CHAPTER 27
collins
NOW
“Wait, don’t I know you?” He looks at me through eyes that just realized something’s familiar.
Fuck. I quickly dart my gaze to Johnnie, whose mouth is slightly open, looking between me and Greg.
“Uh, no, man. We’ve never met, but Johnnie mentioned your name. The fiancé, right?” I brush on the best non-panicked smile I can manage. Meanwhile, my insides are writhing.
“That’s right, the ex.” He shuffles from one foot to the other, placing his hands in his pockets, giving a tight-lipped smile.
It’s been five years since I stood in front of this man.
Truth be told, I never wanted to see his face again.
Even though he had my whole world once, she no longer belongs to him.
Reminding myself of that lessens my contempt for the man. A bit.
As much as I don’t want to leave her here with him right now, I’m starting to feel awfully damn uncomfortable with the way these two are looking at each other.
Johnnie looks defeated but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think she was somewhat glad to see him.
I have no idea what the hell happened between them, but I can tell I don’t belong here right now.
“Well, good to meet you, man.” I start to head to the door, but think better of it and turn to head toward my girl, wrapping her up in a hug and placing a kiss on her cheek, while eyeing Greg the entire time.
Then, without a word, I slip out the door and pray to God that this situation doesn’t send Johnnie and me backward on any progress we’ve just made.
Well, fuck. My plans just went to hell for tonight. There’s only one thing I can think of to take my mind off the bullshit.
I don’t know how I managed to get this drunk, this fast, but it’s not often my brothers and I tie one on down at Houdini’s like we used to. I’d say we were overdue.
I didn’t bother driving here, just walked straight from Johnnie’s door through town to the bar.
Crandall was riding by on his motorcycle just as I reached the front of the building.
He parked and came in to see what was going on, and an hour later Campbell was here and the three of us were four tequila shots and I don’t know how many beers deep, playing a game of darts.
“Ouch. Fucker!” I turn around and find Campbell hysterically laughing as a dart protrudes from my ass where this idiot lodged it. Freaking out, I reach down and pluck it out, only to realize it was actually just stuck in my jeans, not my skin, thank god. “You asshole, I’m done with this game.”
Both of my brothers are laughing at me as I slam the dart down and go sit down at the bar. Grabbing the phone from my pocket, I shoot off a text to Johnnie.
Collins:
You good?
The tequila running through my veins isn’t enough to dull the ache in my chest. The thought of her being with him right now is about to eat me alive.
It’s a special kind of hell. When I don’t see a response from her immediately, every emotion only magnifies.
Of course this would happen. The moment I start to think I might be getting her back, fucking Gary shows up.
He’s probably on a mission to get her back.
Who could blame him? What if he takes her away from me… again?
I stare at my phone for another few minutes before downing another shot and putting it back in my pocket.
It’s not exactly crowded here, but there’s a decent amount of people.
My attention goes to the group of college kids over in the corner, setting up equipment for what looks like karaoke.
Oh, great. I better get out of here before Crandall has us all up on that little stage trying to sing Shania Twain or some shit.
He’s just drunk enough to do it. That one is always wild, but put a little alcohol in him and a whole new level is unleashed.
“Hey, Marty, can you cash me out? I think it’s time to call it a night.”
The gray-haired man behind the bar smiles at me and grabs my card, punching fingers at the computer.
Just as he’s handing the card back to me, two hands come down on my shoulders. “You wouldn’t be thinking about leaving us, little brother, now would you?” Crandall looks over to the karaoke set up and back to me. I fucking knew it.
Then Campbell puts a beer down in front of me, holding one of his own. “Come on, let’s do this. For old times’ sake.”
Dad used to have a karaoke machine in our basement growing up.
We would put on performances for Mom when we were kids.
Dad actually had a decent singing voice, but none of us brothers could carry a tune in a bucket.
Mom would laugh and clap, watching us with pride, regardless.
I miss laughing with them like that. Being a family like we used to be.
The grief of our current reality, no Mom and Dad, hits me, and I say, “Fuck it,” once again tonight, and pick up the beer bottle, heading over to join the twins and grabbing a microphone.
“You know which one we have to do.” Crandall pulls the hoodie he’s wearing up and over his head, throwing it on the closest table.
A few of the younger girls, who must be from the lake campus, are not so subtly swooning over his muscular, tattooed arms out on display.
He walks over to the DJ, starting a conversation we can’t hear over the current beat blasting through the speakers at the edge of the stage.
Campbell and I look at each other, knowing what song he’s asking to play.
We have a signature karaoke song, or at least we did.
I can’t help but smile, ignoring the dizziness in my head and determined to focus on the moment and not the sense of trepidation I have about my love life.
The music fades away, and Crandall has the attention of every female in this place as he taps on the microphone and motions for us to join him.
“Good evening, ladies and gentleman,” he begins, and Campbell and I join him, rolling our eyes and chuckling under our breaths.
“I’m Crandall, and these are my brothers.
” He punches Campbell then me, and we simultaneously jab him back, causing him to double over and laugh into the mic, which starts screeching.
Everyone covers their ears and cringes, before breaking out in laughter. Crandall doesn’t even have to say or do anything, he’s just one of those people that radiates finesse.
The beginning of David Murphy’s “Dust on the Bottle” starts to play, and just like that—we’re kids again.
Arms around each other’s shoulders, singing about Creole Williams, smiling like nothing bad has happened to us.
In this heartbeat of time, it’s just the Combs brothers existing in the glow of neon lights, where the shadows of reality dissolve.
When my attention focuses back on the other people in the smoky bar, there are a handful of girls cheering us on as they dance and grind against each other, attempting to draw our attention.
I have no idea if they’re succeeding with my brothers or not, but as soon as the song ends I know exactly who I want to be looking at, and it’s not anyone in this bar.
I check my phone. Still nothing from Johnnie. The euphoric feeling I had moments ago fades away when the realization of her apparent indifference sets in.
A while later, Crandall sobered up, and I ride bitch on the back of his motorcycle to the trailer park. I was like his damn backpack, and I know he’ll never let me live it down. He acts like he’s going to go home, knowing full well he’ll be sneaking into Lou’s since it’s way past Billy’s bedtime.
“See you later, thanks for the ride…I think.” I start walking to Johnnie’s door, and my annoyance and anger alleviate the second I realize Greg’s vehicle isn’t here anymore.
“Good night, sweetheart. Sleep tight, don’t let the ex-girlfriends bite…unless you’re into that.”
“Get the fuck out of here.”
I hear his chuckles over my own as I knock on the door. It’s completely dark inside but I hear footsteps immediately.
Johnnie flings the door open, hair wet, a big T-shirt hanging off one shoulder, exhaustion on her face.
“Can I come in?”
She just steps back, and I don’t waste any time crossing the threshold.
“Are you drunk? You smell like a brewery.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m sober, but I’m not exactly drunk. I was at Houdini’s with my brothers.” I toe off my boots and throw my zip-up hoodie on top of them, hands finding my hips, like I need to prepare myself for whatever conversation we’re about to have.
“Did your fiancé leave?”
She sighs and crosses her arms over her chest as though she’s in need of a sudden barrier between us, and I immediately hate it.
“Ex-fiancé. And I’m sorry, Collins. I had no idea he would show up here.
I shouldn’t have let you just leave like you did, but I think my brain couldn’t compute what the right thing to do in that situation was.
It’s been such a crazy day. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced so many emotions in a twenty-four-hour span before.
It’s exhausting.” She reaches up, gathering her hair on top of her head and securing it with the hair tie on her wrist.
I can’t help my eyes darting to the sliver of silky pale blue underwear that is now visible with the rise of her arms, lit only by the glow of the porch light sneaking in through the narrow door window. She notices where my eyes went and shyly pulls on the hem of her shirt.
“I’ve seen a lot more than that, you know.” The words are out of my mouth so fast, regret slamming into me the instant I see the look on Johnnie’s face. “I’m sorry, I should stop talking, the tequila has a mind of its own.” I reach up and take her chin between my thumb and finger.
She smiles slightly and looks up into my eyes. “I was about to go to bed. Can you stay with me? We can talk tomorrow. I just want to go to sleep.”
Those words are literal music to my ears.
“Of course, come on.” I grab her hand and walk to the bedroom, stripping my jeans and T-shirt off, leaving only my boxers and climbing into bed. She follows me, and we, once again, melt into each other like there’s nowhere else either one of us could possibly belong.
Intoxicated on Johnnie along with the alcohol, I’m asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
When I wake up in a haze in the middle of the night, I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or if it’s reality when I hear her murmur something about not wanting to go back to Texas.