27. Griff
twenty-seven
Griff
T he last rider of the first flight exits the ring safely, and I finally allow myself to search the stands for my dad.
While the rodeo clown sets up for a skit, I grab water from a volunteer and wave at the crowd where my dad sits. He’s still wearing that ridiculous straw hat, and he and Riley wave back.
Even from a distance, it’s clear he’s enjoying himself, and when he waves back, the little boy in me surfaces with mixed emotions. All the science fairs or public speaking that he missed, I can’t forget how much I wished he were in the audience for. But tonight feels like a new beginning. Like the ten-year-old who wanted his dad to be at the library for his speech on hermit crabs, I use this moment to insert him there and wave back.
And that’s the moment I know I can’t walk away from this part of my life completely. Bullfighting was never my end goal, but in some sort of way, having Dad here to see me fills a hole I’ve long ignored. Jamieson’s confession that he didn’t need me to prop him up surprised me, but in the best possible way.
With all the changes and emotional fragilities of my life the past few months, I’m standing in a rodeo ring experiencing the greatest epiphany of my life.
I can still have everything I’ve ever wanted .
The man. My dad. Rodeo… and the dream I tucked away when I left university because I was being pulled in too many directions and couldn’t possibly stretch any further.
The revelation settles over me, and for the first time since I was a kid struggling to grow up far too soon, I finally see a light on for me.
The short intermission ends, and I get back to work, vigilant of all the bull riders, but with a new restlessness for Jamieson’s ride. He has a lot on the line with tonight’s ride, and choosing to go with a new pre-ride routine hopefully doesn’t backfire.
“Give it up for hometown rider, Jamieson Carr.” The announcer’s voice blares over the speakers, drawing out the ‘ r ’ in his name so it sounds like a growl. The crowd roars so loudly it drowns out the announcer. Jamie’s black helmet and long torso are visible as he works to position himself on the bull, Morphine Dream. The bull has a good chance of bucking him off tonight because he has a winning record and has only seen the end of eight seconds with a rider still on board three times all season.
Nothing about Jamieson’s posture shows he’s nervous. He’s all confident moves and sharp instructions to the people at the top of the chute helping him. Then he’s nodding his head, and the men pull open the gates.
The massive black bull with mismatched horns launches out of the gate, hell bent to throw Jamieson off. It bucks high and hard, sideways and back again. My heart is in my throat because this is the best ride of his life. His form is perfect, and every muscle in his body must be on fire while he fights to survive the ride.
The buzzer sounds, and from the corner of my eye, I see the stands with our friends and family jump to their feet clapping, and I’m pretty sure my dad’s straw hat goes flying. Jamieson works to free himself and holds on just long enough to grab onto a pickup man while Morphine Dream simply trots to the end of the ring and down the corridor like a respectable loser.
“Jamieson Carrrrr….” The announcer draws out the end of his name again as the man himself stumbles towards me while ripping off his helmet. “Get on your feet because the hometown hero just rode Morphine Dream for the biggest score of the night!”
Then Jamie is right in front of me with his smile and those damn dimples that make my knees weak.
“Ninety-five points for the bull rider, folks!”
“Holy shit!” Jamie’s eyes widen as he reaches me, and we both laugh.
“Holy shit is right! You did it. You’re going to the finals, Jamie.”
“I’m going to the finals, baby!” He tilts his head back and howls like a wolf at the moon, and I’m so happy for him that my chest aches with a joy I don’t know how to express.
But Jamieson does.
His hands grip my shirt as he pulls me into his chest.
“That ride was for you, Griff. You’re it for me.” He crashes his lips to mine, and we let ourselves fall into a passionate kiss in the middle of the ring with the roar of the crowd surrounding us.
My hands shake as they clutch at his waist, and when we finally break for air, we find a line of cowboys waiting, applauding with smiles on their faces.
I duck my head against Jamie with a groan. “Oh god. This is embarrassing.”
Jamie just grins with that mischievous glint in his eye and tugs me towards the exit. “As embarrassing as that time I made you sing karaoke with me and the prompter broke, so we made up the words?”
Despite my embarrassment, I bark a laugh and take his hand in mine as we exit the ring. “Not quite. Although if you kissed me then like you did just now, I’d probably think it was the best karaoke performance of my life.”
Jamieson takes a few minutes to receive congratulations from some of the bull riders, and I stay with him because he doesn’t let go of my hand, and I’m not one bit mad about that.
We end up changing, with me removing the tape off my ankles while having several conversations at once with other rodeo cowboys. Some even express their happiness to know we’re a couple, but most just want to fanboy over Jamieson and offer their sincere wishes for a great national final.
And I couldn’t be happier about that.
He’s still chatting with one of the bull riders when my frequent bullfighting partner, Mitchell, plops into the seat beside me.
“So…it finally happened, did it?” Mitchell grins and my answering smile is probably all he needs for confirmation.
“Yeah. It hasn’t been a secret. It was after I broke my arm, but I didn’t think he’d kiss me in the ring like that.”
“I knew something was changing when he was waiting for you at the hospital. Call it a hunch.”
“I didn’t know you were at the hospital.”
“I brought Jamieson food, because I knew he’d be hungry. He was…more upset than seemed normal for a broken arm, and when I asked him if he was okay, he said he would be when he could hold you again. Not usually something a friend might say. ”
I don’t know what to say to Mitchell as he slaps me on the shoulder. “I’m thrilled for you, Griff. I like Jamieson, and I hope this answers questions you never found the answers to.”
Mitchell is far more observant than I’ve ever given him credit for.
“Thanks. I’ll still be around. You won’t be losing me as a partner forever, maybe just sometimes.”
He grins back. “I like the sound of that.” With another slap on my shoulder, he says goodbye and heads out.
“Hey, we should go find your dad, right? Isn’t the shuttle coming for him soon?”
Glancing at my phone, I’m shocked at the time and throw my things in my bag quickly. “Yeah, thirty minutes. Riley said he’d wait with him.”
Jamieson and I speed walk around to the stands and find everyone still waiting for us. Jamieson’s family is the first to congratulate him, and his sister gives me a punch to the shoulder with a firm nod. That’s Kara language for ‘ good job protecting my brother .’
“Dad, did you have fun? Jamieson did great, didn’t he?”
“It was a lot of fun, Griff. You did great, too.”
“I don’t really do much most of the time.”
My dad looks at me with an expression I’m not familiar with. “You keep them safe, Griff. That’s a lot. Maybe it’s only one bull a night that gives you trouble, but without you, those riders might not be so confident if they didn’t know a guy like you was out there to save their butts.”
“I’ve never thought of it like that. ”
“You should. You do more than just stand around in the sand, son. I’m proud of you. Thank you for giving me a chance to see you like this.”
Dad’s eyes shine with unshed tears, and I feel like in the brief time he’s been active in my life again, he’s seen more than anyone ever has. Which is doing all kinds of things to how I’m feeling.
“You’re welcome. I hope it’s not the last time you’ll watch me.”
Jamieson interrupts and slings his arm over my shoulder while offering his hand to my dad. “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Shepard.”
“You had one hell of a ride, Jamieson. And I told you, call me Charlie.” Dad shakes Jamie’s hand, and Jamie’s arm around me relaxes.
“Thank you, sir. I couldn’t have done it without Griff.”
I don’t know what to do with that. Jamieson is a talented rider by his own merit. I didn’t force him to practice or do his strength training. That’s all on him. Thankfully, nobody waits for me to reply to that, and Dad says his goodbyes to his new group of friends while we walk him to the entrance to wait for his shuttle.
“Uh, so, Dad there’s something I have to talk to you about.” I glance at Jamie, and he nods. “Have you thought about what you’d like to do after the rehab program finishes?”
Dad stuffs his hands in the pockets of his too-big overalls and stares at his feet. “I’ve thought about it, yes. But I don’t know what to do about it. Miles said I should attend meetings and keep up with my therapy at the centre, but I’d have to move here, and I don’t know if I can find a place I can afford with my pension.”
“I’ve thought about that a lot, too, Dad. ”
He raises his gaze to mine, and while I wish he’d made better choices, I’m also grateful I never gave up on him.
“Would you let me help you again?”
His lips press into a tight line, and I brace myself for an outburst of anger.
“It’s not easy for me to admit that I need my child to help me out of the spot I’m in.” His voice cracks, and Jamie reaches out to him before I do.
“Your child has helped many people, Charlie.” He takes my dad into a hug like he’s an old friend, and I swallow the growing lump in my throat. “We want to help you.”
Dad releases Jamieson and finds a tissue to dab at his eyes.
“I’m listening.”
“I’m moving in with Jamieson soon.”
“Really? That’s wonderful!” Even in the middle of all his problems, he still finds a genuine smile for my news, and that’s the bit of Dad I used to know. That’s the dad I want more of. To have him watch the birds and flowers and kids throwing baseballs at the park down the street. To find some of the joy he had when I was small.
“Thanks, Dad. Um…we have a house and there’s a suite in the basement.”
“You’ll have a private entrance,” Jamieson adds.
“We’re renovating it, and we’d like you to move in there.”
My dad stays silent for so long I’m concerned he had a stroke standing up and perhaps forgot to speak. “Dad?”
“You want me to live with you?”
“I’d like you to sell the trailer and have you live here, yes. We’ll make it work with your pension, so it’s not you taking advantage if that’s a worry. I want to help you through this part, Dad. I miss you, and I don’t want you to be alone.” God, the tears are hot on my face as my dad pulls me to him, probably rougher than he meant to. We both stumble, and Jamie’s hand on my waist stops me from tumbling over.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve a kid as good as you, but right now, I’m thankful you’re mine. I love you, Griffy. Thank you.”
Dad sobs into my shirt as the shuttle pulls up, and then he turns to Jamieson while he wipes at his eyes.
“Thank you. I don’t know what else to say right now because I need to unscramble my head and thoughts.”
“We have lots of time to talk, Charlie. You just take care of yourself first.”
Jamieson steps back and lets me have a private moment with Dad before he leaves.
“Dad…I’ll come by next Sunday and we’ll talk more, but tonight is one of the best nights of my life. Just know that I’m beyond happy to do this and so is Jamieson, okay?”
“Don’t worry about me, Griff. Go enjoy this night. You both deserve it.”
Dad steps away and into the van without prolonging the goodbye, and I’m left watching the taillights disappear for a moment before Jamie’s arms wrap around me from behind.
“Are you up for celebrating, or would you rather just have some quiet time at home?”
“You want to sing, don’t you?” I chuckle.
“More than I think you know.”
“Then let’s go sing.”