CHAPTER 28
collins
THEN
Any buzz from the beers we consumed earlier has worn off, and we’re tucked under blankets in the bed of the truck.
The fire is dying down but still glows orange, rivaling the moon.
It makes for a more than perfect ambiance.
Johnnie’s head rests in the crook of my shoulder, my hand running up and down her arm as we stare up at the stars.
“You were right. This is much better than a tent.”
I smile and grab her hand, intertwining our fingers. The canopy of tree branches doesn’t stop us from seeing the twinkling night sky between the fluttering silhouette of leaves. There’s a light breeze and a strand of her hair blows across my face, smelling of something sweet. Cotton candy, maybe.
Johnnie turns her head toward my face, and I can’t resist pressing my lips to her temple, feeling the pump of her pulse under my kiss.
“I want to get you something special for your birthday, something you can have with you always. But I want you to help me pick it out. Whatever you want, a necklace, earrings, your choice. Come shopping with me tomorrow?”
“That’s so sweet of you, but you don’t have to spend your money on me.
I’m happy with the simple things. You could give me that beer tab over there.
” She nods toward the pile of cans in the corner of the bed.
“I’d wear that around my neck just as proudly as a diamond, as long as it was from you.
” I sit up and reach over to the empty beers, grabbing one and working the tab loose.
“That so? Well, here. Unclasp your necklace.”
She reaches behind her, bringing each end up between us.
I take one side from between her fingers and thread it on the silver chain, watching it slide down, resting next to her dolphin charm.
She clasps it back into place and rests her hand on her chest, the new symbol of something only the two of us will ever understand underneath and she beams at me.
“Well, now you need one, too.” She reaches out to grab another can, and I laugh.
“I don’t have a necklace.”
She pries the tab off and holds it out in the palm of her hand. “That’s okay, we’ll improvise.” She reaches down and starts untying my muddy shoe. She slides the tab onto the shoestring, then ties it again. “There.”
“Tell me something. Like a secret. Something you’ve never told anyone else,” she says, her lips upturning in a smile.
“A secret, huh? Let me think.” I chew on the inside of my cheek, deep in thought. “What if I tell you something that makes you feel different about me?”
She turns, resting her chin on her hand and looking at me, her expression serious.
“There’s nothing, not a single thing you could say that would make me think any less of you.
You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met in my entire life.
How about this? Why don’t I tell you a secret first?
” She sits up now and crosses her legs, tucking her hair behind her ears, and looking down at me.
“My whole life, I’ve never once doubted that my parents love me.
But loving them back? Sometimes, that’s been harder than it should be.
Most days were normal enough. You’d never guess anything was wrong from the outside.
But I always felt like somewhat of an inconvenience to them.
And they had a tendency of drinking more than they should, which certainly didn’t help things.
” She looks at me with shame written all over her face.
Like she hates that she spoke about them in a negative way, and sighs before continuing.
“They just don’t see it, the way their actions, their drinking, spill into everything. The way it bleeds into our lives and stains the good parts.”
My heart breaks a fraction at her confession. I knew her parents rubbed me the wrong way, and I even got the feeling that she was trying to protect them from something. It all makes a lot more sense now, even though it feels like she’s still holding back.
I sit up and grab both of her hands, bringing them to my lap.
“I’m so sorry you’ve had to live that way.
It’s really not okay for them to put you through that.
I won’t say anything else, because I know your goal isn’t to pit me against them, but just know that I want a better life for you than what you’ve been dealt so far.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve.” She stays quiet, looking down at our hands.
“Johnnie?” I reach up, putting a finger under her chin to ease her face up to look at me.
“Okay,” she says, just above a whisper. “I’m so grateful I found you.”
This girl is really something.
“John, I’m the grateful one, I’m so lucky fate exists, found the two of us, and decided we needed to be in the same place at the same time.
When my parents died…sure, I had my brothers, but sometimes I feel like they have each other.
They have this bond because they’re twins.
And it feels a little like I’m a bit of an outsider.
They don’t know I feel that way, and they would never want me to, but it’s just the way things are.
I’m the odd man out. After our grandma died, even though we weren’t super close to her, I just started feeling like no matter who I started to care about, they would end up leaving me.
That’s a lonely thought. You filled this void inside me that I didn’t even realize was there until you showed up. You healed me.”
She smiles slightly at my words, and I squeeze her hands.
“So, I guess you could say I told you a secret now, too.”
She comes toward me, positioning herself in my lap, and I wrap my arms around her lower back.
“You healed me too, Collins.”
Our lips come together like magnets in a soulful kiss.
I really don’t know where this life will take the two of us, especially after this summer, after her senior year.
But what I do know is that I don’t ever want to forget the way this girl makes me feel.
I want to remember this moment, this night with her. Forever.
“I want to tell you something else, Johnnie. But I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.
” Our mouths hover a breath apart. “When I told you that I had never met anyone who felt worthy enough to give a part of my soul to? So much has happened since that day. I would love nothing more than to share a piece of myself with you. Give you something to have, for always.”
She kisses me gently again before backing away and running her lips against my cheek.
“I’ve known that I wanted to give you a piece of myself for a long time now, I couldn’t agree more.”
“I don’t want you to do something just because you think it’s what I want.”
She cuts me off before I can utter another word by pressing a finger to my mouth.
“I swear I want this with you. Don’t think for a second that I have any doubts, because I don’t.
Like I said, I’ve known this is the right decision for a long time.
I was just waiting for it to feel like the right time. ”
I run my fingers through her hair on each side of her head, coming up to my knees, and laying her down as I cover her with my body.
She reaches up, idly running her fingers through my hair, skimming her nails over my scalp.
It makes me shiver, and we both smile, mouths connected, and I dive my tongue in to caress hers.
She moans at the sensation, and I snap. I reach behind me, pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it to the side as Johnnie unzips my pants.
She raises up slightly, tugging her T-shirt off.
It doesn’t take her long to get out of her shorts with my help and then she’s splayed in front of me in nothing but a pink bra and matching panties.
Her hair has been up in a messy bun, secured with her signature white ribbon.
I pull the ribbon, untying it and she reaches up to pull the hair tie out, letting her hair cascade around her.
I sit back on my knees and just take in the sight of her.
“Fuck, you’re pretty, babe.”
She smiles, we lose the rest of our clothes, and under that summer night sky we get lost in each other.
The souls that she says knew each other all along reunite, and I’ve never felt anything more perfect.