Chapter 26
CHAPTER 26
A NNIE
As I pull my front door shut behind us, Beanie and I are surrounded by the cool night air and darkening sky as we prepare to take our walk.
Often, I’ll talk to Beanie while we walk, as if he can hold a conversation. Tonight, though, I’m quiet, just thinking as we stroll through the neighborhood.
This evening was our first book club since everything happened with Teddy and we weren’t sure if we should cancel until next month or not. It was Emily, though, who insisted that we not cancel, saying she needed something in her life right now that felt the same. Something that didn’t remind her Teddy was gone.
So, we held our monthly Saturday night Spicy Girls meeting. We drank wine, discussed steamy books, and pretended nothing tragic had happened in our lives in the last few weeks.
Honestly, I think it was something we all needed. Something with a sense of normalcy.
Our walk around the block is almost complete when my text message alert dings. I’m hoping it’s Jack. I texted him about an hour ago and still haven’t heard back.
I look down and see that it’s not Jack; it’s Joel.
That’s weird. He never messages now that he knows I’m with Jack.
Joel: Sorry to bug you, I’m at O’Riley’s and Jack’s here. I think you need to come down.
Shit, is Jack getting trashed again? My Jack who barely drinks… or used to barely drink, I mentally correct myself. I order an Uber since I’ve been drinking a fair amount of wine tonight and jog the last quarter of a block home. I secure Beanie in the house and grab my wallet, then go outside to wait for my ride.
Twenty minutes later, I get out of the Uber in front of O’Riley’s. My nerves are on high alert, worries about Jack. I make my way into the bar, trying to hear myself think over the music and weaving my way through the thick crowd toward the bar, where I assume Jack will be sitting.
I see Joel first and he walks toward me with two beers in his hands, extending one to me. He knows I’m here to pick up a drunk Jack. Why would I want a beer? Whatever, I tell myself, I accept it and take a sip.
“Have you seen Jack?” I half yell over the music.
He says nothing, just gestures behind him and to the far end of the bar. I walk in that direction, working my way around groups of people, and make it about twenty feet when I’m stopped dead in my tracks.
Ten feet in front of me, I see him. My Jack. My boyfriend. My friend. He’s sitting on a barstool with a glass of what looks like whiskey in front of him and an empty one next to that. His elbows are on the bar, and he’s got both of his hands over his face .
My pulse pounds in my ears louder than even the thumping of the bass from the music.
He’s not alone.
I’m so confused and everything seems like it’s happening in slow motion, like in movies during a pivotal scene, only this is my very real life.
A gorgeous blonde is at his side, facing my direction. And she’s practically climbing onto his lap. She has her left hand on his thigh and her right one across the nape of his neck, the tips of her fingers touching his hair.
I’m stunned and I can’t move. I can’t speak.
He turns to her, his back to me, and puts his hands on her hips. It’s like the moment his hands make contact with her body, time moves at regular speed again and crashes back into me full force, stealing my breath.
I don’t realize it’s happening, but I turn, and my shaking hands drop my glass at the same time—the sound of it shattering on the ground loud in my ears and drawing the attention of those around us.
“Get me out of here, please,” I yell to Joel in a panic. He’s a good ten feet away from me.
“I’ll get the car and meet you out front in a minute,” he says, pushing through the crowd ahead of me.
I force my way through the people, ducking under arms. I’m suddenly overwhelmed with a sensation of claustrophobia, feeling like everything is closing in on me. Whatever I have to do to get out of here, I will. Now.
“Annie, wait!”
It’s Jack’s voice, sounding frenzied, calling from behind me.
I speed up. I need to get outside where I can inhale fresh air— where Jack isn’t. I can’t go through this again. I can’t breathe in here. I have to get out now .
I make it out to the sidewalk and walk to the curb, watching for Joel, willing him to get here faster.
“Annie! Stop, please,” Jack yells. I glance to the side and see him on the sidewalk, rushing toward me.
I jog further down the street, desperate to get away from him.
The rapid pounding of footsteps—multiple sets—follows me, and someone grabs my arm, twirling me around. I know it’s him before I look up. I can feel it on my skin. It feels… electric. I pull back as if I’ve been burned—not just my heart, but my skin, too. He has the nerve to look wounded.
“Don’t. Touch. Me,” I warn. Stepping away from him, claiming more space. Come on, Joel, hurry, please, I silently beg.
“It’s not what it looked like…” he starts, reaching for me again. But he stops when Fitz catches up to us and puts his hand on Jack’s shoulder.
“Give her some room, Jack. Trust me,” Fitz pants out.
I ignore Fitz and glare at Jack, the man who just broke my heart. Hell, he’s been breaking it for weeks now, but tonight, he pummeled it.
“Isn’t it, Jack? Because it looked like some hot blonde was hanging all over you and you were letting her. It looked like you put your fucking hands on her damn hips! Am I wrong, Jack? Am I?” I practically scream at him.
“I was drinking, I didn’t know Chelsea was?—”
“Chelsea? The Chelsea? That’s fucking rich, Jack,” I spit back, the fury in my voice palpable. “Now you can be part of the pack that hangs with the ‘girlfriends’. I hope you’ll be happy.” I’m unable to hide the sarcasm mixing with the hurt in my voice.
“Fuck!” he yells, grabbing a fistful of his hair. “It’s not what you think, sugar?—”
“Don’t call me that! Don’t you dare. You never, ever, get to call me that again,” I yell .
Just then, thank God, Joel pulls up to the curb. He jumps out of the car and comes around to open the passenger door for me.
Jack looks shocked, then livid, when he realizes what is happening.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he yells at Joel, trying to charge toward him. Fitz holds him back.
“I’m getting her out of here, asshole. Because, unlike you, I care about her,” Joel snarks back. Then he very obviously puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me toward the passenger side of his car, placing his body between me and Jack.
I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop myself from glancing back once more.
Jack’s eyes are wide, his gazing rapidly shifting between Joel and me, his breathing quick and shallow. He turns his attention back to me.
“Annie, please don’t get into that car with him. Please let me explain. Please, baby, I love you,” he begs.
“You don’t get a say about what I do anymore, Jack.” I turn away, then whip around and face him again, not able to leave it at that.
“I didn’t want any of this,” I say, practically whispering now, gesturing between us.
“What?” he asks quietly, looking stunned and having the gall to look hurt.
“I didn’t want this. You made me want it. You promised you would not hurt me like Jason did, but you did worse. You pushed me to give you a chance. You made me love you and then you did this. You broke your promise,” I say, unable to stop the flood of words coming out of my mouth now.
My vision blurs and I realize I’m crying and now I’m even more pissed because he’s seeing my tears. I roughly wipe them away before finishing the last thing I ever need to say to Jack Donley.
“This is over. We are over… I’m… I’m calling it,” I say in a flat voice. I move to get into the car, pulling the door shut behind me and locking it. Joel makes his way around to the driver’s door and gets in.
Jack releases an anguish filled howl and it slams into my heart despite the barrier of the closed door and window. Still, I refuse to look back over at him.
“No, Annie! No!” he screams, sounding in agony.
I don’t turn back to look at him, but I can’t stop myself and I watch through the mirror as he tries to charge toward the car. Fitz, and now another firefighter I recognize, hold him back.
After we pull away, we drive in silence for several minutes, except for the few directions I give Joel on the way back to my house.
“Why don’t we stop somewhere along the way for a drink, Annie? You look like you shouldn’t be alone right now,” Joel says, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“No, I really want to go home, please,” I answer. I scoot myself as discreetly as possible toward the door so his hand falls off me.
“Come on, Annie. You deserve better than this. I told you I’d be waiting when he screwed up, and here I am. Don’t let him keep you from being happy?—”
“Stop the car,” I say. He ignores me.
“Stop the damn car now, Joel!” I raise my voice, not caring that I’m yelling at him.
“What the hell, Annie? Let me at least take you home. I’m just trying to be a good friend.”
“Stop. The. Car. Now. You’re not being a friend. You just saw me get my heart crushed and you’re trying to convince me, once again, to give you a chance. Stop the car!” I yell .
“Jesus, fine!” he says, pulling over. “Let’s talk.”
“Go to hell, Joel,” I hiss at him. I open my door and jump out of the car and then walk back in the other direction.
He tries to call out to me, but I just flip him off and keep walking. With shaking hands, I pull out my phone and open my contacts, before pressing call when I find the person I need.
“Hello?” a sleepy voice asks.
“Janie”—I say between sobs—“can you come get me?”