Josh
I have to admit, this charity event is actually quite fun. There’s kids running about everywhere, screaming happily as they bounce on the trampolines and play the fair games that the stadium hired out for today. The smell of hot dogs and cotton candy makes my mouth water.
It brings me back to the time my mom brought me and my sister to this travelling fair that stopped in our town one summer.
We went early in the morning, before the crowds appeared and stayed until the gates closed late that night.
It’s one of those memories I always think about when I need a mood boost. Lately, it hasn't been working like it used to but being here now, a kaleidoscope of memories are spinning through my mind and I feel a deep sense of calm for the first time in months.
A sweet, bubbling laugh brings me out of my head.
A sound I haven’t heard in a long time. My eyes instantly find Olivia, who's deep in conversation with Matthews and Knight. Her cheeks have a slight pink tint and her eyes have the brightness back in them. The sight of her is breathtaking. She’s so goddamn beautiful.
When her baby blue eyes meet mine, her face heats more but the smile she aims in my direction almost makes me crumble. I haven't seen her smile in so long, I had almost forgotten how mesmerizing it is.
Olivia says one last thing to my teammates before stepping towards me. Is she gonna speak to me? My palms feel sweaty and the pulse in my neck quickens. Why am I so nervous? Just act normal you dick!
She stops before me, a shy smile brushing her lips. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I want to touch her. To run my fingers over the pout in her lower lip. To feel the smoothness of her bare skin against my hands.
“Can we talk?” She asks in a small voice.
I say ‘yes’ far too eagerly but I don’t give a shit. The giggle that slips past her lips is like music to my ears.
“In private? I can come over later,” she pauses, “if that’s okay?” If Olivia wants to come to my apartment, she doesn't need permission. If she wanted to break in when I'm not there and snoop through every inch of the place, I wouldn't even bat an eye. That's how far gone I still am for this woman.
“That’s more than okay.” I have no idea what she wants to talk about and I don’t care. I would do anything to get this girl alone in a room with me, actually talking to me. It’s been far too long.
“Okay.” She beams at me and the hard edges that have formed around my heart the last few months start to fall away.
“Okay.”
By the time I get back to my building, it’s well after 7pm. Olivia and I never agreed on a time but I didn’t think I would be out this late. Panic shoots through me as the elevator rises to my floor. What if she came and left? What if she’s changed her mind? Why didn’t I just call her?
I stop short when I see Olivia sitting on the ground beside my apartment door, laptop open in front of her crossed legs and earphones in both ears.
She’s so engrossed in her work that she doesn’t even see me as I approach her.
I stop for a moment to take her in. To study her.
The frown that was etched deep into her face for the last few months has now smoothed out, her eyes now resemble the water in the Maldives rather than a storm cloud.
She’s beautiful and radiant. Even her energy has shifted since I last saw her.
She seems lighter now and more care free.
I say her name but get no response. It isn't until I tap her with my foot that her head snaps up to mine and she pulls the earphones out of her ears so quickly I barely see it happen.
“You scared me.” She says, hand resting over her chest.
“I’m sorry.” I laugh, “I did call your name.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, Ollie. I did.” Her eyes soften at the use of the name I always called her.
I offer my hand to her and she takes it willingly so I can help her off the floor.
I unlock my apartment door as Olivia gathers her laptop and phone off the floor.
“I’m sorry I took so long. Coach had us on cleanup duty. ”
“It’s okay. I wasn’t waiting for long.” She lies but I don’t question it.
Olivia goes straight to the couch and the sight of her there is so familiar.
It feels good to have her back in here again.
It’s hard to think about the last time she sat on this couch, tears streaming down her pale cheeks, telling me she didn't want to be with me anymore. It’s an unsettling reminder that she’s here to talk about something and suddenly the nerves rush back.
“Can I get you anything to drink? Have you had dinner?”
“I’m good.” Is all she says in response so I make my way across the room and join her on the couch. Olivia won’t stop fidgeting with her hands, a sign that she’s as nervous as I am. Her breathing quickens as she gathers the courage to speak. “I’m sorry.” She stutters out, apologizing for no reason.
“It’s okay.” I tell her, attempting to take her hand in mine and surprisingly, she lets me. The second our hands meet, it’s like an electric current rushes through my veins. It’s powerful and overwhelming and I know she feels it too with the small gasp she lets out.
“I was gonna come in with a whole big speech and explanation but I think I should just tell you now, you know, rip the band-aid off.” She breathes out a heavy sigh and I watch her, expectantly.
Her hands quake in my grasp and I wait with bated breath for what she’s about to say.
“Fuck okay.” She shakes her head a little, attempting the clear her racing thoughts.
“Josh” She looks deep into my eyes, worry lines creasing her face. “I’m pregnant.”