Chapter 6
Chapter Six
It took half a ring for Willa to connect. “Quiet,” she snapped, her voice nowhere near the receiver. “It’s her.”
“Willa?” Finlay called.
Air whooshed, and then her friend’s voice was right in her ear. “Are you okay? Where’d you go?”
“I’m fine. I promise.”
“Well, thank God for that. Where are you? I’ll come get you.”
“No. I’m fine right where I am. I just wanted to check in, let you know I’m okay. What’s going on over there?”
“Your ex—and I sincerely hope he’s your ex—took off with his mommy. The coward got his feelings hurt when your dad and I ripped him a new asshole while his ex kept trying to claim her moral high ground—”
“Excuse me? That little girl has to be four years old. Why did she only tell Matt about her three months ago?”
“Oh, you left before that one, huh? She said she didn’t tell him because she wanted to live in North Carolina. She wanted the help of her family, and she knew Matt would never leave Calamity. Can you believe it? Exactly what moral high ground are we talking about?”
“I can’t even imagine what this has been like for him.”
“Wait a minute. Fee, are you still going to marry him after all this?”
“No, I can’t. If he can keep a secret that big, then I’ll never trust him again.” She could never look into his eyes and see anything but shadows.
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. I know this sucks, but we’re going to turn this whole situation around.”
Her friend had no idea what hearing we meant to her. “I’d love to hear how because, right now, my brain is closed for business.”
“Don’t worry about a thing. I’m going to borrow my dad’s car and come get you. We’ll go on the honeymoon together. I only packed for winter in Calamity, but I can buy everything I need on the island.”
For the first time that day—or really, who knew how long?— tears brimmed, and she blinked them away. “You’re the best friend in the world.”
“Yeah, yeah. You can tell me all about it while we’re sipping pretty cocktails by the ocean. For now, send me your flight details, and I’ll try to get on the same one.”
“No.” As tempting as it sounded to spend a week with her best friend, she couldn’t do it.
“What do you mean, ‘no?’ You can’t stay here. You just ran away from the town’s golden boy. It’s all everyone’s going to talk about. Come on. We’ll get out of here, let the scandal die down, and give you some time to figure things out.”
“I love you, Willa. In every way other than DNA, you’re my sister. And because of that, I’m not letting you take more time off work. If you bail on this case, you’ll lose your shot at making partner. You’ve worked too hard for it.”
There was a tiny pause. “I don’t give a damn about that right now.”
But it was enough to confirm what Finlay already knew. “You know what? I believe you. I believe you’d blow up your career for me, but I’m not going to let you do that. I promise, I’m going to be just fine.”
“I don’t know how. You were one minute away from marrying the love of your life.”
She shot to her feet as if a spark hit her back.
Those four words rang through her. Love of your life.
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
There was so much tied into marrying Matt. They shared the same vision of a house on Bloom Lane, a bunch of kids, a dog.
The annual traditions of pumpkin patches and chopping down Christmas trees.
Waiting for the bus every morning, along with all the other families on the block.
Matt was her partner in making her dreams come true. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this.” Tears came back in a rush, and she got all hot and sweaty. “But he’s not.”
“You’re killing me here,” Willa whispered. “Not what, sweetie?”
“He’s not the love of my life.” She paced to the bay window, barely seeing the forest, because at that moment, the fog in her mind cleared, bringing sorrow—fear—into high relief. She crossed an arm over her stomach when she realized losing Matt wasn’t what she was sad about.
She was thirty years old, and giving him up meant she might never live her dream. It’d be years before she’d find someone to love again. Even more time before she’d have a child.
So much for a house full of kids.
Despair slid into her bloodstream. But she wouldn’t tell Willa any of it, because if she did, her friend would stay in Calamity to support her. All her hard work to get on the partner track would go out the window.
“To be honest,” Willa said, “I think most people get married because they’re ready. And that means they only have the pool of people around them at that moment in time to choose from. I don’t think it’s about finding the love of your life.”
“You’re probably right about that.” She needed to burn her vision board, forget some stupid, self-imposed timeline, and focus on how damn lucky she was to be a teacher and have good friends and decent parents.
“Putting aside my job for the time being, what do you want to do?” Willa asked. “Just tell me, and I’ll make it happen.”
Cody raced over to her, eyes bright and grinning. “I got a bike. Come look, Miss O’Neill. It’s so cool.”
Finlay held the phone away from her mouth. “Yay! I can’t wait to see it.”
“Mister’s gonna take those big trucks out of the garage so I have room to ride. You have to come watch.”
“Who’s that?” Willa asked. “Where are you?”
“That’s Cody.” She spoke with the intention of letting her friend know she couldn’t give any details.
“Come on, Miss O’Neill. Watch me ride.”
Jude’s tall, dark, and imposing form blocked the doorway to the kitchen. With his legs braced apart like that, his biceps bulging, and his hair tousled and shiny, she wanted to climb him like a tree.
“Let’s go,” he said to Cody in a commanding tone no one would ignore.
“Miss O’Neill will join us when she’s off the phone.
” When Cody did little more than inch closer to her, Jude frowned.
A little crease formed between his eyes, and she knew he was trying to figure out what to do.
“Remember, I told you my brothers are coming over? We’ll all ride together. ”
The boy’s eyes widened in alarm. “Are you gonna ride, too, Miss O’Neill? You’re not gonna leave me, are you?”
Her decision was made. “No, Cody. I’m not leaving you. Not tonight.” She glanced at Jude to see if that was all right, but his expression, of course, revealed nothing.
But this wasn’t about him. It was about Cody feeling safe.
Nothing else mattered. “Hey, Wills? I have to go.”
“You’re seriously getting off the phone?” her friend asked.
“I am.” She had a little boy depending on her for his well-being.
“I don’t understand any of this.”
“I know, and I promise to explain tomorrow. But for tonight, I’m going to stay at a friend’s house.”
“Blink twice if you’ve been kidnapped.”
Finlay smiled. “I promise you, I’m fine.”
Willa sighed. “Let the record show, I’m opposed to this action. But just so we’re clear, I’m coming to pick you up tomorrow, and we’re either going to get drunk or make a whole new vision board.”
“Your flight leaves in the morning, remember?”
“Yeah, well,” Willa said. “I’m changing it to Monday.” And with that pronouncement, she ended the call.
Finlay stared up at the ceiling, hands overlapped on her chest like a body in a casket.
Which was fitting because part of her died when she’d run from the church. A whole life she’d once wished for with her every breath.
Once, in eleventh grade, Willa asked how she could have such a huge crush on Jude when he so clearly didn’t fit her type. It was a good question then, and an even more important one now. She’d just run from the town’s golden boy and jumped onto the back of the bad boy’s bike.
Maybe it was as simple as knowing she couldn’t have him. That he didn’t want a relationship or have any interest in settling down with a woman and a lawn mower.
The confusion had ended when he’d left town, and she could get back to manifesting her dream man.
Matt was everything she’d ever wanted. He was handsome, clean-cut, and polite. He had a big group of friends, so they were always socializing and vacationing in big groups. It was fun.
But boy, had she gotten it all wrong.
It was a different kind of dark out there in the forest, so she’d left the curtains open. Milky moonlight cut through the trees and painted stripes on the walls.
The quiet was haunting.
She strained to hear voices, a faucet running…anything that let her know she wasn’t alone in this big, unfamiliar house.
Imagine what it’s like for Cody.
He was in the room right next door to hers, and she’d lain in bed with him till he’d fallen asleep. She’d been checking on him every hour, but now, he was out cold.
She wished she could stay with him, but she couldn’t.
She had to pick up the pieces of her life.
A light knock had her jolting up. “Yes?”
“It’s me.”
Jude. Hearing that deep, rugged voice in the darkness awakened something wicked in her. Cut that out.
It’s not like that.
It’ll never be like that.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
She sat up, tugging the fabric of the huge T-shirt Gunnar had loaned her so it didn’t cling to her breasts. “Of course.”
When he opened the door, a sliver of yellow light from the hallway cut into the room. Folding his arms across his chest, he leaned against the threshold. “You want to keep it down in here?”
“What?” She sat all the way up and flicked on the lamp. “What’re you talking about?”
“I could hear you thinking from down the hall.”
“Oh.” She smiled. “Sorry to keep you up.”
“You want to yap to someone who won’t give you advice?”
Yes. That’s exactly what I want. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
He pushed off and entered her room. “Anywhere you want. I won’t even be listening.” He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and waved it at her. “Call of Duty.”
She laughed. “Fine. Twist my arm.”
He sat on the mattress and placed his elbows on his knees, pretending to stare at his phone. But while the game played on his screen, he never tapped the keys.