to his chest with a ha ppy gasp. “It’s fast, but we have history. Jamie is my person, so why wait, you know?”
“Absolutely right. Hey, if you have a housewarming party, I’d love to bring you some baked goods. Maybe blueberry?”
Laughing, I stand and stretch. “I’ll never decline that. And of course we’ll let you know. We never talked about a party, but perhaps we should.”
“We’re on our way right now to see the place.” Griff stands to join me, and I press a quick kiss to his cheek.
Diamond pushes off his seat. “That’s my cue to get back to work, then. Enjoy the night and make sure you give me notice to bake something!”
He struts back to the main counter, and we both watch after him. Griff reaches for my hand and slides our fingers together.
“I like him, don’t you?” Griff says as we walk past the coffee-making bar with a wave and exit the building.
“I do. He’s fun and apparently a spy on Hunter.”
“And those legs…” Griff bites his knuckle in jest, and I open the truck door for him. “Never pegged you for a leg guy.”
He kisses my cheek before sliding into his seat. “I’m more a Jamieson kind of guy.”
“Well…that wo rks out well for me, doesn’t it?”
The drive to our new place is only ten minutes.
My late grandmother’s older home, our home now, sits at the end of a cul-de-sac in an older residential area of Kissing Ridge. I’ve always loved it and have fond memories here as a kid. From the backyard water balloon fights during summer vacation to the Easter egg hunts around the house that my grandmother loved to organize; nothing but happiness lives here for me. My memories sometimes make my heart hurt for Griff, since he never had the same happy childhood I did.
That’s been nagging at me a lot the last few weeks. It’s not something I can change, but it compels me to provide him with more. To give him the experiences I’ve taken for granted. Even a damn Easter egg hunt, because the simple joy of finding hidden plastic eggs would mean everything to Griff.
“This is our new place.”
Griff leaps out of the truck before I even kill the engine. He smiles at the tidy little row of flowers lining the walkway to the front door and the paved but bumpy asphalt driveway. He stands on the lawn gazing at the house. The shutters need replacing or repainting, but the light beige siding is newer, along with the rain gutters. Something I didn’t think was important a few years ago when Dad had it done, but now I do .
It’s a modest home. Nothing fancy or overly large. Average in every way.
“It’s perfect, Jamie.”
Griff’s smile is blinding as he rushes to the back of the house. The yard is smaller, but there’s a single raised vegetable bed and a tiny shed for storage. It definitely needs a spruce up. The back door opens onto a small deck barely big enough for the BBQ. But Griff doesn’t see the deficiencies I do.
“We can go in, right? The tenants left?”
“Yeah, babe. That’s what I brought you here for. Come on.”
After fishing the keys from my pocket, we return to the front door, and I lead us into the empty house. Griff kicks off his shoes in an excited rush. “Give me the tour, Jamie. Show me everything.”
He’s breathless with excitement that spreads to me, and I’m smiling back, but my emotions are rocking like a ship in stormy waters.
“Okay, it’s not a huge house, so it won’t take that long. This is our living room.” It takes up the entire front of the house, and if we wanted, half could be the dining room. Griff runs his fingers along the edge of the mantle of the gas fireplace.
“We can hang stockings from the mantle at Christmas.” His voice wavers, but that smile never fades.
“Yeah, we can.”
We walk into the kitchen, which is big enough for a table for us, but I’d like to make a kitchen island instead. The door to the back deck is in the corner and another door leads to the pantry. Griff opens and closes cupboards and runs his fingers along the countertop .
“I want to upgrade the cupboards and put in an island for us to eat at and use for extra counter space. Instead of a kitchen table.”
We’ve discussed some of the renovation ideas I have, but not all of them. Griff doesn’t want to have much input because his name isn’t on the mortgage. I respect his feelings about that, but I also want him to make this his home. It’s our home no matter whose name is on the piece of paper.
“I like that idea.” He bounces on the balls of his feet. “Show me the rest.”
Leading him down the very short hall, I show him the linen closet and the bathroom. “This definitely needs an upgrade. I want a bigger shower and to have the laundry machines here. We don’t need two sinks.”
Griff pokes his head into the shower before laughing. “There’s no way the two of us will fit in here. Good call.”
At the end of the hall are two bedrooms. One will be ours, and the other is for us to discuss, but I think he’ll agree with my plan.
“Oh, I love the window in this one. Is this our room?”
Our room.
Those words from his lips are the ultimate confirmation that this is real. Griff and I are in this together. I never have to worry when he’s away or miss him at night when we sleep in separate places. He’ll share this space all the time and be next to me in bed.
Holy shit.
We’re actually a couple.
“Jamie? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m…it just sort of hit me that this is ha ppening.”
I’m not spiralling into doom. I’m sitting somewhere on the edge of spontaneous laughter or breaking out into dance. It could go either way.
“Are you…is this still what you want?”
Griff’s smile fades, and I reach for him before his happiness disappears completely.
“More than I thought I ever did. It just sort of hit me that everything is changing and you’re not just my best friend, you’re my partner in this life. It caught me off guard that this is our forever.”
Griff breathes out and presses his forehead to mine. “You’ve always been my hope, Jamie, and I couldn’t walk away from you. I got as far as applying for my master’s program, and then dad…” He sighs again. “I’m still here because I don’t think I can ever walk away.”
“The only time I want to see the back of you is when you’re going to the kitchen to get me a snack.” He huffs a laugh, and I take his face in my hands. “Preferably of the blueberry kind. But the Griff kind is my favourite.”
Pressing my lips to his, I sink into this moment. We’re creating a future that wasn’t even on my radar three months ago. Now I’m consumed with a Pinterest board I started, and showing Griff all my ideas to make it our home. To give him and his dad a new start, because they’re a package deal. To build a little family of our own.
Griff’s fingers curl into my shirt. “Are we going to have sex in every room of the house when we move in?”
“Is that a thing?”
“Maybe. If it isn’t, we should totally make it a thing. ”
Griff chases my lips while he fumbles with my belt buckle and suddenly the heat just turned on. He walks me backwards until my back hits the wall and I growl in frustration when I can’t get his pants open.
He steps back and quickly gets his pants shoved to his thighs and does the same to me. Griff is confident, and it’s hot as hell when he gets that look in his eye. I’ve seen it before in the ring. His take-no-shit game face, and when his rough palm grips my cock, my head thuds against the wall.
“Jamie…lips on me.” His hand grips the back of my neck and I comply with his request now that my brain is back online.
His hips pump into mine, nudging his hardness against me. Never have I felt so consumed by someone like I do now. Griff pressing against me, his lips and hands everywhere. It’s like I’ve melted into him, and every cell of my being is caressed by some part of him.
“Fuck, Jamie…” His lips falter on my skin when my hand closes around his dick.
“Fucking hell, Griff,” I croak when he bites into my shoulder. How can something so frenzied and carnal feel so fucking perfect?
We’re both racing to bring each other to the finish while trying to climb inside each other, and I’ve never felt so connected to anyone. So in tune without words.
Griff groans into my mouth as the warmth of his release coats my hand. “Jamie…” His breathless plea breaks me, and I push up on my toes, forcing him to squeeze me tighter. And then I’m over the edge. I come with a shout that echoes in the empty room, and my free hand clutches the back of Griff’s head, holding him to me as we both try to catch our breath .
“Thank god I have a wall holding me up because that was fucking intense.”
Griff laughs into my neck before pressing a kiss there. “That was…unexpected. I don’t know what happened. I just…god, I just wanted to…” He swallows, and his silence drags on. “I needed to make sure all this is real.”
“Nothing is more real than the cum cooling in my hand.”
Griff barks a laugh and separates us carefully. He shuffles into the bathroom, and we clean up the best we can with warm water and squares of toilet paper.
A splash of pink still sits on his cheeks, a leftover mark of his desire for me, as he pats his hands dry on his jeans.
“I didn’t plan on us having sex here right now. I would have planned better if I knew you’d go all feral on me.”
That pink tinge turns a little brighter and I pump an internal fist. I fucking love Griff like this. Like him anyway, really, but demure and blushing is one of my favourites.
“I’ve never told you this, but you’re the first guy I’ve been with who calls what we do sex. I don’t think you understand what that means to me.”
“Why wouldn’t it be sex? We both came. We helped each other to get there. That’s sex to me. Every time is sex.”
Griff puffs a long breath and leans on the counter. “Jamie, when we were in university, I went there thinking I’d get to discover what it was like to be a gay man. I had plans. Filthy ones.” His lips tilt in a small smile. “The first guy I ever hooked up with, the very first one, laughed at me when I asked him to stop because I didn’t like what he was doing. He stopped, but not before he made me feel like I was a freak. I wasn’t worthy because sex meant only one thing to him. If I didn’t want a dick in my ass or to bury myself in someone else balls deep, how could I call myself gay, right?”
Griff hangs his head, and the absolute heartbreak comes off him in waves. “I never told you that happened. Or that it happened a few more times before I gave up trying to meet people.”
He lifts his head, a sad smile on his still flushed face.
“I wish you had said something. I’d have been there for you.” Something clicks in my brain, and I step closer to him. “That night we were both fooling around with that cute blonde guy…you left. Was it because of this?”
Griff quickly nods once.
“Mostly. I didn’t want to be in a situation like that and have you find out. It wasn’t something I wanted to share. Plus, I already knew I loved you. Seeing you intimate with someone else up close…I couldn’t handle it. I thought I could, but I lied.”
“I’m sorry. If I had known…” Fuck, if I’d have known, I don’t know how different things would have been, but I would never have suggested a three way.
Griff wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me.
“Now you know. It’s the past, and we’ve both grown. I just wanted to tell you how you make me feel so seen. It’s such a tiny thing, but it means the world to me.”
He kisses me again, and minutes pass with us lazily kissing each other and sharing whispers of promises. The storm of my emotions from earlier calms, and it’s the most settled I’ve felt in years.
When my stomach growls, the tender moment ends. Griff laughs and pats my stomach.
“Let’s get you fed. ”
We don’t even finish the house tour. Griff leads me outside and suggests we grab a pizza to bring to his place so we can watch TV and eat in our underpants.
And honestly, that sounds perfect.