Chapter Twenty-Two
Kytten
TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic representation of self-harm and cutting. If you suffer from any triggers, PLEASE, PLEASE, take extreme caution before reading this chapter. Your mental health is more important to me than my fictional story.
I left the diner shortly after the confrontation with Melissa. Val would be upset with me when she found out. I hated letting Val down. She had done so much for me.
On my way back to the motel, I may have sped a little too fast. When the flashing lights behind me started flickering, and the whoop whoop of the siren told me to pull over, I had no choice but to obey.
Nebraska wasn’t like Vegas. While I loved riding on the straight, flat open roads, it made it hard to outmaneuver the cops when there were no side streets to cut down.
Pulling to the side, I turned off my bike and removed my helmet. I waited for the officer to arrive before I plastered my cute smile to my face.
“License and insurance.”
Ok, that was different. Usually, my smile had them asking how old I was. Or if they ran my plate, asking if the bike was stolen. But this man barely looked at me.
I handed him my papers and waited while he walked back to the car.
Leaning on my bike, waiting for the officer, I thought about what happened at the diner.
First Aspen, then Melissa. I knew I should have stayed away.
But Val asked me to make contact, and I always did what Val asked.
It was the least I could do to repay her for everything she had done for me.
“Miss Robinette, do you have any idea how fast you were going?”
“No, sir.”
“We’re not real particular about speeding on these roads, unless the driver”—he looked at my bike—“is driving recklessly. You were doing almost a hundred. That is reckless in a car, even worse on a bike.”
“I’m sorry, Sheriff,” I apologized as I scratched at my leg. That was all I said. What else was there? I was speeding back to the motel so I could cut my skin open and let the monsters out? That would have me locked up in the looney bin.
“Where are you headed in such a hurry?”
I learned a long time ago that a little truth goes a long way. “Back to the motel. I was upset and not paying attention. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
My size had an impact on people. If the fake happy smile didn’t work, the sad mopey frown did. No one could resist a tiny little woman filled with emotion.
Except maybe this sheriff.
“That’s no excuse, Miss Robinette.”
“Yes, sir.”
He pulled the ticket off the pad and the sound of paper tearing got the monster’s attention. The shame of letting Val down was one thing. But another ticket on my license would have Slyce wanting to take a piece of my ass when I got home.
“I can’t give you a warning with how reckless you were. You can stop by the station tomorrow and pay the fine, or you can send it in not guilty and take your chances.”
“Yes, sir.”
Slyce was always on me about my speed. But it wasn’t my fault. It was the monsters in my head.
You are pathetic.
Didn’t I know it. But I wasn’t making excuses. I couldn’t handle the screaming. I had to let it out and there was only one way to do that.
“Slow it down. This town can’t handle another death right now.”
He walked back to his car, and I wondered what he meant about another death. Was he talking about Rachel? How many deaths had there been?
I drove off slowly, knowing he was watching me. I would have to endure the screaming, which meant when I got back, they would require more than a small cut.
That was the problem with the monsters—they were impatient. If I could feed them when they stirred, it wasn’t so bad. But when they got like this. When the emotions they held back got to be too much for them, they wanted more.
Sometimes more than I had to give.
When I finally pulled up in front of the motel, there was a row of bikes along the side of the building, hidden from the road. It was an area you couldn’t see unless you pulled into the parking lot.
I climbed off my bike as a man walked out of the front office. He wore a cut, but it wasn’t like Cash’s. This one didn’t have the front end of a silver bike with wings on the back.
No, this one had a very familiar patch. A hooded figure with the head of a dog holding a scythe.
Death Dogs.
FUCK!
The monsters would have to wait. I just told Aspen she was safe.
With my head down, I fiddled with my bike as he walked past me. I could feel his beady eyes on me, but I didn’t look up. The patch on the front of his cut eluded me. I knew he wasn’t the president, or even an officer. And I knew he wasn’t her husband either.
It didn’t matter, though. They didn’t belong here and if they were here, she was in danger. I had to call Val, and then Sypher.
I waited until the man disappeared, then hurried to my room.
Twisting the lock, I stared at it, wondering if it would be strong enough to withstand a heavy boot.
I didn’t think it would, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.
My fingers trembled as I tried to hit the buttons. When she answered, my voice shook.
“Val, we have a problem.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The Death Dogs are in Diamond Creek.”
The phone was silent. I knew she was thinking, but the monsters were screaming, and I needed her to tell me what to do.
“How many?”
“A dozen maybe? When I pulled into the motel, there was a line of bikes. I saw the patch on his back when one of the men came out of the front office.”
“Was it him?”
“No. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t here,” I told her. And she knew that.
“Did he see you?”
“Yea. But I don’t think he knew who I was. I fiddled with my bike as if I hadn’t noticed him.”
“You can’t stay there. Go to the clubhouse.”
I shook my head vehemently. “I can’t. Not yet.”
“Then go to Sypher. Tell him what you saw and he will go to the clubhouse. We need to keep her safe. If he finds her, he will kill her.”
“Should we call Zeus?”
“No. Not unless she says it’s ok. She doesn’t want her family to know where she is either.”
“How did he find her?” I asked, knowing everything we did was hidden so deep it would take another Sypher to find it.
“I don’t know. But we’ll find out.” I could hear her breathing through the line. Could feel the anger and frustration in her voice. “Dammit, I should be there.”
I didn’t say anything. The longer Val stayed away, the longer I still had her. Once she came to Diamond Creek and Amber knew who she was, she would take my place.
Then I would have no one.
Thorne is still out there!
I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS!
My nails dug at my leg as I scratched. They weren’t sharp enough to pierce the skin, but the pressure was still there. The pressure helped. Like a snack to appease the monsters until I could feed them.
“Call Sypher.”
The call ended, and I held the phone in my hand, staring at it. Amber was her focus.
Not me.
Not Irene.
I looked at the bed. Then the bathroom door. Did I have time? I debated between calling Sypher and feeding the monsters. Would a few minutes make that much of a difference?
The screams got louder the longer I warred with myself until I had no choice but to let them out. I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else until I fed them.
I undressed and lay on the bed. My hand ran over my legs as I tried to find a smooth area. They were getting smaller and smaller. I trembled as I realized there was no space left large enough to cut that would appease them.
My hand caressed my belly. I considered the ramifications of piercing the skin there. It wasn’t as tight, so it wouldn’t hurt as much, but would it bleed enough?
There was only one way to find out.
As the blade slid across my skin, I moaned. My eyes closed, and I blew out a breath.
Fuck, that hurts.
I had forgotten the pain. My legs had become numb. The nerve endings had been cut and sliced so many times that all I had was the blood. This new area of my body gave them my pain. It was what they really craved.
I gave them the pain, so I didn’t have to feel it.
My hands dropped to the bed as the blood dripped down my sides. My body relaxed. The trickle moved slowly, but the screams were loud. They took their time letting me know how unhappy they were.
Once the monsters were sated, I fell asleep. I woke up as the sun was setting and I realized I never made it to meet Cash. I grabbed my phone and saw dozens of missed calls and texts.
“Shit.”
I sent him a text telling him I was sorry. And a few seconds later, my phone rang.
“Where the fuck are you?”
“Hello to you too. I am doing fine, how about you?”
“Kytten,” he growled.
“Don’t call me that, asshole.”
His breaths were heavy through the phone, and I closed my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Rosie. When you didn’t show up, I got worried. The women can be a lot, and I don’t want them scaring you off.”
“They are a lot, but they didn’t scare me off. You should meet the women I grew up with. If they didn’t scare me off, no one will.”
I heard him chuckle, and my whole body warmed at the sound. I didn’t talk to him on the phone much. Usually, we met on the mountain.
“I fell asleep and just woke up. I’m sorry you got worried. But I told you I can take care of myself.”
“Can and have to are two separate things, baby.”
I loved it when he called me baby. Almost as much as when he called me Rosie.
“Come to the clubhouse. It’s getting too dark to drive up the mountain.”
“No.”
“I want to see you, Rosie. I want to kiss your lips and finger your pussy.”
My sharp inhale made him laugh. I closed my eyes and let the memory of the orgasms he gave me wash over me.
“Come, Rosie,” he said in a deep voice that almost worked.
“Friday,” I breathed, caught up in the way his words affected me.
“What about Friday?”
“I was invited to the party on Friday. I’ll come then.”
“You’ll come to the clubhouse? So I can introduce you to my brothers?” I nodded, despite knowing he couldn’t see me. “And you’ll stay the night?”
“Cash.”
“I want you in my bed, Rosie.”
I wanted that too. But he didn’t know what was hidden beneath my clothes, and I wasn’t sure how he would react. When he learned who I truly was... all my faults... would he still want me?
“Maybe.”
It was all I could give him. All I had to offer in that moment. I didn’t want to lie to him. Not any more than I already had.
“Ok, Rosie,” he conceded. “I miss you, baby.”
“You saw me this morning.”
“I didn’t get to touch you,” he whined, and I laughed. This man had the ability to make me feel things I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
“Tomorrow,” I said, and his disappointment was hard to miss with the exaggerated sigh he released.
That night I went to bed with a smile on my face.