Chapter 56 The Secret Keeper
IMPORTANT NOTE:
Iris's Point Of View
A month has passed.....
I slumped down on the sofa, finally letting my exhausted body rest after such a long, draining day at the office.
The house was so quiet, tulog na si mama. Wala ng ingay kahit konti except for the soft hum of the aircon. But my mind? It felt loud inside.
I still had no idea where Zarya is, at patuloy pa rin akong kinukulit ni Ryan to talk with Zarya's dad. I kept on resisting kahit almost everyday he shows up at my office.
I have nothing to say naman e, I really don't know where she is. Wala pa rin akong idea kung nasaan siya, I don't even know how to talk to her. I wanted to ask her everything I heard sa phone call na 'yon, but I don't know where to start looking for her.
Lately, I still have been feeling this weird sensation all the time, parang may nakatingin sa akin.
Like someone is always nearby, watching wherever I go.
Sometimes I would notice people around me, tumatambay lang or looking my way...
but every time I try to approach them, every time I try to get close to ask or see clearly, bigla silang umaalis agad.
Nawawala na parang bula before I could even speak.
Wala akong proof, or clue. I have nothing to do except to just wonder.
But the strangest part? Even if I felt scared and confused...
somehow, I felt safe. There was no harm, not that I want it.
But I can't explain it talaga. It just didn't make sense.
I was drowning in all these thoughts when the doorbell rang, it was loud totally unexpected in the middle of the night.
"Who would come at this hour??" I asked myself as I stood up slowly.
Ayaw kong tumayo, but I had to check.
I opened the front door and looked out past the gate.
I looked around, and I saw a figure in the darm.
Standing there was Ryan.
When he saw me, his face looked so worried and desperate. "Chiara. We need to talk."
I stepped back, frustration bubbling up inside me. Nandito na naman siya? What could he possibly want now? For sure he would ask about Zarya again, or force me to talk to Raymond.
I turned around, ready to go back inside. But he rang the doorbell again and again, calling my name loudly.
I had no choice. I walked over, I unlocked the gate annoyed and already tired of this.
"Ryan, ano ba? Don't you have any respect for our house? It's late at night." I said, my voice sharp.
"I'm sorry, sorry—please lang, makinig ka muna," he said, catching his breath like he ran all the way here.
"What do you need?" I asked directly, kahit alam ko naman where this conversation is going.
"I need you to come with me."
"If this is about Raymond or Zarya again, I am not going. Actually...kahit anong reason pa. I will not go." I said firmly, I raised my brows at him.
He looked at me, and his voice cracked. "I'm begging you. Please. Sabihin mo nalang kung nasaan siya, Iris. Everyone is desperate of looking for her, this isn't about business anymore Chiara."
"I don't know anything, Ryan! Wala kang makukuha sa akin, I swear. I also wanted to see her, I need to talk to her. And as much as I want to help you, I can't. Kasi wala talaga akong alam, Ry!—"
"Ate Yana is dead." He said while his head was bowed. Sobrang hina ng pagkasabi niya that it made those words even worst to hear.
My knees felt weak, and I stepped back unsteadily, covering my mouth with my hand.
I couldn't believe what he just said, there is no way.
"How... how did it happen?" My voice came out shaking, barely a whisper.
"She died in a car accident, Chi." Ryan said, his voice almost cracked. I can see how he tried not to cry, pero nakikita ko na ang luha sa mata niya.
Everything suddenly clicked, those last words Raymond said to me, the pain in his eyes that I couldn't understand before.
"You know nothing about how painful it is."
Oh God. That's what he meant. He already lost one daughter. Stupid of me for saying that. fuck!
"So that's why..." Tears fell before I could stop them. "Oh my God. Zarya just lost her sister. I can't imagine how much pain she's feeling right now." I looked at Ryan, desperate. "We have to find her. I really don't know where she is, believe me."
"If you really don't know...then tulongan mo nalang kami. This isn't just about Zarya anymore, Iris. You belong here too." Ryan said softly, and looked me in the eye.
I frowned, confused. "What do you mean I belong here? What else is there?" ano ba ang ibig niya sabihin?
Ryan took a deep breath, like it was so hard to say the next words.
"The accident... Ate Yana got into it... with-with your brother."
Everything went blank. Parang tumigil ang pagtakbo ng isip ko. I just stood there, staring at him, unable to move or speak.
I stared at him, my hands shaking so bad I had to grip the gate to stay standing. My mind was spinning so fast, sobrang gulo na talaga ng nangyayari.
"What... what brother, Ryan? How—how did you know na may kapatid ako? How is he even involved here? Bakit? I don't understand." My voice came out cracked, confused, scared all at once.
"Nalaman ko kay Dad. He told me Ate Yana died... and she was with her boyfriend. And that boyfriend is your brother. Sigurado ako, Chi. Narinig ko mismo, he was the son of Eric Valenti." Ryan looked at me, he seemed sad. Parang naawa din siya saakin, but I don't need his pity.
"No... no, Ryan, hindi pwede mangyari 'yan, Impossible." I shook my head, trying to gaslight myself na baka nagkamali lang si Ryan.
How could that be? Yes I know I have a brother, sinabi ni dad when we met before. Pero he left eight years ago, so if he's my brother, he should only be 7 or 8 years old now. He's still a kid! Paano magiging boyfriend siya ni Ate Yana? How does that even make sense?
"Alam kong nagugulohan ka din" Ryan said softly, his voice heavy.
"The situation is worst than what we've imagined.
Pero 'yun ang totoo, Chi. Your father had a son bago pa man siya umalis.
Parang hindi rin ako makapaniwala na nagkita pa sila ni ate Yana, ang lawak ng mundo, pero silang dalawa pa talaga ang pinagtagpo. "
Everything felt like it was falling apart around me. My knees went weak, and I leaned against the cold metal gate to hold myself up.
Younger than me... but old enough? My heart ached so bad it felt like it was tearing.
So my dad was cheating on my mom...bago pa man niya kami iwan.
All this time. For years and years. We've been fooled all along.
And marami pa rin pala talaga akong hinei alam...
so many secrets kept from me my whole life.
"I... I don't get it, Ryan. I really don't..." I swallowed hard, tears already spilling down my cheeks.
"Chi," he said gently, like he was talking to someone who might break any second.
"You really have a brother, at kasama siya ni ate Yana when accident happened.
I know it's impossible to believe right now.
Pero 'yun ang nangyari, Chiara. Please...
try to accept it. Help us. Tulungan mo kami kasi sobrang bigat nito para kay Zarya.
I don't know how to help her... how to carry this with her.
The first thing we need to do is find her.
Please... if you know anything, kahit konti, just tell me. We need to get to her."
I couldn't speak. I just stood there, trembling all over, the words echoing in my head over and over again.
Why does it hurt so much? I never even met him. Hindi ko naman siya kilala. Hindi ko siya nakasama. So why does it feel like I lost someone important?
Why am I crying like I knew him my whole life? Is it because he's family? Dahil pareho kami ng tatay? Or is it because I'm thinking of Zarya right now—how broken she must be, how alone she is, and I'm not even there beside her?
Or maybe... maybe it's just all of it. The lies my dad hid. The betrayal. The fact that I have a brother, and I never got to know him... and now I never will.
Everything felt too heavy...too much to carry all at once. I slid down slowly until I was sitting on the ground, still shaking, still crying, still trying to make sense of a truth that hurt more than anything I'd ever known. And still finding answers I know I couldn't answer.
"...Iris?"
My eyes flew wide open in an instant. Parang binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig, my whole body was awakened.
I sat up straight so fast, clutching the phone tight with both hands. I immediately checked who it was, at nagulat ako when I saw the name.
That voice...it was Xylla.
I'd tried calling and texting Xylla so many times these past weeks, but none of my calls were answered. It felt like she'd blocked me completely. I never thought I'd hear her voice again.
"Xylla? Is that really you? Xy...are you with Zarya? Is she there? Okay lang ba siya? How is she? Where are you?" I asked questions after questions dahil sa excitement of might probably hearing Zarya's voice again.
"She's... she's holding up okay. Yes, magkasama kami. But hindi ko muna masasabi sayo kung nasaan kami. Sobrang complicated kasi ngayon. But I called because there's something important I need to tell you." I heard her take a shaky breath on the other end.
"Why can't you tell me where she is?" I asked, panic starting to creep in. "Everyone's looking for her, Xylla...pati dad niya, we are all worried. I just found out about her sister... about Ate Yana. Is Zarya really okay?"
"I know. It's true, Ate Yana is gone," she said softly, and I could hear how sad she was. "Pero hindi 'yon ang reason bakit akon tumawag. There's something else...hindi ako sigurado if how is this even connected sa'yo."
"Then what is it?" I pressed, leaning forward like I could pull the answer out of the phone. "Tell me, please."
"It's about my dad," she said quietly.
"I thought he was already cleared? Okay na siya, 'di ba? Xylla, I'm not ignoring what you're saying... but right now there are things that feel so much bigger than his case." I frowned, I am confuses bakit siya tatawag because of her dad if I already handled the case for her before?
"No, hindi...my stepdad, Iris," she corrected quickly, her voice getting a little faster. "Tumawag siya saakin. And for some reason... he's been looking for you. Pinapahanap ka niya sa akin, he didn't said anything else."
"Me? Bakit ako?" I asked, totally lost. "I don't even know your stepdad. Paano niya ako makikilala? Why would he need to see me?"
"I really don't know, Iris. Wala talaga akong idea," she said, sounding just as confused as I was. "He just called and said he needs to talk to you. That's all."
"I'm sorry, Xylla, but I don't think I can—"
"He's dying, Iris," she cut me off sharply, and her voice broke completely.
"Please... just do this for me. Puntahan mo siya.
I don't know why he needs you, but please lang...
go to him. Sobrang importante niya saakin, Iris.
He's been a father to me, so please do me a favor.
Puntahan mo siya, and I will take care of Zarya dito para sa'yo. "
I was about to reply when a soft, clear cry came through the phone...the unmistakable sound of a baby??
Bakit may umiiyak na baby doon??
Xylla gasped, she seemed to be panicking. "Ah—uh, send ko nalang adress sa'yo, I...I'll call you later."
The call ended abruptly. Kahit ako nagulat nalang din, why is she acting up like that? That was strangely odd.
But what makes it more strange is why... why would her stepdad be looking for me? I've never even met him. Ano bang connection ko sa kanya? and what could he possibly want from me?
Everything felt tangled and messy, like I was walking blind into something I didn't understand.
A moment later, a new text popped up on my screen.
Just an address, no other messages, or any description kung sino 'yung step-dad niya.
I sat there, staring at the words. Whatever this was... it felt like I couldn't say no.
_____
I stood right outside the gate, just staring at the house number. Honestly, I never planned to come here, didn't even want to, kasi I don't know bakit ba ako pinatawag dito, and it felt like this wasn't really important.
But there was this weird feeling, like someone was whispering for me to go, like something was pulling me forward. I just couldn't bring myself to turn around and leave.
Bahala na.
I rang the doorbell, twice. I waited a few moments, and finally a woman walked out toward me.
"Good morning po. Ano pong kailangan niyo?" she asked softly.
"Good morning po. Is this where Xylla lives?" I asked back.
Her eyes widened right away. "Ay, Ma'am Iris—kayo po ba 'yan?"
I nodded. "Yes, po."
As she unlocked the gate and pulled it open, I looked at her closely.
This must be Xylla's mom, they look so much alike. Her eyes are just as bright as Xylla's, she literally looked like a carbon copy of Xy.
"Pasok po kayo," she said gently, leading me inside. "Wala po dito si Xylla, may trabaho kasi siya ngayon. Upo po muna kayo sa sala."
We headed inside of their house, and we sat down on the simple sofa. Their house looks so comfy, there are photo's of Xy noong bata pa siya. The interior fits perfectly sa ambiance ng bahay.
But a small frame caught my attention. It was a picture of a family of 3, si Xy sa gitna and her mom sa right side. But the man on the left, it's not her father.
I already know the features of her dad kasi ilang beses na kaming nagkita due to his case before. But this man seemed to be really familiar but I really can't tell who he is.
I can vividly remember his face, and he reallt look like someone I know.
Hindi ko nalang pinansin pa, even though I am already bothered.
"Uhm, ano pong gusto niyo? Juice? Tubig? O kape?" she offered, smiling at me.
"No, thank you po," I said. "I'm actually here to talk to Xylla's stepdad."
"Ah oo nga pala, tama," she said, standing up slowly. "Sige po, teka lang po. Sumunod po kayo sa akin. Nasa kwarto kasi siya... hindi na po siya makatayo eh. Kailangan niyo po talagang pumunta doon, pasensya na po ah."
"It's fine po, don't worry," I told her, and just followed her down the hallway.
When we reached the door at the end, she pushed it open and stepped aside. I walked inside, and froze completely.
I was too stunned to even move. My hands flew up to cover my mouth, my eyes went wide, and I felt my knees almost give out.
No way. No way, it can't be him.
Lying weak on the bed was none other than the same attorney who approached me before, the one who encouraged me to study law, the one who seemed so kind and professional back then.
I stared at him, my mind went totally blank. I was so shocked I couldn't even make a sound, just stood there looking at his weak situation, unable to look away.
I took a slow step closer to the bed, my voice coming out soft and shaky. "Attorney...?"
"Mahal, lumabas ka muna." He turned his head weakly toward the door, then spoke quietly.
"Ah sige po. Iiwan ko muna kayong dalawa," his wife said gently. She gave me a small, polite nod before stepping out and closing the door softly behind her.
Now it was just the two of us inside the quiet room. I walked all the way to his bedside, still staring at him like I couldn't believe na ganito na siya ngayon, lying like this.
"Kilala mo pa ba ako?" he asked, his voice raspy and very weak.
"Of course po," I answered quickly, it hurts na makita siyang ganito. "I owe you so much. You gave me my career, everything I have right now. How could I ever forget you?"
"Maupo ka muna," he said, lifting one hand slowly sa upuan beside his bed.
I sat down slowly, my mind still full of so many questions.
"I... I don't understand po," I started, twisting my hands together on my lap. "You are Xylla's stepfather?"
"Oo. Ako nga." He gave a small, sad nod. "Nagtataka ka siguro, no? Bakit ganito lang ang bahay ko, bakit ganito ang sitwasyon ko. "
"Ah... hindi ko rin akalain na magkakilala pala kayo ni Xy. Hindi na ako nahirapan hanapin ka." He paused for a moment, looking at me with eyes that looked so old and tired.
"May kailangan po ba kayo? Is that why you looked for me? Do you need help? Whatever it is, just tell me. I want to make it up to you. I can provide whatever you need, just say it." I leaned forward a little, desperate to understand kung ano ba talaga ang intention niya.
Because this feels like he doesn't wanna talk about everything he did for me.
"Hindi. Pinapunta kita dito hindi para manghingi ng tulong sayo. Hindi mo na ako matutulungan pa, inaantay ko na lang ang oras ko. Pinatawag kita kasi may napaka importanteng bagay kang dapat malaman." He shook his head slowly, a sad little smile on his lips.
My heart skipped a beat. Important? What could it possibly be? What else is there that I don't know?
"Ano po yun?" I asked, my voice shaking. "What is it that I need to know?"
"Ang sinabi mo kanina, na utang mo sa akin ang career mo, at lahat ng meron ka." he said quietly. "Pero ang totoo... wala kang utang sa akin. Ako pa nga ang may utang sayo, Iris."
What is he talking about? Paano naman mangyayari 'yon? How can he owe me? He's the one who helped me, that doesn't make any sense at all.
"Po?" I breathed out. "What do you mean?"
"Hindi ako ang nagpaaral sayo." he said gently but firmly. "Alam kong wala akong karapatang sabihin ito, pero kailangan mong malaman. Hindi ko alam kung may tamang panahon pa ba para marinig mo to, pero kailangan mo talagang malaman. Hindi talaga ako 'yon."
"Po? it was you. I really don't get it. Why did you vanish after I graduated? hinanap po kita." I asked softly.
After I graduated, hinanap ko talaga siya. But I couldn't find him, I didn't even had a chance to say thank you. Bigla na lang siyang nawala.
"Kasi nga hindi naman ako ang dahilan bakit ka nakapagtapos, Iris. Hindi ako totoong abogado, at mahirap lang din ako." He tried to smile, but tears took over.
"If it's not you, then sino?"
_____
FLASHBACK FROM 8 YEARS AGO
NOTE; This flashback is kept short and simple, focusing only on the most important details you need to know right now. The full story, and every quiet choice that was made will be told completely in the chapters ahead. Thanks pepss!
The streetlamps cast soft yellow light over the empty road. Zarya and Kuya Allan sat side by side on the cold bench.
Kuya Allan kept staring at his hands, his shoulders slumped. "Last day ko na bukas, ma'am Zarya. Hindi ko na alam paano ko pa pag-aaralin sa college ang anak ko."
"May anak ka, kuya?" Zarya asked, confused.
"Hindi ko siya anak sa dugo, pero parang anak na ang turing ko sa kaniya." Kuya Allan left out a painful smile.
"Kuya, this is my fault. I know Dad fired you because of me. Hindi ko naman po alam na susunduin niyo ako, gabi na din po kasi." Zarya said, she looked really guilty about what happened.
"Hindi mo kasalanan na nahold-up ka, ma'am. Gusto ka lang din protektahan ng papa mo, at ako 'yung inutusan niya na gawin 'yon. At hindi ko nagawa ng maayos, kaya napahamak ka pa." Kuya allan assured Zarya, sinubukan niya talagang pagaanin ang pakiramdam ng dalaga.
"Still...I shouldn't have gone to the mall. I'm sorry." Zarya apologized out of guilt. "Let me make it right. I'll pay for everything...all of your daughter's expenses. Ako po magbabayad lahat, kuya Allan."
"Hindi pwede. Hindi mo siya responsibilidad. Parang mali naman... ibang tao na ang magpapa aral sa kanya." Kuya Allan immediately shook his head quickly, looking away. Nahihiya sa offer ni Zarya, but also hesitant about it.
"I understand that you're shy, Kuya," she said gently. "But I have no other way to help you."
Kuya Allan just stared at her and smiled, that smile wasn't a yes. Parang akala niya lang nagbibiro si Zarya.
Umayos ng upo si Zarya at tinignan si Kuya Allan. "Ganito na lang po, in exchange... I need you to watch over someone for me. Make sure she's safe, check on her often, and keep her out of trouble. Please? That's all I ask."
Kuya Allan stayed quiet for a long time. He looked at Zarya, then at the dark road ahead. "At sino naman po ang babantayan ko? boyfriend mo?" Kuya allan laughed.
Zarya looked away, like a sulking child. "no. Just a friend of mine. Close friend..."
"Friend ba talaga? Bakit kailangan mo siyang ipabantayan?" Kuya Allan teased her.
"Because I'll be going back to Italy tomorrow...and I don't know when I will be back. Or if makakauwi pa ba ako. She doesn't know that I am leaving, I don't want her to know." Zarya's face became serious, like she really meant everything she said.
Kuya Allan noticed how Zarya's expression shifted. Umayos na rin siya ng upo, and stared at Zarya.
He really had no choice, he had nowhere else to turn.
"Sige na nga. Wala na rin akong ibang pagpipilian. Gagawin ko. Bantayan ko 'yang kaibigan mo nang maayos, at tatanggapin ko na lang para sa anak ko." Finally, he let out a long sigh and nodded slowly.
_______
After hearing everything he told me, halos ayaw kong maniwala. It felt so hard to understand it, my mind still trying to process all of it.
"So... Zarya sent Xylla to college?? And in exchange, you needed to watch over me??" I asked, my voice still shaky, parang hindi ako makapaniwala na ganoon kalaki ang ginawa niya.
"Oo, wala akong choice noon eh. Naalis ako sa trabaho at wala akong ipon pang college ni Xylla. Wala na talaga akong ibang mapupuntahan." Kuya Allan nodded slowly, his face full of sadness.
"Si Xylla...and Zarya are friends. Alam po ba nila ito? Like, do they know about this arrangement?" I blinked fast, trying to make sense of everything.
"Hindi ko alam," he answered softly, shaking his head. "Pero wala namang sinasabi sa amin si Xylla tungkol kay Zarya. Hindi ko nga alam na magkaibigan pala sila. Nalaman ko lang noong tumawag ako sa kaniya kanina."
"So you actually witnessed me grow up, looked after me... all this time... and I never even had a clue?" I let out a slow breath, feeling my chest feel so heavy.
Oh my God. Hindi niya pala talaga ako kinalimutan. She's been caring for me even from so far away. Imagine paying hundreds of thousands just for someone to keep me safe.
"Oo," Kuya Allan continued gently. "At 'yon ang dahilan bakit nalaman ko na umalis ang papa mo at nahirapan ka mag-aral. Binalita ko sa kaniya 'yon, at nag desisyon siya na siya nalang rin ang magpapa-aral sa'yo."
I froze completely. Parang biglang nawalan ng lakas ang tuhod ko.
So after all this time? All the tuition, the allowance, the chance to study law that I thought was just from some nice stranger... it was her? It was always Zarya?
Fuck heavens....she did all of that?!!
"You mean... it was her?!" I asked, shocked by everything na sinabi niya. "All of this... everything I have... it was really her?"
"Wala naman akong kakayahan para pag-aralin ka," he said quietly.
"Siya lahat 'yon. Kahit malayo siya, inisip ka rin niya palagi.
Sobrang mabait na bata, hindi ko nga alam bakit siya pinabalik sa Italy.
Kahit bodyguard lang niya ako dati, nararamdaman ko yung pag aalala niya sa'yo.
Hindi siya nagdalawang isip na pag-aralin ka.
Kaya dapat lang na malaman mo lahat ng 'to, Iris. "
Tears just kept flowing down my face nonstop now. I tried to say something, to thank him or ask more, pero parang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko. I just sat there, shaking silently, crying so hard I could barely breathe.
After all these years... she never really stopped loving me.