Chapter Thirty Hayden
CHAPTER THIRTY
HAYDEN
C harlotte’s cheeks were rosy. I loved when she blushed. She was so expressive all the time, but that blush gave her away even more.
“Santa, I was really good this year. Super good.” Gwen leaned against Santa’s shoulder, her eyes wide. “I think I get a lot of presents.”
“Oh, do you now?” Garrett said, his voice booming. “What would you like?”
“Mmmm, I think a fruit tree.”
“What type of fruit?”
“Broccoli. And corn, please.”
Garrett met my gaze, his lips twitching. “Okay, yeah, a broccoli and corn tree. What else would you like?”
Cool, thanks, Garrett. How the hell was I supposed to get a broccoli and corn tree? On Christmas Eve?
“I think a big bubble machine. Like, super big. With lots of bubbles so I can play with my friend Frankie, and Aubriella, and Jameson, and Ruby. Can we eat your cookies, Santa?”
“You sure can, and a bubble machine sounds like so much fun!”
Gwen giggled and threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you, Santa. Love you.”
“Love you too, Gwen. Thanks for being such a good girl this year.”
She slid off his lap with stars in her eyes. I nodded at Garrett, impressed at his performance. The guy was a walking contradiction, but he was great with kids, especially mine.
“Oh! Cake! I want some!” Gwen beelined for the dessert table.
“No, hon.” I picked up Gwen before she bulldozed her way into getting some. She was cute and manipulative. One little please and anyone would crumble.
“Dinner first. Then yummies.”
“I want yummy now.”
“I hear you, but dinner is first.” I set her on the chair next to Charlotte. Penny, Christian, and their parents were also at the table, but they were still walking around and mingling with guests. So it was the three of us.
I ran a hand through my hair, unsure how to proceed. I knew two things. The first—I loved Charlotte and wanted a life with her. The second—I fucked up making the wrong decision and pushing her away. My choice had her questioning point one though, so I had to make that right.
How did I do that when she wouldn’t even look at me? She stared at the tablecloth, her fingers twisting together as regret clawed at my chest. I had to find something to say to ease this tension. It was the worst. I missed our easy banter, the way she made me laugh at her jokes. Not being on speaking terms was more painful than everything. “So, are you ready for your speech?”
“Yes.” She flicked her gaze toward me but then away. Her brother walked up, a ridiculously happy smile on his face. Char nodded. “Hey, Christian.”
“Hey, Char, Porter. My girl Gwennie.” He bent down and held out his knuckles. She bumped them right away. Standing, he jutted his chin toward his sister. “Did Char tell you the news?”
“What news?” I said too fast. The tension from earlier doubled, and I gripped the table for support. Every worst-case scenario popped in my head. She was moving across the world… She brought a date… She…
“I was offered the head softball position for the junior high today.” She smiled, tracing her finger over the tablecloth as she met my gaze. Pride swirled in her eyes.
“Char,” I said, my mouth parting. I wanted to yank her into my arms and hug her, kiss her senseless, and tell her how fucking proud I was. The silence went on a beat too long, and both she and Christian stared at me funny. “That’s so awesome. Congrats.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t believe it. Mitch said I impressed him during the interview, so he wanted to hire me to run the summer program and really influence young girls in the community. It might not be the high school level, but still, this is amazing.”
“I am so proud of you.” My voice dropped low as I envisioned helping her. I could go over practice plans with her. I could keep stats for her during the season, if she wanted. But all of that only made sense if she’d forgive me. That sobered up my derailing thoughts.
“We all are.” Penny joined our table as she narrowed her eyes at me. Shit. She knew that I had let Charlotte down. Then she said, “Char deserves the world for how wonderful she is. Don’t you agree, Hayden?”
“Penny,” Char whispered, her face blushing again.
I waited for her gaze to meet mine. Her blush spread to her neck, and she twisted her lips together. I spoke slowly and intentionally. “I am proud of you, but you should feel proud of yourself. You impressed the AD so much that you got an offer for a job you never applied for. This is huge, and I am so happy for you and that community. It might be different than what you planned originally, but you earned this.”
“Thanks, Hayden. I do feel really proud. Thanks again for your help.” She grinned, but it didn’t last long before she leaned toward Penny. I felt Christian staring at me, and when I glanced at him, he jutted his chin toward the bar.
I frowned.
“I want my best man for a drink. Come on. The ladies will watch Gwen.”
“Of course we will,” Penny said, more curt than normal. That meant one thing—Christian knew. Penny told him. He was going to tell me to stay the hell away from Charlotte.
My throat ached with emotion. This wasn’t how I had envisioned this conversation. I wanted to wait until we could tell him together, and he could see how happy I made her.
Christian dug his fingers into my shoulder. Yup. He knew.
“Do we need to head outside for this?” I asked, resigned to my fate.
“What? No? It’s cold as shit. I want a drink.”
He ordered two shots of tequila. We did them, and then he sighed. “I love you, man.”
“Yeah, uh, you too.” My neck burned.
“No. I love you. Feelings are weird for you, I get it. But this is a kind of love that stays forever. No matter what. You feel me?”
I didn’t respond.
He cackled. “I’m marrying my best friend, and my closest friends are here. I’m about to become a father. I couldn’t be happier. But what I don’t understand is why you think you deserve to suffer.”
Frowning, I shifted my weight. “I still don’t get it.”
“Charlotte. I’m not an idiot. I love you clowns so much, but I’m sick of seeing you two dance around the reality. If it’s me that’s holding you back, then I’ve been a shit friend. I never gave you any indication you weren’t good enough for Charlotte. You’re the best man I know. You work harder than anyone. You get knocked down and rise up stronger. You raised a baby, by yourself, and she is one of the best things in our life. That takes courage very few people have. You’re one of the youngest assistant coaches at the university level, and you’ve helped transform their program in just three years. Do I need to list more reasons why you’re incredible?”
I shook my head, overcome with emotion. I couldn’t speak. My palms were sweating, and the urge to vomit hit me hard. This was the last thing I had expected.
“I respect you, admire you, and am proud to be your friend. Even if you and Charlotte don’t work it out, nothing will change. Sure, I might not invite you both over at the same time, but this is an intervention. Figure your shit out and fix my sister’s heart. I know you hurt her.”
“Simone showed up,” I blurted out. “She might want to be a mom again, and I panicked. I pushed Charlotte away out of fear. I made decisions for her, that she would be better off without me and my baggage.”
“Simone? Dude. Why the hell did you not tell me?”
“Your wedding. We didn’t… Char and I… we were together since the resort. Officially. She didn’t want to tell you until after the wedding. She was adamant about not stealing an ounce of your or Penny’s thunder.” I swallowed. “Please don’t be mad at her. She did what she thought was best. Be pissed at me.”
“Did she know about Simone?”
“Yes.”
“She never told me.”
“Because she was trying to protect me.” I pinched my nose. “I love her, Christian. I do. I want her to be my wife. I want her to be Gwen’s stepmom, and I want more kids with her, if she wants them. I’m just not sure I’m who she needs.”
“All my sister needs is someone who accepts her for her. Someone who brings her joy and makes her laugh, and you’re annoyingly funny with her. She wants support and someone she can depend on. She needs someone to build her up. Most of all, she wants to be loved.” Christian’s eyes sparkled. “You do that for her now. She’s a lifer though. Loyal as hell. She’s a Calhoun.”
“I wasn’t there when she didn’t get the job,” I said softly. “Her worst moment, and I couldn’t make it. That’s not forgivable.”
“Says who? Your daughter’s mother shows up after three years, potentially threatening the safety of your family? Yeah. That’s understandable. Sure, you could’ve communicated better, but learn from this. Trust her to love you back. That’s your issue. You’re too afraid to let her return your feelings.” He clapped my shoulder again, smiling. “Here comes the threatening part.”
“Okay.” I gulped, exhaling long and slow. “I knew this was coming.”
“Dude.” He laughed. “I meant… you have until the photos tomorrow to figure this out. I don’t want my forever pictures of my wedding to be ruined because my sister is sad. Fix it. You have a day.”
He winked before strutting off. Penny stared at us and tilted her head, the two of them communicating without words. They were in on this. The thought almost made me smile.
I ran a hand over my face, analyzing his words. Christian gave me his blessing and then some. He wasn’t holding us back. It was me. I stared at Charlotte, my heart swelling with how much I loved her. She had her arm around Gwen, the two of them coloring on a paper napkin. My baby girl rested her head on Charlotte and looked up with a huge grin.
Charlotte hugged her, and when she glanced up, her gaze found mine. It was like a lightning bolt ricocheting through my body. One side of her mouth quirked up in a shy smile, and her blush traveled down her neck.
I made her blush.
I smiled back, feeling lighter than I had in a good while. We’d be okay. I’d work hard for it, that was for damn sure. Like I told my guys all the time, you put in the work if you want something bad enough.
I was done using my own insecurities as excuses. I was going to fight. For her, for us, for Gwen.
I knew just what to do.
“Good evening, everyone,” I said into the microphone. Christian and Penny had requested speeches from Charlotte and me tonight instead of at the wedding. It was untraditional and on brand for them, but I was glad because this was my chance. About thirty people stared back at me in various forms of smiles.
But I focused on one face in particular. My woman.
“Love has a way of bringing out the best in us, some ways more conventional than others. For Penny and Christian, it’s a new level of holiday cheer that borders on unhinged.” The crowd chuckled like I meant them to.
“While we’re all dressed in green and red and we have Santa here, we can agree that the future Mr. and Mrs. Calhoun are extra. And it’s my favorite part about them. They match each other’s extra. Christian is competitive and rowdy, while Penny will stop at nothing to win and is resourceful. He might have a louder voice, but she’d find a megaphone. Christian loves hard and aggressively, words of affirmation are his love language. He makes me a better man to talk about my feelings. Penny’s love language is acts of service. She would do anything for anyone at any time. She taught me how to put others first, that giving yourself to someone else means trusting them and opening yourself up. For you to be a part of this couple’s lives is a blessing.” My eyes prickled, and I stared right at Charlotte.
“When I think about love, and family, and marriage, I think of supporting each other through hard times. I think about laughing at mundane things. I once watched these two laugh so hard they cried over an inside joke that made no sense. I think about the time Penny got a flat tire in a rainstorm, and Christian left a baseball game to help her. I think about the time Christian needed surgery, and Penny never missed an appointment. She also made him a bracelet to hold on to because she knew how much surgery freaked him out.”
I cleared my throat. “We all deserve the love that Christian and Penny have. We deserve to be swept off our feet, to know what it’s like to be accepted for who we are, flaws and all. Because look, Christian has flaws. He laughs way too loud. Likes dumb movies.” Everyone chuckled. “Wears horrible sweaters that are kind of offensive. Yet Penny loves him anyway.”
“Yeah, I do!” she shouted. She rested her head on his shoulder and beamed at me.
“Now, I need to be honest here as I talk about the people I love most in the world.” Shit. Nerves got me bad. My voice came out scratchy and throaty. This was my moment. “I have another Calhoun I need to talk about because, you see… I’m not just Christian’s best man. I’m also a man who is in love with the woman sitting next to him. His sister.”
The room buzzed, or maybe it was my mind. I could be blacking out. There had been few times I was this nervous, to the point my brain wasn’t getting oxygen. I inhaled, forcing myself to swallow, because oh my God. What if she hated this? What if she’s embarrassed? I didn’t know if she thought public proposals were cute or horrific. I never asked. It wasn’t on my list.
Everyone stared at me. All thirty of them. And Garrett. My throat closed up. Oh no no no. The tequila shot was about to come up.
“Keep talking. I’m listening!” Charlotte cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. “Tell me how amazing I am.”
She was perfect. She knew I had frozen and helped bring me back.
Everyone laughed, and Christian nodded at me, giving me his approval. I glanced at Penny and found her smiling like a fool. The unspoken you can do this had me standing taller.
“My world changed when I met Charlotte. Her contagious smile, her infectious laughter, and her genuine kindness captivated me. She still finds shapes in the clouds and makes everyone around her better people. Our timing hasn’t lined up, but after some much-needed advice from my best friend, I realized we have to make our own timing. Christian and Penny taught me that. You fight for the life you want, especially if it’s hard. So, Charlotte. This is me fighting for you. I won’t stop. Gwen and I love you, want you in our lives, and I will use my adorable daughter to get you to forgive me.”
She smiled.
“I’m sorry for being afraid. I’m sorry for not trusting us. I want this to be us next year. I don’t care if you want to wear gingerbread costumes or dress up as wreaths or shatter snow globes as a party trick. I’ll do whatever you want, as long as you’ll have me back.”
People sniffed.
Charlotte’s eyes glistened as she blew out a long breath. I’d only felt this stress two other times. The state championship final where I was up to bat before the final out and the day Gwen showed up.
Christian leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She laughed. Then she stood, the sound of the chair scraping on the tile floor. It was like the whole room held its breath, everyone on pins and needles.
She ran her teeth over her bottom lip as she approached me, her pulse visibly racing at the base of her neck. I had tunnel vision. It was just her. Her smile, her eyes, her hair, the little sway of her hips, and the slight dimple on her left side. I gulped.
“How convenient there’s mistletoe here.” She jutted her chin toward the ceiling. “Think we should kiss?”
“Get over here.”
I tossed the mic to her uncle and yanked my woman against me and kissed her.
And she sure as hell kissed me back.