CHAPTER NINETEEN
Zane
Can’t say I didn’t see that reaction coming.
I was prepared for it. It’s why I dressed for the occasion, knowing I was going to be chasing after her one way or another.
You’d think I’d love the thrill of the chase being a competitive man, but Blair and I are way past that, and I’m thankful she chose down.
I’d rather chase her toward her car than wander around for hours with no idea how far she’s willing to go.
She picks up speed and I huff out a laugh. This isn’t going to be fun. But I’m committed now.
“Blair, wait.” I jog to catch up to her, chuckling again when she huffs adorably. “Jenna’s worried about you and—”
She stops abruptly, whipping around to face me, and I almost run into her. “You admit it then? You admit this is a setup.”
I wince, a hint of regret plaguing me. But again…I’m committed. “Do you think I’m here for a casual stroll?”
“I don’t know. A little part of me was hoping the whole team was here for a bonding session. Any reason but the truth.”
“Sorry.” I raise my hands in a “what are you going to do” motion, further pissing her off. “I’ve only got the truth.”
“Sometimes I wish people would lie more.”
“No, you don’t.”
“There you go again, acting as if you know me. Why are you here?” With her arms folded over her chest, she stares at me deadpan, and I pause, waiting for her to start tapping her foot, because I feel like it’s coming.
“Well?” She taps her foot twice and I hold back a laugh because now is clearly not the time.
“I told you. I’m here for you. Jenna’s worried about you. She used the word ‘moping’ multiple times.”
“I’m not moping.” She forces a smile but it’s obviously fake, and I believe Jenna more than I had previously.
“Blair—”
“No.” She shakes her head, backing away. “God, this makes me so mad.” She rakes a hand through her wild curls, and I follow the movement until she groans under her breath. “How did I miss it? So what? You decided to exchange numbers while I was in the bathroom at your hotel?”
“No.”
“Was it really about me? Or did you want to fuc— Wait.” Her brows furrow as her gaze shifts to mine. “No?”
“No.” I smirk, not at all annoyed about the jealousy in her tone. “We didn’t exchange numbers back then.”
“Jesus. Did she steal your number from my phone?” Blair turns away, lost in thought while my smile widens. “That’s so unlike her. I think. I mean, I don’t really know her that well and—”
“She didn’t steal my number, B. But that leads to something much more interesting… You still have my number?” I bounce my eyebrows, and the cutest little groan escapes her.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s only because I forgot to delete it. I’ve blocked you, you know?”
“I do. You can’t get anything past me.”
“God, you are so infuriating. Why are you here? And how are you and Jenna in contact if you didn’t exchange numbers?”
“Carrier pigeon,” I deadpan and the second the words leave my mouth, I lean back, putting some space between us, prepared to dodge a strike.
That wasn’t the best thing to say. But if she’s mad at me, at least she’s feeling something.
And from what Jenna told me, she’s been out of it for days, walking around like a zombie.
“Fuck you, Zane,” Blair snaps, racing forward to poke me in the chest. “If you can’t take this seriously, I’m leaving.”
She turns again, but she’s slow to walk away. She doesn’t want to go. And while I could use that to my advantage, instead, I do as she asked.
“I’m sorry, B. I’m only here because Jenna thought you might need a friend.” And I missed you.
“She’s my friend.” She turns back to face me.
“Someone you’ve known for longer than five minutes.”
“Ugh.” She sighs. “Why would she possibly think that someone should be you? You don’t know me anymore than she does. I’m not the girl I was back then. I’m not even sure you’d call us friends.”
Jesus. That stings. Though she’s not wrong. If someone had asked me a few months back if I was still friends with Blair, I would have said no. But that was for my own sanity more than anything else.
“How did Jenna get your number?”
“She didn’t. I got hers.”
“How?” She stares at me in confusion before seemingly shaking off her thoughts. “Why?”
“She’s working with the girlfriend of my teammate. They’re on a TV show together.”
“She’s working with Hayley?”
“You know Hayley?” My brows furrow.
“No, but I remember her from the hospital.”
“Of course. Well, yeah. They’re starring together and somehow figured out they both knew me.”
“And the why?”
“I don’t know, B. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since—” I cut myself off when two guys stop within earshot, both of them staring my way as they hover.
Blair frowns until she follows my gaze, releasing a huff. “Yes, he’s that football player.” She shoots them a glare. “And no, you can’t take a photo with him.”
“Woah, B.” My eyes widen, impressed, as the guys walk away, mumbling not so quietly under their breaths. I mostly ignore them until their words register.
“The fuck did you say?” I step forward, ready to go after them until something, or more specifically someone, stops me.
The guys laugh, elbowing each other. “I said you need to control your mutt.”
That’s what I thought. Little fucker. “Who the hell do you think you are?” Blair tightens her hold on my tee but it’s not enough to stop me, and when I break free, I feel her behind me as she wraps her arms around my waist.
“Oh, sorry, man, looks like she’s controlling you.”
“Motherfucker.” I grab Blair’s hands to break free but she locks her fingers together, holding on for dear life.
“Leave it, Zane. Please.” She tries to keep her tone even but her pitch rises at the end.
“Fine.” I give in, deflating in her hold. “You can let go now.”
“Nope. Not until they leave.”
Standing her ground, she waits, her hold on me locked tight while the guys laugh.
If I cared at all about the world’s perception of me, I’d probably feel emasculated, but instead, I smile along with them. This isn’t a bad place to be.
However, I know how to get her to stop.
“Feel free to lower your hands a little, B,” I taunt, desperate to get another little rise out of her. “If we’re going to be stuck like this, why not be productive?”
“Zane!” she squeals and, just as expected, jumps back, releasing me so fast you’d think she’d been burned. “You can’t say that.”
“I meant you could scratch an itch for me. What were you thinking?”
“That you’re an asshole.”
“An asshole that you care about.”
“I don’t.”
“You don’t? Then why not let me go after those fuckers?”
“Because it’s my fault they got annoyed.” Her expression drops, along with her shoulders. “I’m sorry I did that. I shouldn’t have said anything. You’ve got your reputation to uphold and—”
“What the fuck? You have nothing to be sorry about. Something like that isn’t going to ruin my reputation. I’ve done way worse, and even if I hadn’t, it’s not on you to hold back because of me.”
“Still, I—”
“No, those guys were assholes. And what they said…”
“It’s just words. And those words affect me less than you going after them affects you.”
“Not true. At all. Has Nathan made you—”
“No. It’s not that.” She stares at me confidently, but I don’t miss the way her voice softens. She’s lying.
“You deserve better,” I tell her, instead of specifically accusing that asshole of being a dick. And then, to save myself an angry retort, I move on. “Question, though… What does ‘that football player’ mean?”
“Huh?”
“You said ‘yes, he’s that football player.’”
“Oh, ah. I meant nothing by it.”
I bite back a smirk, letting her off the hook, happy in the knowledge that she’s been keeping track of me. “Whatever you say, Little B. But now that’s out of the way, are we going up or down?”
“Up.” She smiles, pointing toward the peak of the mountain while I groan. Not the response I was hoping for.
“Up it is.” Grabbing a stick, I take a few steps before realizing I’m alone, a laugh bursting out of me.
I spin around to find her on her way down, flipping me off in a move she seems to have mastered.
And honestly, it makes my cock twitch. “You wound me, B,” I call out, jogging once again to catch up with her.
“I thought we were getting along.” I chuckle to myself until she stops, hitting me with a pleading gaze.
Her eyes close as she sucks in a breath, and when they open again, there’s an emptiness there that breaks me.
“I get that this is some big joke to you. But seeing you again is tearing me apart.”
“Blair—”
“No, wait.” She raises a hand between us, and I pause, my stomach in knots.
This isn’t a joke to me. At all. But I can’t seem to stay the fuck away from her now that I’ve seen her again.
She’s like my old Blair but different, and just like back then, I want to get to know every part of her.
She’s always had a power over me, and time hasn’t taken that away from her.
“Before you say anything, before you act like we didn’t go our separate ways for a reason, I need you to listen to me. ”
“I can do that.”
“Good.” She pauses, smiling at a family that walks past, her expression friendly until they’re gone. “I know why you left. I’m not disputing that and I don’t blame you for it. But I’ve spent years picking up the pieces of not only my own shattered life but your parents’ too.”
What?
“They needed someone to make sense of it all.” She answers my unspoken question. “And I was the one they chose.”
Fuck, my chest burns as I almost want to rub away the pain. “That’s… I… They shouldn’t have done that. That wasn’t your burden to bear.”
“What was I supposed to do? Ignore them, like you did?”
Her words cut me like a razor blade but I don’t let her see it. This isn’t about me. This is about what she went through. Though I’m shocked she thinks that way. I thought she knew me better than that.
“I’m sorry, you’re right,” I say instead of telling her how often I called them. How much I cared. She doesn’t want to hear that right now. She wants to hear that I was wrong. That her efforts were just. “I should have been there for them. That responsibility shouldn’t have fallen to you.”
“It’s too late for that now. But I appreciate the apology.”
“Must be a rarity for you.”
“What?”
Dammit, Zane. Why can’t I ever keep my mouth shut? “Nothing.” I smile. “Again, I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t nothing.”
“Fine, don’t hate me, but I was referring to the fact that your golden boy never does anything wrong. In his eyes anyway. I can’t imagine he apologizes much.”
Blair shakes her head, but instead of snapping back at me like I expect, she laughs. She laughs so hysterically that people start to stare. “God, this is so fucked up.” She almost yells the last part and groans out loud, burying her face in her hands. “I—”
“B,” I whisper-yell, my eyes shooting to another family walking past. “I’m sorry. It’s been a tough month for her and—”
“Oh, God.” Blair drops her hands, and her face pales. “Oh, God. Oh, God.”
“Not making it better,” I say under my breath.
“I’m sorry,” she blurts as the family moves on. “So sorry,” she calls after them, sincerely worried, but before she can say any more, I cover her mouth with my hand.
“The damage is done, B. Relax.”
Blair’s eyes narrow and I instantly regret my choice of words. Of all the things I’ve said today, this is the one I’ll be killed for.
Covering my hand with her own, she bites down on my flesh before shoving me away. “Relax?” She repeats my word back to me and I cringe.
“B—”
“No.” She deflates, the fight gone. “I want to go home.”
“Let me walk you—”
“No. You shouldn’t have come back here. We said our goodbyes years ago. That was supposed to be our ending.”
“But it wasn’t. I kept my promise. I let you live your life. But then you were there and—”
“It’s not fate, Zane. Don’t try and pretend you believe that.”
“I’m not. I just refuse to let you go again.” My own honesty shocks me, but the second I say it, a weight lifts. It almost killed me leaving her seven years ago. I’m not sure I can go through that again. But also…I don’t want to.
“That’s the thing though…” Blair’s gaze softens and she trails off, releasing a slow breath. “You don’t have me, Zane. There’s nothing to let go of.”
I hiss, her words piercing my chest as my own fight leaves me.
Why does that hurt so much?