CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
Zane
Ihear the courtroom fill behind me as I stare down at the table, the cuffs biting into my wrists, the spectacle a joke, as if I’d actually try to hurt anyone.
We all rise when the judge enters, and it’s only then that I glance back to see who’s watching, and my breath catches in my throat.
My eyes widen as they pass over Reed, Hayley, Keeley and D’Angelo. Emotion clogs my throat when I see Tim, Florence, and Cade. My aunt’s there too, along with her second husband, neither of whom I’ve seen since they had a falling-out with my mom.
They’re all here. For me. Smiling my way. Trying to reassure me that it’s all going to be okay. When I’m not so convinced that it is.
My chest warms in gratitude, but it’s Blair’s forced grin that has me struggling for air.
She’s working hard to hide her concern, but she’s never been good at faking emotion, at least not with me.
She smiles wider when our eyes meet, and I force one of my own, my gaze sympathetic, hoping to convey how sorry I am. For all that I’ve done.
Simon lightly taps my arm, and my stomach knots as I turn back to the judge seconds before he speaks. “Please be seated.”
I shiver as I sit, my body numb, his words signaling what could be the beginning of the end for me, while my concern lingers on Blair and everyone else I’m dragging down with me—her parents, my teammates.
I’ve brought enough controversy to the team. Yet here they are, supporting me.
Showing up like I should have been doing for them.
Since I’m first up for this session, the judge launches into it, filling me in on the charges, his course of action exactly as Simon said it would be.
I speak when I’m spoken to, nod in acknowledgment, and wait for the worst to come.
The room falls silent except for the incessant buzzing of a broken light above me. The sound irks me as I nervously bounce my leg. Someone sniffs and it’s like a chain wraps around my heart, squeezing the organ until it hurts. Was that Blair? Is she crying?
The judge taps his nail on the papers in front of him, and his eyes lift to meet the room.
But instead of asking the prosecutor if she has any reason to deny my bail, like I expect him to, he skips ahead, announcing his decision.
“After considering the evidence presented to me last night and the new information I received as I was walking in this morning, the Court finds that there is insufficient probable cause to proceed with this case. This case is dismissed with prejudice.”
My jaw drops as my heart seizes. What the fuck just happened? He’s dismissing the case? I twist in my seat to find Blair, her expression much the same as mine, only she’s crying with what I assume to be happy tears falling from her eyes.
The judge says something else, and then Simon’s talking, but I can’t hear anything over the ringing in my ears.
It’s over.
At least, this issue is.
There’s so much more to come.
The next thirty minutes are a blur as I’m released, and it’s only when I’m standing face to face with my family and friends that I finally take in a solid breath.
“I’m sorry you wasted your time,” I say almost robotically, forcing another smile, making that number ten for the day. “I bet that wasn’t half as interesting as you thought it would be.”
Hayley bursts out laughing and Cade chuckles, while everyone else stares at me with concern, except Blair.
I’m not sure what she’s doing because I can’t look at her.
If I do, I’m likely to shatter into a million pieces, and I need to hold my shit together.
“On a serious note, I truly appreciate you all for coming and...” I trail off, my stomach tensing.
“What the hell happened to you?” My eyes lock on Blair’s dad and he winces.
“Would you believe I fell down some stairs?”
“No.” His busted-up face was definitely caused by a fist.
“Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” He smiles uncharacteristically wide and my gaze snaps to Cade’s as he shrugs. Something happened. And I’m going to find out one way or another. They better not have gotten themselves in trouble for me.
When it’s apparent that Tim isn’t giving me anything else, my aunt rushes forward, pulling me into her arms. “I had no idea your parents had abandoned you. I would have reached out. I stupidly assumed she’d turned you against me.”
“It’s okay, Penny. It wasn’t your fault. But please know that—” My breath hitches as my stomach heaves. I can do this. I’ve done it before. Sierra. Sierra. “Sierra and I always missed you,” I rush out. “We should have been the ones to get in touch.”
“God, no. You were kids. That responsibility was ours. We have to pick Charlie up from school”—my cousin—“but can I call you later? Maybe we can catch up for dinner or lunch before you leave?”
“I’d like that. Thanks.”
They head off and then Blair’s mom is the next to come forward.
“I’m sorry too. But I’m sure you’ve got a lot to process, so I’m going to hold my grand speech until later.
We’ll be over at Lucky’s Diner when you’re ready.
I think your friends want to see you.” She gestures to Reed and Hayley waiting not so patiently behind her, like I’ve been gone for years, and they’ve all formed a line to see me.
“Thank you, Mrs. Stevens. I won’t be long.”
“Come on, call me Florence. I think we’re past the Mrs. Stevens stage.”
I nod, but my stomach churns. There’s so much going on and I’m not sure I’m ready for any of it. Florence waves Hayley and Reed forward, and Reed smiles as he approaches, while Hayley’s not so calm, throwing her arms around my neck, squeezing the life out of me.
“Choking here.” I jokingly cough and she pulls back, gasping when she sees my neck.
“Bloody hell. What happened there?”
“A fight with my dad.” I shrug. “Isn’t that why you’re here?”
“Oh, right.” She bites back a smile. “That’s mostly why we’re here.”
“Mostly?”
“We’re giving our statements in person now that Landon’s, you know…” she trails off and I don’t hesitate to fill in the blank.
“Dead?”
“Yeah. How are you doing?”
“Ah, you know… I’m peachy.”
Hayley rolls her eyes while Reed cups my arm, drawing my attention. “You’re not allowed to blame yourself for his death, okay? If it hadn’t played out the way it did, I would have done it myself.”
“While I don’t necessarily believe that, I appreciate you trying to help.”
“You don’t think I’d protect Hayley?” He stands taller, affronted, and Hayley laughs.
“That’s not what I said. You definitely would have protected her; you just would have gone about it in a better way.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Zane—”
“Thank you both for coming,” I cut in. “I haven’t exactly been the greatest friend, but I guess I can promise to try harder.”
It’s obvious Reed wants to say more, to dive deeper, but he’s also the type of guy that knows what his friends need. And since I’m one of those friends, whether I want to be or not, he smiles. “We’d be grateful for you trying at all.”
Hayley giggles, and I have to admit, I feel a little better knowing they’re here for me. But more than that, I trust that they’ll be there for Blair, if and when she needs them.
“Have you seen Keeley and D’Angelo?” I change the subject before Reed gets all mushy. “I want to thank them too.”
“Ahh. I think D’Angelo had to make a call, and Keeley asked the receptionist if they had a spare office. She needs to make a statement.”
“Fuck.” I cringe as dread fills me. I knew the media would be all over this, but didn’t think it would hit so soon. “Do you know which office?”
“I’m pretty sure it was that one.” Reed points toward the door I thought was a janitor’s closet since it looks more weathered than the rest, and I nod my thanks.
“Are you two heading back tonight?” I ask them, despite assuming they are. Why would they stay?
“We’re all heading back. I’m sure D’Angelo will tell you, but there’s a spot for you and Blair. If you want it.”
My eyes flit to where Blair’s talking to her parents, and my chest burns.
“Last week I would have jumped at that offer—anything to get me away from this place. But now… I think I need a little more time. Even just a night. I have seven years of assholery to make up for.”
“And another two years of that when you get back to San Francisco,” Hayley adds, her sassy grin making me laugh as she pats me on the back.
“Hayls,” Reed playfully scolds her.
“What?” She lifts her hands innocently, suppressing her laughter.
“She’s right, Reed. I have to apologize to a few people back home too. Including you.”
“Nah, you’re in the green when it comes to us. Hayley and I will never be able to repay you for coming back to help that night.”
I internally cringe. I don’t want this to become a thing. “How about we call it even and never mention it again?”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yep.”
“Then consider it done.”
“Like it never happened,” Hayley adds, and it takes me a beat to process it all.
That was easy and I almost feel like I’ve been let off the hook despite doing the right thing.
If only the rest of the world could forget it and move on like Reed and Hayley can.
I excuse myself to see Keeley and jump when the door flies open as I’m reaching for the handle.
Keeley gasps when we almost bump into each other, and her cheeks flush a soft shade of pink as she lowers her phone. “Zane? You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Sorry.” I cringe as her gaze darts back over her shoulder before she hastily closes the door. “I just wanted to say thanks.”
“Thanks? What for?” I stare at her deadpan and she laughs. “You’re such an idiot, Zane. After all this time, you still don’t get it. We all care. We’re a family. And nothing you do is going to change that.”
“I bet—”
“Nothing,” she repeats sternly, her eyes boring into mine, imploring me to understand.
I nod, my chest tight. “Thank you. I promise, I’m starting to see it.”
“Good. The next few weeks are going to be trying for you and the team, but we’re going to get through it. Together. One day at a time. And by the end, everyone is going to love you. More than they already do. You know people crave a redemption story.”
The word “story” triggers a jolt to my heart, and my eyes once again seek out Blair. I have no idea where we go from here, but whatever happens, I need to make sure her story has a happy ending. That one day this will all be a memory and she can finally move on.
“Thanks, Keeley. If you ever need anything, I’d love to return the favor.”
“Don’t like being in debt, huh?”
“Definitely not.”
She laughs as we join the rest of the group, and when the conversation moves to the team, I tune them out, my thoughts with Blair as she crosses the street, my chest tight with trepidation.
I’m desperate to speak to her, but at the same time, I’m terrified.
Emotion gets caught in my dry throat and it stings as I swallow, a burning question playing on my mind.
How much more pain can she endure?
How much more can any of them take?