35. Willow
THIRTY-FIVE
Willow
T he flight back to Venice is bittersweet. I get to see my dog again, my friends, my family.
But I'm agitated.
Don't wanna go.
Ben drove us to the airport, our personal shuttle driver with me right up front. We were quiet for most of it, both wishing our time together wasn’t over. I think a lot of us felt that way. I heard Marco and Michelle making plans for him to visit her in NYC and she, him in Italy. I heard a catch in her voice, emotions getting the best of her.
I think Sienna was the only one ready to go home. She had on her headphones, bopping her head to music unheard by us, eyes cast outward to a future of bright lights and oh so many people.
When I got out, Ben revealed a gift for me that was hidden in the cargo bin. “I made this.” He flipped around the wood and I gasped to read, It’s Possible.
“When did you do this?”
“Right after you showed me your photos of wildflowers.”
“Really? But that was?—”
“—right in the middle of all the drama. I know,” he said, holding my gaze with meaning.
“When you just met me?”
Ben pulled me to him, board hanging in one hand, voice deep. “Willow, I grew up on that property but I never saw wildflowers until you showed them to me. If you go after this dream, I think you can make something of it. I knew you needed to hear it and I wanted to be the one to say it.”
A lump formed in my throat and I threw my arms around his neck, hugged him tight, whispered against his frown. “Thank you! I’m going to miss you so much.”
“You have a lot to distract you.”
“Doesn’t matter, because nothing can.”
I know that in my heart.
The group of us retreat goers said our goodbyes, hugging and saying we’ll keep in touch with the contact information we each exchanged. Ben hugged everyone, too, and Dax kissed him on the cheek. “Sorry I was hard on you.”
“That’s what friends do,” Ben smiled. “They look after friends.”
Dax pointed at him. “Then I’ll be looking after you now, too.” To the group Dax said, “I’m gonna be looking after all of you. ”
Maggie grinned, “Right back at you! In fact, and don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you should maybe cut back on the drinking. You don’t need it to be the artist you are.”
Tears unexpectedly sprang to Dax’s eyeliner’d eyes. “Not as easy as that, Mags.”
Kind words spun around until the next thing spinning was suitcase wheels, sadly in different directions.
With Ben and I the last to stand at the curb, I kissed him. “I don’t want to go!”
“Stay. Have your dog sent here.”
“I can’t do it like that. I have so many people I need to… I don’t know. Just call me, okay?”
“Bye Willow.” My heart ached as I headed for the gate that took me home. To stave off my longing, I looked forward to seeing my dog, my family…my Gemma.
And now, after a four-and-a-half-hour nonstop flight, Gem is picking me up at the airport, texting me where to find her outside of the baggage area at LAX. I used to think this was the busiest airport but now I’m acutely aware that Atlanta has it beat.
Rolling my luggage outside, holding tight to me my wooden gift — It's Possible — I search the noise and bustle for my best friend, spotting within seconds the red Subaru and her matching short, spiky red hair.
“Gemma!" I hurry to where she stands beside the car, arguing with a security guy.
“See! There she is!"
"You can't park here "
“She's right there! I’m just picking up my friend. How else do I pick her up? Jeez. Take a Quaalude."
I offer him a nothing-to-freak-out-about smile and haul my stuff into her hatchback. "Thanks so much, Sir.”
He grumbles at me and heads off to berate some other unlucky human beings with his bad attitude.
Gemma mutters, “What an asshole!”
"He has a terrible job."
We climb in the car. “He picked it.” She turns on the ignition. “And he has a paycheck taking care of his necessities so what the fuck is he grumbling about?” Through the window she shouts, “Lots of jobless people out there!” then leans over to hug me over the gear-shift. “It's so good to see you, Will! I missed you so much! "
"I missed you, too.”
She starts laughing. “Ha! Yeah, really believable!”
Looking at a fresh text on my phone from Ben, I blurt, "I'm in love."
Gemma freezes, seatbelt in hand. “With the countryside?”
On the short ride home, I tell her everything, every single little detail you’d tell a best friend. She voraciously drinks it all in, asking questions, laughing, freaking out with excitement for me, and then getting really quiet as we pull up into my apartment building’s parking structure. "I need a drink. Do you wanna go get a drink?"
"Let me just take my bags up. "
I leave my phone in the car, and she pops the hatchback. Hurrying, I bring my luggage upstairs, open the door to a surprise.
“Thor!”
He jumps all over me, licking my face, as Brady watches with a grin on his.
“Gemma told me when you were getting in. Thought I’d bring the li’l buddy over to greet you.”
“I’m so glad you did! Hi Thor! I missed you so much!” I pick up my heavy little friend. “How was he?”
“Good. He warmed up to me again.”
“Gemma’s waiting outside. We’re going to Baja Cantina. Wanna come?”
“Sure, I’ll grab the leash.”
“Let me put my luggage in the bedroom!” Putting down Thor after several kisses, I head off. “Oh and I have to use the bathroom! Back in a minute. I’m buying dinner! Or late lunch! Or whatever this is. The time change has me all wonky.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“You watched him for me.”
Brady rubs his head, looking sheepish. “It was fun.”
I laugh, “Oh, now he says that!”
Disappearing, I take care of what I need to do and on a whim, snag my camera from my suitcase, reappearing in the living room to find Brady holding up the wooden sign I left by the front door. “ What’s this?”
“Um…more about that soon.”
He sets it back down and we walk outside, Thor leading the way to my elevator as Brady says, “I started seeing someone.”
“You did?” I push the button, look over to find he’s smiling a different kind of smile. “How?”
“How? That’s a weird question.”
“Online dating?”
We walk into the elevator. “Nope.”
“Then how isn’t a weird question.” I push the G-button for Garage.
He chuckles as the doors close. “I was walking Thor at the beach.”
“Ahhhhh, now I see. He’s a chick magnet.”
“Nope. She was drumming in the drum circle, and Thor went up to her . She stopped drumming and we uh…got to talking.”
That circle has been going on for decades at Venice Beach, a group of strangers bringing their hand-held and standing drums — like the djembe, Bongo, Conga, Timpani — to sit in a circle and make music as old as time. For free, onlookers enjoy a beat that surpasses ocean waves and thousands of passerby conversations; it’s so cool that I’m wildly impressed she’s a part of it. “What’s her name?”
“Elsa. She’s from Sweden, but she traveled to Africa volunteering at orphanages for three years, and that’s where she learned to play.”
“Come on now. She’s not real. You made her up.”
He laughs with all of himself, clearly crazy about her. The doors open and we discover Gemma waiting for us.
“Brady!”
“Hey Gem.”
She asks me, “Did you tell him?”
“No.”
To Brady she asks, “Are you coming with us to Cabo?”
As the four of us head across the street to the restaurant, Brady hands me Thor’s leash and asks, “ What didn’t you tell me?”
“I met someone, too.”
“Too?” Gemma asks.
Adjusting the camera slung over my shoulder by its strap I tell her, “Brady met a philanthropic drummer.”
“I’m sorry, please explain.”
Brady slows, hand up in a stop sign. “Wait. We both met someone?”
We decide to hold the storytelling until we snag a table in the bar, sand under our feet, straw ceiling overhead with short palm trees in corners, and life-size ones outside lining Washington Boulevard all the way the two blocks to the ocean.
“Three margaritas, please.”
“Salt?” the server confirms.
I nod for all of us. “And chips and guacamole, please.”
“You got it.” They disappear.
Over our drinks and chips and guac, then finally our meals of shared fajitas, enchiladas and tacos, we share stories of everything that happened while I was away.
With only crumbs on the table, and our second round almost gone, Brady asks, “What was that It’s Possible board you said you were going to tell me about later?”
My heart starts pounding. Showing strangers a photograph is one thing, but telling the people who know you most in the world that you might become an artist and leave behind the safety of a paycheck? Not so easy. Holding up my camera I feel like I’m shaking. “I have something to show you guys.” Flipping the camera on, I present my favorites, starting with a closeup of Arwen’s face with a halo-like glow from the sun behind her. To my surprise, after photo upon photo is displayed, my friends are speechless until Gemma’s blue eyes widen and lock onto me. “Willow! What the fuck? You’re really good!”
Brady stares at the closeup of a wren I shot bathing in their pond, little droplets caught mid-air. “Wow, that’s beautiful. You froze all the water it was spraying!”
Flipping through more, I tell them both, “I’m going to research how to make money as a photographer.”
Gemma raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “This is crazy!”
I give her a mischievous smile. “Gemma, you’re the one who said I live too safely. ”
“I did but…wow Willow. You really…I’m very impressed.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes!”
My phone rings and Ben’s name lights up the screen. No photo yet, ironically. Gemma swipes it up. “She’s not moving!”
“Gemma!” I laugh.
She puts him on speaker. “This is Gemma, Willow’s best friend. Brady is with us. Oh, did you tell him about Brady?”
“She did,” Ben says with a smile in his voice. “Hi. I’m guessing Thor is with you.”
Brady answers, “Yep. Hi Ben. Nice to kind of meet you.”
Gemma demands, “Send a picture of yourself.”
Ben chuckles. “What? Okay. Hang on. You do the same.”
The three of us get together for a selfie and hold up our nearly gone margaritas, squeezing into the shot with Brady holding the camera-phone since his arms are the longest. “Wait!” I put down my glass, grab Thor and hold his cute face up. After we take the pic, I snag the phone back and text Ben. “Coming now.” As I type, one pops through of him and I try to see it first, but Gemma successfully steals my phone.
She gasps at the photo of him sitting on his couch, a smile only in his green eyes. He’s gorgeous, and I grin at her like See ?!
Brady squirms in his chair. “Work out much? ”
Ben laughs, “I don’t really.”
Gem jokes, “Oh, just born that way?”
“It uh…runs in the family. Just got yours. You guys look like you’re having fun.”
“She’s not moving!”
“Gemma,” I laugh, telling him quickly, “I didn’t say I was.”
“Don’t dash my hopes,” Ben says.
“Can I call you after?”
Brady asks, “Why don’t you come for a visit?”
“If I come for a visit I’ll take Willow back with me. As my souvenir.”
Gemma covers her face, and shocks me by crying. “I’m sorry! I just…I’m sorry!”
“Gem?” I put my arm around her. “Ben, let me call you back.”
“No, I’m just…I’m so happy for you!”
Tears of love and surprise jump to my eyes. “Ben, let me call you back.”
Ben says, “Gemma?”
“Yeah?”
“I know she’s in good hands with you.”
I swipe the speaker off and bring the phone to my ear. “Call you soon.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
We hang up and I hug my girl.
She sniffles, “He’s in love with you. I’m so happy for you! But I don’t want you to move!”
“We haven’t said that,” I whisper, though I know it’s true .
Gem grabs a napkin while Brady watches us, unsure of how to handle this except with silence. She wipes her eyes while smiling at me. “What am I gonna do without my Will?”
“I’m not gone yet.”
“Think I could sleep over?”
“Of course.”
Not to be rude, I ask, “Brady, wanna join and sleep on the couch?”
“Elsa’s picking me up.”
“So that’s why you’ve been texting like crazy.” I grin, hugging him.
Brady asks, “Do you love him?”
My gaze falls to my lap. “I do, but he doesn’t know that yet.”
“I think he does.”
Gemma covers her face again. “You met him! You met the one! I always told you love is real and you were the one who said you might live on your own forever.”
“With my friends,” I add, reminding her.
“So what, I’m supposed to move to Georgia, too?”
Thinking of one of the stories Sylvia told Laura and I when it was just the four sitting on the porch that night, of her moving from New York City to Georgia after Rachel did, I give a hopeful smile, “Anything is possible.”
“I’m a city girl, Willow.”
Reaching over and touching her knee, I give it a gentle squeeze. “I know. We better go back soon if we wanna watch a movie before crashing out. I have to work tomorrow.”
“What movie could beat this?” Gemma laughs, wiping her eyes. “I just want to talk and then go to sleep. Spend time with you while I still can.”
Brady calls for the check, “I have to go. I’m getting dinner.”
“I said I was getting dinner!”
“I want to.” His voice is thoughtful as he pets the dog we bought together, that’s now mine. “Funny how life works out.”
We head back, say goodbye to Brady, and take my building’s stairs to walk off dinner. Maybe slow time, too. Gemma’s unusually quiet, and so am I.
Giving Ben a text, “I’ll call you in the morning, okay? Gem’s feeling sad,” I focus all of my attention on my best girl.
When friends need you, you show up.
Because life really is short.
And people?
They’re what make life worth living.