Chapter 21
Madison strolled along the cobbled path, meandering through the garden.
She plucked the peddles from the flower absentmindedly as her thoughts lingered on Theodore.
It had been practically all day and still, she hadn’t seen him.
Her chest tightened at the thought of him ignoring her.
Glancing to the window, she peered into the dark window as hope sprang up like a weed she just couldn’t kill.
It was more than just wanting to see him, it was a need.
Since she woke, her mind had been on him.
She had been forced to relive each touch and stolen kiss.
The thoughts sent a wave of shivers coursing through her body.
Chewing on her lower lip, she tried to push back the thoughts of the way his tongue grazed over her flesh.
He had tasted her and kissed her in places she didn’t think any man would venture.
Yet, he did. And there was no doubt in her mind, he liked doing it.
The problem plaguing her was the fact she liked it to.
Heat rushed through her as Madison’s gaze shifted from his chamber window to his study. She held her breath wishing it would be his face staring back at her. Yet, there was only darkness.
“Where are ye?” she mumbled. The scullery maid lifted her head to spy over the zucchini. Madison’s chest tightened as she realized she wasn’t as alone as she thought she was. Hoping to find an excuse for not sounding so forlorn, she plucked the first flower she could.
“There ye are, I kent I’d find ye,” she muttered again, hoping her voice was confident and sure.
The scullery maid shrugged and went back to her work, once again ignoring Madison.
It was clear Madison would have to be more careful.
She couldn’t be talking about things so openly, not when it was as if even the walls had ears.
Madison moved quickly along, making a beeline for the corner of the castle.
The second she made the turn, she slowed and let out a heavy sigh.
Her heart pounded from the anxiety. She shouldn’t be thinking of Theodore.
At least not in the way she was, that much was certain.
It wasn’t like he was going to be her actual husband.
They were just pretending after all. So why then, did she feel the prick of regret jabbing at her insides? It wasn’t like he owed her anything.
She played with the flower and once again started pulling the peddles from it. The colorful peddles dropped to her feet and were easily crushed with a single step. It reminded her of how easily Theodore could crush her if he wanted.
An image of Theodore snuggled between her legs flickered through her mind. She gulped the air as she stammered into the wall of the castle crumpling the flower in her hand.
“I’ll meet ye both in the study.”
It was Theodore’s voice that rang through, pulling her back to the present. Her eyes popped open as she stood taller. Every sense was alert and on edge. It was as if a storm was on its way. She didn’t know just how violent it would be, only that it was going to be a bad one.
The moment her eyes met Theodore’s, her breath hitched.
There was a callousness to his gaze that sent an icy finger trailing down her spine.
Madison’s body froze. Something was amiss, she was certain of it.
Doubt and insecurity popped up like weeds, threatening to strangle her happiness and confidence.
She flexed jaw as every nerve flinched. The look in his eyes, she had seen it before.
It was the look of distrust and betrayal.
For every moment he stared at her without a word, she felt the tension mount.
Theodore arched his eyebrow and rolled his shoulders back before making a direct beeline for the doorway.
He didn’t say a word. Madison stood there dumbstruck. There was not even a hint of recognition or desire. It was clear she hadn’t given him every he wanted last night. She had failed him in some regard and now, she was being punished for it.
“Laird MacLeon?” she called to him, only to have Boyd step into her line of sight. Boyd’s face was stern, but also soft.
“Lady Madison,” Boyd said, blocking her at every attempt to catch sight of Theodore. “Good ye’re here. Saves me the trouble of havin’ to track ye down.”
“What’s goin’ on?” she asked as a sinking feeling came over her. She started for the door, if Boyd wasn’t going to talk to her, she’d get answers somewhere else. Boyd was on her, making the same step as she did to block her from gaining entrance to the castle. “What is happenin’?”
“That is nae for me to say,” Boyd answered in a cool, distant fashion.
“Then why did ye need to track me down?” she insisted as she glanced at the study window. The room was as still and quiet as the grave. Her heart pounded violently in her chest as she noticed the servants coming through the doors and setting a trunk down.
A trunk. Her trunk.
“To ensure that when the laird called for ye, I’d ken where ye were. Now that I have ye in sight, we are waitin’ for the laird,” he said as he stood before like a sentinel barring her any entry to the castle.
Madison's throat tightened. "Why? What's happenin'?"
Boyd's expression softened slightly, but he didn't answer.
Terror rippled through her, starting as a small spark but growing with each passing moment. The trunk. Boyd tracking her down. Theodore nowhere to be seen. Something was wrong.
Every fiber of Madison’s body tingled. She moved quickly through the castle, her feet barely touching the cold stone floor.
Each step felt even more unstable and unsure than the last. It wasn’t until she had reached the large oak door that she realized she had forgotten how to breath.
Exhaling, Madison lifted her hand. The rapping of her knuckles on the door rattled through her like a bell through a kirk.
“Come in.”
Madison pulled in a long deep breath before pushing open the door. The sound of the wood moaning mimicked that of her heart. It was as if it spoke the sorrow she couldn’t express herself.
“Laird MacLeon,” she said as she entered.
“Madison,” he answered in a somber tone. “Sit.”
She glanced at the chair placed before his desk and shook her head. “I’ll stand.”
Silence lingered between them and hung like a blade ready to drop. She couldn’t pry her eyes off him as her chest tightened as her stomach flipped. He rolled his eyes as he moved around his desk, clearly keeping some sort of distance between the two of them.
“I take it ye want me to leave,” she muttered. Madison watched Theodore eye twitch.
“Want, nay. I daenae want that.”
“Then why did ye have me things tossed out as if I’m banished from the castle?”
“Because ye are. Ye cannae stay here any longer.”
Confusion flickered through Madison.
“Wait, what? But ye just said ye dinnae want me to leave.”
“Aye,” he answered through gritted teeth. “If had me way…” his fist tightened at his side as he shook the thought from his head. Madison watched him wrestle against the intrusive thoughts. “But it doesnae matter. The truth remains, ye must leave.”
“If this is about last night,” she started. The words scraped off her tongue as she spoke.
“It is, and it’s nae,” he answered before she could continue. She stole a step closer to him, yearning to wrap her arms around him. She was looking for comfort but was only handed barbs and thistles.
“That makes nay sense.”
“I found yer family,” he blurted. Madison froze. She tilted her head as confusion and curiosity flickered through her.
“Come again?” she said, her heart racing.
“Yer family is in a little town nae too far from here. It took only half the day to get there and back. I see nay reason for ye to remain here any longer than ye must. I’ve taken the liberty to have the servants clear yer room.”
Madison glanced to the window as she noticed a carriage pulling around. She stiffened. She wasn’t ready to go. Not yet at least. Last night had changed everything for her. She wasn’t willing to accept that it meant nothing.
“And what if I told ye I wasnae ready to leave?”
“Ye cannae stay here. The council will be expectin’ the date of our weddin’. I swore to give them a date and now I can say it has been called off.”
“What will happen to yer title and lands? Will ye nae be forced to wed another?” she asked. She found the words clogging her throat. Every hair on her neck rose as she hung on every word to come out of his mouth.
“Perhaps. But that shouldnae matter to ye any longer. Ye played yer part well,” Theodore said with no emotion daring to touch his words.
It was as if he had the ability to turn off every emotion he had of her.
“And for that, I will see ye home with coin for yer troubles. Ye certainly did offer me more than I had expected.”
“Did last night mean nothin’ to ye?” she asked, regretting letting the question out the moment she heard it.
Theodore flinched. It wasn’t something anyone but her could have noticed.
His lip twitched at the right corner. Not enough to draw the eye, but like he was biting down the words he wanted to really say.
“Whether it did or nae, is beside the point,” he answered after a moment.
“The agreement was until I found yer family. I found them. Last night was a happy mistake. One, I promise ye will be on me mind for some time. But what happened last night, it cannae happen again. Yer family will want to see ye married without a reputation followin’ ye. ”
“So that’s it? I have nay say in the matter.” Madison’s lips quivered as she fought back tears. It was the sting of rejection jabbing her over and over like a hornet paralyzing its prey.
A sharp knock caused Madison to jolt as if she’d been pinched. Whipping her head about, she watched Boyd enter the room. She pursed her lips into a tight line as he came closer to Theodore. Madison didn’t have to look at him to know Boyd was giving her a sideway glare.
“I ken the way out,” Madison huffed and withdrew her arm from Boyd’s grip.
"See her home safely," Theodore said. His tone was somber and grave, as if he were sending her off to her doom and he knew it.
"Laird, please. Let me stay, just for a few more days."
"Leave us." Theodore's command cut through the air like a blade. "Now, Boyd."
Boyd hesitated only a moment before bowing and slipping out the door, closing it quietly behind him.
Theodore remained behind his desk, his hands braced on the wooden surface. He didn't look at her. Couldn't look at her.
"Ye daenae understand," he said, his voice low and rough.
"Tell me what happens after those days have passed?
Ye'll ask for more. And before ye ken it, ye'll get word yer father has passed, or it'll be yer mother, and then ye'll blame me for keepin' ye here.
" His knuckles went white against the dark wood.
"Nay. I'll nae have yer regrets on me head.
It's why ye must go. Yer life is out there.
Nae stuck on this island to rot away with me. "
"Theo, please—"
"Daenae." The word cracked like a whip. He finally looked up, and the raw pain in his eyes stopped her breath. "Daenae make this harder than it has to be."
Madison took a step toward him. "What if I want to stay? What if—"
"Ye think ye do. Now." Theodore straightened, his expression hardening into something cold and distant. "But ye'll change yer mind. They always do. And I'll nae watch ye grow to hate me for keepin' ye from yer family."
"I wouldnae—"
"Boyd!" Theodore's voice rang out. The door opened immediately—Boyd must have been waiting just outside.
Theodore's gaze finally released hers, looking past her to his cousin.
"Take her back to her family. See that they're compensated for their woes.
And Boyd—" His jaw clenched. "Make certain she arrives safely. "
"Aye, me laird."
“Theo, nay, I want to be with ye,” Madison pleaded as he handed her back to Boyd as if she were nothing but a doll to him.
“Ye cannae. It willnae be right. Ye must go back. Forget about me, lass. Think of this place as nothing but a nightmare ye can finally waken from.”
Madison struggled against Boyd’s strong grip.
“Last night ye told me ye’d do anythin’ for me. Was that just a lie? Is that what ye are now, a liar?” she argued. Theodore lifted his hand causing Boyd and Madison to stop struggling.
“Ask one thing of me, lass and I’ll grant it. But ye cannae ask to stay.”
Madison’s heart ached. This couldn’t be the last time she ever laid eyes on him. The fact that he had found her family was a miracle. But how then could she give up on the man who saved her?
“Ye say I must go back, then I want it to be ye to take me.”